Many say to let go of ‘the past.’ And, yet, such an admonition can also be for purposes of concealing where there has been harm.
It is in the actual telling of such a story…and the reopening of an expression that had been shut-down (under threat)…that is the release from a ‘past.’
Two decades ago I received, in the mail, a rare copy of the book “Love Letters from Spirit to You.” This edition contained a previously unpublished 4-chapters.
There was a palpable shock that went through my system as the mailman handed me the package.
The ‘missing 4-chapters’ not previously published were significant.
Jacob Beilhart was a late 19th – early 20th century American Sage with ‘community’ in the Santa Cruz Mountains.
I opened to the following…
“…when you submit to all that is in your nature regardless as to what it has been in the past, or whether it is called good or evil, and resist not their expression even as you have not resisted the right of other persons and things to express what they would to you; when you abandon yourself entirely to all that I give you and condemn not in any expressions then I shall clear away every vestige of the past. And thus will I renew you in every part.”
Yes…in our Humanity there are mistakes…there are victims…there are ‘stories’ that need to be told…especially when there has been existential harm at the hands of spiritual teachers.
“It’s more important to be in integrity than to be ‘enlightened’.” -Adyashanti
I agree with this statement. Yet, if Adya really felt this way he would have refused to participate in the non-dual community-wide collusion and cover-up for the lies of: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (who goes by numerous, evasive, aliases).
Instead, in answer to a question of mine at one of his Santa Cruz talks, he indicated for me to actually return to SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth).
That, of course, was an impossibility.
Yet…Adya was not the only one involved in this collusion. I am not reporting on his words to single him out as this breach-in-integrity was/is systemic-wide throughout the non-dual community.
However, he and Gangaji were two of the more well-known and respected teachers to participate in this pressure-campaign to ensure my silence regarding how/why the teachings of Nome and Russ were supposedly split up.
This was systemic collusion that placed the entirety of the burden for those lies to fall squarely – and solely – on my shoulders.
In order to ensure ‘Integrity’ in the non-dual space…when (all) the acting teachers already know about these lies where is the problem with bringing this out in the open?
Is it truly ‘wise’ to perpetuate deceptions?
Thank you for following this blog and this ‘story.’ ❧
The return to Love happens differently for each and everyone of us. There are as many paths to the heart as there are individuals.
As many know, by now, I was purposefully separated out by my former teacher, Nome, for being the ‘holder’ for their lies and deceptions that included the operations of two main organizations:
Nome and Russell Smith of SAT…The Society of Abidance in Truth, Santa Cruz, CA…and Candace O’Denver, aka Candice Rinpoche of Great Freedom/Balanced View, Marin, CA.
It was this separating out…and the resultant occult controls (including auric blocks and psychic implants) over this life… that caused a trauma preventing this heart from fully opening, as I had experienced earlier in my life.
Part of those controls included being silenced (under threat) for a decade. Silencing and isolation are both considered human torture in cultures around the world. Perhaps more so, for an extrovert Aquarian!
Now, it is the re-opening of this expression…and the reason for that expression: to uphold the integrity of Truth…that is the ultimate return, in this life, to Love. ❦
(Photo..the tender winter Helliobore…taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland)
It is said that eclipses serve as catalysts for timely change. This is being written a few days before the full moon lunar eclipse in Gemini on Nov. 30, 2020 which will be followed a couple weeks later by a total solar eclipse in Sagittarius, two weeks later, on December 14. Additionally Neptune…the planetary karmic revealer is stationing direct on November 28th. More and more I am amazed at the accuracy of these planetary reflections and energetics.
In this life I have, never before, felt such a dramatic change of direction…not intention…but a radical change of direction. What I had once considered so perfectly beautiful, and true…and had, certainly, been so devoted to…now had the makings of the worst possible nightmare. As a ‘holder of information’ for high-level spiritual teachers, that nightmare has been variously described, by those who know the situation, as a ‘Soul’s torture chamber’…akin to being ‘buried alive’ and a ‘cosmic betrayal.’
Those are accurate descriptions and not-at-all exaggerated.
While this situation does not include the typical breaches of integrity commonly known as sexual manipulations (and is, most certainly, not making light of such) this particular situation is far more pervasive, insidious, systemic and dis-turbing (of Integrity) in its use of over-arching lies, deceptions, and cronyism involving cover-up, collusion, coercion and the extreme misuse of high-level siddhas (occult powers) over this life and the lives of my family.
These breaches have…and are…demanding extensive cover-up throughout the spiritual community…inclusive of other high-level contemporary teachers and certainly many in the general awakening community.
The ‘information’ I hold is in regards to the supposed separation of the teachings of Nome and Russell Smith of SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA) and Candace O’Denver, aka Candice Rinpoche of Great Freedom/Balanced View in Marin, CA. The burden for the lies regarding that supposed separation fell squarely on my shoulders…for a decade, plus.
In the (exact) words of Russell Smith, in private session many years ago: “You will fall through the cracks.”
I had no idea what he was talking about at the time. That fact of falling ‘through the cracks’ and that it was ‘not intentional to me’…were the exact words of Paul Selig’s Guides!
I knew this was not ‘intentional to me.’ There was always enormous dedication, not only student-to-teacher but teacher-to-student.
Yet…this breach, requiring enormous manipulation and suffocating control to keep it under wraps, would have never have happened without all the lying.
The lying, deflection and gas-lighting in the spiritual community regarding their knowledge of these teachers and of the situation I found myself in is systemic. This website exposes only a partial reveal of the reasons for my reporting on such over-arching corruption, coercion and collusion in the non-dual community regarding this ‘information.’
The teachers involved are high-level teachers with a certain ‘standard of gold’ teaching…and reputation.
That ‘gold-standard’ is the high-level Light.
Yet…there were lies and deceptions meant to control and manipulate seekers…some very long and devoted seekers who had given extensively, not only, of their dedication to Truth but of their time, labor and money.
The steps (occult and otherwise) taken by the main teachers to cover for their extensive and highly-coordinated lies and deceptions constitutes the high-level shadow.
This included not only high-level shadow of advanced siddhas (occult powers) in the form of ‘auric blocks’ (for control) and ‘psychic implants’ (for surveillance) utilized for top-to-bottom control by the main teacher, Nome, but shadow in the form of collusion throughout, primarily, the patriarchal Non-dual spiritual community.
This collusion included patriarchal teachers in the non-dual community as well as women non-dual teachers involved in a type of ‘false sisterhood’ based on shadow feminine energies left over from loyalty to certain patriarchy. This loyalty involved the same collusion, coercion and widespread gaslighting.
It is imperative that seekers are aware of the potential for such occult control, manipulation and extreme misuse (indeed, any misuse) of siddhas….even, and perhaps most especially, when everything seems to be pointing to high clarity and Light.
“All that glitters is not gold.” 🌟
(Photo image: blossom in the full of the Moon…by Max Dupain)
“It is my belief that 90 percent of the so-called masters in the modern world are not enlightened at all but are in fact occult magicians. The occult magician will use his or her occult powers to ensnare the devotee in a posture of adoration by feeding them visionary experiences, which may seem to open things up for the devotee but actually keeps one dependent on the guru. It’s a kind of drug pushing as dangerous on the spiritual level as cocaine or heroin is on the physical. Because people don’t know the difference between the divine and the occult, nor how accurately the occult can mimic the divine, nor how easily occult powers can be cultivated by the unscrupulous and ambitious. They take these powers and experiences to be unmistakeable signs of divine presence and go on worshipping as divine these people who have, in fact, shown that they are neither good, nor kind, nor humble, nor generous.”
~Interview with Andrew Harvey, Yoga Journal, July/August 1995 ❦
Along with certain levels of awakening there comes the access to differing levels of occult powers, variously known by such names as black magic, siddis, voodoo etc. These powers are generally known to exist by most cultures around the world…except by those of us in the West!
When aligning yourself with a teacher…no matter how clear they may present themselves…it is always a good precaution to pay attention to the subtler signs of shadow.
In the case with teachers: Nome and Russell Smith of SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA) and Candace O’Denver, aka Candice Rinpoche of Great Freedom/Balanced View in Marin…that shadow took the form of lies and deceptions…of which I became the ‘holder’ for.
Due to the sensitivity of the lies I was holding there were over-arching controls placed on this life to keep this ‘information’ from going public.
What occurred in this life to keep that ‘information’ from surfacing has been variously described as the ‘Soul’s torture chamber’…as akin to being ‘buried alive’…etc.
The controls over this life involved not only physical surveillance but extreme violations involving psychic violations utilizing auric blocks for purposes of relational control and psychic implants for extreme surveillance.
Detecting high-level siddis (occult powers) is almost impossible for human eyes.
If I had one piece of advice for anyone…whether on a spiritual path or not…it would be: “Clear your auric field daily.” 〄
(Photo image ‘Ensnared’…taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland)
