Tag: abuse

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The Unseen Use of Spiritual Power (Siddis) for Control-Over-Others…

in Contemporary Non-dual Teachings

There is no doubt that my former teachers would rely on the utter complexity-of-the-story and the unprovable nature of siddis (occult powers) to ensure that their cultish control-over-others — fueled by lies-and-deceptions — would never surface.

However, Truth always rises. Yet, how does one even begin to write about the Unseen??

How does one write about what, largely, cannot be proven?

That is what this post will be documenting. It is only by documenting, with supportive evidence, the series of events erected to protect this type of fundamentalism, that one can crack the wall-of-silence, pull-back-the-veil on the control of the occult and shed some light on what so many in the west simply do not believe.

This will be a post on unseen siddis or occult powers as they are used in contemporary non-dual spirituality. Aside from sexual abuse, which this post in no way makes light of…occult powers are the single-most controlling factor in modern-day spirituality, particularly in contemporary neo-advaita traditions.

It was in the early days of my affiliation with SAT that this deeply-devoted and open-heart was the recipient of many benevolent occult powers. So-much-so that I nearly wrote a book about them as there were so many. Often, those siddis were accompanied by hilarious incidences. While I can only describe my understanding of such, there was a very definitive “scent” upon the arrival of each magical occasion. That unmistakable ‘scent’ was of my former teacher, Nome.

While I never ascribed any egoistic attribute to such occurrences (which may be the reason I was privy to so many), I would often run next door to my father’s small abode, and say, “You would not believe what just happened!!” Whereupon he would say: “I do not experience such occurrences, but I do believe you.” He could sense that I was not making any of this up. There were many such occasions.

From the very first, of a Bearded Collie puppy that arrived in our lives: a breed well-known for being good with young children and a puppy who had been advertised for several hundred dollars. Upon arriving at the breeder’s I was convinced by the owner to ‘take my pick’ of the litter — for free!! — and was sent-off with vaccination shots, a bath, and a crate to take her home in! ALL for FREE!

From there, I and my entire family would reap the rewards of numerous discounted airline flights from Denver to Santa Cruz…over-the-years an average of about $25. for each flight! The first of such free flights ended with my sitting in the airport lounge, steeped in bliss.

It was then that I knew exactly where all these free-flights were coming from.

On one such occasion, my entire family volunteered to give up our seats in exchange for two free airline tickets for each of us, whereupon the flummoxed pilot was heard saying, “How did that entire family get kicked off!?” My daughter joyously dancing down the airline ramp and singing “We got kicked off!!”

Occasionally, although rarely, Nome and Russ would appear together in an occult scenario. They could appear as anyone. I understand that it’s hard to wrap one’s mind around the fact that a person could assume an alternate identity.

 Siddis can do anything.

Yet it was always the same feeling-scent. The feeling-scent was utterly unmistakable in each instance. (People are generally unaware of the reality of occult siddis and are definitely unaware of when siddis directly affect them!)

Spiritual teacher Andrew Harvey offers one of the very rare insights into this dynamic:

“It is my belief that 90 percent of the so-called masters in the modern world are not enlightened at all but are in fact occult magicians. The occult magician will use his or her occult powers to ensnare the devotee in a posture of adoration by feeding them visionary experiences, which may seem to open things up for the devotee but actually keeps one dependent on the guru. It’s a kind of drug pushing as dangerous on the spiritual level as cocaine or heroin is on the physical. Because people don’t know the difference between the divine and the occult, nor how accurately the occult can mimic the divine, nor how easily occult powers can be cultivated by the unscrupulous and ambitious. They take these powers and experiences to be unmistakable signs of divine presence and go on worshipping as divine these people who have, in fact, shown that they are neither good, nor kind, nor humble, nor generous.”

Andrew’s description perfectly illustrates how the occult can easily mimic the Divine and ensnare both the student and the teacher alike.

Because of my knowledge of the ruse-of-the-story behind the brothers and the deceptions of Nome & Russell Smith it gradually became too dangerous for me to remain at SAT as those teachers feared the rest of the sangha, especially the Indians, would find out.

To this day, there are a handful of people who had been there since their late teens and 20’s. And quite a few who have consistently given their entire salaries and so much of their time. Of course, the Indians, who Nome wanted to help the most, had to be shielded from what I knew.

When asked about my reporting Nome resorted to the standard refrain for all deflectors stating: “She’s lying.”

Right before the end of my time at SAT Nome stated, in silence, a warning which would come true and which would affect every single aspect of this life and the lives of my family.  

He said: “The hardest thing for you will be to not be able to be in a relationship.”

This would be the very beginning of the once-benevolent siddis turning deeply-malevolent and existentially controlling.

In that moment, of course, I had no idea what he was referring to, but I will never forget that silent statement. It would only be after I had left, and after several sessions with a handful of respected seer-healers and medical intuitives that each, independently, told me an “auric block” had been placed in my field for purposes of restricting relationships.

Although that ‘auric block’ would mean ALL relationships (I was isolated for a decade+ with the exception of those forming an airtight space of collusion and complicity) it would be primarily intimate relationships, for obvious reasons.

And while there were three men (two of whom were sent via Nome/Adyashanti) those ‘companions’ would only work as long as I betrayed myself.

The existential restriction of intimate relationships would, ultimately affect every single area of my life:

  • personal
  • mental/emotional/psychological
  • physical
  • spiritual
  • familial
  • financial etc.

It was the beginning of what has been described as a “soul murder” akin to being “buried alive.”

Those descriptions, by Aile Shebar, of what happened in this life are excruciatingly accurate descriptions to the feeling-sense and the depth of psychological agony.

This was the very beginning of when non-dual teachers made the agreed-upon decision…across the full non-dual teaching spectrum (including Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi and many others)…to place the entirety of the burden for their lies-and-deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family, literally ripping my family apart…silencing and isolating me (under a death threat) for a decade+…to ensure those lies would never become public knowledge.

During the “Compression Years” (an actual description used by those at SAT) from 2013-2015, in which Adyashanti played a major role, a “psychic implant” was planted in the right side of my brain.

Again, at that time, I had no idea what a ‘psychic implant’ was nor had I ever heard of such a thing. The seer who pointed it out during a session stated that a “psychic implant” is used for purposes of extreme, existential surveillance, allowing the host to see-with-your-eyes, hear-with-your-ears, etc…

Again, seer-healers and medical intuitives, all independently pointed-out the implant out as did, oddly, a medical MRI.

(There were SO many covering for the brand of Adyashanti: people who were intent on shielding him from the possible fallout should any of what I was being forced to hold…lies that were not mine and for a teaching I did not believe in…happen to come to light.

As The universe would have it, I had numerous connections with people who were complicit in their collusion with these teachers, and the vast majority of them I had photos of.

The following link indicates some of those connected with, and covering for, Adyashanti…many who I met with in-person:

⚛️ Coffee Lane and the many engaging in sweeping deception (scroll down on this page to see the photo images): https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/coffee-lane-and-the-two-years-prior-to-moving-to-portland-december-2015-july-2018-%e2%9c%be/

It would also be during this time of the ‘compression years’ that I realized my family was, also, being manipulated (details of which I will not relay on a public platform.)

At the time, I felt I had to succumb to such controls.

Objecting to ‘spiritual authority’ absolutely felt foreign to this devoted heart.

The notion that I could possibly have the self-respect to stop this or even report on what was occurring would not arrive until much later.

No doubt this was from the MANY times Nome stressed that to betray or harm in any way, a self-realized Master, would end up in devastating karma.

⚛️ The Ultimate Demise of Fundamentalist Spirituality…The Arrogance of Superiority: https://leslieread.substack.com/…/the-ultimate-demise…

Over time, I became aware of the fact that these teachers were using my family to blackmail me further into silence, on top of the already placed ‘auric block’ and ‘psychic implant.’

Historically, and with certain spiritual traditions, teachers have manipulated families of seekers in order to achieve certain spiritual goals. In contemporary culture this is, now, considered criminal abuse.

About 10 years ago Nome’s wife Sasvati (a siddha master in her own right) appeared in the line at the Santa Cruz Costco a couple rows down from me. She was with her two daughters and laughing unusually loudly so as to get my attention.

The message was abundantly clear: if I surrendered, I’d be reunited with my daughter and son…who I already knew were being manipulated and controlled by siddis (occult controls) in their communication with me. However, surrender is always to The Truth and never to lies, deceptions and control-over-others.

The controls over my family have been on-going…and long-term.                                                

Nome…(Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji etc) definitely did not want the ‘information’ I was holding to be shared, in any way, with my two kids…especially my daughter. These teachers all had their hands in the ‘Compression Years’…and in the deliberate ripping apart of my family.

Ultimately, it would be my family that would be the prime reason, of course, for ALL of my reporting.

These teachers truly felt confident in their feeling that what had occurred to me, was far too complex to report on, and improbable to prove. (My reporting is primarily for those who already know I am telling the truth! This reporting is basically serving as a mirror.) Additionally, Nome certainly counted on a highly-devoted heart, not only to these teachers, but to so-called ‘awakening’ teachings.

In some sense, that was all very true.

It would take me many, many years to gain enough self-respect to stop acquiescing and follow the Guidance of Spirit and Source in the unwinding of such an existential control.

I remember lying in bed at the Coffee Lane apartment, feeling utterly helpless about the state of this life and the immensity of control… a type of control that I was aware of for the entire past two decades. My life had, literally, been taken.

Two years later, I would move to Portland, which would give me the physical space away from the vast numbers of people in Santa Cruz who had been lying directly to me regarding their knowledge of my former teachers and of what had occurred.

Matt Licata described my ‘situation’ as a “cosmic betrayal” — indicating the immense scope of the betrayal.

⚛️ The Tangled Web of Deception: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-tangled-web-of-deception

The move to Portland would interrupt the physical surveillance and the betrayal by many in that community. But the move would have zero effect on the actual siddis which became dramatically worse after the move to Portland. After I arrived in Portland, there ensued being, literally, stalked by the occult – stalked by siddis.

It was during this time that my health began deteriorating to the point where I thought I could easily die from high blood pressure. This was the result of the enormous stress of being stalked…and from enduring an exceedingly high debt-level on high-interest credit cards to pay my living expenses and ensure my reporting could begin, which it did in early 2019.

Nothing was bringing that HBP down and I could not explain it to the physician.

What would I say?! I’m being stalked by siddis??

This stress would continue from 2018 thru the middle of 2025 when I finally stopped the fawning in my expressed, written voice…when my voice became much more aligned with an inner self-respect.

Notably this important turning point was also when I began my writing on Substack. It was as if I had to move the platform of my writing…a move away from my website…to clear-out even more energy from the past.

⚛️ Carl Jung: Individuation….and the Empath’s Road Back to Their Authentic Self: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/carl-jung-individuation

It would only be through the interior Guidance of Spirit, and the downloads I received, that I would continue in my reporting.

Non-dual teachers were willing to, literally, take someone’s life instead of owning-their-actions…and they felt they could hide it with the unseen powers of the occult within an airtight community.

⚛️ This link describes (only the benevolent of) Osho’s occult powers…courtesy the late Mamaji: https://www.oshonews.com/2011/12/27/16th-karmapa-about-osho/ (Nome was hugely influenced by Osho. The above link explains many of the identical benevolent siddis that both these teachers held. And yet, like with any duality, that attribute includes darkness as well.)

I could never quite reconcile the ‘awakening’ of my former teachers with what I was seeing with my own eyes and empathic sense, namely the lies, deceptions, and some very obvious sexual abuses that are now being reported on (aka Deepak) and which were clearly evident within the Osho cult.

⚛️ The Cult of Radical Non-Duality: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-cult-of-non-duality

⚛️ Inside Osho’s controversial cult – The dark side of the Rajneesh movement (Full Documentary, 2013): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6UVw7M5tlo

In light of that, I fully agree with Jeffrey Wolf Green’s assessment of Osho as a ‘sexually awakened’ person and not a ‘spiritually enlightened’ one. I do believe that was the case with Nome and the many who occupy the non-dual arena.

(Jeffrey Wolf Green, Neptune: Whispers from Eternity, 2016, Osho example: pps. 139-150)

⚛️ ASI LETTER (Association for Spiritual ‘Integrity’) 03/06/2023 at the end of which is a link to a short recording (22 min.) detailing the occult controls over 4-generations of my family… to which Rick Archer said to just walk away: https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0&e=1&fbclid=IwAR2hNCDCiHgzRQrXqce9WFFH5vgHGHoGlda3PUlGKT2n1qMuoFfoMadMbvs

Thank you for following my work. 🌷

Please feel free to contact me with any questions or to share your own experiences. ❦

Warmly, Leslie@integrityintruth.com

⚛️ Integrity in Truth https://www.integrityintruth.com

And on substack: https://substack.com/@leslieread/posts

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Patriarchal Neti-Neti: The Ultimate Tragedy of Dissociation & Spiritual Bypassing…

enabling abuse & control-over-others


After I left the non-dual teachings I was involved with for over 20+ years, it became obvious to me that, in those teachings, my only value as a Human was as a transcendent one. 
In a nutshell, that opened wide-the-door for existential harm and control-over-others. 

From the very beginning, I was never down with ANY delineation of real-and-unreal, inside-and-outside… nor the elimination of such as: “you’re not the body, senses or mind;” the world is unreal; nothing-ever-happens (ajata) etc.

⚛️ Ajata and the wide-open-door-to-abuse: https://integrityintruth.com/ajata-and-the-wide-open-door-to-abuse/

WHY?

Firstly, it’s untrue.

Secondly, exactly who draws the line between real-and-unreal? And where do they draw it??

Thirdly, and perhaps the most important: in eliminating the body-senses-world you are eliminating the most efficacious routes to your true nature!!

As soon as anything is separated out from the Whole we are already skating-on-thin-ice. This is especially so if the renunciation is done at the bequest of spiritual leaders, as was the case in the ancient advaitic practice of renunciation known as Neti-Neti. This wholesale-elimination practice was adopted by many in the neo-Advaita space of contemporary non-duality…opening WIDE-the-door for harm, abuse and control-over-others.

Additionally, this wholesale renunciation led to sweeping judgements-of-others…literally, anyone who fell ‘outside’ the norms of such a rigid world-view. After 2 decades+ in such a dogmatic teaching I still, to this day, find myself pulling back from certain situations or thoughts or people as though some invisible line-in-the-sand exists…anywhere.

⚛️ Denial and the Duality-of-Non-duality: https://integrityintruth.com/denial-the-duality-of-non-duality/

In the early days following my arrival at SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth, Santa Cruz, CA) I was encouraged to renounce my family. (read that again!)

Historically, and with certain spiritual traditions, teachers have manipulated families-of-seekers in order to achieve certain spiritual goals.

In the early 90’s, renunciation and the path-of-siddas, became a ‘thing’ at SAT and the discourses were largely centered on the renunciation of everything…everything. The world, your body/senses/mind were ALL entirely “unreal.” And while the real meaning of “unreal” was understood to mean “not separate” it never-the-less led to the dangerous hypocrisy of the split-mind.

During one Satsang I raised my hand and asked point-blank: “Are we truly meant to be automatons??” My question was dismissed.

That teaching dismissed the very thing — our body – which is, ultimately, the most efficacious portal to Presence and transcendence (if transcendence is your goal). This transcendence-addicted approach was largely equated with spiritual evolution. Is true awakening really marked by transcendent states pervaded with bypassing, dissociation and spiritual materialism?

Is that what awakening is??

In an early private with Nome, I asked about this need to dismiss the entirety of our experience as “unreal” and stating how that did not resonate with my prior experience as a young girl. Surprisingly, Nome’s answer to me was “You must have renounced in a prior lifetime.” (From then on this devoted heart relied on the inner teaching and silence which was vastly different than what was being presented in the public talks. I would, later, be the scapegoat for those outer teachings that I never believed in).

⚛️ The Scapegoat Phenomenon…Involving Sensitive Souls and Empaths: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-scapegoat-phenomenon

⚛️ The Mystery of Past Lives: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-mystery-of-past-lives)

Nome’s answer certainly rang true, yet his current teaching should have been my indication that this was never meant to be my path where, ever since my childhood, everything was included. From a naturally devoted heart (likely from prior lifetimes) I would enter states of what is now commonly called ‘flow’ and ‘bliss.’ Yet, from the beginning, Nome was touted as the only ‘awake’ teacher in this country…and there was a deep heart connection from which his internal communication flowed.

Additionally, and as Russ pointed out, this renunciate approach was successfully taught within an airtight insularity that is often found in cults. While I believe this was never overtly felt by the members of SAT that control was/is very much the case. In SO many, if not ALL, ways…this deliberate separation can harm one for life.

No doubt the wholesale rejection-of-everything would spiritually justify Nome’s decision to, later, place an “auric block” in my field restricting relations – primarily intimate relationships – ensuring his lies and deceptions would never become public knowledge. That occult move would affect every area of this life: mental, emotional, spiritual, relational, financial – everything.

(Unmarried Woman by Wojtek Kowalski who does paintings from an ‘internal need.’This was the feeling of when an ‘auric block’ was deliberately placed in my field to prevent relations, primarily intimate ones, and the devastating effects on every.single.area.of this life…ALL because those teachers felt justified due to this un-natural separating-out from the Divine Order and the bypassing of such.)

While many of us never heard of the other contemporary non-dual teachers, as we were told Nome was the only realized teacher, when the mention of U. G. Krishnamurti came up Russ chimed-in with “How many people actually realize with such a non-teaching as Krishnamurti’s??”

U.G. was the Indian “anti-guru.”

Only recently, I watched a video where Facebook friend David Solomon, who was close to U.G. Krisnamurti, discussed U.G.’s basic approach in this way: “I don’t see UG as ever suggesting that we should ‘throw anything out.’ He was about accepting the world and ourselves exactly as we are…and in doing that, Life takes over and blossoms in its own natural Way. One’s own Life and what grows around that.

UG was not only staunchly promoting that everyone be themselves but recognizing all of Life around us has a right to be what IT is too. And to accept the Wisdom of our bodies, and accept the Wisdom of the natural world.”

It had always been my deep feeling that our body and, hence, the world was the most efficacious route to Freedom. So, it followed that all the talk of the body…the senses…and the world being unreal dragged any process of integration out for years, and, often, decades.

Not only was neti-neti inefficient and out-dated, it revealed so much of the utter hypocrisy of what radical non-duality actually is: the undeniable duality of non-duality.

⚛️ The Existential Danger of Radical Non-Duality: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-existential-danger-of-radical

“You know being around someone whose main objective in life was to NOT falsify himself…and doing his darndest to prevent us from doing that to ourselves. That’s just a Blessing… there is no explanation… I can’t imagine being any luckier than that.” ~David Solomon

Both the Krishnamurtis were against “A Way.” Every person had their own way.

The ‘way’ was about taking what comes one’s way in stride.

⚛️ The Case for Ultimate Independence:  https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-case-for-ultimate-independence

As Humans we live in this world…on this planet. Who, exactly, would draw any line and where would they draw it?

Jeff Brown said it fairly succinctly…and with a pardon for ALL the necessary f**k bombs…

Pamela Wilson (in the landmark book Ordinary Women, Extraordinary Wisdom, Spet. 28, 2007, by Rita Robinson) stated: “Not ‘neti-neti’ but ‘YES-i-YES-i’ ” A succinct statement revealing the subverted feminine-half of the spiritual journey and bringing it down to earth to embrace ALL of what it means to be Human. ❦

It’s my feeling that, at this point in our spiritual evolution, we are moving definitively away from any patriarchal paradigm and, perhaps, any need for an external teacher…and most certainly, away from the dogmatic approaches of many of them.

⚛️ The Ultimate Demise of Fundamentalist Spirituality…The Arrogance of Superiority: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-ultimate-demise-of-fundamentalist

There is no doubt that this life was/is arguably one of most disturbingly and existentially harmed (aside from the insidious accounts of sexual abuse seen in cults such as the Osho cult) not only by my immediate teachers but by the sweeping collusion in the non-dual space by teachers looking to protect their meal-ticket of teaching.

⚛️ The following short recording (22 min.) details the occult controls over 4-generations of my family to which Rick Archer (Buddha at the Gas Pump) suggested I just ‘walk away’ primarily because he was covering for Adya’s brand: https://www.dropbox.com/…/Recording%208B%20…

For my Astro-nerd friends, perhaps this will be signified by the momentous move of Neptune into Aries for the 1st time in 160 years, where it will stay until 2039 and where it will conjunct Saturn at the very beginning of the entire zodiacal wheel…something that hasn’t happened for over 9,000 years…THIS is the day I am typing this.

☯️ everything is already Whole and One

☯️ No need to separate anything out or figure out what, when, and where, how, to separate it out.

☯️ …or worse, be told WHAT to separate out (recently I was told that ‘activism’ isn’t holy!)

If we cannot actively stand-up for our most cherished values, how can we really call ourselves “spiritual?”

Thank you for following my work (and it has been work) in digging myself out from having been silenced (under a death threat)…and way more…at the hands of non-dual teachers.

Warmly,

-Leslie @integrityintruth.com ❦

⚛️ Integrity in Truth:  https://www.integrityintruth.com

⚛️ And on Substack: https://substack.com/@leslieread/posts

I wish I had written the following poem…posted by Glenna Erickson Bain on FaceBook:

It’s All Real…All of it. 🌷

~A Poem by Jordan Bates

Family, friends, animals, people, bodies, Earth, music, art, trees, soil, sun.

It’s Real.

It’s not an illusion.

God is not “generating an illusion of a world.”

No, God is being the world.

The world is the literal concrete Body and Heart of God.

It’s all Real.

Non-duality can so easily be used as a means of hiding from this Realness.

By writing the world off as “illusion,” the throbbing, gushing Heart of the world is kept at arm’s length.

By repeatedly asserting that “it’s all unreal,” “it’s all meaningless,” “there’s no one here,” “there is no body,” “there is no world”…

A subtle closed-off-ness can be allowed to persist.

By dismissing this universe as a mere “hologram” or “video game” or “theatrical production” or “movie appearing on the projection screen of consciousness”…

The soft animal-body of this cuddly life can be unconsciously rejected.

One can secretly block oneself from really-truly-deeply-viscerally noticing that the One Poem is written in flesh and bone.

When bones break, it doesn’t feel like a simple reformatting of pixels in a hologram.

When parents weep over the dead body of an innocent child, only a voice of confusion and coldness would ask them why they are grieving the loss of an imaginary character.

They’re grieving the loss of God.

A once-in-existence expression of God.

They’re Real, and their grief is Real.

When they grieve, God grieves.

When we suffer, God suffers.

When we are tortured, God is tortured.

When we are burned at the stake, God is burned at the stake.

When we are raped, God is raped.

When we die a slow and frightening death in a hospital on a ventilator, God dies this same slow and frightening death.

God is not “hiding in the Absolute” in perpetual non-attached, pain-free peace.

No, God is our attachment.

God is our pain.

God is our fear.

And God is also Absolute peace.

God feels it all, for God is all of it.

All of it.

It’s all Real.

True enlightenment is not to escape the human experience.

It is to arrive fully in the human experience.

To land fully on Earth, with a wide-open heart, ready to feel it all and respond wisely and compassionately.

To dig one’s feet into the ancient soil of our Mother, feel her pulsing heartbeat, and know She is Real.

Know She is God.

Know that her children are God.

Know that you are here to Serve Her.

By being exactly who you are.

Living true.

Fully, bravely, with an open heart.

Amen. 🙏

Posted on

The Rush to Transcendence…

About a decade+ into intense practice at SAT…and coming fresh off a retreat…I was going down-the-stairs to the basement dungeon where I packaged up book orders. I was beyond worried with how-on-earth I was going to do all the tasks that kept piling up. 

I was SO worried by the time I got down the stairs that I truly felt I would have a heart attack. 

Right then-and-there, I concentrated on the task in front of me and I instantly expanded out as pure Space…out to Pluto (and beyond) and became omni-present…I was the rock outside-the-door etc.

Shortly thereafter Nome calls the bookstore desk-phone and says “See? That wasn’t so hard!”

Unfortunately the story went downhill thereafter and I was segregated-out (via ‘character assassination’  ⚛️ https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/character-assassination/ ) for knowing too much about the brothers…until, ultimately, I had to be asked to leave lest the Indians catch wind of what the brothers had done by way of concocting a very elaborate story. 

In the ensuing decade+ this life would see every.single.aspect destroyed, controlled and monitored. This was done via the siddha occult practices of “auric block” (for extreme relational control, notably intimate relations), “psychic implant” (for existential surveillance) and extreme familial manipulation via siddis (occult control) to ensure this non-dual fast-track-to-transcendence would never be interrupted.

Shortly before leaving SAT for good, after a Sunday Satsang and during the final mediation, that glimpse of space was experienced again…this time through a simple and naturally focused attention. Nome immediately looked at me as though I was, somehow, supposed to ‘grab’ that state and plunge into enlightenment! 

My feeling, in the moment, was that it felt as though all the teachers were on some kind of “race-to-the-finish-line’ and that they would do anything to ensure people “wake up.” 

Nome was greatly influenced by Osho/Rajneesh and, in many of the less-sordid ways, patterned SAT after Osho’s teaching and organization. 

David Solomon who was with Osho in Pune and Eastern Oregon and later had a close connection with UG Krishnamurti, talked about Osho’s Rajneeshpuram “experiment to provoke God” in a similar vein:

“I believe (Gurdjieffian) devices were used by him to possibly awaken a few at the expense of the many. About that I’ve been very vocal myself. Real crimes against humanity were committed in an effort to bring about “the New Man.” No bueno.” (Emphasis added).

As with everything hidden, we are now seeing some of the more sordid aspects emerge with the now-grown children who were victims of neglect and sexual abuse during Rajneesh puram times finally speak out.

The salient and prophetic words of Ken Wilber here are very apt:

“Unless you are on a path that includes not only ‘waking up’…but ’growing-up’ AND ‘cleaning-up’…all 3-in-one package…you are going to get f**ked!! You WILL end up in a bad, bad way because one of these is going to go sour. That is THE major, unfortunate, path that the majority of people end up taking… and they end up wasting a life.” Samadhi does not, of course, address (ANY) shadow elements…in some cases it makes it *worse* as there is pure dis-identification.”

⚛️ The Existential Dangers of Pure Dis-Identification: https://integrityintruth.com/the-existential-dangers-of-pure-dis-identification/

A deeply insightful comment by my friend David Bingham…

“…I would like to add that in this modern age the Neo-Advaitan tradition of the truth existing ultimately in the sphere of the non-dual (which is followed by so many, with so many esteemed teachers ) is a deeply flawed model of understanding of the nature of the human condition and its relationship with the Infinite.  It is a form of understanding which has an in-built tendency to deeply exacerbate illusions concerning the experiences of life and in turn to generate rigidities around its interpretation.  In doing so it has great potential to be harmful to the fundamental well-being of its adherents, all the more so because it dresses itself in the clothes of liberation. It is a false and incomplete freedom of the age.”

No doubt what has occurred in this life is arguably one of more horrific and existentially harmful examples of the harm that can occur when non-dual teachers have not done their own internal work. While this situation does not include the typical breaches of integrity commonly known as sexual manipulations (and is, most certainly, not making light of such) this particular situation is far more pervasive, insidious, systemic and disturbing (of Integrity) in its use of over-arching lies, deceptions, cronyism involving collusion and coercion and the extreme misuse of high-level siddis (occult powers).

This is, sadly, the case before adequate inner work.

The rush to transcendence…

The following is an example (albeit extreme) of what can happen when teachers do not acknowledge and confront their own shadow(s):

⚛️ The ‘Compression Years’…of deliberate isolation and silencing (under threat)…in which Adyashanti played a key role: https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/

⚛️ Coffee Lane and the many engaging in sweeping deception: https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/coffee-lane-and-the-two-years-prior-to-moving-to-portland-december-2015-july-2018-%e2%9c%be/

⚛️ The systemic deception and collusion within the non-dual community: https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the…/

⚛️ The systemic deception and collusion within the non-dual community: https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the…/

⚛️ Paul Selig’s message that this ‘was not intentional to me’ yet the existential controls were most definitely intentional to me…and my family: https://integrityintruth.com/clarif…/the-move-to-portland/

⚛️ Letter to the ASI (Association for Spiritual ‘Integrity’): https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0&e=1&fbclid=IwAR2hNCDCiHgzRQrXqce9WFFH5vgHGHoGlda3PUlGKT2n1qMuoFfoMadMbvs

Thank you for following my work. ❦

Please feel free to contact me should you have anything to share related to this content or any questions: ⚛️ Leslie@integrityintruth.com

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The Case for Ultimate Independence…

“Tarot contains and expresses any doctrine to be found in our consciousness, and in this sense it has definiteness. It represents Nature in all the richness of its infinite possibilities, and there is in it as in Nature, not one but all potential meanings. And these meanings are fluent in ever-changing, so the Tarot cannot be specifically this or that, for it ever moves and yet is ever the same.“ ~ P. D. Ouspenskty, Russian Mathematician and Occultist, author of the Symbolism of the Tarot (1913).

We are now being called to internalize our Authority and to internalize our Sovereignty.

Not too long ago I sold, or gave away, seven heaping boxes of, primarily, patriarchal non-duality…the spiritual teachings of neti-neti.

Those teachings were never my own…they never resonated. My path is one where everything is included.

In so many ways, the teachings of neti-neti were presented as the only viable path to Truth…much in the same way that my former teacher, Nome, was presented as the only ‘awakened’ teacher in this country.

Some have called me “anti-teacher.” 🙂 

Yet…that was certainly never the case. This is a deeply devoted Heart to many teachers and, more importantly, to Freedom.

What I am “anti,”  or against, are teachers who lie, deceive and look to control others. No matter the reason…perhaps most especially if that reason appears to be a “lofty” one. At some point, I became the inadvertent ‘holder’ for the lies of an awakening ‘scheme’ — a scheme to awaken Humanity — throughout the non-dual community. The gigantic karmic load for those deceptions was deliberately foisted, solely, on these shoulders. The lies were so extensive as to require the complete control over this life…effectively blocking the Freedom this Soul demanded in this lifetime.

In a very real sense (and certainly what happened in this life), nihilistic, or radical non-duality is the perfect set-up for abuse.

The Dogma of Patriarchal Control: ⚛️ https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-dogma-of-patriarchal-control/

Both of my former teachers would occasionally denounce anything deemed as “New Age.”

Yet, it was/is those very modalities…such as crystals, the pendulum (or dousing), energy work (particularly daily clearing of the auric field), water (the medium for The Light), numerology (direct confirmations from Spirit/your Higher Self), intuitive Astrology (a past, present and future uncannily-accurate roadmap of your Soul — not ‘prescriptive’ as we have ‘free will), intuitive Tarot (deLightful and direct, channeled messaging from your Soul), the natural world and the magnificent healing properties that surround and permeate us.

Those modalities were, and are,  precisely the mechanisms that would, ultimately, extricate me from the existential controls…and the complex-web-of-lies…of my former teachers.

Our True Nature is easily channeled, and recognized, by the sincere Heart through a simple asking.…an on-going dialogue with The Universe.

It is the primary difference between the Patriarchal approach – and the hyper-hypocrisy of the dualism-of-non-duality…of the splitting (or separating out ) of anything, most especially our Humanity – and the Feminine, all inclusive, approach…where everything is (already) included…and always has been included.

The patriarchal separating out…or splitting-off…of our sacred Bodies and precious Minds effectively eliminated the most efficacious portals into transcendence (if transcendence is your goal). 

WHAT, on God’s Sacred Earth, needs transcending?!

The Existential Danger of Nihilistic, Radical Non-Duality: ⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/the-existential-danger-of-radical-non-duality/

The age of the external teacher, guide and/or Guru is rapidly drawing to a close: ending an era that spans generations and thousands of years…an era where there has been enormous benefit and an equally enormous — if not greater — calamity for many who fell into the abyss of abuse and control.

It’s the unfortunate downside of power…and of falling prey to a supposed power outside of our innate Divinity.

We have everything we need…inside of ourselves…for any Answer that would be forthcoming and beholden to Unconditional Love. No teacher, in the Human form, could possibly, ever, know the trajectory of any given Soul.

It is the rightful claiming of the birthright of our integral  sovereignty, creativity and authenticity.

Welcome Home. We have everything we need.

-Leslie Read

Please feel free to contact me should you have anything to share related to this content or any questions: ⚛️ Leslie@integrityintruth.com

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The Mistake of Equating Non-duality with Spirituality

For the past 30+ years I made the common mistake of many spiritual seekers: that of equating non-duality with awakening…and spirituality, in general.

That misconception, alone…greatly hindered me from even beginning to report on the existential harm that had occurred at the hands of non-dual teachers.

That misconception, alone…prevented me from accessing my own direct line to God, Source, Spirit. Accessing my own direct line, was critical, to gain the Guidance I needed as I found myself under existential control due to being the inadvertent ‘holder’ for the lies of non-dual teachers…teachers who were intent on protecting their brand at all costs…including the existential control over the lives of others.

While non-duality is a scientific fact it is not the sum-total of Spirituality.

Equating non-duality with Spirituality ensured that I would place all those who had ‘awakened to the non-dual truth’ as, somehow, authorities in the spiritual world. Their support in the, then, air-tight non-dual community on social media indicated I was ‘valued’ if I would remain supplicant to being silenced (under threat) and isolated. There was the dangerous, and false, notion that one can awaken to non-duality while being so heavily controlled. The karma of those teachers was quite literally…and deliberately…foisted on these shoulders to ensure the lies of my former teachers would never become public knowledge. (Adyashanti indicated to non-dual teacher, Susanne Marie, that I ought to be able to ‘awaken’ while continuing to hold the deceptions of those teachers.)

It was, by far, the vast majority of those that I knew to be ‘awake to non-duality’ who actually lied directly to me regarding their knowledge of my former teachers and of what occurred at their hands. The deceptions formed what Matt Licata described as a ‘cosmic betrayal.’ That description by Matt accurately indicated the vast scope of deception found in the non-dual space.

To this day Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver and Adyashanti have not owned their own lies surrounding the structuring of SAT, Great Freedom/Balanced View and Open Gate. Instead, they have structured a community of ‘truth’ bolstered and protected by SAND, BatGap, ASI etc…and have foisted the burden of their lies on these shoulders.

There is an extreme disconnect, on the Human level, that comes with defining ‘awakening’ solely as being ‘awake’ to non-duality.  We’ve all seen that one can be awake to Wholeness and yet that, in no way, means one is free from shadow or is somehow a balanced and decent Human. One can be awake to Oneness and still be creating delusions and, worse yet, harming others in the process.

I am arguably my own, most extreme, example of the harm that can occur at the hands of those ‘awake’ (solely) to non-duality. The example of my life was described by Aile Shebar as akin to being “buried alive.” That…is an accurate description.

Under the extreme duress of having been silenced, under threat, and isolated, I began…after much initial resistance which had been programmed by Nome…to look into various ‘new age’ modalities to help dig-out from under such a controlling quagmire. I became firm in my resolve that I would use anything that would help.

Additionally…especially in response to the very real stalking via siddis (occult powers)…I amassed what I refer to as my Spirit Family. This ‘Spirit Family’ was comprised of eleven (11) Beings consisting of Arch-Angels, Creator Beings, The Christ and Mary and several other Spiritual heavy-weights of historical significance who were special to me on my path.

More particularly, since my move to Portland, OR…when this siddhic (occult) pushback greatly intensified, primarily as existential intimidation…I began a daily practice of clearing my ‘auric field’ of shadow that was not natively my own. If I had one piece of advice…it would be to clear your aura daily.

⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/coffee-lane-and-the-two-years-prior-to-moving-to-portland-december-2015-july-2018-%e2%9c%be/

⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-move-to-portland/

Out of desperation…and feeling woefully inadequate to deal with high-level siddhis aimed directly at me for malevolent purposes (siddhis can, literally, do anything)… I prayed to the entirety of my Guides daily. I made a practice of addressing-them-by-name as it was/is my feeling that being very specific to who you are praying to is far more efficacious than addressing The Universe at large!

This dynamic was a process that unfolded over time…with a learning and listening-curve. Bit-by-bit the answers would come. The Guidance was, most typically, felt in the form ‘download.’ This ‘download’ would come in the form of a tapestry-of-information, incoming, all-at-once.

The gist of that ‘information’ was deeply Supportive…to continue on with what I was doing.

As with any learning curve outside our 3D reality it’s the remembering…and trusting…of the messages that is the trickiest. Over time the messages…and Messengers… became clear enough. The Support felt real enough.

The Guidance was clear: to finally name-the-names of the teachers involved and then, later, the many who were complicit in covering for their actions.

I was being encouraged by Spirit to report on those who I had, at one time, considered to be the ‘highest.’

If Spirit was encouraging me to speak-out about harm at the hands of non-dual teachers…then what did THAT say about the state of ‘awakening’ of all those I was reporting on?!?

Warmly, ~Leslie ❣️

Please feel free to contact me should you have anything to share related to this content or any questions: ⚛️ Leslie@IntegrityInTruth.com

Aso on Substack… https://leslieread.substack.com/

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The Insidious Need to Control…

…and those who would cover for such actions.

Clipped…

What happens when the patriarchy feels it can dominate and control the lives of others…?

❤️???

https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/

and, of course, the later post concerning the existential controls of major patriarchal teachers such as Nome and Osho:

https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-dogma-of-patriarchal-control/

(Gratitude to this unknown Artist) 

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Ajata…and the Wide-Open-Door-to-Abuse

Ajata…radical Non-Duality or ‘nothing-ever-occurred’…is a dangerous understanding without equal ‘weight’ given to the fact-of-our-Humanity and the responsibility of living in a human form.

The demonstrative avoidance and downright negation of the entirety our humanity as demonstrated by radical non-duality, is the single-most harmful aspect…leaving wide-open-the-door for actual abuse…in what is commonly referred to awakening teachings. 

⚛️ The Existential Danger of Radical Non-Duality: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-existential-danger-of-radical

⚛️ The Existential Dangers of Pure Dis-Identification: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-existential-dangers-of-pure-dis?r=ze3ip

Around the time of 2011…and after I had received an internal death threat should I ever speak out…there was a profound letting-go of thought where I experienced ajata, or the state that nothing ever happens. 

I so wanted to return to that place as I was now beginning to realize that I had been made the “fall guy” for the lies and deceptions of my teachers…where my life would be forever controlled

That experience of Ajata was BEFORE an ‘auric block,’ ‘psychic implant,’ and numerous other existentially controlling devices and plans were put in place to ensure the lies of my former teachers would never become public knowledge. 

Those controls locked me out of any “transcendent plane” and profoundly shifted my view of what true ‘awakening’ actually is. 

Later…much later...I would come to know that these controls were in play with the full collusion across the entire non-dual spectrum. 

⚛️ The Unseen Use of Spiritual Power (Siddis) for Control-Over-Others…in Contemporary Non-dual Teachings: http://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-unseen-use-of-spiritual-power

And the subsequent need for the covering of actual criminality for the entirety of the non-dual structure such as we find in:

⚛️ The smokescreen-of-oversight with the ‘Association for Spiritual Integrity’ (ASI): https://integrityintruth.com/the-smokescreen-of-oversight/

Lies, and the cover-up of such, involve an arrogance that ultimately is the demise of all fundamentalism.


⚛️ The Ultimate Demise of Fundamentalist Spirituality…The Arrogance of Superiority: https://open.substack.com/pub/leslieread/p/the-ultimate-demise-of-fundamentalist?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

Please feel free to contact me at Leslie@IntegrityInTruth.com with any questions. ❦

(Photo image: The sum total of Nome’s teaching of radical non-duality.)