Tag: spiritual

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The Tangled Web of Deception

“What a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive.” ~Sir Walter Scott

The famous words from Sir Walter Scott’s poem are a warning about the consequences of deceptions and dishonesty which, invariably, lead to a web of complications.

In some cases, an enormous web.

This was, most certainly the case when non-dual teachers made the decision to place the entirety of the burden for their lies and deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family. In doing so, they required (and needed) the complicity and collusion of the full-sweep of currently acting non-dual teachers to provide an air-tight container that would uphold those lies should I ever speak out about what I had been forced (under existential threat) to hold.

This deceptive web forced the cooperation of ALL those who were/are teaching the non-dual “truth.” The hypocrisy and arrogance of teaching the “truth” while lying was easily covered-for within the structure of absolutist teachings.

“…everyone plays dumb to maintain a whitewashed narrative — at your expense …(and) is lying about the same thing…” ~A former member of SAT describing the impervious wall-of-deception in the non-dual community.

There are two main types of lying-to-others: direct lying and lying-by-omission.

The vast majority of ‘awake’ folks in the non-dual space lied-by-omission to me. The standard refrain was that they “never heard of my former teachers.”  Or that these teachers were, no doubt, part of a “cult.” 

The lies of Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver demanded the sweeping participation of the entire non-dual community, inclusive of such high-profile names as Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi and numerous others all looking to protect their brands…and their wallets.

Conversations with non-dual teacher Mirjam Temba Rothkamm were typical of this obvious evasion of the truth. For over 10+ years, along with many others on FaceBook threads, she lied directly to me regarding her knowledge of my former teachers, and of what had occurred at their hands.

The absolutist teachings that Mirjam espouses are the perfect cover for harm and abuse as evidenced by the famous words of Rumi.

“Out beyond ideas of right-and-wrong there is a Field…” – Rumi

In 2023 I confronted Mirjam with the following answer to her constant denial of knowing Nome:

“One doesn’t need to know Nome personally. In the case of this complicity nobody-on-the-planet knows him!!That is precisely how everyone has been able to lie directly to me regarding the existential control and harm at his hands in this life…and the lives of 4-generations of my family. The bottom line is: If you’re awake you know. That is the level of complicity and collusion I am referring to.”

The wise words of FaceBook friend Kim Rome came at a crucial time when I was coming to terms with the necessity of reporting publicly what I had been forced to carry, not just for my former teachers but for the entire non-dual community.

Kim said “I think the thing about lying that is most overlooked is that it is a betrayal to self.”  

This landed on me like a brick as those teachers were betraying themselves in their lies but, worse, were requiring me to betray myself for lies that did not belong to me!

The decision to no longer betray myself would be a lesson that would take years to unfold.

“Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging.” ~Brene Brown

“Lies: the royal road to chaos.” -Sam Harris

Thank you for reading this post. ❦ If you have any questions whatsoever feel free to email me at: Leslie@integrityintruth.com

⚛️ Paul Selig’s message that this ‘was not intentional to me’ yet the existential controls were most definitely intentional to me:

https://integrityintruth.com/clarif…/the-move-to-portland/

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The Smokescreen of ASI Oversight

Enclosed…

In 2020 I wrote a letter to the ASI (The Association for Spiritual Integrity) describing the harm that had occurred in this life at the hands of certain spiritual teachers: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (who goes by various aliases).

The organization ASI (Association for Spiritual Integrity) was formed shortly after I began working on my own website: www.IntegrityInTruth.com.

The ASI provided a platform…an address…with which I addressed my concerns in a letter that detailed the existential harm to this life…and to the Truth. It was in the hopes of getting some support that I wrote this letter describing what is arguably one of the worst breaches in the awakening community.

(A link to the PDF of that letter appears at the end of this blog-post.)

Over time it became very clear that not only would no help be forthcoming but that there was inordinate cover-up and collusion for the very ‘story’ I was/am reporting on.

Shortly after writing that letter I started a private message thread with approximately 100+ people that I invited who were current FaceBook ‘friends.’

Of those 100 at least a couple dozen were/are currently acting teachers and others well known in the non-dual spiritual community.

Many well-known teachers were/are present on that thread as well as Rick Archer of BATGAP (Buddha at the Gas Pump) and

Ralitza Zaya Benazzo and Maurizio Benazzo, co-founders of SAND (Science & Nonduality Conference).

(At this time a separate letter explaining what had happened was addressed to Zaya and Maurizio. No answer was forthcoming.) Clairvoyantly I felt Zaya’s discomfort.

During the past couple of years, those on that private message thread bore witness to the unfolding of my deepening understanding of what had occurred and the nature of what, ultimately, looked like collusion and cover-up in the non-dual community.

Significantly, as I deepened in my understanding of the obvious collusion…people began to leave the thread.

While I appreciated the willingness to stay ‘on topic’ and not go down endless rabbit holes around abuse of power, eerily, there was an airtight silence regarding the harm I was describing among the folks that remained on the thread.

Why?

As the saying goes: Silence = Complicity

That silence became even more airtight as the enormity of the scope of collusion to cover for the existential harm to myself…and my family…became clearly evident.

Rick Archer…one of the founding board members of the ASI began pushing back on my reporting with the following gaslighting:

“All I’m saying to you Leslie is, this thing seems to dominate your life. Is it really your mission in life to bring these people to justice, or whatever you hope to do? How is that coming along? How long have you been at it and how much progress have you made?”

“I’m sure that these guys are putting much less attention on you than you are on them. That to which we give our attention grows stronger in our life. Want to get them out of your life? Stop giving them attention.”

In correspondence with me one person (who will remain unnamed) finally stated the unspoken obvious:

“…everyone plays dumb to maintain a whitewashed narrative — at your expense …(and) is lying about the same thing…”

Thank you for following this story and for your continued interest in seeing actual integrity in high-level spiritual teachings. ❦

Please email with any questions at: Leslie@IntegrityInTruth.com  

_________________________❦

Please use the following link to access the letter to the ASI. At the end of that letter is a link to a short (22 minutes) recording detailing the harm to 4-generations of my family.(There have been several editions of this letter…the factual meaning and substance remains entirely the same.)

https://www.dropbox.com/s/apmlmhd89jjwvig/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A04%3A23.pdf?dl=0

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When High-Level Light meets with High-Level Shadow…

It is said that eclipses serve as catalysts for timely change. This is being written a few days before the full moon lunar eclipse in Gemini on Nov. 30, 2020 which will be followed a couple weeks later by a total solar eclipse in Sagittarius, two weeks later, on December 14. Additionally Neptune…the planetary karmic revealer is stationing direct on November 28th. More and more I am amazed at the accuracy of these planetary reflections and energetics.

In this life I have, never before, felt such a dramatic change of direction…not intention…but a radical change of direction. What I had once considered so perfectly beautiful, and true…and had, certainly, been so devoted to…now had the makings of the worst possible nightmare. As a ‘holder of information’ for high-level spiritual teachers, that nightmare has been variously described, by those who know the situation, as a ‘Soul’s torture chamber’…akin to being ‘buried alive’ and a ‘cosmic betrayal.’ 

Those are accurate descriptions and not-at-all exaggerated.

While this situation does not include the typical breaches of integrity commonly known as sexual manipulations (and is, most certainly, not making light of such) this particular situation is far more pervasive, insidious, systemic and dis-turbing (of Integrity) in its use of over-arching lies, deceptions, and cronyism involving cover-up, collusion, coercion and the extreme misuse of high-level siddhas (occult powers) over this life and the lives of my family.

These breaches have…and are…demanding extensive cover-up throughout the spiritual community…inclusive of other high-level contemporary teachers and certainly many in the general awakening community. 

The ‘information’ I hold is in regards to the supposed separation of the teachings of Nome and Russell Smith of SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA) and Candace O’Denver, aka Candice Rinpoche of Great Freedom/Balanced View in Marin, CA. The burden for the lies regarding that supposed separation fell  squarely on my shoulders…for a decade, plus. 

In the (exact) words of Russell Smith, in private session many years ago: “You will fall through the cracks.” 

I had no idea what he was talking about at the time. That fact of falling ‘through the cracks’ and that it was ‘not intentional to me’…were the exact words of Paul Selig’s Guides!

I knew this was not ‘intentional to me.’ There was always enormous dedication, not only student-to-teacher but teacher-to-student. 

Yet…this breach, requiring enormous manipulation and suffocating control to keep it under wraps, would have never have happened without all the lying.

The lying, deflection and gas-lighting in the spiritual community regarding their knowledge of these teachers and of the situation I found myself in is systemic. This website exposes only a partial reveal of the reasons for my reporting on such over-arching corruption, coercion and collusion in the non-dual community regarding this ‘information.’ 

The teachers involved are high-level teachers with a certain ‘standard of gold’ teaching…and reputation.

That ‘gold-standard’ is the high-level Light.

Yet…there were lies and deceptions meant to control and manipulate seekers…some very long and devoted seekers who had given extensively, not only, of their dedication to Truth but of their time, labor and money.

The steps (occult and otherwise) taken by the main teachers to cover for their extensive and highly-coordinated lies and deceptions constitutes the high-level shadow. 

This included not only high-level shadow of advanced siddhas (occult powers) in the form of ‘auric blocks’ (for control) and ‘psychic implants’ (for surveillance) utilized for top-to-bottom control by the main teacher, Nome, but shadow in the form of collusion throughout, primarily, the patriarchal Non-dual spiritual community. 

This collusion included patriarchal teachers in the non-dual community as well as women non-dual teachers involved in a type of ‘false sisterhood’ based on shadow feminine energies left over from loyalty to certain patriarchy. This loyalty involved the same collusion, coercion and widespread gaslighting.

It is imperative that seekers are aware of the potential for such occult control, manipulation and extreme misuse (indeed, any misuse) of siddhas….even, and perhaps most especially, when everything seems to be pointing to high clarity and Light. 

“All that glitters is not gold.” ?

(Photo image: blossom in the full of the Moon…by Max Dupain)