Tag: complicity

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Embodied Integration is the Birthplace of Integrity

“What we do to one, we do to the entire Web of Life.” ~Chief Seattle
(Chief of the Duwamish and Suquamish tribes)

What is integration? 

For those who say “I’m not the doer” and “nothing ever happens”…integration, paradoxically, means to ‘own your actions.’

Owning one’s actions is the beginning of on-going integration…and integrity. Without integrity (any) awakening is meaningless.

Four years-ago I began reporting on the lies I had been forced (under threat) to hold for non-dual teachers: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (who goes by a variety of aliases).

What were the lies?

The lies were in regard to the ‘supposed split’ of the teachings of the brothers Nome and Russell Smith and their formative connection with Candace O’Denver’s Great Freedom/Balanced View.

The supposed split (of the brothers) was a ruse.

When I returned to SAT (after being asked to leave ‘The Way of Sudden Awakening’) upon entering the SAT Satsang Hall there was Russell sitting on the dias next to Nome, looking sheepishly at me as I entered the hall. After that Sunday, Russell left and did not return during the remainder of my stay at SAT.

The deceptions of the purported animosity between the brothers…in order to convincingly ‘paint the picture’…was a deliberate ruse that was even taken into the Santa Cruz County court system.

These lies occurred in tandem with the coupling/marriage of teachers (primarily Nome and Sasvati, aka Judy Gilden) and their own projected fear that jealousy may ensue.

I (and by relation, my family) became the inadvertent ‘holder’ for the deceptive secrets of these teachers.

Because of that those teachers felt compelled to completely tear this life apart for the sole purpose of ensuring that their lies would never become public knowledge.

I (and by relation, my family) became the inadvertent ‘holder’ for their deceptive secrets. Because of that those teachers felt compelled to completely tear this life apart for the air-tight purpose of ensuring that their lies would never become public knowledge. So…I am forced (under threat) to hold the lies belonging solely to these teachers and for an un-embodied teaching I do not even believe in! Yes, non-duality is a ‘truth’ but without integrity it is (also) moot.

The systemic cover for these teachers/situation… occurring over this past decade+…includes many in ‘leadership’ and teaching roles in the ND spiritual community. This includes several far-reaching non-dual organizations such as SAND, BatGap and ASI.

Matt Licata succinctly described this situation as a ‘cosmic betrayal.’

It has not only been a process of my own unfolding and understanding but of a growing revelation as to the extent of complicity and collusion in what has become known as the “non-dual” community.

The dark underpinnings of control, corruption and collusion as they exist in the non-dual space are clearly evident as they played out in this complex dynamic, involving un-provable siddis (occult powers), that is, unless one uses names and photos painting a clear narrative that would be nigh impossible to fabricate.

As a loyal and devoted seeker I was the recipient of (way) more than my fair share of the ‘beneficial’ aspect of occult powers.

Having been the one who “fell between the cracks” (exact words of Russell Smith in a taped session) the burden for the lies of those teachers fell squarely…and solely…on these shoulders…and hence the literal waterfall of psychic control to ensure their lies would never become public knowledge.

Whether beneficial OR malevolent: both aspects of occult control look to remove the inherent sovereignty that is each-of-our birthright.

Portending that level of control were Nome’s own words from the early years:

“Just look at who it is you’re up against.”

Those words, alone, demonstrated Nome’s dedication to power over others.

It is no wonder there was such extreme existential control over this life.

The most notable alliance to Nome, et al, in the suppression of this story was/is the key support of Adyashanti (and the many involved in Open Gate) during the entire time. https://integrityintruth.com/bentinho-and-the-adya-connection/

It becomes my duty…if not Soul Mission…to bring light to this type of occult control and existential manipulation.

Unfortunately, I feel uniquely qualified to disclose where there has been…and continues to be…harm existing under the shroud of spiritual control.

 Fortunately, this marks the end of a karmic SoulCycle of having been silenced at the hands of spiritual teachers for being the holder of deceptive secrets.

This may not have been something I would have chosen.

There are times when Life chooses us for a particular job.

For this devotee to be speaking out so publicly the actions of the above-mentioned teachers would have had to be so extremely violative on the existential level.

Owning one’s actions is the beginning of on-going integration…and integrity. ❦

Thank you for your interest in this story.

Feel free to e-mail me with any questions at: Leslie@IntegrityInTruth.com ❦

An apt quote by Jeff Brown, author of numerous books including “Grounded Spirituality.”
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The Colluding Role of Adyashanti and Open-Gate

A Deep Burn in what (only) appears to be Truth

The following was in conversation with a FB friend and currently acting teacher regarding Adyashanti’s knowledge… and cover…for Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver:

I begin with a ‘bit’ of clarification regarding Kiran’s ‘honesty’….

While, I appreciated the feminine aspect of authenticity that Kiran Trace deJaray brought to the teachings there was, also, an obvious dishonesty regarding the reason and purpose of the time she spent with me.

She was not the only one in such a position.

Kiran was one of several who had been sent to spend time with me. This may have even been a paid job as it was with the following:

-Michael Harrington 

-Steven Walters

-Marilyn Madden

-Kiran Trace

All 4 have very close ties with Adyashanti. 

Those four (and, later, Prajna Ginty and Kristy Thompson) spent inordinate amounts of time with me. 

https://integrityintruth.com/the-primary-collusive-support-of-adyashanti/

Marilyn Madden invited me to gatherings at Prema Akasha’s (she was then the “Creative Director” for Open Gate and who, now, goes by Maja Apolonia Rode) where Bentinho, Michael Harrington, Benjamin Smythe (who had his knowledge of my situation written all over his face…as did Rupert Spira during the 2 Satsangs of his that I attended in 2013 with Nishkala Leslie Jennings (who, also, was sent!!), etc would gather. 

Being from the highly air-tight and insular SAT (Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA), at the time I knew none of these people.

Some have gone to great lengths to protect Adya’s brand…for obvious reasons. 

Yet, from Adya’s talks, in Santa Cruz,  the cover for Nome was apparent. 

Even mentioning such a connection of Adya’s ties with Nome to Sonya Amrita Bibilos, Marilyn Madden, John Thomas and others draws extreme reactions and, in the case of Marilyn, gaslighting that is over-the-top.

The reactions of those three tell a lot…yet SAT and Open Gate were always revolving doors.

https://integrityintruth.com/on-the-importance-of-integrity/

Mary Winslow, who was very close to my kids and who eventually left for Open Gate, wore her distress about this situation all over her face. I ran into Mary and Peter outside the Nickelodeon theater in Santa Cruz where we had just (appropriately) seen ‘Diving Bell and The Butterfly”…a movie which amazingly described being physically silenced after a car accident resulting in complete paralysis with the exception of being able to blink one eye.

I was in shock from that movie as it was the very beginning of feeling my life had literally been taken.

While much of this is sensitivity and intuition there were also clairvoyant messages, particularly of other teachers tied to Nome. I didn’t know, at the time, what clairvoyance even was/is…but thoughts/feelings of others (some whom I had never met) would come streaming in.

Why am I reporting on this? 

…for myself, for Stan (my father), for Em and Ty (my daughter and son), for my two grandkids (the youngest of whom would not recognize me), for those who have also been harmed by these teachers…and, ultimately, for the Truth. 

Gratitude to one who had the courage to say it ‘out loud’:

“…everyone plays dumb to maintain a whitewashed narrative — at your expense …(and) is lying about the same thing…”

Honesty and integrity are values that I will not compromise on.

The extent of these deceptions is steep…and it is systemic.

❦ Feel free to contact me at with any questions: leslie@integrityintruth.com

Photo: A Deep Burn in what (only) appears to be Truth…taken with an iPhone 13 in NW Portland. 🪐⚖️🙏❤️

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The Silencing Dynamic of Overspeak

Spinning the Energy

In addition to having been silenced (under threat) for a decade, as a ‘sensitive’ I have noticed there are people who engage in the dynamic of ‘over-speak’ for purposes of, essentially, silencing…making it impossible to get a word in edgewise. 

These are some of the very folks who are colluding with and covering for my former teacher in the attempt to keep a ‘story’ — involving existential and deceptive harm — from ever becoming public knowledge.

The first time I noticed this dynamic was in talking to Nome’s wife, Sasvati. It was during the time when a ‘story’ had been passed around about me and, because of that, most were avoiding me.

Character Assassination

I was in the Lotus Room (a waiting room) at SAT and there was no place else to sit…except next to Sasvati on the couch.

Never in the history of SAT — or anywhere else for that matter — have I ever witnessed someone talk so long and with zero time for any participation of a conversation.

It was the first time I ever experienced ‘over-speak’ for purposes of keeping me from getting a word in edgewise.

The next time I noticed this dynamic was in a meeting with Aile Shebar.  Aile was one of the first of my FaceBook friends that I met in person. We met north of Santa Cruz for lunch and a walk at the home of her uncle.  

At this lunch there was, once again, this incessant monologue in which there was very little, if any, room for participation. 

Again, on a Tuscan walking tour with David Whyte. (It should be noted that Aile was hugely encouraging of this trip on which there were also other dynamics at play that had Nome’s signature.) We had met up with a very special gathering to hear a Dante expert.

https://www.riccardobruscagli.it/CurriculumEng.html

I had a hugely curious question regarding Italians and how beauty permeates every aspect of their culture. I was curious if Italian cultural Beauty is a product of their language and the way they formulate thoughts (and their world) in that language?  I attempted to ask my question by raising my hand. It became apparent that David was deliberately ignoring my raised hand until, finally, the Dante expert insisted on calling on me. 

The latest example of this dynamic was with a reading by astrologer whose astrology software I use and appreciate. I was interested in a reading from him for several reasons. One…he lives in Santa Cruz. Two…I very much enjoy the software. Three…he’s an expert on the planetary archetype of Eris. Of any modality I feel Evolutionary Astrology offers the clearest path to the understanding of the Soul’s journey. 

Additionally I feel Nome is ‘friendly’ with a great many conscious astrologers. In this zoom session it became apparent that he, too, was not going to let me get a word in edgewise as, right out-of-the-gate, he used the popular spiritual meme to ‘let-go-of-the-past’ to keep me quiet. At this point, however, I had very much regained my voice and, several times, elbowed my way in! I was kind of hoping that a prominent astrologer such as Henry would see the truth of the statement that ‘the cosmos doesn’t lie, people do.’

This dynamic…which played out in these different scenarios had the very same flavor to each one. It was not merely the flavor of a particularly talkative personality…but of an energy of abject ‘control.’

Each person involved was/is colluding and covering up for the lies and deceptions of Nome, et al. 

Once again, my intention is not to single out any particular individual(s) but to weave my reporting in such a way as to indicate the systemic level-of-cover for these teachers that exists in the conscious community. 

Indeed, there’s a fond-ness, an appreciation and a ‘certain level of respect’….but not enough to betray my own self-respect and the integrity of Truth itself.

This shadow of lying, silencing and cover-up I feel is a remnant of patriarchal systems. 

In saying that, it is also evident that men and women carry that shadow equally as, in this example, there were two women and two men who engaged in this energetic dynamic of the control of a ‘conversation’ in order that they not be confronted with me speaking face-to-face the actual truth they were/are so intent on covering up.

My deepest gratitude that you are following this story. ❦🌷

Should you have any questions, whatsoever, please contact me at: leslie@integrityintruth.com

(Photo image taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland)

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Ajata…and the Wide-Open-Door-to-Abuse

Ajata…radical Non-Duality or ‘nothing-ever-occurred’…is a dangerous understanding without equal ‘weight’ given to the fact-of-our-Humanity and the responsibility of living in a human form.

The demonstrative avoidance and downright negation of the entirety our humanity as demonstrated by radical non-duality, is the single-most harmful aspect…leaving wide-open-the-door for actual abuse…in what is commonly referred to awakening teachings. 

https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/

And the subsequent need for covering for the entirety of the non-dual structure such as we find in the smokescreen of oversight with the ‘Association for Spiritual Integrity’…

https://integrityintruth.com/the-smokescreen-of-oversight/

Please feel free to contact me at Leslie@IntegrityInTruth.com with any questions. ❦

(Photo: Natural Freedom Harmed…taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland)

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The Play of Karma and ‘As Above, So Below’

Sri Yantra and the infinitude of the sacred geometry of ‘as above, so below’ representing the exquisite Balance of all Creation: may we honor the Integrity of That.

In order to bypass the law of ‘as above, so below’ various non-dual teachings have, for years, operated within the dualistic system of separating the universe into such dualities as ‘real and unreal’ etc. 

It provides an effective and efficient barricade to any harm that might occur within any particular ‘non-dual’ framework in what has been brilliantly described as, ultimately, ‘authoritarian.’ (See ‘resources’ below)

Combine a system in which the guru is in a ‘no-loose authoritarian situation’ with some high-level siddis (occult powers) and you’ve entered into some potentially dark-matter…and ultimately controlling, territory….as was the case in this life.

The universal law of Karma, however, exists as the purveyor of ‘as above, so below.’ 

This can certainly be seen playing out in what occurred in this life at the hands of the following teachers:

Nome (and his wife Sasvati) and Russell Smith (and his wife Helga Schleiter-Smith) of SAT, The Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA and Candice O’Denver, a.k.a. Candice Rinpoche of Great Freedom/Balanced View headquartered in Marin County, CA.

Karma, ultimately, is not a punishment but a balancing of energies…a ‘boomerang’ of sorts…even of those who say they are ‘beyond karma’…as Nome, himself, said many times. 

The first 8 videos in the series ‘Information I Hold’ protected the names of the teachers involved in silencing and isolating me for a decade due to being the ‘holder’ for their lies and deceptions. That time is over.

Following is the link for Video #9: ‘Information I Hold: Naming-theNames’…

Video #9 – ‘Information’ I Hold…Naming-the-Names

If you prefer to read the text of this video you can do so here:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/cnhrbr18iljk5yk/TEXT%20FOR%20%239%20video%20…for%20those%20who%20prefer%20to%20read.docx?dl=0

The names were originally withheld for a number of reasons, not the the least of which was due to an internal ‘death’ threat (Source: Nome) should any of the ‘information’ ever become public knowledge.

That time of being silenced…and threatened…ends with Video #9. I am no longer willing to continue to martyr this life for their lies nor for the cover-up occurring in the non-dual community.

In the words of Russell Smith during a taped, private session… “You will fall through the cracks.” 

Those ‘cracks’ were the lies and deceptions put forth by the above named teachers…lies which I was forced to hold, under threat, for a decade.

A series of actions creating a ‘final straw’ was the prompt to finally speak-the-names, openly and publicly, of those who are acting teachers and who are continuing to harm and control this life. This requires the silent and systemic complicity of the many in the non-dual community who are entirely willing to continue to cover for the above teachers and who, as a community, are engaging in airtight collusion and coercion to protect the lies and deceptions of the above-named teachers.

There has been gaslighting and scapegoating with regard to my reporting on the abuse by these teachers.

The actual teachings around ‘victim identification’ (there certainly are victims) and ‘story’ telling’ have been used to cast doubt and/or to shame with regard to this reporting. 

Regarding ‘stories’… what I am sharing is a truthful experience and observation of deception and overt control for the purpose of silencing.

That is not a “story”, in my worldview, rather it is a sharing of facts.

Thank you, always, for reading/listening. ❦

-Leslie

Photo Image: Sri Yantra (Bing.com/images)

Resources: ‘The Guru Papers’ by Joel Kramer and Diana Alstad

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On the Meaning of Integrity

Integrity…❦

An honesty (without the moral flavor) to the actuality of Wholeness…with regard to human actions and interactions.

(Photo image: Magnolia…symbol of Integrity. Taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland)