The Lying Effect

In just about every layer of society we see the dramatic effects of lying.

This, of course, is not new.

The actual effect-of-lies has been recorded in all arenas and levels of society: personal, political, economic and religious history throughout millennia.

From the devastating lies of the Nazi era, to the very public accounts of Watergate and Bill Clinton’s trysts with Monica Lewinsky, to the deliberately hidden dangers of tobacco smoking and of monetized pharmaceuticals to the so-called sciences and the halls-of-The Vatican.

…and currently, the most famous, on-going deception of the ‘big lie’ of a ‘stolen election’…which could, ultimately be the end of Democracy.

The one arena I would have thought would have been free of such a scourge of deception would have been in the teachings of non-duality…and their teachers and organizations.

I was gravely wrong.

The lies were with regard to how the brothers relayed their relationship with each other and their reasons behind splitting up their teachings. The story painted was one of an animosity…a supposed ‘disdain’ they took all the way to the legal courts in Santa Cruz. They painted quite the picture. If anyone has ever witnessed Nome and Russell in a Satsang this ruse would be evident.

While these deceptions originated with my former teachers Nome and Russell Smith at SAT in Santa Cruz, CA the lies were greatly supported by Candace O’Denver (who was, then forming Great Freedom with Russell Smith) and to Adyashanti and Gangaji …and many in their close circles at Open Gate.

To the best of my ability the ‘purpose’ (if one can say there is a purpose to lying) of these lies was to ‘wake up as many people as possible’ (This was a standard excuse in the non-dual community) and to form what would, then, become the bulk of the non-dual community.

In the roll-out of these lies their falsity was utterly obvious.

If anyone had ever seen Nome and Russell in a Satsang the love between the two is apparent.

Yet…I gave the lies a ‘pass’ as I bought into the notion that it was for the ‘benefit of all.’

“When we presume to lie for the benefit of others, we have decided that we are the best judges of how much they should understand about their own lives—about how they appear, their reputations, or their prospects in the world.”
~Sam Harris, Lying

There came a time when the lies at SAT were so prevalent that, at one Satsang, I wondered how-on-earth these brothers could keep track of all their lies.

In all honesty, and not through an arrogance, I found it hard to understand how everyone was buying into the deceptive narratives that were being espoused by Nome and Russell. I expressed this shock to my friend Karin who would travel from Norway several times a year…who I felt might have been open to hearing of these lies…but she resisted hearing it.

The Guru-can-do-no-harm was, and is, a deeply held spiritual concept.

Ultimately, and solely because of seeing through the lies, I was asked to leave SAT.

This was after 20 years of devoted dedication in which 3-generations of my family were involved.

In order to preserve the ‘integrity’ of the lies  Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, and Adyashanti foisted their own karma on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family…to ensure their lies would never become public knowledge. The absolute protection of these lies was further secured by silencing, under threat, and isolating me. The complicated controls were further bolstered by Nome’s use of siddis (occult powers) which, ultimately, made certain that it would be impossible to report on as the occult is nigh unproveable.

Nome was certainly counting on the complexity of this story, the hidden nature and the air-tight complicity of the non-dual community.

While all of this sounds like the description of a paranoid person (which is understood) the main audience I am addressing are the non-dual teachers who not only partook of this scheme but who, later, were/are involved in the collusion, complicity and, ultimately, the lies.

Those teachers cover a very large swath in the non-dual community.

Those teachers know I’m telling the truth.

The following is a letter to the ‘Association for Spiritual Integrity’ (ASI) who were also part of covering for this web of deception…basically a smokescreen for accountability: https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0

The dramatic effects of those lies?

In the prophetic words of Aile Shebar what occurred in this life was akin to being ‘buried alive.’

That is an accurate description.

The internal threat at being silenced shook my entire system to the core after which I could only communicate via emojis for several years following that existential shock. The taking of one’s voice, the use of over-speak when speaking with those who are actively covering for these teachers, and the dark methods for control…were only part of the very real taking-of-a-life.

Another accurate description was that of a ‘Soul murder.’

The following movies accurately depict the actual feeling of what it was like to be silenced, under deep internal threat, for a decade: Diving Bell and the Butterfly, The Lives of Others and Ondine.

Because the potential of this voice could cause harm to several multi-million-dollar organizations and teachers, the threat to silence me, of necessity, had to be significant.

Effectively this life was taken…

While this example of the effect…and spread…of lies is truly extreme it is, none-the-less, accurate as to the utter devastation caused by lying.

Thank you for witnessing a return to my voice…❦

Warmly,

-Leslie@ integrityintruth.com

Embodied Integration is the Birthplace of Integrity

“What we do to one, we do to the entire Web of Life.” ~Chief Seattle
(Chief of the Duwamish and Suquamish tribes)

What is integration? 

For those who say “I’m not the doer” and “nothing ever happens”…integration, paradoxically, means to ‘own your actions.’

Owning one’s actions is the beginning of on-going integration…and integrity. Without integrity (any) awakening is meaningless.

Four years-ago I began reporting on the lies I had been forced (under threat) to hold for non-dual teachers: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (who goes by a variety of aliases).

What were the lies?

The lies were in regard to the ‘supposed split’ of the teachings of the brothers Nome and Russell Smith and their formative connection with Candace O’Denver’s Great Freedom/Balanced View.

The supposed split (of the brothers) was a ruse.

When I returned to SAT (after being asked to leave ‘The Way of Sudden Awakening’) upon entering the SAT Satsang Hall there was Russell sitting on the dias next to Nome, looking sheepishly at me as I entered the hall. After that Sunday, Russell left and did not return during the remainder of my stay at SAT.

The deceptions of the purported animosity between the brothers…in order to convincingly ‘paint the picture’…was a deliberate ruse that was even taken into the Santa Cruz County court system.

These lies occurred in tandem with the coupling/marriage of teachers (primarily Nome and Sasvati, aka Judy Gilden) and their own projected fear that jealousy may ensue.

I (and by relation, my family) became the inadvertent ‘holder’ for the deceptive secrets of these teachers.

Because of that those teachers felt compelled to completely tear this life apart for the sole purpose of ensuring that their lies would never become public knowledge.

I (and by relation, my family) became the inadvertent ‘holder’ for their deceptive secrets. Because of that those teachers felt compelled to completely tear this life apart for the air-tight purpose of ensuring that their lies would never become public knowledge. So…I am forced (under threat) to hold the lies belonging solely to these teachers and for an un-embodied teaching I do not even believe in! Yes, non-duality is a ‘truth’ but without integrity it is (also) moot.

The systemic cover for these teachers/situation… occurring over this past decade+…includes many in ‘leadership’ and teaching roles in the ND spiritual community. This includes several far-reaching non-dual organizations such as SAND, BatGap and ASI.

Matt Licata succinctly described this situation as a ‘cosmic betrayal.’

It has not only been a process of my own unfolding and understanding but of a growing revelation as to the extent of complicity and collusion in what has become known as the “non-dual” community.

The dark underpinnings of control, corruption and collusion as they exist in the non-dual space are clearly evident as they played out in this complex dynamic, involving un-provable siddis (occult powers), that is, unless one uses names and photos painting a clear narrative that would be nigh impossible to fabricate.

As a loyal and devoted seeker I was the recipient of (way) more than my fair share of the ‘beneficial’ aspect of occult powers.

Having been the one who “fell between the cracks” (exact words of Russell Smith in a taped session) the burden for the lies of those teachers fell squarely…and solely…on these shoulders…and hence the literal waterfall of psychic control to ensure their lies would never become public knowledge.

Whether beneficial OR malevolent: both aspects of occult control look to remove the inherent sovereignty that is each-of-our birthright.

Portending that level of control were Nome’s own words from the early years:

“Just look at who it is you’re up against.”

Those words, alone, demonstrated Nome’s dedication to power over others.

It is no wonder there was such extreme existential control over this life.

The most notable alliance to Nome, et al, in the suppression of this story was/is the key support of Adyashanti (and the many involved in Open Gate) during the entire time. https://integrityintruth.com/bentinho-and-the-adya-connection/

It becomes my duty…if not Soul Mission…to bring light to this type of occult control and existential manipulation.

Unfortunately, I feel uniquely qualified to disclose where there has been…and continues to be…harm existing under the shroud of spiritual control.

 Fortunately, this marks the end of a karmic SoulCycle of having been silenced at the hands of spiritual teachers for being the holder of deceptive secrets.

This may not have been something I would have chosen.

There are times when Life chooses us for a particular job.

For this devotee to be speaking out so publicly the actions of the above-mentioned teachers would have had to be so extremely violative on the existential level.

Owning one’s actions is the beginning of on-going integration…and integrity.

Thank you for your interest in this story.

Feel free to e-mail me with any questions at: Leslie@IntegrityInTruth.com

An apt quote by Jeff Brown, author of numerous books including “Grounded Spirituality.”

Dangers of the Un-Embodied Teacher

The Heart shrouded in ‘spiritual’ concepts

Teachers who have no relationship with their emotions…or who consider emotions (and the body, thoughts and world) as ‘unreal…have a tendency to control and restrict others based on fear. 

This unprocessed emotional content is a real danger when it appears in an unbalanced teacher who may have realized wholeness yet is a veritable holding ground for unresolved emotional expression…in other words an un-embodied teacher.

https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/

(When the emotional Heart is covered, fear can easily take control over others. Image taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland)

The Colluding Role of Adyashanti and Open-Gate

A Deep Burn in what (only) appears to be Truth

The following was in conversation with a FB friend and currently acting teacher regarding Adyashanti’s knowledge… and cover…for Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver:

I begin with a ‘bit’ of clarification regarding Kiran’s ‘honesty’….

While, I appreciated the feminine aspect of authenticity that Kiran Trace deJaray brought to the teachings there was, also, an obvious dishonesty regarding the reason and purpose of the time she spent with me.

She was not the only one in such a position.

Kiran was one of several who had been sent to spend time with me. This may have even been a paid job as it was with the following:

-Michael Harrington 

-Steven Walters

-Marilyn Madden

-Kiran Trace

All 4 have very close ties with Adyashanti. 

Those four (and, later, Prajna Ginty and Kristy Thompson) spent inordinate amounts of time with me. 

https://integrityintruth.com/the-primary-collusive-support-of-adyashanti/

Marilyn Madden invited me to gatherings at Prema Akasha’s (she was then the “Creative Director” for Open Gate and who, now, goes by Maja Apolonia Rode) where Bentinho, Michael Harrington, Benjamin Smythe (who had his knowledge of my situation written all over his face…as did Rupert Spira during the 2 Satsangs of his that I attended in 2013 with Nishkala Leslie Jennings (who, also, was sent!!), etc would gather. 

Being from the highly air-tight and insular SAT (Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA), at the time I knew none of these people.

Some have gone to great lengths to protect Adya’s brand…for obvious reasons. 

Yet, from Adya’s talks, in Santa Cruz,  the cover for Nome was apparent. 

Even mentioning such a connection of Adya’s ties with Nome to Sonya Amrita Bibilos, Marilyn Madden, John Thomas and others draws extreme reactions and, in the case of Marilyn, gaslighting that is over-the-top.

The reactions of those three tell a lot…yet SAT and Open Gate were always revolving doors.

https://integrityintruth.com/on-the-importance-of-integrity/

Mary Winslow, who was very close to my kids and who eventually left for Open Gate, wore her distress about this situation all over her face. I ran into Mary and Peter outside the Nickelodeon theater in Santa Cruz where we had just (appropriately) seen ‘Diving Bell and The Butterfly”…a movie which amazingly described being physically silenced after a car accident resulting in complete paralysis with the exception of being able to blink one eye.

I was in shock from that movie as it was the very beginning of feeling my life had literally been taken.

While much of this is sensitivity and intuition there were also clairvoyant messages, particularly of other teachers tied to Nome. I didn’t know, at the time, what clairvoyance even was/is…but thoughts/feelings of others (some whom I had never met) would come streaming in.

Why am I reporting on this? 

for myself, for Stan (my father), for Em and Ty (my daughter and son), for my two grandkids (the youngest of whom would not recognize me), for those who have also been harmed by these teachers…and, ultimately, for the Truth. 

Gratitude to one who had the courage to say it ‘out loud’:

“…everyone plays dumb to maintain a whitewashed narrative — at your expense …(and) is lying about the same thing…”

Honesty and integrity are values that I will not compromise on.

The extent of these deceptions is steep…and it is systemic.

❦ Feel free to contact me at with any questions: leslie@integrityintruth.com

Photo: A Deep Burn in what (only) appears to be Truth…taken with an iPhone 13 in NW Portland. 🪐⚖️🙏❤️

On the Importance of Integrity

It takes humility to admit one’s mistakes.

Yes…in our Humanity there are mistakes…there are victims…there are ‘stories’ that need to be told…especially when there has been existential harm at the hands of spiritual teachers.

“It’s more important to be in integrity than to be ‘enlightened’.” -Adyashanti

I agree with this statement. Yet, if Adya really felt this way he would have refused to participate in the non-dual community-wide collusion and cover-up for the lies of: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (who goes by numerous, evasive, aliases).

Instead, in answer to a question of mine at one of his Santa Cruz talks, he indicated for me to actually return to SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth).

That, of course, was an impossibility.

Yet…Adya was not the only one involved in this collusion. I am not reporting on his words to single him out as this breach-in-integrity was/is systemic-wide throughout the non-dual community.

However, he and Gangaji were two of the more well-known and respected teachers to participate in this pressure-campaign to ensure my silence regarding how/why the teachings of Nome and Russ were supposedly split up.

This was systemic collusion that placed the entirety of the burden for those lies to fall squarely – and solely – on my shoulders.

Please refer to: https://integrityintruth.com/bentinho-and-the-adya-connection%ef%bf%bc/ and https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/ and https://integrityintruth.com/adya-and-gangaji/

In order to ensure ‘Integrity’ in the non-dual space…when (all) the acting teachers already know about these lies where is the problem with bringing this out in the open?

Is it truly ‘wise’ to perpetuate deceptions?

Thank you for following this blog and this ‘story.’ ❧

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me at: leslie@integrityintruth.com

Photo: Adyashanti…courtesy Bing Photos.

The Out-of-Balance Dynamic of Control

It goes against every grain of our very nature as free and sovereign Beings to willingly be controlled and oppressed by any authoritarian figure…inclusive of authoritarian Gurus and teachers the spiritual arena.

“Authoritarian figures are everywhere, some of them in sheep’s clothing.”
This is, sadly, truer-than-true. Furthermore, there are many who are willing to collude with those who look to control others.

That said…things are happening in ‘real time’ these days so wherever there is someone’s sociopathic need to control…it will be met with the *exact measure* exposing that out-of-balance dynamic. If you have landed on this blog please refer to the section of this website titled “Clarification of the Videos” (and the drop-down menu) for the much fuller description of collusion and coercion in the non-dual community.

https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/

(Opening sunflower in honor of Ukraine’s full autonomy taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland)

What Would a Conscious Person/Community do…

…once there has been harm?

Would they cover it up? 

By now, many of who have followed this blog…and the published videos…know of the ‘information’ I’ve been forced to hold (under threat) for a decade…for the lies of certain spiritual teachers: Nome and Russell Smith of SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA) and Candace O’Denver, aka Candice Rinpoche of Great Freedom/Balanced View in Marin, CA.

Not only have my former teachers gone to the extent they have individually but they have also called upon the greater non-dual community…inclusive of many currently acting teachers…to join them in a system-wide cover-up.…all for the sole-purpose of keeping this ‘information’ from becoming public knowledge.

Much of my interaction within this community has involved being lied directly to…lies which I’ve been aware of for the entirety of this past decade. 

As long as I was willing to go along with those lies…betray myself and my voice…betray my family…and, essentially, betray Truth teachings, I was accepted and ‘loved’ in the online non-dual community.  The coercion to continue to hold those lies was/is very real.

As someone, with long-standing ties to SAT told me recently:  “…everyone plays dumb to maintain a whitewashed narrative — at your expense …(and) is lying about the same thing…”

It is this cultish support for lies…just as we are seeing in the greater body politic…that will ultimately surface.

The rallying around a cult-leader(s) in order to uphold lies is no different in these ‘high’-level spiritual teachings than is playing out on the collective/political scene.

They are the same exact dynamic.

*On all accounts it is authoritarian — and ultimately controlling — in nature.*

At what expense (our natural) awakening?

In 2018 I left the town of Santa Cruz to move to Portland in order to escape the over-arching controls over this life and the surveillance of my homes.

That move was not without consequences…some of which I cannot discuss on a public thread but which, overall, proved to be fraught with an enormous amount of psychic/occult pushback and control. 

It is no exaggeration that in the years since 2018 I have literally been stalked by high-level occult powers (siddis)…the intimidation of which was/is very real. 

My question to the non-dual community…and all awakening communities is: “What would you do once there has been harm?”

“If a man is a Jnani, he cannot utter a lie.”

– Ramana Maharshi

Thank you, always, for listening,

-Leslie Read

YouTube: Leslie Read

‘Information’ I Held: Video #10

(Blog post photo image: Frosted black grass…taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland)

When High-Level Light meets with High-Level Shadow…

It is said that eclipses serve as catalysts for timely change. This is being written a few days before the full moon lunar eclipse in Gemini on Nov. 30, 2020 which will be followed a couple weeks later by a total solar eclipse in Sagittarius, two weeks later, on December 14. Additionally Neptune…the planetary karmic revealer is stationing direct on November 28th. More and more I am amazed at the accuracy of these planetary reflections and energetics.

In this life I have, never before, felt such a dramatic change of direction…not intention…but a radical change of direction. What I had once considered so perfectly beautiful, and true…and had, certainly, been so devoted to…now had the makings of the worst possible nightmare. As a ‘holder of information’ for high-level spiritual teachers, that nightmare has been variously described, by those who know the situation, as a ‘Soul’s torture chamber’…akin to being ‘buried alive’ and a ‘cosmic betrayal.’ 

Those are accurate descriptions and not-at-all exaggerated.

While this situation does not include the typical breaches of integrity commonly known as sexual manipulations (and is, most certainly, not making light of such) this particular situation is far more pervasive, insidious, systemic and dis-turbing (of Integrity) in its use of over-arching lies, deceptions, and cronyism involving cover-up, collusion, coercion and the extreme misuse of high-level siddhas (occult powers) over this life and the lives of my family.

These breaches have…and are…demanding extensive cover-up throughout the spiritual community…inclusive of other high-level contemporary teachers and certainly many in the general awakening community. 

The ‘information’ I hold is in regards to the supposed separation of the teachings of Nome and Russell Smith of SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA) and Candace O’Denver, aka Candice Rinpoche of Great Freedom/Balanced View in Marin, CA. The burden for the lies regarding that supposed separation fell  squarely on my shoulders…for a decade, plus

In the (exact) words of Russell Smith, in private session many years ago: “You will fall through the cracks.” 

I had no idea what he was talking about at the time. That fact of falling ‘through the cracks’ and that it was ‘not intentional to me’…were the exact words of Paul Selig’s Guides!

I knew this was not ‘intentional to me.’ There was always enormous dedication, not only student-to-teacher but teacher-to-student. 

Yet…this breach, requiring enormous manipulation and suffocating control to keep it under wraps, would have never have happened without all the lying.

The lying, deflection and gas-lighting in the spiritual community regarding their knowledge of these teachers and of the situation I found myself in is systemic. This website exposes only a partial reveal of the reasons for my reporting on such over-arching corruption, coercion and collusion in the non-dual community regarding this ‘information.’ 

The teachers involved are high-level teachers with a certain ‘standard of gold’ teaching…and reputation.

That ‘gold-standard’ is the high-level Light.

Yet…there were lies and deceptions meant to control and manipulate seekers…some very long and devoted seekers who had given extensively, not only, of their dedication to Truth but of their time, labor and money.

The steps (occult and otherwise) taken by the main teachers to cover for their extensive and highly-coordinated lies and deceptions constitutes the high-level shadow. 

This included not only high-level shadow of advanced siddhas (occult powers) in the form of ‘auric blocks’ (for control) and ‘psychic implants’ (for surveillance) utilized for top-to-bottom control by the main teacher, Nome, but shadow in the form of collusion throughout, primarily, the patriarchal Non-dual spiritual community. 

This collusion included patriarchal teachers in the non-dual community as well as women non-dual teachers involved in a type of ‘false sisterhood’ based on shadow feminine energies left over from loyalty to certain patriarchy. This loyalty involved the same collusion, coercion and widespread gaslighting.

It is imperative that seekers are aware of the potential for such occult control, manipulation and extreme misuse (indeed, any misuse) of siddhas….even, and perhaps most especially, when everything seems to be pointing to high clarity and Light. 

“All that glitters is not gold.” 🌟

(Photo image: blossom in the full of the Moon…by Max Dupain)