The Rush to Transcendence…

About a decade+ into intense practice at SAT…and coming fresh off a retreat…I was going down-the-stairs to the basement dungeon where I packaged up book orders. I was beyond worried with how-on-earth I was going to do all the tasks that kept piling up. 

I was SO worried by the time I got down the stairs that I truly felt I would have a heart attack. 

Right then-and-there, I concentrated on the task in front of me and I instantly expanded out as pure Space…out to Pluto (and beyond) and became omni-present…I was the rock outside-the-door etc.

Shortly thereafter Nome calls the bookstore desk-phone and says “See? That wasn’t so hard!”

Unfortunately the story went downhill thereafter and I was segregated-out (via ‘character assassination’) for knowing too much about the brothers…until, ultimately, I had to be asked to leave lest the Indians catch wind of what the brothers had done by way of concocting a very elaborate story. (In the ensuing decade+ this life would see every.single.aspect destroyed, controlled and monitored to ensure this non-dual fast-track would not be interrupted.)

Shortly before leaving SAT for good, after a Sunday Satsang and during the final mediation, that glimpse of space was experienced again…this time through a simple and naturally focused attention. Nome immediately looked at me as though I was, somehow, supposed to ‘grab’ that state and plunge into enlightenment! 

My feeling, in the moment, was that it felt as though all the teachers were on some kind of “race-to-the-finish-line’ and that they would do anything to ensure people “wake up.” 

Nome was greatly influenced by Osho/Rajneesh and, in many of the less-sordid ways, patterned SAT after Osho’s teaching and organization. 


David Solomon who was with Osho in Pune and Eastern Oregon and later had a close connection with UG Krishnamurti, talked about Osho’s Rajneeshpuram “experiment to provoke God” in a similar vein:

“I believe (Gurdjieffian) devices were used by him to possibly awaken a few at the expense of the many. About that I’ve been very vocal myself. Real crimes against humanity were committed in an effort to bring about “the New Man.” No bueno.” (Emphasis added).

As with everything hidden, we are now seeing some of the more sordid aspects emerge with the now-grown children who were victims of neglect and sexual abuse during Rajneesh puram times finally speak out.

The salient and prophetic words of Ken Wilber here are very apt:

“Unless you are on a path that includes not only ‘waking up’…but ’growing-up’ AND ‘cleaning-up’…all 3-in-one package…you are going to get f**ked!! You WILL end up in a bad, bad way because one of these is going to go sour. That is THE major, unfortunate, path that the majority of people end up taking… and they end up wasting a life.” Samadhi does not, of course, address (ANY) shadow elements…in some cases it makes it *worse* as there is pure dis-identification.”

⚛️ The Existential Dangers of Pure Dis-Identification: https://integrityintruth.com/the-existential-dangers-of-pure-dis-identification/

No doubt what has occurred in this life is arguably one of more horrific and existentially harmful examples of the harm that can occur when non-dual teachers have not done their own internal work. While this situation does not include the typical breaches of integrity commonly known as sexual manipulations (and is, most certainly, not making light of such) this particular situation is far more pervasive, insidious, systemic and disturbing (of Integrity) in its use of over-arching lies, deceptions, cronyism involving collusion and coercion and the extreme misuse of high-level siddis (occult powers).

This is, sadly, the case before adequate inner work.

The rush to transcendence…

The following is an example (albeit extreme) of what can happen when teachers do not acknowledge and confront their own shadow(s):

⚛️ The ‘Compression Years’…of deliberate isolation and silencing (under threat)…in which Adyashanti played a key role: https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/

⚛️ Coffee Lane and the many engaging in sweeping deception: https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/coffee-lane-and-the-two-years-prior-to-moving-to-portland-december-2015-july-2018-%e2%9c%be/

⚛️ The systemic deception and collusion within the non-dual community: https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the…/

⚛️ The systemic deception and collusion within the non-dual community: https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the…/

⚛️ Paul Selig’s message that this ‘was not intentional to me’ yet the existential controls were most definitely intentional to me…and my family: https://integrityintruth.com/clarif…/the-move-to-portland/

⚛️ Letter to the ASI (Association for Spiritual ‘Integrity’): https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0&e=1&fbclid=IwAR2hNCDCiHgzRQrXqce9WFFH5vgHGHoGlda3PUlGKT2n1qMuoFfoMadMbvs

Thank you for following my work. ❦

If you have any questions or comments please feel free to email me at: Leslie@integrityintruth.com

Cult Behavior in the Non-Dual Sphere…and the Sweeping Dynamic of Control and Betrayal

When Nome and Russell Smith of SAT (Society of Abidance in Truth) decided to split their teachings…and remove those who might be jealous of the pending marriage of Nome…Russ was working with Candace O’Denver to establish the relatively new Great Freedom…later known as Balanced View.

All three — Nome, Russ and Candace —  knew that I had “fallen through the cracks” — the words of Russell from a taped private session.

Over the years, as my understanding of the actual scope of deception and collusion in the non-dual space deepened…along with the courage of a newly opened expression….I began to openly talk of exactly how widespread this collusion was.  Essentially, I had nothing left to loose.

There was a very big reason why Nome chose to silence me (under threat), why he chose to use an ‘auric block’ for extreme relational isolation and a ‘psychic implant’ for extreme, existential surveillance AND, ultimately, why he chose to enlist the complicity of those in the non-dual space to join him in covering for his lies.

For, ultimately, IF I spoke-up the entire non-dual house-of-cards regarding the dogmatic ‘unreality-of-the-world’…and numerous other extreme spiritual concepts (known as radical non-duality)…would collapse.

It is this aspect of control that comprises THE primary ingredient of cults. 

In many ways…even so-called “liberating” teachings exhibit truly organized cult behavior on a large scale. In the words of Facebook Friend David Bingham (himself a teacher): 

“I would like to add that in this modern age the Neo-Advaitan tradition of the truth existing ultimately in the sphere of the non-dual (which is followed by so many,  with so many esteemed teachers ) is a deeply flawed model of understanding of the nature of the human condition and its relationship with the Infinite.  

It is a form of understanding which has an in-built tendency to deeply exacerbate illusions concerning the experiences of life and in turn to generate rigidities around its interpretation. In doing so it has great potential to be harmful to the fundamental well-being of its adherents, all the more so because it dresses itself in the clothes of liberation. It is a false and incomplete freedom of the age.”

David is a rare voice of Brilliance in the non-dual world.

Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, and a handful of others formed the basic skeletal structure, as we know it, of non-duality in the US…out of which branched such supportive services as SAND, BatGap, ASI etc…all very protective of keeping this particular ‘story’ of what happened in this life…and the protection of their deceptions…under wraps. 

The following links show the progression of my understanding of the sweeping scope of this collusion:

The ‘Compression Years’…of isolation and silencing (under threat)…existential control in which Adyashanti played a key role: https://integrityintruth.com/…/the-compression-years…/

The many engaging in sweeping deception: https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/coffee-lane-and-the-two-years-prior-to-moving-to-portland-december-2015-july-2018-%e2%9c%be/

The systemic deception within the non-dual community: https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the-non-dual-field/

Paul Selig’s message that this ‘was not intentional to me’ yet the existential controls were most definitely intentional to me: https://integrityintruth.com/clarif…/the-move-to-portland/

Adya’s role: https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the-non-dual-field/

The original letter to the ASI (Association for Spiritual Integrity): https://www.dropbox.com/…/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23…

Thank you ❣️ for your interest in this story. If you have any questions please email me at: Leslie@leslieread

The Lying Effect

In just about every layer of society we see the dramatic effects of lying.

This, of course, is not new.

The actual effect-of-lies has been recorded in all arenas and levels of society: personal, political, economic and religious history throughout millennia.

From the devastating lies of the Nazi era, to the very public accounts of Watergate and Bill Clinton’s trysts with Monica Lewinsky, to the deliberately hidden dangers of tobacco smoking and of monetized pharmaceuticals to the so-called sciences and the halls-of-The Vatican.

…and currently, the most famous, on-going deception of the ‘big lie’ of a ‘stolen election’…which could, ultimately be the end of Democracy.

The one arena I would have thought would have been free of such a scourge of deception would have been in the teachings of non-duality…and their teachers and organizations.

I was gravely wrong.

The lies were with regard to how the brothers relayed their relationship with each other and their reasons behind splitting up their teachings. The story painted was one of an animosity…a supposed ‘disdain’ they took all the way to the legal courts in Santa Cruz. They painted quite the picture. If anyone has ever witnessed Nome and Russell in a Satsang this ruse would be evident.

While these deceptions originated with my former teachers Nome and Russell Smith at SAT in Santa Cruz, CA the lies were greatly supported by Candace O’Denver (who was, then forming Great Freedom with Russell Smith) and to Adyashanti and Gangaji …and many in their close circles at Open Gate.

To the best of my ability the ‘purpose’ (if one can say there is a purpose to lying) of these lies was to ‘wake up as many people as possible’ (This was a standard excuse in the non-dual community) and to form what would, then, become the bulk of the non-dual community.

In the roll-out of these lies their falsity was utterly obvious.

If anyone had ever seen Nome and Russell in a Satsang the love between the two is apparent.

Yet…I gave the lies a ‘pass’ as I bought into the notion that it was for the ‘benefit of all.’

“When we presume to lie for the benefit of others, we have decided that we are the best judges of how much they should understand about their own lives—about how they appear, their reputations, or their prospects in the world.”
~Sam Harris, Lying

There came a time when the lies at SAT were so prevalent that, at one Satsang, I wondered how-on-earth these brothers could keep track of all their lies.

In all honesty, and not through an arrogance, I found it hard to understand how everyone was buying into the deceptive narratives that were being espoused by Nome and Russell. I expressed this shock to my friend Karin who would travel from Norway several times a year…who I felt might have been open to hearing of these lies…but she resisted hearing it.

The Guru-can-do-no-harm was, and is, a deeply held spiritual concept.

Ultimately, and solely because of seeing through the lies, I was asked to leave SAT.

This was after 20 years of devoted dedication in which 3-generations of my family were involved.

In order to preserve the ‘integrity’ of the lies  Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, and Adyashanti foisted their own karma on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family…to ensure their lies would never become public knowledge. The absolute protection of these lies was further secured by silencing, under threat, and isolating me. The complicated controls were further bolstered by Nome’s use of siddis (occult powers) which, ultimately, made certain that it would be impossible to report on as the occult is nigh unproveable.

Nome was certainly counting on the complexity of this story, the hidden nature and the air-tight complicity of the non-dual community.

While all of this sounds like the description of a paranoid person (which is understood) the main audience I am addressing are the non-dual teachers who not only partook of this scheme but who, later, were/are involved in the collusion, complicity and, ultimately, the lies.

Those teachers cover a very large swath in the non-dual community.

Those teachers know I’m telling the truth.

The following is a letter to the ‘Association for Spiritual Integrity’ (ASI) who were also part of covering for this web of deception…basically a smokescreen for accountability: https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0

The dramatic effects of those lies?

In the prophetic words of Aile Shebar what occurred in this life was akin to being ‘buried alive.’

That is an accurate description.

The internal threat at being silenced shook my entire system to the core after which I could only communicate via emojis for several years following that existential shock. The taking of one’s voice, the use of over-speak when speaking with those who are actively covering for these teachers, and the dark methods for control…were only part of the very real taking-of-a-life.

Another accurate description was that of a ‘Soul murder.’

The following movies accurately depict the actual feeling of what it was like to be silenced, under deep internal threat, for a decade: Diving Bell and the Butterfly, The Lives of Others and Ondine.

Because the potential of this voice could cause harm to several multi-million-dollar organizations and teachers, the threat to silence me, of necessity, had to be significant.

Effectively this life was taken…

While this example of the effect…and spread…of lies is truly extreme it is, none-the-less, accurate as to the utter devastation caused by lying.

Thank you for witnessing a return to my voice…❦

Warmly,

-Leslie@ integrityintruth.com

Cover-for-Harm in the Non-Dual Field

Adyashanti, the ASI (Association of Spiritual ‘Integrity’) and their Collusion to cover for the Existential Controls of Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver…

Adyashanti and Mukti’s ‘Open Gate’

On March 2, 2023  (Admin of) the FaceBook Association for Spiritual Integrity (ASI) Discussion Group posted:

“We are excited to let you all know that the Association for Spiritual Integrity has been invited to present at the Harvard Divinity School Conference….Jac O’Keeffe, Philip Goldberg, and Rick Archer will be leading an interactive workshop on “Lessons from a Young Organization Making a Difference,” about the work of the ASI.”

“Making a difference?!?” Given the hypocrisy of the ASI’s attendance to Harvard Divinity School Conference I wrote the following:

Is this the same Rick Archer and Jac O’Keeffe who I addressed the following letter (dropbox link below) to?

https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0

Instead of saying “How can we help?”…I was told Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (who goes by too numerous aliases to mention) that they were NOT members of the ASI, and therefore the ASI could NOT help me.

Jac O’Keeffe and Lauren Medeiros met with me on Zoom for 30 minutes concluding ONLY that contemporary non-duality is the ‘wild west’ and…

…Rick Archer who, on a private messenger thread with @ 50 others, chided my reporting…and the voice recording at the end of the above letter describing the deliberate existential controls affecting 4-generations of my family…defiantly asked me “How’s that going for ya?” (in reference to my reporting).

This case involving 4-generations of my family is arguably one of the most existentially damaging to a life/lives…not to mention to the integrity of the teachers/teachings.

Are these the SAME PEOPLE who are going to the Harvard Divinity School??

How about a live…and OPEN…meeting with one of the more significant and influential teachers who absolutely participated in the existential controls of Nome/Russ/Candice?

Namely:  ADYASHANTI?

Adya could look me straight-in-my-eyes and tell me, unequivocally, that not only does he know nothing of Nome but he, himself, didn’t have his OWN HANDS directly involved in the ‘Compression Years.’

How about that??

https://integrityintruth.com/bentinho-and-the-adya-connection/

https://integrityintruth.com/the-primary-collusive-support-of-adyashanti/

https://integrityintruth.com/gangaji-and-her-support-of-the-deceptions/

https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/

https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-dogma-of-patriarchal-control/

Truth & Integrity contain non-duality but non-duality, most definitely, does not guarantee truth nor integrity.

-Leslie Read

www.integrityintruth.com

P.S.…As of March 24, 2023 the above message was removed by an admin on the FaceBook ASI Community page

Embodied Integration is the Birthplace of Integrity

“What we do to one, we do to the entire Web of Life.” ~Chief Seattle
(Chief of the Duwamish and Suquamish tribes)

What is integration? 

For those who say “I’m not the doer” and “nothing ever happens”…integration, paradoxically, means to ‘own your actions.’

Owning one’s actions is the beginning of on-going integration…and integrity. Without integrity (any) awakening is meaningless.

Four years-ago I began reporting on the lies I had been forced (under threat) to hold for non-dual teachers: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (who goes by a variety of aliases).

What were the lies?

The lies were in regard to the ‘supposed split’ of the teachings of the brothers Nome and Russell Smith and their formative connection with Candace O’Denver’s Great Freedom/Balanced View.

The supposed split (of the brothers) was a ruse.

When I returned to SAT (after being asked to leave ‘The Way of Sudden Awakening’) upon entering the SAT Satsang Hall there was Russell sitting on the dias next to Nome, looking sheepishly at me as I entered the hall. After that Sunday, Russell left and did not return during the remainder of my stay at SAT.

The deceptions of the purported animosity between the brothers…in order to convincingly ‘paint the picture’…was a deliberate ruse that was even taken into the Santa Cruz County court system.

These lies occurred in tandem with the coupling/marriage of teachers (primarily Nome and Sasvati, aka Judy Gilden) and their own projected fear that jealousy may ensue.

I (and by relation, my family) became the inadvertent ‘holder’ for the deceptive secrets of these teachers.

Because of that those teachers felt compelled to completely tear this life apart for the sole purpose of ensuring that their lies would never become public knowledge.

I (and by relation, my family) became the inadvertent ‘holder’ for their deceptive secrets. Because of that those teachers felt compelled to completely tear this life apart for the air-tight purpose of ensuring that their lies would never become public knowledge. So…I am forced (under threat) to hold the lies belonging solely to these teachers and for an un-embodied teaching I do not even believe in! Yes, non-duality is a ‘truth’ but without integrity it is (also) moot.

The systemic cover for these teachers/situation… occurring over this past decade+…includes many in ‘leadership’ and teaching roles in the ND spiritual community. This includes several far-reaching non-dual organizations such as SAND, BatGap and ASI.

Matt Licata succinctly described this situation as a ‘cosmic betrayal.’

It has not only been a process of my own unfolding and understanding but of a growing revelation as to the extent of complicity and collusion in what has become known as the “non-dual” community.

The dark underpinnings of control, corruption and collusion as they exist in the non-dual space are clearly evident as they played out in this complex dynamic, involving un-provable siddis (occult powers), that is, unless one uses names and photos painting a clear narrative that would be nigh impossible to fabricate.

As a loyal and devoted seeker I was the recipient of (way) more than my fair share of the ‘beneficial’ aspect of occult powers.

Having been the one who “fell between the cracks” (exact words of Russell Smith in a taped session) the burden for the lies of those teachers fell squarely…and solely…on these shoulders…and hence the literal waterfall of psychic control to ensure their lies would never become public knowledge.

Whether beneficial OR malevolent: both aspects of occult control look to remove the inherent sovereignty that is each-of-our birthright.

Portending that level of control were Nome’s own words from the early years:

“Just look at who it is you’re up against.”

Those words, alone, demonstrated Nome’s dedication to power over others.

It is no wonder there was such extreme existential control over this life.

The most notable alliance to Nome, et al, in the suppression of this story was/is the key support of Adyashanti (and the many involved in Open Gate) during the entire time. https://integrityintruth.com/bentinho-and-the-adya-connection/

It becomes my duty…if not Soul Mission…to bring light to this type of occult control and existential manipulation.

Unfortunately, I feel uniquely qualified to disclose where there has been…and continues to be…harm existing under the shroud of spiritual control.

 Fortunately, this marks the end of a karmic SoulCycle of having been silenced at the hands of spiritual teachers for being the holder of deceptive secrets.

This may not have been something I would have chosen.

There are times when Life chooses us for a particular job.

For this devotee to be speaking out so publicly the actions of the above-mentioned teachers would have had to be so extremely violative on the existential level.

Owning one’s actions is the beginning of on-going integration…and integrity.

Thank you for your interest in this story.

Feel free to e-mail me with any questions at: Leslie@IntegrityInTruth.com

An apt quote by Jeff Brown, author of numerous books including “Grounded Spirituality.”

Denial…The Duality of Non-Duality

The Fall Rose: Sweetness in the ending of a Soul Cycle.

The whole concept of spiritual bypassing is at the heart of non-duality which is the very playbook of victim-blaming and existential denial.

There is very little…if anything…of non-duality that I find Humanly authentic. 

It is one of the common weaknesses of those who lean solely toward the non-dual state to fall into the belief that there is no ego-self at play. 

To (the) Consciousness….the mind seems as if it’s been left behind…it’s non-existent.  

Because Consciousness feels so full and convincing it can lead to all manner of mind distortions about the nature of experience.

As I’ve been calling out the lies and deceptions of certain spiritual teachers there has begun the extreme gaslighting of calling me ‘delusional.’

The energy of the pushback is just what one might see when calling out the hypocrisy of those who are lying.

It’s extreme.

The lies of Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver are no delusion. 

In fact, their lies are well known.

There are many who are covering for these teachers. That, also, is not delusion.

Non-duality is when there is utterly no connection of Human awareness with the consequences of actions.

THAT…is a danger.

Honesty and integrity are values that I cannot compromise on.

(Photo image: The Fall Rose…Sweetness in the Ending of a Soul Cycle. Taken with an iPhone 13 in NW Portland)

Non-Dual Teachers: my view

Lit Poppy taken at night…during ‘The Compression Years’ with an iPhone 5
https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/

The following is in dialogue (March 21, 2022) with Scott Funkhouser (aka Scott Kiloby) and his recent comment to me: “You’ve become anti-teacher.”

My response: 

“You make an important point regarding teachers, in general, and especially those who are currently acting teachers. I am not anti-teacher. I am anti-teachers who lie. I am anti-teachers who take no responsibility for their actions…and who use the very teachings to gaslight those who are reporting on harm.

Most, if not all, of the teachers I have come across in person, including yourself, while they have subtly indicated a level of compassion regarding what I was forced (under threat) to hold for the better part of a decade there has not.been.a.single.acting.teacher who has stepped forth and said they definitively will not support lies, deceptions and a systemic corruption that includes collusion and cover-up involving: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver, aka Ziji Rinpoche…cover-up, the full weight of which has landed squarely…and solely…on these shoulders.

So it’s not that I am ‘anti-teacher’ as much as I am not willing to put the safety of this life…and the lives of my family…at the hands of those who are obviously, if not subtly, lying directly to me.

Anyone who knows me would know that I have always considered a Teacher of integrity to be the most efficacious route to freedom.

I still feel that way.

Yet…point me to one teacher who has not known of my former teachers and of what occurred at their hands.

Just one teacher who has had the integrity to say…‘This is not right.’

Not even teachers who are deeply respected have said anything…which points to a systemic collusion.

As communication with Spirit has gotten clearer and clearer I am of the firm conviction that far too many seekers rely on teachers who are compromised, if for no other reason then for being merely in a body and carrying a certain amount of shadow that those very teachers may not even be aware of.

A subject that is far too extensive to broach on a comment thread.

Nonetheless…thanks for engaging me in this as it is deeply important not only for this life and the lives of my family but for anyone intent on awakening and utilizing any of the various teachers who are currently active.

Much love to you as well Scott…🙏🌷❤️”

(Light of a Night-time Poppy…taken with an iPhone 5 in Santa Cruz, CA)

https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/

The Out-of-Balance Dynamic of Control

It goes against every grain of our very nature as free and sovereign Beings to willingly be controlled and oppressed by any authoritarian figure…inclusive of authoritarian Gurus and teachers the spiritual arena.

“Authoritarian figures are everywhere, some of them in sheep’s clothing.”
This is, sadly, truer-than-true. Furthermore, there are many who are willing to collude with those who look to control others.

That said…things are happening in ‘real time’ these days so wherever there is someone’s sociopathic need to control…it will be met with the *exact measure* exposing that out-of-balance dynamic. If you have landed on this blog please refer to the section of this website titled “Clarification of the Videos” (and the drop-down menu) for the much fuller description of collusion and coercion in the non-dual community.

https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/

(Opening sunflower in honor of Ukraine’s full autonomy taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland)