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The Rush to Transcendence…

About a decade+ into intense practice at SAT…and coming fresh off a retreat…I was going down-the-stairs to the basement dungeon where I packaged up book orders. I was beyond worried with how-on-earth I was going to do all the tasks that kept piling up. 

I was SO worried by the time I got down the stairs that I truly felt I would have a heart attack. 

Right then-and-there, I concentrated on the task in front of me and I instantly expanded out as pure Space…out to Pluto (and beyond) and became omni-present…I was the rock outside-the-door etc.

Shortly thereafter Nome calls the bookstore desk-phone and says “See? That wasn’t so hard!”

Unfortunately the story went downhill thereafter and I was segregated-out (via ‘character assassination’) for knowing too much about the brothers…until, ultimately, I had to be asked to leave lest the Indians catch wind of what the brothers had done by way of concocting a very elaborate story. (In the ensuing decade+ this life would see every.single.aspect destroyed, controlled and monitored to ensure this non-dual fast-track would not be interrupted.)

Shortly before leaving SAT for good, after a Sunday Satsang and during the final mediation, that glimpse of space was experienced again…this time through a simple and naturally focused attention. Nome immediately looked at me as though I was, somehow, supposed to ‘grab’ that state and plunge into enlightenment! 

My feeling, in the moment, was that it felt as though all the teachers were on some kind of “race-to-the-finish-line’ and that they would do anything to ensure people “wake up.” 

Nome was greatly influenced by Osho/Rajneesh and, in many of the less-sordid ways, patterned SAT after Osho’s teaching and organization. 


David Solomon who was with Osho in Pune and Eastern Oregon and later had a close connection with UG Krishnamurti, talked about Osho’s Rajneeshpuram “experiment to provoke God” in a similar vein:

“I believe (Gurdjieffian) devices were used by him to possibly awaken a few at the expense of the many. About that I’ve been very vocal myself. Real crimes against humanity were committed in an effort to bring about “the New Man.” No bueno.” (Emphasis added).

As with everything hidden, we are now seeing some of the more sordid aspects emerge with the now-grown children who were victims of neglect and sexual abuse during Rajneesh puram times finally speak out.

The salient and prophetic words of Ken Wilber here are very apt:

“Unless you are on a path that includes not only ‘waking up’…but ’growing-up’ AND ‘cleaning-up’…all 3-in-one package…you are going to get f**ked!! You WILL end up in a bad, bad way because one of these is going to go sour. That is THE major, unfortunate, path that the majority of people end up taking… and they end up wasting a life.” Samadhi does not, of course, address (ANY) shadow elements…in some cases it makes it *worse* as there is pure dis-identification.”

⚛️ The Existential Dangers of Pure Dis-Identification: https://integrityintruth.com/the-existential-dangers-of-pure-dis-identification/

A deeply insightful comment by my friend David Bingham…

“…I would like to add that in this modern age the Neo-Advaitan tradition of the truth existing ultimately in the sphere of the non-dual (which is followed by so many, with so many esteemed teachers ) is a deeply flawed model of understanding of the nature of the human condition and its relationship with the Infinite.  It is a form of understanding which has an in-built tendency to deeply exacerbate illusions concerning the experiences of life and in turn to generate rigidities around its interpretation.  In doing so it has great potential to be harmful to the fundamental well-being of its adherents, all the more so because it dresses itself in the clothes of liberation. It is a false and incomplete freedom of the age.”

No doubt what has occurred in this life is arguably one of more horrific and existentially harmful examples of the harm that can occur when non-dual teachers have not done their own internal work. While this situation does not include the typical breaches of integrity commonly known as sexual manipulations (and is, most certainly, not making light of such) this particular situation is far more pervasive, insidious, systemic and disturbing (of Integrity) in its use of over-arching lies, deceptions, cronyism involving collusion and coercion and the extreme misuse of high-level siddis (occult powers).

This is, sadly, the case before adequate inner work.

The rush to transcendence…

The following is an example (albeit extreme) of what can happen when teachers do not acknowledge and confront their own shadow(s):

⚛️ The ‘Compression Years’…of deliberate isolation and silencing (under threat)…in which Adyashanti played a key role: https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/

⚛️ Coffee Lane and the many engaging in sweeping deception: https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/coffee-lane-and-the-two-years-prior-to-moving-to-portland-december-2015-july-2018-%e2%9c%be/

⚛️ The systemic deception and collusion within the non-dual community: https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the…/

⚛️ The systemic deception and collusion within the non-dual community: https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the…/

⚛️ Paul Selig’s message that this ‘was not intentional to me’ yet the existential controls were most definitely intentional to me…and my family: https://integrityintruth.com/clarif…/the-move-to-portland/

⚛️ Letter to the ASI (Association for Spiritual ‘Integrity’): https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0&e=1&fbclid=IwAR2hNCDCiHgzRQrXqce9WFFH5vgHGHoGlda3PUlGKT2n1qMuoFfoMadMbvs

Thank you for following my work. ❦

If you have any questions or comments please feel free to email me at: Leslie@integrityintruth.com

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The Tyranny of (the) Now…and other Spiritual Concepts

As many of you know, I’ve been reporting on the existential controls that can, and do, exist with non-dual teachers/teachings.

These controls have a surreptitious way of being masked and hidden especially under the cloak of numerous spiritual concepts.

As the Zen saying goes “Though gold dust is precious, when it gets in the eyes, it obstructs the sight.”

Born out of (the) fading patriarchal non-duality there have been many spiritual concepts that have ensured the silencing of those who have been harmed by certain authoritarian-leaning spiritual groups.

Concepts such as using one’s own discernment derided as ‘judgement’…feeling the forbidden anger at deliberate abuse (sexual or otherwise) and facing the love-and-light crowd…pre-mature forgiveness where there has been zero accountability…and the list goes on….and on.

It is in situations of harm at the hands of teachers, that there is often gaslighting….using the very teachings themselves (especially with regard to stories)… to ensure the truth never gets told.

However, there are very few spiritual concepts as potent and as radically dogmatic as the ‘tyranny of The Now’ (a perfection of descriptive words attributable to the great poet David Whyte) in silencing those who have an important ‘story-to-tell.’

Some stories need to be told…especially stories that reveal abuse at the hands of spiritual teachers.“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ~ Maya Angelou 

There was/is the absolute necessity of telling-the-facts-of-a-story (some describe this with, yet another, spiritual concept of ‘blame’) …a process needed for removing the mantle of victimhood (there are indeed victims)…and of coming into a birthright of genuine authenticity.

I like what David Whyte has to say about this ‘tyranny of the now’ stuff:

“Maturity is the ability to live fully and equally in multiple contexts; most especially, the ability to courageously inhabit the past, the present, and the future all at once; the wisdom that comes from maturity is recognized through a disciplined refusal to choose between or isolate three powerful dynamics shaping human identity: what has already happened, what is happening now and what is about to occur. 

Immaturity is shown by making false choices: living only in the past, or only in the present, or only in the future, or even, living only two out of the three.” ~ David Whyte

  • -Presence is available in an important recounting (most especially of harm and abuse) and healing of the past; 
  • Presence is available in this here-now…and 
  • Presence is necessarily available in the planning-for-a-future.
  • In all 3-timelines Presence is the common denominator…in all time-space(s). And, for Humans, healing in all three is necessary. 

“The victim who is able to articulate the situation of the victim has ceased to be a victim: he or she has become a threat.” ~James Baldwin

In an on-line conversation with spiritual teacher Rita Friedman she responded to the very beginning of my recounting the harm by saying:

“Those caught within this particular out-of-integrity drama (https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/), will have reckoning, trust me. 

You may be one of those vehicles for reckoning but if there is you, there are others as well, and that is a strong karmic push that will occur.

Even if you never said a word, it would…and will…occur. But I suspect that it is there so that you can burn off the mantle of victimhood.

You are doing what you are designed to do as part of that burn off.” ~Rita Friedman

And THAT may be precisely why there are so many spiritual concepts around our precious individuation…it’s a potential threat against what is commonly known as ‘patriarchal, radical non-duality.’ 

The following link describes the existential danger of radical non-duality: https://integrityintruth.com/the-existential-danger-of-radical-non-duality/

Timelines do not wield a stronger power over the Power-of-Presence. Attention is our super-power.

Thank you for reading…Warmly,

-Leslie@ integrityintruth.com

(Image: Presence, courtesy Bing Images)

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The Existential Dangers of Pure Dis-Identification…

In a private (taped) session with one of my teachers (Russell Smith) I was told I would “fall through the cracks.”

At the time I had no idea what Russ was referring to. But, now, so much is clear regarding the deceptions, lies, systemic collusion and the over-arching occult (siddi) controls of Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver…hugely aided by Adyashanti, Gangaji, Bentinho and so many others in the non-dual community colluding in what is, undoubtedly, one of the largest (although, certainly, not the only) of existential breaches among so-called teachers of “truth.” 

While non-duality is a Fact-of-The-Universe…there are far too many teachers, who at the moment of an ‘awakening…whether via teachers/Gurus, NDE’s, the breathe or their own innate Presence…see the enormous possibilities of teaching before there has been any thorough integration of such an awakening.

As Nome used to say ‘There’s nothing to integrate.’ 

That said it all.

In the words of Ken Wilber:

“Unless you are on a path that includes not only ‘waking up’…but ’growing-up’ AND ‘cleaning-up’…all 3-in-one package…you are going to get f**ked!!

You WILL end up in a bad…bad way because one of these is going to go sour.

That is THE major, unfortunate, path that the majority of people end up taking… and they end up wasting a life.”

Samadhi does not, of course, address (ANY) shadow elements…in some cases it makes it worse as there is pure dis-identification.

No doubt what has occurred in this life is arguably one of more horrific and existentially harmful examples of the harm that can occur when teachers have not done their own internal work.

🌿💔🔥💫


The systemic deception within the non-dual community: https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the…/


Paul Selig’s message that this ‘was not intentional to me’ yet the existential controls were most definitely intentional to me: https://integrityintruth.com/clarif…/the-move-to-portland/


The role of Adyashanti: https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the…/


Letter to the ASI (The Association of Spiritual ‘Integrity’): https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0&e=1&fbclid=IwAR2hNCDCiHgzRQrXqce9WFFH5vgHGHoGlda3PUlGKT2n1qMuoFfoMadMbvs


You are your own healer: https://integrityintruth.com/you-are-your-own-healer/


(Photo image taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland) https://integrityintruth.com/photo-gallery/

Thank you for following this blog. Your interest is so deeply appreciated. ❣️❧

Feel free to email me at: Leslie@integrityintruth.com should you have any questions or comments.

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The Case for Ultimate Independence…

We are now being called to internalize our Authority and to internalize our Sovereignty.

Not too long ago I sold, or gave away, seven heaping boxes of, primarily, patriarchal non-duality…the spiritual teachings of neti-neti.

Those teachings were never my own…they never resonated.

In so many ways, those teachings were presented as the only viable path to Truth…much in the same way that my former teacher, Nome, was presented as the only ‘awakened’ teacher in this country.

Some have called me “anti-teacher.” 🙂 

Yet…that was certainly never the case. This is a deeply devoted Heart to many teachers and, more importantly, to Freedom.

What I am “anti,”  or against, are teachers who lie, deceive and look to control others. No matter the reason…perhaps most especially if that reason appears to be a “lofty” one. At some point, I became the inadvertent ‘holder’ for the lies of an awakening ‘scheme’ — a scheme to awaken Humanity — throughout the non-dual community. The gigantic karmic load for those deceptions was deliberately foisted, solely, on these shoulders. The lies were so extensive as to require the complete control over this life…effectively blocking the Freedom this Soul demanded in this lifetime.

In a very real sense (and certainly what happened in this life), nihilistic, or radical non-duality is the perfect set-up for abuse.

https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-dogma-of-patriarchal-control/

Both of my former teachers would occasionally denounce anything deemed as “New Age.”

Yet, it was/is those very modalities…such as crystals, the pendulum (or dousing), energy work (particularly daily clearing of the auric field), water (the medium for The Light), numerology (direct confirmations from Spirit/your Higher Self), intuitive Astrology (a past, present and future uncannily-accurate roadmap of your Soul — not ‘prescriptive’ as we have ‘free will), intuitive Tarot (deLightful and direct, channeled messaging from your Soul), the natural world and the magnificent healing properties that surround and permeate us.

Those modalities were, and are,  precisely the mechanisms that would, ultimately, extricate me from the existential controls…and the complex-web-of-lies…of my former teachers.

Our True Nature is easily channeled, and recognized, by the sincere Heart through a simple asking.…an on-going dialogue with The Universe.

It is the primary difference between the Patriarchal approach – and the hyper-hypocrisy of the dualism-of-non-duality…of the splitting (or separating out ) of anything, most especially our Humanity – and the Feminine, all inclusive, approach…where everything is (already) included…and always has been included.

The patriarchal separating out…or splitting-off…of our sacred Bodies and precious Minds effectively eliminated the most efficacious portals into transcendence (if transcendence is your goal). 

WHAT, on God’s Sacred Earth, needs transcending?!

https://integrityintruth.com/the-existential-danger-of-radical-non-duality/

The age of the external teacher, guide and/or Guru is rapidly drawing to a close: ending an era that spans generations and thousands of years…an era where there has been enormous benefit and an equally enormous — if not greater — calamity for many who fell into the abyss of abuse and control.

It’s the unfortunate downside of power…and of falling prey to a supposed power outside of our innate Divinity.

We have everything we need…inside of ourselves…for any Answer that would be forthcoming and beholden to Unconditional Love. No teacher, in the Human form, could possibly, ever, know the trajectory of any given Soul.

It is the rightful claiming of the birthright of our integral  sovereignty, creativity and authenticity.

Welcome Home. We have everything we need.

-Leslie Read

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Cult Behavior in the Non-Dual Sphere…and the Sweeping Dynamic of Control and Betrayal

When Nome and Russell Smith of SAT (Society of Abidance in Truth) decided to split their teachings…and remove those who might be jealous of the pending marriage of Nome…Russ was working with Candace O’Denver to establish the relatively new Great Freedom…later known as Balanced View.

All three — Nome, Russ and Candace —  knew that I had “fallen through the cracks” — the words of Russell from a taped private session.

Over the years, as my understanding of the actual scope of deception and collusion in the non-dual space deepened…along with the courage of a newly opened expression….I began to openly talk of exactly how widespread this collusion was.  Essentially, I had nothing left to loose.

There was a very big reason why Nome chose to silence me (under threat), why he chose to use an ‘auric block’ for extreme relational isolation and a ‘psychic implant’ for extreme, existential surveillance AND, ultimately, why he chose to enlist the complicity of those in the non-dual space to join him in covering for his lies.

For, ultimately, IF I spoke-up the entire non-dual house-of-cards regarding the dogmatic ‘unreality-of-the-world’…and numerous other extreme spiritual concepts (known as radical non-duality)…would collapse.

It is this aspect of control that comprises THE primary ingredient of cults. 

In many ways…even so-called “liberating” teachings exhibit truly organized cult behavior on a large scale. In the words of Facebook Friend David Bingham (himself a teacher): 

“I would like to add that in this modern age the Neo-Advaitan tradition of the truth existing ultimately in the sphere of the non-dual (which is followed by so many,  with so many esteemed teachers ) is a deeply flawed model of understanding of the nature of the human condition and its relationship with the Infinite.  

It is a form of understanding which has an in-built tendency to deeply exacerbate illusions concerning the experiences of life and in turn to generate rigidities around its interpretation. In doing so it has great potential to be harmful to the fundamental well-being of its adherents, all the more so because it dresses itself in the clothes of liberation. It is a false and incomplete freedom of the age.”

David is a rare voice of Brilliance in the non-dual world.

Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, and a handful of others formed the basic skeletal structure, as we know it, of non-duality in the US…out of which branched such supportive services as SAND, BatGap, ASI etc…all very protective of keeping this particular ‘story’ of what happened in this life…and the protection of their deceptions…under wraps. 

The following links show the progression of my understanding of the sweeping scope of this collusion:

The ‘Compression Years’…of isolation and silencing (under threat)…existential control in which Adyashanti played a key role: https://integrityintruth.com/…/the-compression-years…/

The many engaging in sweeping deception: https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/coffee-lane-and-the-two-years-prior-to-moving-to-portland-december-2015-july-2018-%e2%9c%be/

The systemic deception within the non-dual community: https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the-non-dual-field/

Paul Selig’s message that this ‘was not intentional to me’ yet the existential controls were most definitely intentional to me: https://integrityintruth.com/clarif…/the-move-to-portland/

Adya’s role: https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the-non-dual-field/

The original letter to the ASI (Association for Spiritual Integrity): https://www.dropbox.com/…/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23…

Thank you ❣️ for your interest in this story. If you have any questions please email me at: Leslie@leslieread

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The Existential Danger of Radical Non-Duality

There was never a time when I was comfortable with teachings espousing the unreality of the body and the world. 

While I understand the dogmatic reason(ing) behind such, I always deeply felt that our bodies and the World were the most efficacious routes to The Divine. Each and every sense a Divine Portal into our inherent birthright of a natural connection with God, Source, Spirit…call it what you will…and The Universe. 

Additionally…and, most especially, the denial of the body and of a world led to a nihilistic view that SO easily covered for, not only the potential for harm, but for the actuality of disregard and abuse.

And, by extension, there were the very real dangers of becoming an automaton by statements such as ‘thoughts and emotions are unreal.’

If one needs to say anything about a body/ and world it would be more accurate to say “You’re not the body and you’re not NOT the body” and “The world is real but, like everything, impermanent.” 

Was the necessity to abandon everything, literally, what was ‘intended’ by The Universe for us to realize our rightful and Holy place in the Grande scheme of things? 

Is this what was/is truly meant by Love?…or was/is The Totality beckoning each of us to claim our rightful place in this Divine Inheritance?

Is there anything that is not held in the deepest embrace of this All?

Even though I never embraced this ‘duality of radical non-duality’ I none-the-less fell victim (yes, there are victims as long as anything is excluded) to the necessitation of lies/deceptions in the upholding of such a structure of radical division. Talk about salt in the wound. 

I became the inadvertent holder for the deceptions of that out-of-balance dogma…a dogma upheld by numerous non-dual teachers, institutions and supporting organizations. https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the-non-dual-field/

During my time with that radical non-dual teaching I let go of family, friends, education, likes and preferences, things that I love, my own creativity…and essentially my Life…my sacred Life — which is All of it.

Then…after “falling through the cracks” (Russell Smith) those same teachers manipulated the rest of this Life with existential controls involving siddis (occult powers).

Many contemporary teachers borrow heavily on teachings removed in time, space and culture. 

The classic Rumi poem “Out beyond ideas of right and wrong there is a Field…” contains beautiful and sacred words which are often taken out of time/space and cultural context and unfortunately used to justify and hijack moral authority in order to cover where there has been actual harm.

Furthermore, if someone has the courage to speak up when/where there has been harm those very teachings are used to scapegoat and gaslight the one reporting on the harm.

The destruction of a Life that has been ripped apart by such radical dogmatic delusion is extreme and total. It may be the reason why so many felt they would…and, literally, had to…remain at SAT for life.

In that regard…and with reference to ancient teachings: not all egos need to be killed.  Not all egos need eradicating.  Not all egos even need diminishing. 

The damage from such delusion cannot be overstated. 

Some egos actually need building UP to realize a ‘transcendent’ and all-inclusive Freedom. 

It was several years after having been at SAT…and dedicated to the teachings and teachers… that Nome, all of a sudden declared that his teaching was “radical non-duality.”

My original resonance with the all-inclusive Pantheon of ALL Truth teachings…and the broad-based inclusiveness of all major traditions…was what originally resonated with me.

I had no clue what was meant by “radical non-duality” except that it’s radical in the embrace of denialism (duality) and harm.

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Cover-for-Harm in the Non-Dual Field

Adyashanti, the ASI (Association of Spiritual ‘Integrity’) and their Collusion to cover for the Existential Controls of Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver…

Association for Spiritual ‘Integrity’ – ASI

Candace O’Denver’s Great Freedom/Balanced View
Nome and Russell Smith’s SAT –
Society of Abidance in ‘Truth’
Adyashanti and Mukti’s ‘Open Gate’

On March 2, 2023  (Admin of) the FaceBook Association for Spiritual Integrity (ASI) Discussion Group posted:

“We are excited to let you all know that the Association for Spiritual Integrity has been invited to present at the Harvard Divinity School Conference….Jac O’Keeffe, Philip Goldberg, and Rick Archer will be leading an interactive workshop on “Lessons from a Young Organization Making a Difference,” about the work of the ASI.”

“Making a difference?!?” Given the hypocrisy of the ASI’s attendance to Harvard Divinity School Conference I wrote the following:

Is this the same Rick Archer and Jac O’Keeffe who I addressed the following letter (dropbox link below) to?

https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0

Instead of saying “How can we help?”…I was told Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (who goes by too numerous aliases to mention) that they were NOT members of the ASI, and therefore the ASI could NOT help me.

Jac O’Keeffe and Lauren Medeiros met with me on Zoom for 30 minutes concluding ONLY that contemporary non-duality is the ‘wild west’ and…

…Rick Archer who, on a private messenger thread with @ 50 others, chided my reporting…and the voice recording at the end of the above letter describing the deliberate existential controls affecting 4-generations of my family…defiantly asked me “How’s that going for ya?” (in reference to my reporting).

This case involving 4-generations of my family is arguably one of the most existentially damaging to a life/lives…not to mention to the integrity of the teachers/teachings.

Are these the SAME PEOPLE who are going to the Harvard Divinity School??

How about a live…and OPEN…meeting with one of the more significant and influential teachers who absolutely participated in the existential controls of Nome/Russ/Candice?

Namely:  ADYASHANTI?

Adya could look me straight-in-my-eyes and tell me, unequivocally, that not only does he know nothing of Nome but he, himself, didn’t have his OWN HANDS directly involved in the ‘Compression Years.’

How about that??

https://integrityintruth.com/bentinho-and-the-adya-connection/

https://integrityintruth.com/the-primary-collusive-support-of-adyashanti/

https://integrityintruth.com/gangaji-and-her-support-of-the-deceptions/

https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/

https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-dogma-of-patriarchal-control/

Truth & Integrity contain non-duality but non-duality, most definitely, does not guarantee truth nor integrity.

-Leslie Read

www.integrityintruth.com

P.S.…As of March 24, 2023 the above message was removed by an admin on the FaceBook ASI Community page

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Dangers of the Un-Embodied Teacher

The Heart shrouded in ‘spiritual’ concepts

Teachers who have no relationship with their emotions…or who consider emotions (and the body, thoughts and world) as ‘unreal’…have a tendency to control and restrict others based on fear. 

This unprocessed emotional content is a real danger when it appears in an unbalanced teacher who may have realized wholeness yet is a veritable holding ground for unresolved emotional expression…in other words an un-embodied teacher.

https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/

(When the emotional Heart is covered, fear can easily take control over others. Image taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland)

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As-Above-So-Below…and the necessity of truth-telling

“Lies are the royal road to chaos.” ~Sam Harris

There are many who knew/know that Nome and Russell Smith were/are serial liars. Of the many shadow elements of these teachers, deception was/is the most serious.

Not everyone sees through the energy of lying. Yet I remember, during one Sunday’s Satsang, when the lies were SO thick I wondered HOW-on-earth those teachers could possibly keep track of all the lies!

There is a certain level of clairvoyance here. 

When it was discovered that I had seen through the lies of Nome and Russ…and would not (could not) go along with the narrative they were putting forth…which pitted one teacher-against-the-other…Nome and Russ, ultimately, determined the only way to save their deceptions would be to foist the entirety of the karma for their lies and deceptions on these shoulders. 

That decision was, additionally, supported by many in the non-dual space….a collective shadow, so to speak that included the active participation of Adyashanti…and many in the Open-Gate Community. Additionally, other-wise well-regarded non-dual teachers such as Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi and others were complicit in the cover-up to keep those lies buried throughout the non-dual space.

(The ‘Compression Years’…of isolation and deliberate silencing (under threat) at the hands of non-dual teachers…in which Adyashanti played a significant role: https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/ )

Rather than tell-the-truth…rather than owning-their-own-actions…both Nome and Russ were sure that I would be willing to martyr this life for purposes of ensuring their lies would never become public knowledge.

As a very devoted person I, too, felt that not only I could hold those lies…but I also felt that I should hold those lies. Little did I realize the psychology and ramifications of denying and betraying myself for the actions of others. We, at SAT (the Society of Abidance in Truth), had ALWAYS been taught that giving your life, and your self, was a spiritual attribute — a definite aspect of patriarchal non-duality. So I was well-trained in that respect. Additionally the masculine and feminine aspects of my temperament were way out-of-balance and tended towards remaining obedient and acquiescent, especially to spiritual ‘authority.’

When I made the momentous decision to begin reporting on those lies, that decision was akin to the energy needed to turning around…and righting…a huge ocean-liner in the ocean 180°…a decision which, I knew, would leave me with no others to support me. This would be a story told on my own. 

Coffee Lane and the *many* engaging in sweeping deception: https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/coffee-lane-and-the-two-years-prior-to-moving-to-portland-december-2015-july-2018-%e2%9c%be/

The systemic deception and collusion within the non-dual community: https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the…/

Paul Selig’s message that this ‘was not intentional to me’ yet the existential controls were most definitely intentional to me: https://integrityintruth.com/clarif…/the-move-to-portland/

Letter to the ASI (Association for Spiritual ‘Integrity’): https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0&e=1&fbclid=IwAR2hNCDCiHgzRQrXqce9WFFH5vgHGHoGlda3PUlGKT2n1qMuoFfoMadMbvs

Thank you for following my work dedicated to the integrity in ‘Truth’ teachings. ❦

(Image: The Ship, courtesy Bing Images)

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The Lying Effect

In just about every layer of society we see the dramatic effects of lying.

This, of course, is not new.

The actual effect-of-lies has been recorded in all arenas and levels of society: personal, political, economic and religious history throughout millennia.

From the devastating lies of the Nazi era, to the very public accounts of Watergate and Bill Clinton’s trysts with Monica Lewinsky, to the deliberately hidden dangers of tobacco smoking and of monetized pharmaceuticals to the so-called sciences and the halls-of-The Vatican.

…and currently, the most famous, on-going deception of the ‘big lie’ of a ‘stolen election’…which could, ultimately be the end of Democracy.

The one arena I would have thought would have been free of such a scourge of deception would have been in the teachings of non-duality…and their teachers and organizations.

I was gravely wrong.

The lies were with regard to how the brothers relayed their relationship with each other and their reasons behind splitting up their teachings. The story painted was one of an animosity…a supposed ‘disdain’ they took all the way to the legal courts in Santa Cruz. They painted quite the picture. If anyone has ever witnessed Nome and Russell in a Satsang this ruse would be evident.

While these deceptions originated with my former teachers Nome and Russell Smith at SAT in Santa Cruz, CA the lies were greatly supported by Candace O’Denver (who was, then forming Great Freedom with Russell Smith) and to Adyashanti and Gangaji …and many in their close circles at Open Gate.

To the best of my ability the ‘purpose’ (if one can say there is a purpose to lying) of these lies was to ‘wake up as many people as possible’ (This was a standard excuse in the non-dual community) and to form what would, then, become the bulk of the non-dual community.

In the roll-out of these lies their falsity was utterly obvious.

If anyone had ever seen Nome and Russell in a Satsang the love between the two is apparent.

Yet…I gave the lies a ‘pass’ as I bought into the notion that it was for the ‘benefit of all.’

“When we presume to lie for the benefit of others, we have decided that we are the best judges of how much they should understand about their own lives—about how they appear, their reputations, or their prospects in the world.”
~Sam Harris, Lying

There came a time when the lies at SAT were so prevalent that, at one Satsang, I wondered how-on-earth these brothers could keep track of all their lies.

In all honesty, and not through an arrogance, I found it hard to understand how everyone was buying into the deceptive narratives that were being espoused by Nome and Russell. I expressed this shock to my friend Karin who would travel from Norway several times a year…who I felt might have been open to hearing of these lies…but she resisted hearing it.

The Guru-can-do-no-harm was, and is, a deeply held spiritual concept.

Ultimately, and solely because of seeing through the lies, I was asked to leave SAT.

This was after 20 years of devoted dedication in which 3-generations of my family were involved.

In order to preserve the ‘integrity’ of the lies  Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, and Adyashanti foisted their own karma on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family…to ensure their lies would never become public knowledge. The absolute protection of these lies was further secured by silencing, under threat, and isolating me. The complicated controls were further bolstered by Nome’s use of siddis (occult powers) which, ultimately, made certain that it would be impossible to report on as the occult is nigh unproveable.

Nome was certainly counting on the complexity of this story, the hidden nature and the air-tight complicity of the non-dual community.

While all of this sounds like the description of a paranoid person (which is understood) the main audience I am addressing are the non-dual teachers who not only partook of this scheme but who, later, were/are involved in the collusion, complicity and, ultimately, the lies.

Those teachers cover a very large swath in the non-dual community.

Those teachers know I’m telling the truth.

The following is a letter to the ‘Association for Spiritual Integrity’ (ASI) who were also part of covering for this web of deception…basically a smokescreen for accountability: https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0

The dramatic effects of those lies?

In the prophetic words of Aile Shebar what occurred in this life was akin to being ‘buried alive.’

That is an accurate description.

The internal threat at being silenced shook my entire system to the core after which I could only communicate via emojis for several years following that existential shock. The taking of one’s voice, the use of over-speak when speaking with those who are actively covering for these teachers, and the dark methods for control…were only part of the very real taking-of-a-life.

Another accurate description was that of a ‘Soul murder.’

The following movies accurately depict the actual feeling of what it was like to be silenced, under deep internal threat, for a decade: Diving Bell and the Butterfly, The Lives of Others and Ondine.

Because the potential of this voice could cause harm to several multi-million-dollar organizations and teachers, the threat to silence me, of necessity, had to be significant.

Effectively this life was taken…

While this example of the effect…and spread…of lies is truly extreme it is, none-the-less, accurate as to the utter devastation caused by lying.

Thank you for witnessing a return to my voice…❦

Warmly,

-Leslie@ integrityintruth.com

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The Mistake of Equating Non-duality with Spirituality

For the past 30+ years I made the common mistake of many spiritual seekers: that of equating non-duality with awakening…and spirituality, in general.

That misconception, alone…greatly hindered me from even beginning to report on the existential harm that had occurred at the hands of non-dual teachers.

That misconception, alone…prevented me from accessing my own direct line to God, Source, Spirit. Accessing my own direct line, was critical, to gain the Guidance I needed as I found myself under existential control due to being the inadvertent ‘holder’ for the lies of non-dual teachers…teachers who were intent on protecting their brand at all costs…including the existential control over the lives of others.

While non-duality is a scientific fact it is not the sum-total of Spirituality.

Equating non-duality with Spirituality ensured that I would place all those who had ‘awakened to the non-dual truth’ as, somehow, authorities in the spiritual world. Their support in the, then, air-tight non-dual community on social media indicated I was ‘valued’ if I would remain supplicant to being silenced (under threat) and isolated. There was the dangerous, and false, notion that one can awaken to non-duality while being so heavily controlled. The karma of those teachers was quite literally…and deliberately…foisted on these shoulders to ensure the lies of my former teachers would never become public knowledge. (Adyashanti indicated to non-dual teacher, Susanne Marie, that I ought to be able to ‘awaken’ while continuing to hold the deceptions of those teachers.)

It was, by far, the vast majority of those that I knew to be ‘awake to non-duality’ who actually lied directly to me regarding their knowledge of my former teachers and of what occurred at their hands. The deceptions formed what Matt Licata described as a ‘cosmic betrayal.’ That description by Matt accurately indicated the vast scope of deception found in the non-dual space.

To this day Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver and Adyashanti have not owned their own lies surrounding the structuring of SAT, Great Freedom/Balanced View and Open Gate. Instead, they have structured a community of ‘truth’ bolstered and protected by SAND, BatGap, ASI etc…and have foisted the burden of their lies on these shoulders.

There is an extreme disconnect, on the Human level, that comes with defining ‘awakening’ solely as being ‘awake’ to non-duality.  We’ve all seen that one can be awake to Wholeness and yet that, in no way, means one is free from shadow or is somehow a balanced and decent Human. One can be awake to Oneness and still be creating delusions and, worse yet, harming others in the process.

I am arguably my own, most extreme, example of the harm that can occur at the hands of those ‘awake’ (solely) to non-duality. The example of my life was described by Aile Shebar as akin to being “buried alive.” That…is an accurate description.

Under the extreme duress of having been silenced, under threat, and isolated, I began…after much initial resistance which had been programmed by Nome…to look into various ‘new age’ modalities to help dig-out from under such a controlling quagmire. I became firm in my resolve that I would use anything that would help.

Additionally…especially in response to the very real stalking via siddis (occult powers)…I amassed what I refer to as my Spirit Family. This ‘Spirit Family’ was comprised of eleven (11) Beings consisting of Arch-Angels, Creator Beings, The Christ and Mary and several other Spiritual heavy-weights of historical significance who were special to me on my path.

More particularly, since my move to Portland, OR…when this siddhic (occult) pushback greatly intensified, primarily as existential intimidation…I began a daily practice of clearing my ‘auric field’ of shadow that was not natively my own. If I had one piece of advice…it would be to clear your aura daily.

https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/coffee-lane-and-the-two-years-prior-to-moving-to-portland-december-2015-july-2018-%e2%9c%be/

https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-move-to-portland/

Out of desperation…and feeling woefully inadequate to deal with high-level siddhis aimed directly at me for malevolent purposes (siddhis can, literally, do anything)… I prayed to the entirety of my Guides daily. I made a practice of addressing-them-by-name as it was/is my feeling that being very specific to who you are praying to is far more efficacious than addressing The Universe at large!

This dynamic was a process that unfolded over time…with a learning and listening-curve. Bit-by-bit the answers would come. The Guidance was, most typically, felt in the form ‘download.’ This ‘download’ would come in the form of a tapestry-of-information, incoming, all-at-once.

The gist of that ‘information’ was deeply Supportive…to continue on with what I was doing.

As with any learning curve outside our 3D reality it’s the remembering…and trusting…of the messages that is the trickiest. Over time the messages…and Messengers… became clear enough. The Support felt real enough.

The Guidance was clear: to finally name-the-names of the teachers involved and then, later, the many who were complicit in covering for their actions.

I was being encouraged by Spirit to report on those who I had, at one time, considered to be the ‘highest.’

If Spirit was encouraging me to speak-out about harm at the hands of non-dual teachers…then what did THAT say about the state of ‘awakening’ of all those I was reporting on?!?

Warmly,

Leslie

Aso on Substack… https://leslieread.substack.com/