Tag: betrayal

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The Tangled Web of Deception

“What a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive.” ~Sir Walter Scott

The famous words from Sir Walter Scott’s poem are a warning about the consequences of deceptions and dishonesty which, invariably, lead to a web of complications.

In some cases, an enormous web.

This was, most certainly the case when non-dual teachers made the decision to place the entirety of the burden for their lies and deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family. In doing so, they required (and needed) the complicity and collusion of the full-sweep of currently acting non-dual teachers to provide an air-tight container that would uphold those lies should I ever speak out about what I had been forced (under existential threat) to hold.

This deceptive web forced the cooperation of ALL those who were/are teaching the non-dual “truth.” The hypocrisy and arrogance of teaching the “truth” while lying was easily covered-for within the structure of absolutist teachings.

“…everyone plays dumb to maintain a whitewashed narrative — at your expense …(and) is lying about the same thing…” ~A former member of SAT…in conversation with me… describing the impervious wall-of-deception in the non-dual community.

There are two main types of lying-to-others: direct lying and lying-by-omission.

The vast majority of ‘awake’ folks in the non-dual space lied-by-omission to me. The standard refrain was that they “never heard of my former teachers.”  Or that these teachers were, no doubt, part of a “cult.” 

The lies of Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver demanded the sweeping participation of the entire non-dual community, inclusive of such high-profile names as Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi and numerous others all looking to protect their brands…and their wallets.

Conversations with non-dual teacher Mirjam Temba Rothkamm were typical of this obvious evasion of the truth. For over 10+ years, along with many others on FaceBook threads, she lied directly to me regarding her knowledge of my former teachers, and of what had occurred at their hands.

The absolutist teachings that Mirjam espouses are the perfect cover for harm and abuse as evidenced by the famous words of Rumi.

“Out beyond ideas of right-and-wrong there is a Field…” – Rumi

In 2023 I confronted Mirjam, and her constant denial of knowing Nome, with the following answer:

“One doesn’t need to know Nome personally. In the case of this complicity nobody-on-the-planet knows him!! That is precisely how everyone has been able to lie directly to me regarding the existential control and harm at his hands in this life…and the lives of 4-generations of my family. The bottom line is: If you’re awake you know. That is the level of complicity and collusion I am referring to.”

The wise words of FaceBook friend Kim Rome came at a crucial time when I was coming to terms with the necessity of reporting publicly what I had been forced to carry, not just for my former teachers but for the entire non-dual community.

Kim said “I think the thing about lying that is most overlooked is that it is a betrayal to self.”  

This landed on me like a brick as those teachers were betraying themselves in their lies but, worse, were requiring me to betray myself for lies that did not belong to me!

The decision to no longer betray myself would be a lesson that would take years to unfold.

“Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging.” ~Brene Brown

“Lies are the royal road to chaos.” -Sam Harris

Thank you for reading this post. ❦ If you have any questions whatsoever feel free to email me at: Leslie@integrityintruth.com

⚛️ Paul Selig’s message that this ‘was not intentional to me’ yet the existential controls were most definitely intentional to me:

https://integrityintruth.com/clarif…/the-move-to-portland/

Footnote:

At one point I mentioned to my father that Nome and Russ were lying to us.  In order to get clarity on whether this was true, my father raised my allegations on this lying to Nome during a private session. 

At that private, Nome told my father that I was lying to him. 

This was something my father took to his grave before knowing the actual truth.  Nome knew my father would believe his own guru more than his own daughter. 

Recently, in late 2024, I clair-audiently heard a current Indian SAT member ask Nome if what I was reporting on my website was true.

Again, Nome stated I was lying.

This was always Nome’s standard, defaming refrain when anyone spoke about the existential controls in-play at SAT.

He would always claim that he/she was just a disgruntled ex-member of SAT…thereby brushing-off any accountability and scapegoating the one(s) reporting on harm to protect the cult organization.


This has me concerned that Indian members are trapped within the SAT organization, giving their lives and money for the spiritual concepts of a teacher(s).

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Cult Behavior in the Non-Dual Sphere…and the Sweeping Dynamic of Control and Betrayal

When Nome and Russell Smith of SAT (Society of Abidance in Truth) decided to split their teachings…and remove those who might be jealous of the pending marriage of Nome…Russ was working with Candace O’Denver to establish the relatively new Great Freedom…later known as Balanced View.

All three — Nome, Russ and Candace —  knew that I had “fallen through the cracks” — the words of Russell from a taped private session.

Over the years, as my understanding of the actual scope of deception and collusion in the non-dual space deepened…along with the courage of a newly opened expression….I began to openly talk of exactly how widespread this collusion was.  Essentially, I had nothing left to loose.

There was a very big reason why Nome chose to silence me (under threat), why he chose to use an ‘auric block’ for extreme relational isolation and a ‘psychic implant’ for extreme, existential surveillance AND, ultimately, why he chose to enlist the complicity of those in the non-dual space to join him in covering for his lies.

For, ultimately, IF I spoke-up the entire non-dual house-of-cards regarding the dogmatic ‘unreality-of-the-world’…and numerous other extreme spiritual concepts (known as radical non-duality)…would collapse.

It is this aspect of control that comprises THE primary ingredient of cults. 

In many ways…even so-called “liberating” teachings exhibit truly organized cult behavior on a large scale. In the words of Facebook Friend David Bingham (himself a teacher): 

“I would like to add that in this modern age the Neo-Advaitan tradition of the truth existing ultimately in the sphere of the non-dual (which is followed by so many,  with so many esteemed teachers ) is a deeply flawed model of understanding of the nature of the human condition and its relationship with the Infinite.  It is a form of understanding which has an in-built tendency to deeply exacerbate illusions concerning the experiences of life and in turn to generate rigidities around its interpretation. In doing so it has great potential to be harmful to the fundamental well-being of its adherents, all the more so because it dresses itself in the clothes of liberation. It is a false and incomplete freedom of the age.” ~David Bingham, a rare Voice of Brilliance in the non-dual world.

Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, and a handful of others formed the basic skeletal structure, as we know it, of non-duality in the US…out of which branched such supportive services as SAND, BatGap, ASI etc…all very protective of keeping this particular ‘story’ of what happened in this life…and the protection of their deceptions…under wraps. 

The following links show the progression of my understanding of the sweeping scope of this collusion:

The ‘Compression Years’…of isolation and silencing (under threat)…existential control in which Adyashanti played a key role: ⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/…/the-compression-years…/

The many engaging in sweeping deception: ⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/coffee-lane-and-the-two-years-prior-to-moving-to-portland-december-2015-july-2018-%e2%9c%be/

The systemic deception within the non-dual community: ⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the-non-dual-field/

Paul Selig’s message that this ‘was not intentional to me’ yet the existential controls were most definitely intentional to me: ⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/clarif…/the-move-to-portland/

Adya’s role: ⚛️ https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the-non-dual-field/

The original letter to the ASI (Association for Spiritual Integrity): ⚛️https://www.dropbox.com/…/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23…

Please feel free to contact me should you have anything to share related to this content or any questions: ⚛️ Leslie@integrityintruth.com

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Embodied Integration is the Birthplace of Integrity

“What we do to one, we do to the entire Web of Life.” ~Chief Seattle
(Chief of the Duwamish and Suquamish tribes)

What is integration? 

For those who say “I’m not the doer” and “nothing ever happens”…integration, paradoxically, means to ‘own your actions.’

Owning one’s actions is the beginning of on-going integration…and integrity. Without integrity (any) awakening is meaningless.

Four years-ago I began reporting on the lies I had been forced (under threat) to hold for non-dual teachers: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (who goes by a variety of aliases).

What were the lies?

The lies were in regard to the ‘supposed split’ of the teachings of the brothers Nome and Russell Smith and their formative connection with Candace O’Denver’s Great Freedom/Balanced View.

The supposed split (of the brothers) was a ruse.

When I returned to SAT (after being asked to leave ‘The Way of Sudden Awakening’) upon entering the SAT Satsang Hall there was Russell sitting on the dias next to Nome, looking sheepishly at me as I entered the hall. After that Sunday, Russell left and did not return during the remainder of my stay at SAT.

The deceptions of the purported animosity between the brothers…in order to convincingly ‘paint the picture’…was a deliberate ruse that was even taken into the Santa Cruz County court system.

These lies occurred in tandem with the coupling/marriage of teachers (primarily Nome and Sasvati, aka Judy Gilden) and their own projected fear that jealousy may ensue.

I (and by relation, my family) became the inadvertent ‘holder’ for the deceptive secrets of these teachers.

Because of that those teachers felt compelled to completely tear this life apart for the sole purpose of ensuring that their lies would never become public knowledge.

I (and by relation, my family) became the inadvertent ‘holder’ for their deceptive secrets. Because of that those teachers felt compelled to completely tear this life apart for the air-tight purpose of ensuring that their lies would never become public knowledge. So…I am forced (under threat) to hold the lies belonging solely to these teachers and for an un-embodied teaching I do not even believe in! Yes, non-duality is a ‘truth’ but without integrity it is (also) moot.

The systemic cover for these teachers/situation… occurring over this past decade+…includes many in ‘leadership’ and teaching roles in the ND spiritual community. This includes several far-reaching non-dual organizations such as SAND, BatGap and ASI.

Matt Licata succinctly described this situation as a ‘cosmic betrayal.’

It has not only been a process of my own unfolding and understanding but of a growing revelation as to the extent of complicity and collusion in what has become known as the “non-dual” community.

The dark underpinnings of control, corruption and collusion as they exist in the non-dual space are clearly evident as they played out in this complex dynamic, involving un-provable siddis (occult powers), that is, unless one uses names and photos painting a clear narrative that would be nigh impossible to fabricate.

As a loyal and devoted seeker I was the recipient of (way) more than my fair share of the ‘beneficial’ aspect of occult powers.

Having been the one who “fell between the cracks” (exact words of Russell Smith in a taped session) the burden for the lies of those teachers fell squarely…and solely…on these shoulders…and hence the literal waterfall of psychic control to ensure their lies would never become public knowledge.

Whether beneficial OR malevolent: both aspects of occult control look to remove the inherent sovereignty that is each-of-our birthright.

Portending that level of control were Nome’s own words from the early years:

“Just look at who it is you’re up against.”

Those words, alone, demonstrated Nome’s dedication to power over others.

It is no wonder there was such extreme existential control over this life.

The most notable alliance to Nome, et al, in the suppression of this story was/is the key support of Adyashanti (and the many involved in Open Gate) during the entire time. https://integrityintruth.com/bentinho-and-the-adya-connection/

It becomes my duty…if not Soul Mission…to bring light to this type of occult control and existential manipulation.

Unfortunately, I feel uniquely qualified to disclose where there has been…and continues to be…harm existing under the shroud of spiritual control.

 Fortunately, this marks the end of a karmic SoulCycle of having been silenced at the hands of spiritual teachers for being the holder of deceptive secrets.

This may not have been something I would have chosen.

There are times when Life chooses us for a particular job.

For this devotee to be speaking out so publicly the actions of the above-mentioned teachers would have had to be so extremely violative on the existential level.

Owning one’s actions is the beginning of on-going integration…and integrity. ❦

Thank you for your interest in this story.

Feel free to e-mail me with any questions at: Leslie@IntegrityInTruth.com ❦

An apt quote by Jeff Brown, author of numerous books including “Grounded Spirituality.”
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What Would a Conscious Person/Community do…

…once there has been harm?

Would they cover it up? 

By now, many of who have followed this blog…and the published videos…know of the ‘information’ I’ve been forced to hold (under threat) for a decade…for the lies of certain spiritual teachers: Nome and Russell Smith of SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA) and Candace O’Denver, aka Candice Rinpoche of Great Freedom/Balanced View in Marin, CA.

Not only have my former teachers gone to the extent they have individually but they have also called upon the greater non-dual community…inclusive of many currently acting teachers…to join them in a system-wide cover-up.…all for the sole-purpose of keeping this ‘information’ from becoming public knowledge.

Much of my interaction within this community has involved being lied directly to…lies which I’ve been aware of for the entirety of this past decade. 

As long as I was willing to go along with those lies…betray myself and my voice…betray my family…and, essentially, betray Truth teachings, I was accepted and ‘loved’ in the online non-dual community.  The coercion to continue to hold those lies was/is very real.

As someone, with long-standing ties to SAT told me recently:  “…everyone plays dumb to maintain a whitewashed narrative — at your expense …(and) is lying about the same thing…”

It is this cultish support for lies…just as we are seeing in the greater body politic…that will ultimately surface.

The rallying around a cult-leader(s) in order to uphold lies is no different in these ‘high’-level spiritual teachings than is playing out on the collective/political scene.

They are the same exact dynamic.

*On all accounts it is authoritarian — and ultimately controlling — in nature.*

At what expense (our natural) awakening?

In 2018 I left the town of Santa Cruz to move to Portland in order to escape the over-arching controls over this life and the surveillance of my homes.

That move was not without consequences…some of which I cannot discuss on a public thread but which, overall, proved to be fraught with an enormous amount of psychic/occult pushback and control. 

It is no exaggeration that in the years since 2018 I have literally been stalked by high-level occult powers (siddis)…the intimidation of which was/is very real. 

My question to the non-dual community…and all awakening communities is: “What would you do once there has been harm?”

“If a man is a Jnani, he cannot utter a lie.”

– Ramana Maharshi

Thank you, always, for listening,

-Leslie Read

YouTube: Leslie Read

‘Information’ I Held: Video #10

(Blog post photo image: Frosted black grass…taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland)