Tag: Adyashanti

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When Spiritual Surrender is Actual Poison

(Trailing Roses taken with an iPhone 4 in Santa Cruz, California, when I was still fully devoted
even after having received a death threat should I ever speak out.)

Don’t get me wrong: spiritual surrender can be beautiful in its utter letting-go. But let’s not throw out the baby-with-the-bathwater. In the wrong context…and there are some wrong situations…spiritual surrender can, definitively, be the exact opposite of what a person needs on this most-profound-of-all-journeys.

Trust is the bottom line.

The guru, in whom I had trusted with the entirety of my life, turned out to be the least trustworthy and God, Source, Spirit, whatever term you would choose to use, turned out to be trustworthy in the Absolute sense. It would be the internal downloads from Spirit that would, ultimately, lead me out of the existential hole that the controlling relationship to this guru had created.

Over the course of my twenty-plus years of spiritual practice I found spiritual surrender to be of profound depth and beauty. It was also the predominant path of many at the organization SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth). That lasted until the time when Nome entered into a relationship with his then student, Judy Gilden, and decided that ‘spiritual inquiry’ would be the dominant path going forward. I continued on with my own practice…a combination of surrender and Dzogchen.

I was no slouch seeker. None of us were. We occasionally joked that we were definitely not at SAT for the pastries.

Much of what we engaged in over the years partook of highly ineffectual and inefficient practices…practices removed in time-and-space and decorated with the elaborate-ness of traditions that were/are long outdated. Judy Gilden, later Nome’s wife, exclaimed during one satsang, “I’ve been here for over a decade…and nothing.”

Yet, at the core of spiritual surrender at SAT was a trust in a higher power. This was the heartbeat of spiritual surrender. We need look no further than the Guru who was sitting in front of us.

“…if one first understands the profound Guru-and-disciple relationship and is accepted as a disciple, the absorption of the Teaching will come of itself.” This I fully believed and felt.

I jumped into the teaching at SAT earnestly beginning in late 1989. I let-go of thought (not wise when raising a family) let-go of worry and concern (great when raising a family) and sailed on a cloud of surrender where I received everything needed…even at a distance.

Fast forward to 2011 or so: when I had been up until then merely observing the lies-and-deceptions of Nome and Russell Smith, which I was giving-a-pass to in the name of spiritual ‘evolution’ and ‘freedom’ when non-dual teachers made the agreed-upon decision…across the entire non-dual teaching spectrum (including Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi and many others)…to place the full burden for their lies-and-deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family literally ripping my family apart. I was silenced (under a death threat) for a decade+…to ensure those lies would never become public knowledge.

This criminality has been described as a ‘Soul murder’ akin to being ‘buried alive.’

Those are absolutely accurate descriptions of the feeling of what occurred here.

Suddenly surrender became actual poison to this situation in which non-dual teachers foisted the full responsibility for their own actions on these shoulders and made me the sole “fall guy.”

It would take this temperament YEARS to realize that what had been second nature to me – surrender — was slowly betraying my Soul, betraying my family AND betraying the (actual) Truth.

The profound medicine of surrender had now become a profound and deadly poison. At this point, I have spent an equal amount of time healing myself from that particular devoted, bhakta path as I had spent on it!

In a delightful reading with a French-Canadian Tarot reader, one of the messages came through where she politely stated, “You need to upright your Emperor!!”

I had no idea what she was referring to. It would take me many years to rebalance an over-emphasized inner feminine with a long-missing inner masculine.

These teachers ALL knew of my ease with surrender…my proclivity to let people walk ALL OVER ME and to have utterly NO boundaries. I fully bought into the dangerous teaching expounded by non-dual teacher that Byron Katie that “Boundaries are an act of selfishness,” and “Victims are violent people.”

The teachers most directly involved in controlling this life so their deceptions would never become public knowledge used my own inner imbalance when I connected with a local man, seemingly random, to try and trigger an ‘awakening’ through the controlling use of toxic tantra…to try and induce a transcendent reality that some equate with actual ‘awakening.’

⚛️ Carl Jung: Individuation….and the Empath’s Road Back to Their Authentic Self: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/carl-jung-individuation

It was right about the 2nd year of connection with that local man that the no-nonsense teachings of Brene Brown came slamming into my awareness. It was like a slap on the face! WAKE-UP! and stop being a doormat for the utterly unconscious actions of ALL of these non-dual teachers…AND a doormat to this man whose tantric energy I was drunk on especially after close to 2 decades of emotional starvation due to an ‘auric block’ preventing relations, primarily intimate ones for obvious reasons. Brene Brown’s words were like a resounding wake-up call with the message: “You are going “against yourself” for all the wrong reasons!!”

“Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging.” ~Brene Brown

“When somebody intentionally causes harm, that’s a choice they made with full awareness of its cost and they chose it anyway. Boundaries are not cruel; they are not harsh; they are not a form of revenge. They are clarity. They are protection. And, most importantly, they are self-respect in action.” ~Brene Brown

S L O W L Y…I began to ‘upright my Emperor.’ I began to speak-my-truth which is not easy after a literal death threat should I ever do so. And I, slowly, let go of that local man who had been obviously deceiving me the whole time.

This shift was mirrored in many ways, but most significantly in gradually moving my healing writing to the Substack platform…where there was a clean, clear and new energy.

My own website, www.integrityintruth.com had been started when there was significant fawning still present in my words. I included a bazillion flower photos…all my own photography which was also part of the healing process…but were included to, somehow, soften the intense darkness of what I was reporting on: namely actual criminality at the hands of non-dual teachers.

Around June of 2025 my writing began to take a significant turn with the beginning of this post: ⚛️ The Mystery of Past Lives: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-mystery-of-past-lives

Not everyone on the spiritual path needs ego-diminishment. Some actually need the exact opposite. That was clearly the case in this life. But it was never as clear as when I realized those teachers were blackmailing me using my own family. It was only when I rebalanced my inner feminine with an upright, clear and forceful inner masculine that I could even begin to write about their use of familial occult manipulation and blackmail. Ultimately, I was being blackmailed into surrender. These non-dual teachers indicated, I would be reunited with my family once I surrendered to THEIR lies and deceptions.

Historically, and with certain spiritual traditions, teachers have always manipulated families of seekers in order to achieve certain spiritual goals.

⚛️ The Unseen Use of Spiritual Power (Siddis) for Control-Over-Others…in Contemporary Non-dual Teachings: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-unseen-use-of-spiritual-power

A couple decades ago there was the magical appearance of the ‘lost chapters’ of Jacob Beilhart’s ‘Love Letters From Spirit to You.’ (Some will know Jacob Beilhart as the teacher to Joseph Benner, who was the author of the well-known book: “The Impersonal Life” 1914.)

As soon as I received the book in the mail there was a palpable shock that went thru my entire system as the mailman handed me the package. In that book were the ‘missing chapters’ …4 chapters not previously published.

Beilhart was a late 19th – early 20th century American Sage with ‘spiritual community’ in the Santa Cruz Mountains. I opened to the following… “…when you submit to all that is in your nature regardless as to what it has been in the past, or whether it is called good or evil, and resist not their expression even as you have not resisted the right of other persons and things to express what they would to you; when you abandon yourself entirely to all that I give you and condemn not in any expressions then I shall clear away every vestige of the past. And thus will I renew you in every part.”

The shift was subtle. No more apologizing. No more fawning. A decisive move into a far more authentic voice which, overtime, began an inner alignment where the feminine would work in tandem with the masculine. As I began to incorporate this masculine protection, I gathered enough strength to begin speaking out about the REAL DARKHORSE: that of these teachers using my own family to blackmail me into a surrender!

While quiet, it was enough that a sensitive man-friend back east (who I’ve never met in person) messaged me on FaceBook about this change in tone. My Emperor had FINALLY stood up…and he was defending me. Someone… my own self…finally had my back!

Thank you for following my work. 🌷 If you have any questions or comments please feel free to contact me at:

~Leslie@integrityintruth.com …and on Substack: https://leslieread.substack.com/publish/posts/published

My Emperor had FINALLY stood up…and he was defending me. Someone… my own self…finally had my back!
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The Unseen Use of Spiritual Power (Siddis) for Control-Over-Others…

in Contemporary Non-dual Teachings

There is no doubt that my former teachers would rely on the utter complexity-of-the-story and the unprovable nature of siddis (occult powers) to ensure that their cultish control-over-others — fueled by lies-and-deceptions — would never surface.

However, Truth always rises. Yet, how does one even begin to write about the Unseen??

How does one write about what, largely, cannot be proven?

That is what this post will be documenting. It is only by documenting, with supportive evidence, the series of events erected to protect this type of fundamentalism, that one can crack the wall-of-silence, pull-back-the-veil on the control of the occult and shed some light on what so many in the west simply do not believe.

This will be a post on unseen siddis or occult powers as they are used in contemporary non-dual spirituality. Aside from sexual abuse, which this post in no way makes light of…occult powers are the single-most controlling factor in modern-day spirituality, particularly in contemporary neo-advaita traditions.

It was in the early days of my affiliation with SAT that this deeply-devoted and open-heart was the recipient of many benevolent occult powers. So-much-so that I nearly wrote a book about them as there were so many. Often, those siddis were accompanied by hilarious incidences. While I can only describe my understanding of such, there was a very definitive “scent” upon the arrival of each magical occasion. That unmistakable ‘scent’ was of my former teacher, Nome.

While I never ascribed any egoistic attribute to such occurrences (which may be the reason I was privy to so many), I would often run next door to my father’s small abode, and say, “You would not believe what just happened!!” Whereupon he would say: “I do not experience such occurrences, but I do believe you.” He could sense that I was not making any of this up. There were many such occasions.

From the very first, of a Bearded Collie puppy that arrived in our lives: a breed well-known for being good with young children and a puppy who had been advertised for several hundred dollars. Upon arriving at the breeder’s I was convinced by the owner to ‘take my pick’ of the litter — for free!! — and was sent-off with vaccination shots, a bath, and a crate to take her home in! ALL for FREE!

From there, I and my entire family would reap the rewards of numerous discounted airline flights from Denver to Santa Cruz…over-the-years an average of about $25. for each flight! The first of such free flights ended with my sitting in the airport lounge, steeped in bliss.

It was then that I knew exactly where all these free-flights were coming from.

On one such occasion, my entire family volunteered to give up our seats in exchange for two free airline tickets for each of us, whereupon the flummoxed pilot was heard saying, “How did that entire family get kicked off!?” My daughter joyously dancing down the airline ramp and singing “We got kicked off!!”

Occasionally, although rarely, Nome and Russ would appear together in an occult scenario. They could appear as anyone. I understand that it’s hard to wrap one’s mind around the fact that a person could assume an alternate identity.

 Siddis can do anything.

Yet it was always the same feeling-scent. The feeling-scent was utterly unmistakable in each instance. (People are generally unaware of the reality of occult siddis and are definitely unaware of when siddis directly affect them!)

Spiritual teacher Andrew Harvey offers one of the very rare insights into this dynamic:

“It is my belief that 90 percent of the so-called masters in the modern world are not enlightened at all but are in fact occult magicians. The occult magician will use his or her occult powers to ensnare the devotee in a posture of adoration by feeding them visionary experiences, which may seem to open things up for the devotee but actually keeps one dependent on the guru. It’s a kind of drug pushing as dangerous on the spiritual level as cocaine or heroin is on the physical. Because people don’t know the difference between the divine and the occult, nor how accurately the occult can mimic the divine, nor how easily occult powers can be cultivated by the unscrupulous and ambitious. They take these powers and experiences to be unmistakable signs of divine presence and go on worshipping as divine these people who have, in fact, shown that they are neither good, nor kind, nor humble, nor generous.”

Andrew’s description perfectly illustrates how the occult can easily mimic the Divine and ensnare both the student and the teacher alike.

Because of my knowledge of the ruse-of-the-story behind the brothers and the deceptions of Nome & Russell Smith it gradually became too dangerous for me to remain at SAT as those teachers feared the rest of the sangha, especially the Indians, would find out.

To this day, there are a handful of people who had been there since their late teens and 20’s. And quite a few who have consistently given their entire salaries and so much of their time. Of course, the Indians, who Nome wanted to help the most, had to be shielded from what I knew.

When asked about my reporting Nome resorted to the standard refrain for all deflectors stating: “She’s lying.”

Right before the end of my time at SAT Nome stated, in silence, a warning which would come true and which would affect every single aspect of this life and the lives of my family.  

He said: “The hardest thing for you will be to not be able to be in a relationship.”

This would be the very beginning of the once-benevolent siddis turning deeply-malevolent and existentially controlling.

In that moment, of course, I had no idea what he was referring to, but I will never forget that silent statement. It would only be after I had left, and after several sessions with a handful of respected seer-healers and medical intuitives that each, independently, told me an “auric block” had been placed in my field for purposes of restricting relationships.

Although that ‘auric block’ would mean ALL relationships (I was isolated for a decade+ with the exception of those forming an airtight space of collusion and complicity) it would be primarily intimate relationships, for obvious reasons.

And while there were three men (two of whom were sent via Nome/Adyashanti) those ‘companions’ would only work as long as I betrayed myself.

The existential restriction of intimate relationships would, ultimately affect every single area of my life:

  • personal
  • mental/emotional/psychological
  • physical
  • spiritual
  • familial
  • financial etc.

It was the beginning of what has been described as a “soul murder” akin to being “buried alive.”

Those descriptions, by Aile Shebar, of what happened in this life are excruciatingly accurate descriptions to the feeling-sense and the depth of psychological agony.

This was the very beginning of when non-dual teachers made the agreed-upon decision…across the full non-dual teaching spectrum (including Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi and many others)…to place the entirety of the burden for their lies-and-deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family, literally ripping my family apart…silencing and isolating me (under a death threat) for a decade+…to ensure those lies would never become public knowledge.

During the “Compression Years” (an actual description used by those at SAT) from 2013-2015, in which Adyashanti played a major role, a “psychic implant” was planted in the right side of my brain.

Again, at that time, I had no idea what a ‘psychic implant’ was nor had I ever heard of such a thing. The seer who pointed it out during a session stated that a “psychic implant” is used for purposes of extreme, existential surveillance, allowing the host to see-with-your-eyes, hear-with-your-ears, etc…

Again, seer-healers and medical intuitives, all independently pointed-out the implant out as did, oddly, a medical MRI.

(There were SO many covering for the brand of Adyashanti: people who were intent on shielding him from the possible fallout should any of what I was being forced to hold…lies that were not mine and for a teaching I did not believe in…happen to come to light.

As The universe would have it, I had numerous connections with people who were complicit in their collusion with these teachers, and the vast majority of them I had photos of.

The following link indicates some of those connected with, and covering for, Adyashanti…many who I met with in-person:

⚛️ Coffee Lane and the many engaging in sweeping deception (scroll down on this page to see the photo images): https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/coffee-lane-and-the-two-years-prior-to-moving-to-portland-december-2015-july-2018-%e2%9c%be/

It would also be during this time of the ‘compression years’ that I realized my family was, also, being manipulated (details of which I will not relay on a public platform.)

At the time, I felt I had to succumb to such controls.

Objecting to ‘spiritual authority’ absolutely felt foreign to this devoted heart.

The notion that I could possibly have the self-respect to stop this or even report on what was occurring would not arrive until much later.

No doubt this was from the MANY times Nome stressed that to betray or harm in any way, a self-realized Master, would end up in devastating karma.

⚛️ The Ultimate Demise of Fundamentalist Spirituality…The Arrogance of Superiority: https://leslieread.substack.com/…/the-ultimate-demise…

Over time, I became aware of the fact that these teachers were using my family to blackmail me further into silence, on top of the already placed ‘auric block’ and ‘psychic implant.’

Historically, and with certain spiritual traditions, teachers have manipulated families of seekers in order to achieve certain spiritual goals. In contemporary culture this is, now, considered criminal abuse.

About 10 years ago Nome’s wife Sasvati (a siddha master in her own right) appeared in the line at the Santa Cruz Costco a couple rows down from me. She was with her two daughters and laughing unusually loudly so as to get my attention.

The message was abundantly clear: if I surrendered, I’d be reunited with my daughter and son…who I already knew were being manipulated and controlled by siddis (occult controls) in their communication with me. However, surrender is always to The Truth and never to lies, deceptions and control-over-others.

The controls over my family have been on-going…and long-term.                                                

Nome…(Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji etc) definitely did not want the ‘information’ I was holding to be shared, in any way, with my two kids…especially my daughter. These teachers all had their hands in the ‘Compression Years’…and in the deliberate ripping apart of my family.

Ultimately, it would be my family that would be the prime reason, of course, for ALL of my reporting.

These teachers truly felt confident in their feeling that what had occurred to me, was far too complex to report on, and improbable to prove. (My reporting is primarily for those who already know I am telling the truth! This reporting is basically serving as a mirror.) Additionally, Nome certainly counted on a highly-devoted heart, not only to these teachers, but to so-called ‘awakening’ teachings.

In some sense, that was all very true.

It would take me many, many years to gain enough self-respect to stop acquiescing and follow the Guidance of Spirit and Source in the unwinding of such an existential control.

I remember lying in bed at the Coffee Lane apartment, feeling utterly helpless about the state of this life and the immensity of control… a type of control that I was aware of for the entire past two decades. My life had, literally, been taken.

Two years later, I would move to Portland, which would give me the physical space away from the vast numbers of people in Santa Cruz who had been lying directly to me regarding their knowledge of my former teachers and of what had occurred.

Matt Licata described my ‘situation’ as a “cosmic betrayal” — indicating the immense scope of the betrayal.

⚛️ The Tangled Web of Deception: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-tangled-web-of-deception

The move to Portland would interrupt the physical surveillance and the betrayal by many in that community. But the move would have zero effect on the actual siddis which became dramatically worse after the move to Portland. After I arrived in Portland, there ensued being, literally, stalked by the occult – stalked by siddis.

It was during this time that my health began deteriorating to the point where I thought I could easily die from high blood pressure. This was the result of the enormous stress of being stalked…and from enduring an exceedingly high debt-level on high-interest credit cards to pay my living expenses and ensure my reporting could begin, which it did in early 2019.

Nothing was bringing that HBP down and I could not explain it to the physician.

What would I say?! I’m being stalked by siddis??

This stress would continue from 2018 thru the middle of 2025 when I finally stopped the fawning in my expressed, written voice…when my voice became much more aligned with an inner self-respect.

Notably this important turning point was also when I began my writing on Substack. It was as if I had to move the platform of my writing…a move away from my website…to clear-out even more energy from the past.

⚛️ Carl Jung: Individuation….and the Empath’s Road Back to Their Authentic Self: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/carl-jung-individuation

It would only be through the interior Guidance of Spirit, and the downloads I received, that I would continue in my reporting.

Non-dual teachers were willing to, literally, take someone’s life instead of owning-their-actions…and they felt they could hide it with the unseen powers of the occult within an airtight community.

⚛️ This link describes (only the benevolent of) Osho’s occult powers…courtesy the late Mamaji: https://www.oshonews.com/2011/12/27/16th-karmapa-about-osho/ (Nome was hugely influenced by Osho. The above link explains many of the identical benevolent siddis that both these teachers held. And yet, like with any duality, that attribute includes darkness as well.)

I could never quite reconcile the ‘awakening’ of my former teachers with what I was seeing with my own eyes and empathic sense, namely the lies, deceptions, and some very obvious sexual abuses that are now being reported on (aka Deepak) and which were clearly evident within the Osho cult.

⚛️ The Cult of Radical Non-Duality: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-cult-of-non-duality

⚛️ Inside Osho’s controversial cult – The dark side of the Rajneesh movement (Full Documentary, 2013): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6UVw7M5tlo

In light of that, I fully agree with Jeffrey Wolf Green’s assessment of Osho as a ‘sexually awakened’ person and not a ‘spiritually enlightened’ one. I do believe that was the case with Nome and the many who occupy the non-dual arena.

(Jeffrey Wolf Green, Neptune: Whispers from Eternity, 2016, Osho example: pps. 139-150)

⚛️ ASI LETTER (Association for Spiritual ‘Integrity’) 03/06/2023 at the end of which is a link to a short recording (22 min.) detailing the occult controls over 4-generations of my family… to which Rick Archer said to just walk away: https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0&e=1&fbclid=IwAR2hNCDCiHgzRQrXqce9WFFH5vgHGHoGlda3PUlGKT2n1qMuoFfoMadMbvs

Thank you for following my work. 🌷

Please feel free to contact me with any questions or to share your own experiences. ❦

Warmly, Leslie@integrityintruth.com

⚛️ Integrity in Truth https://www.integrityintruth.com

And on substack: https://substack.com/@leslieread/posts

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Cover-for-Harm in the Non-Dual Field

Adyashanti, the ASI (Association of Spiritual ‘Integrity’) and their Collusion to cover for the Existential Controls of Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver…

Association for Spiritual ‘Integrity’ – ASI

Candace O’Denver’s Great Freedom/Balanced View
Nome and Russell Smith’s SAT –
Society of Abidance in ‘Truth’
Adyashanti and Mukti’s ‘Open Gate’

On March 2, 2023  (Admin of) the FaceBook Association for Spiritual Integrity (ASI) Discussion Group posted:

“We are excited to let you all know that the Association for Spiritual Integrity has been invited to present at the Harvard Divinity School Conference….Jac O’Keeffe, Philip Goldberg, and Rick Archer will be leading an interactive workshop on “Lessons from a Young Organization Making a Difference,” about the work of the ASI.”

“Making a difference?!?” Given the hypocrisy of the ASI’s attendance to Harvard Divinity School Conference I wrote the following:

Is this the same Rick Archer and Jac O’Keeffe who I addressed the following letter (dropbox link below) to?

ASI LETTER (Assoc. for Spiritual ’Integrity’) 03/06/2023 ⚛️https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0&e=1&fbclid=IwAR2hNCDCiHgzRQrXqce9WFFH5vgHGHoGlda3PUlGKT2n1qMuoFfoMadMbvs

Instead of saying “How can we help?”…I was told Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (who goes by too numerous aliases to mention) that they were NOT members of the ASI, and therefore the ASI could NOT help me.

Jac O’Keeffe and Lauren Medeiros met with me on Zoom for 30 minutes concluding ONLY that contemporary non-duality is the ‘wild west’ and…

…Rick Archer who, on a private messenger thread with @ 50 others, chided my reporting…and the voice recording at the end of the above letter describing the deliberate existential controls affecting 4-generations of my family…defiantly asked me “How’s that going for ya?” (in reference to my reporting).

This case involving 4-generations of my family is arguably one of the most existentially damaging to a life/lives…not to mention to the integrity of the teachers/teachings.

Are these the SAME PEOPLE who are going to the Harvard Divinity School??

How about a live…and OPEN…meeting with one of the more significant and influential teachers who absolutely participated in the existential controls of Nome/Russ/Candice?

Namely:  ADYASHANTI?

Adya could look me straight-in-my-eyes and tell me, unequivocally, that not only does he know nothing of Nome but he, himself, didn’t have his OWN HANDS directly involved in the ‘Compression Years.’

How about that??


Jeannie Zandi, Bentinho and the Adyashanti connection that drew in many connected with them…⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/bentinho-and-the-adya-connection/


Adyashanti…the major large-name non-dual teacher covering for Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver…⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/the-primary-collusive-support-of-adyashanti/


Gangaji and her support of Nome and of my continuance in being forced  hold their lies… ⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/gangaji-and-her-support-of-the-deceptions/


The ‘Compression Years’…of isolation and deliberate silencing (under threat) at the hands of non-dual teachers…in which Adyashanti played a key role: ⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/


The Dogma of Patriarchal Control & Occult Manipulation:  ⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-dogma-of-patriarchal-control/

Truth & Integrity contain non-duality but non-duality, most definitely, does not guarantee truth nor integrity.

Warmly, ~Leslie Read


Thank you 🌷❣️…Please feel free to contact me should you have anything to share related to this content or any questions: ⚛️ Leslie@IntegrityInTruth.com

P.S.…As of March 24, 2023 the above message was removed by an admin on the FaceBook ASI Community page

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The Smokescreen of ASI Oversight

Enclosed…

In 2020 I wrote a letter to the ASI (The Association for Spiritual Integrity) describing the harm that had occurred in this life at the hands of certain spiritual teachers: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (who goes by various aliases).

The organization ASI (Association for Spiritual Integrity) was formed shortly after I began working on my own website: www.IntegrityInTruth.com.

The ASI provided a platform…an address…with which I addressed my concerns in a letter that detailed the existential harm to this life…and to the Truth. It was in the hopes of getting some support that I wrote this letter describing what is arguably one of the worst breaches in the awakening community.

(A link to the PDF of that letter appears at the end of this blog-post.)

Over time it became very clear that not only would no help be forthcoming but that there was inordinate cover-up and collusion for the very ‘story’ I was/am reporting on.

Shortly after writing that letter I started a private message thread with approximately 100+ people that I invited who were current FaceBook ‘friends.’

Of those 100 at least a couple dozen were/are currently acting teachers and others well known in the non-dual spiritual community.

Many well-known teachers were/are present on that thread as well as Rick Archer of BATGAP (Buddha at the Gas Pump) and

Ralitza Zaya Benazzo and Maurizio Benazzo, co-founders of SAND (Science & Nonduality Conference).

(At this time a separate letter explaining what had happened was addressed to Zaya and Maurizio. No answer was forthcoming.) Clairvoyantly I felt Zaya’s discomfort.

During the past couple of years, those on that private message thread bore witness to the unfolding of my deepening understanding of what had occurred and the nature of what, ultimately, looked like collusion and cover-up in the non-dual community.

Significantly, as I deepened in my understanding of the obvious collusion…people began to leave the thread.

While I appreciated the willingness to stay ‘on topic’ and not go down endless rabbit holes around abuse of power, eerily, there was an airtight silence regarding the harm I was describing among the folks that remained on the thread.

Why?

As the saying goes: Silence = Complicity

That silence became even more airtight as the enormity of the scope of collusion to cover for the existential harm to myself…and my family…became clearly evident.

Rick Archer…one of the founding board members of the ASI began pushing back on my reporting with the following gaslighting:

“All I’m saying to you Leslie is, this thing seems to dominate your life. Is it really your mission in life to bring these people to justice, or whatever you hope to do? How is that coming along? How long have you been at it and how much progress have you made?”

“I’m sure that these guys are putting much less attention on you than you are on them. That to which we give our attention grows stronger in our life. Want to get them out of your life? Stop giving them attention.”

In correspondence with me one person (who will remain unnamed) finally stated the unspoken obvious:

“…everyone plays dumb to maintain a whitewashed narrative — at your expense …(and) is lying about the same thing…”

Thank you for following this story and for your continued interest in seeing actual integrity in high-level spiritual teachings. ❦

Please email with any questions at: Leslie@IntegrityInTruth.com  

_________________________❦

Please use the following link to access the letter to the ASI. At the end of that letter is a link to a short (22 minutes) recording detailing the harm to 4-generations of my family.(There have been several editions of this letter…the factual meaning and substance remains entirely the same.)

https://www.dropbox.com/s/apmlmhd89jjwvig/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A04%3A23.pdf?dl=0

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THE DOGMA OF PATRIARCHAL CONTROL

Controlled suppression of the ego. (Siva image first found on Jeannie Zandi’s Website.)

The following is, in part, from a ‘private’ FaceBook messenger thread where I’ve been relaying what occurred in this life at the hands of certain spiritual teachers:

Patriarchal spiritual traditions have a history of teachers manipulating families of seekers in order to achieve certain spiritual goals.

In addition to manipulating families for certain spiritual outcomes, there have been teachers who have attempted to ‘influence’ seekers by indicating certain romantic outcomes.

I’ve long described Nome as the ‘Cosmic Cupid’ as he would, quite literally, pluck people out-of-nowhere and pair them up with people in the sangha at SAT.

It was his version of the ‘arranged marriage’…so to speak.

This might even entail the breaking up of marriages that had been together 20–30 years…as long as he achieved the goals he needed and wanted.

“Yes, many teachers have done exactly that: they have split families up and/or longtime connections and marriages. This is one of their techniques of subjugation. To control the emotional and sentimental lives of their followers is one of the tools to keep people in trance.  I have seen happening in my own cult: the leaders separate friends and family members to deeper control their subjects. It is revolting and cruel…
Unfortunately, in the so-called spiritual world amends have not been made and this has damaged many souls.”

– Maria Grazia Mori-Oakley…Prior Osho Community member – Pune

Everyone who has said: ‘change will never happen’…the ‘occult will never be able to be proven’….“How’s that working out for ya?!” (Rick Archer)… all those who have denied knowing my former teachers as well as the many, within the non-dual community who have been actively covering for my former teachers…acting in complicity and collusion…each-and-every single-one-one-of-them knows I’m telling the truth!

Yet, ultimately, I feel truth rises and there will be justice. We are seeing the last stranglehold of those aspects of patriarchy that are out-of-sinc with the new energies of our Humanity: justice, integrity and fairness.

What we are moving into is simply no longer a match with the out-of-balance energy frequency of patriarchal structures that give no credence to the Just…call it God, Source, Spirit or what you will.

Solely realizing Wholeness is no longer the singular mark of an evolved Soul. That has been made abundantly evident.

The statement “How’s that working for ya?” (Rick Archer) was made after listening to an outline of the occult controls over 4-generations of this life. His statement was indicative of the pervasive sentiment….not only of himself but of many currently acting teachers and those in leadership positions of organizations (such as SAND, ASI and his own BatGap)…all of whom have known of the harm in this life…and have remained silent. That silence of so many in leadership within the non-dual community indicated that I would have no choice but to simply accept the harm and control of these teachers. These were all people who knew of the harm…and said nothing.

In some cases the very teachings were used to gaslight the one reporting on the harm.

Rick Archer happens to be one of the more ardent…and public…supporters of Adya and the Adya ‘brand.’ https://integrityintruth.com/bentinho-and-the-adya-connection/

Yes…occult controls are nearly impossible to prove.

Anyone with any understanding that siddis (occult powers) can do anything would know that.

Yet…with the addition of naming-names and providing photos of people directly involved in collusion to cover-up harm — ALL on a public website…this story could not have been ‘made-up,’ as some have alluded to.

Furthermore, it was more-than-evident who was protecting the brand of Adyashanti.

From 2012 I knew of Adya’s involvement in covering for his friends: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver.

Over this past decade it became clearer-yet that Adya was the major player in ensuring the harm at the hands of those teachers would never become public knowledge.

There were many who met with me and emphatically expressed that Adya did not even know of Nome!

Ellen Davis was one who came within a hairsbreadth of gaslighting me by indicating I was reporting on this for money. Even she must’ve realized that would be going too far.

Adya was, clearly, not the only teacher covering for his friends…yet he was/is the main one. Of all the currently acting teachers protecting my former teachers…Adyashanti is the one who has the most ‘skin’ in the non-dual game.

If I could describe the look Adya gave me as he was indicating that I should return to SAT a decade ago….one word comes to mind: arrogance.

That look indicated what I was ‘up against.’ His look indicated that there would be no way for me to overcome such ‘power’ and control.

I am not interested in power…or in the overcoming of such.

What I am interested in…and what I am reporting on…is pulling-back-the-veil involving unintegrated teachers and their deliberate control-over-others.

That deliberate control-over-others is variously known as patriarchy which, of course, is not gender-specific.

There are quite a number of current female teachers actively carrying that patriarchal shadow. Those female teachers still operating within the patriarchal paradigm are fully willing to cover for harm at the hands of their male counterparts…especially as seen with the submission and existential quashing of the Human ego. (The header image for this post…of Siva’s foot on the head of the ego…was first seen on Jeannie Zandie’s website.) https://integrityintruth.com/bentinho-and-the-adya-connection/

(Humans need a ‘healthy ego.’ It could be argued that, for some, the expedient path of Freedom is not the denial of an ego but, rather, the building up of the ego. This is subject for another post.)

“I have witnessed the worst side of patriarchy in the Osho cult where some of the women were involved in prostitution for the “master” and in turn were telling the, younger ones how to do it so that they could contribute monetarily to the commune and his extravagant, luxurious life-style.“

– Maria Grazia Mori-Oakley

Historically, women veered away from any sense of ‘right sisterhood’ to where women felt they were more valued (and safe) if they acted in certain ways according to the patriarchal paradigm.

This affected everything from competition with each other for men, status and ultimately their own survival…and often, and sadly, against each other.

That type of control…which was out-of-control in the Osho community will be (and more-and-more is) undermined as we each discover our own authentic connection to Truth, Spirit and the Divine.

The necessity to prove, compete, manipulate, toe-the-line or do any kind of harm to others will dissipate. At SAT this was displayed by the subtle moves by Nome/Russ playing women against each other. In fact, I remember Nome  saying out-loud “Jealousy is good!”

That same dynamic is carried on with Bentinho…

The patriarchal imbalance…resulting in a type of False sisterhood…remains as long as there is any kind of channel seen to be more worthy than our own innately sourced connection to The Divine.

With our own, independent, connection to The Divine the patriarchy in spirituality will be wholly undermined.

Gratitude Kate Macnamara
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The Colluding Role of Adyashanti and Open-Gate

A Deep Burn in what (only) appears to be Truth

The following was in conversation with a FB friend and currently acting teacher regarding Adyashanti’s knowledge… and cover…for Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver:

I begin with a ‘bit’ of clarification regarding Kiran’s ‘honesty’….

While, I appreciated the feminine aspect of authenticity that Kiran Trace deJaray brought to the teachings there was, also, an obvious dishonesty regarding the reason and purpose of the time she spent with me.

She was not the only one in such a position.

Kiran was one of several who had been sent to spend time with me. This may have even been a paid job as it was with the following:

-Michael Harrington 

-Steven Walters

-Marilyn Madden

-Kiran Trace

All 4 have very close ties with Adyashanti. 

Those four (and, later, Prajna Ginty and Kristy Thompson) spent inordinate amounts of time with me. 

https://integrityintruth.com/the-primary-collusive-support-of-adyashanti/

Marilyn Madden invited me to gatherings at Prema Akasha’s (she was then the “Creative Director” for Open Gate and who, now, goes by Maja Apolonia Rode) where Bentinho, Michael Harrington, Benjamin Smythe (who had his knowledge of my situation written all over his face…as did Rupert Spira during the 2 Satsangs of his that I attended in 2013 with Nishkala Leslie Jennings (who, also, was sent!!), etc would gather. 

Being from the highly air-tight and insular SAT (Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA), at the time I knew none of these people.

Some have gone to great lengths to protect Adya’s brand…for obvious reasons. 

Yet, from Adya’s talks, in Santa Cruz,  the cover for Nome was apparent. 

Even mentioning such a connection of Adya’s ties with Nome to Sonya Amrita Bibilos, Marilyn Madden, John Thomas and others draws extreme reactions and, in the case of Marilyn, gaslighting that is over-the-top.

The reactions of those three tell a lot…yet SAT and Open Gate were always revolving doors.

https://integrityintruth.com/on-the-importance-of-integrity/

Mary Winslow, who was very close to my kids and who eventually left for Open Gate, wore her distress about this situation all over her face. I ran into Mary and Peter outside the Nickelodeon theater in Santa Cruz where we had just (appropriately) seen ‘Diving Bell and The Butterfly”…a movie which amazingly described being physically silenced after a car accident resulting in complete paralysis with the exception of being able to blink one eye.

I was in shock from that movie as it was the very beginning of feeling my life had literally been taken.

While much of this is sensitivity and intuition there were also clairvoyant messages, particularly of other teachers tied to Nome. I didn’t know, at the time, what clairvoyance even was/is…but thoughts/feelings of others (some whom I had never met) would come streaming in.

Why am I reporting on this? 

…for myself, for Stan (my father), for Em and Ty (my daughter and son), for my two grandkids (the youngest of whom would not recognize me), for those who have also been harmed by these teachers…and, ultimately, for the Truth. 

Gratitude to one who had the courage to say it ‘out loud’:

“…everyone plays dumb to maintain a whitewashed narrative — at your expense …(and) is lying about the same thing…”

Honesty and integrity are values that I will not compromise on.

The extent of these deceptions is steep…and it is systemic.

❦ Feel free to contact me at with any questions: leslie@integrityintruth.com

Photo: A Deep Burn in what (only) appears to be Truth…taken with an iPhone 13 in NW Portland. ?⚖️?❤️

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On the Importance of Integrity

It takes humility to admit one’s mistakes.

Yes…in our Humanity there are mistakes…there are victims…there are ‘stories’ that need to be told…especially when there has been existential harm at the hands of spiritual teachers.

“It’s more important to be in integrity than to be ‘enlightened’.” -Adyashanti

I am in complete agreement with this statement. Yet, if Adya TRULY felt this way he would have refused to participate in the non-dual, community-wide collusion and cover-up for the lies of: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (who goes by numerous, evasive, aliases).

This is sweeping hypocrisy.

Instead, in answer to a question of mine at one of his Santa Cruz talks, he indicated for me to actually return to SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth).

That, of course, was an impossibility.

Yet…Adya was not the only one involved in this collusion. I am not reporting on his words to single him out as this breach-in-integrity was/is systemic-wide throughout the non-dual community.

However, he and Gangaji were two of the more well-known, and respected teachers, to participate in this pressure-campaign to ensure my silence regarding how/why the teachings of Nome and Russ were supposedly split up.

This was systemic collusion that placed the entirety of the burden…the entirety of their own karma…for those lies to fall squarely – and solely – on my shoulders.

Please refer to: https://integrityintruth.com/bentinho-and-the-adya-connection%ef%bf%bc/ and https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/ and https://integrityintruth.com/adya-and-gangaji/

In order to ensure ‘Integrity’ in the non-dual space…when (all) the acting teachers already know about these lies where is the problem with bringing this out in the open?

Is it truly ‘wise’ to perpetuate deceptions?

Thank you for following this blog and this ‘story.’ ❧

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me at: leslie@integrityintruth.com

Photo: Adyashanti…courtesy Bing Photos.