After returning from New York in the Spring of 2019, following the death of my older brother, I felt the urgency of a comment made by Mark Dodich, Astrologer, that I would be moving…again.
I am, now, beginning to feel like a refugee and with each move seeing the savings from the sale of the home in Santa Cruz dwindle down to zero.
Yet…it was also, shortly, after moving to this new place that I slowly settled into the necessity…and the freedom…of telling this story of ‘cosmic betrayal’…a description by Matt Licata.
The evolution of my courage in order to tell the ‘story’– and all the facts-of-that-story — was one that would evolve over the next couple years.
I resolved into the necessary fact that this…this detailing of the corruption not only at SAT but the non-dual awakening community…was going to be my ‘job’…albeit an unpaid job. And while stressful there were also the beginnings of “…the exhilaration of psychological freedom.” -Liz Green resulting from the profound re-opening of a voice, once silenced.
THIS was the Path.
It would be the final closing of a karmic cycle that involved deliberate persecution, silencing and separation.
In 2017 Nishkala Leslie Jennings, one of the first who I recognized as lying to me regarding her knowledge of my former teacher, sent me a text with the following message:
“Well, I sense that for some of us, there may have been some past-life persecution…and that memory in the cells or subtle body held me back in protection mode, for years. I sense that for myself…I cannot prove this…but a subtle sensing this ‘could be.‘ And so then, there’s gentle compassion for the separating tendency. I was told this, inside, for you…in this life.”
As soon as I read this message from Nishkala it resonated deeply. It also matched up with an early Intuitive Astrology reading from Kristin Fontana that the houses and transits placed me at the time of The Christ. There may have been a silencing and persecution at that time that resulted in abuse, death or, even, crucifixion.
When I heard both of these messages they resonated, on a cellular level, as deeply true.
The deep existential betrayal and harm in this lifetime, at the hands of my former teachers, placed me in a suspended state of separation.
Furthermore, this explained Nome’s role in the karmic cycle of keeping me on the ‘outside’…even while acknowledging this devoted heart and communicating via silence.
Over the next 2 ½ years the deep Trust, which had always been the bedrock of my ‘practice,’ was slowly moved from a ‘teacher’ to ‘Spirit’…call that God, Source, Spirit, The Universe or what you will.
I began to teach myself WordPress and how to articulate what had occurred even when much-of-what occurred could not be proven. Nome was absolutely counting on the hidden psychic controls, the complexity of the story and the extensive collusion to keep the truth regarding what happened from ever surfacing..
As my connection with Spirit deepened I began to experience downloads which would be experienced as an influx of Divine Information and Guidance. These downloads were clear and concise. They were, and are, unmistakable. What was coming through was to ‘speak my truth’ and not just ‘my’ truth but the facts-of-the-situation.
In 2019 my Mother and Step-Father pass. The weight of what I have been forced to carry surpassed even the the harshest of times within my own native family.
At the time when my father, Stanley Rice – who was also at SAT – died the Dean of the College I was working at stopped by my desk and sensed the heaviness of my heart.
This Dean assumed the heaviness of my mood was due to the passing of my Father but, unbeknownst to him, the heaviness was due to the very beginning of realizing what I was being forced to carry. I was being forced to carry the karma of others…the lies and deceptions that belonged to my former teachers and, certainly, not to myself…teachers that I had had the deepest devotion to.
The weight of that far surpassed even the weight of the death of my Father.
In February, 2020 I release another video – still without naming-the-names – giving descriptions that might somehow indicate who in the non-dual community was colluding with my former teachers.
The deep, internal threat should I release any of this ‘information’ was still, very much, largely at play and deeply felt in my system.
That internal threat was compounded by the ongoing siddha (occult) controls that I began to feel more-and-more intensely as I started opening up and revealing my story. It was the managing of my field…and that of my family…that became a primary focus as I felt literally stalked by siddis.
The psychic pressure was especially heightened as I became more determined to paint such an accurate picture that the ‘story’ could not, possibly, have been made up.
My audience, those ‘awake’ in the non-dual community, already knew I was telling the truth!! How did I know that? Because it was always clearly evident they were/are lying when they said they never heard of Nome! The level of scapegoating and gaslighting increased — using the very teachings — to shut-down my reporting of this systemic collusion re: abuse and control.
The year of 2020 marked the beginning of Covid.
My son is prevented from returning to Columbia due to the border closing and is forced to spend a year in Peru. The concern over my daughter and son…and their safety…adds to the existential angst felt at this time. (There is MUCH here I cannot report about on any public platform.)
In April of 2021 I produce Video #9 where I finally name-the-names of my former teachers and, then slowly, as I realized how systemic the collusion was/is, the names of other teachers such as Adyashanti.
With each consecutive release of the ‘information’ there is a greater-and-deeper connection with Spirit.
I am emboldened by the Dalai Llama who, upon hearing of abuse (primarily sexual abuse) in Buddhist ranks…slams his hand down on the table and emphatically says “Name-the-names!!”
In Video #10, released on November 11, 2021…I begin the process of documenting the extent of systemic collusion occurring in the non-dual community with regard to my former teachers.
The description for Video #10:
I talk of the lies, deceptions and systemic complicity in the greater non-dual community in their covering for the existential controls over this life, and the lives of my family at the hands of my former teachers (Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver, aka Candice Rinpoche, aka Ziji Rinpoche).
The complicity around the ‘information’ I’ve had to hold (under threat) includes not only such well-known teachers as Adyashanti and Gangaji but many of the teachers, not only affiliated with those two teachers, but many currently acting teachers in the non-dual space.
Teachers and/or ‘friends’ who directly knew about the deceptions of Nome at SAT (Society of Abidance in Truth) in Santa Cruz, CA and Russell Smith (who later went to Candace O’Denver’s (aka Candice Rinpoche) Great Freedom/Balanced View in a capacity unknown by me but most certainly included the ‘development’ of a Dzogchen-like teaching which he shared with me in a taped session) include: Adyashanti, Gangaji, Stephan Bodian, Jeff Foster, Leonard Jacobson, Rupert Spira, Bentinho Massaro, Ramana Spencer, Michael Harrington, Steven Walters, Colleen Loehr, Vicki Woodyard, Kristy Thompson, Kiran Trace, Susanne Marie, Jon Bernie, Nishkala Leslie Jenney, Rosemary Ferrara Cochran, Aile Shebar, John Astin, John Wheeler, Eliot Weber, Prajna Ginty (now known as Prajna O’Hara), Jeannie Zandi, Marlies Cocheret, Sonya Amrita Bibilos, Mary Winslow and Peter Hanson, Marilyn Madden (longtime family friend of Adya), Prema Akasha (now Maja Apolonia Rodé), Karen Richards and many, many others . (This list only includes only some who I know or had contact with.)
Ultimately…if one is awake, they know of these teachers and of the existential harm that occurred here.
There were also some who may have actually been paid by SAT to ensure my silence… such as Bentinho, Michael Harrington, Steven Walters, Kristy Thompson, Kiran Trace and Bob Haber…and possibly others.
There are, most certainly, many others in the non-dual space who absolutely were, and are, covering for my former teachers.
It is the insularity of this ‘community’ that not only hides and covers for abuse and harm but, then, has the audacity to present programs on how to deal with that trauma.
Deep gratitude for you interest in the Integrity of Truth Teachings. Truth matters. ❦
Please direct any questions to: Leslie@leslieread
