Tag: spiritual

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Patriarchal Neti-Neti: The Ultimate Tragedy of Dissociation & Spiritual Bypassing…

enabling abuse & control-over-others

From the very beginning, I was never down with ANY delineation of real-and-unreal, inside-and-outside… nor the elimination of such as: “you’re not the body, senses or mind;” the world is unreal; nothing-ever-happens (ajata) etc.

⚛️ Ajata and the wide-open-door-to-abuse: https://integrityintruth.com/ajata-and-the-wide-open-door-to-abuse/

WHY?

Firstly, it’s untrue.

Secondly, exactly who draws the line between real-and-unreal? And where do they draw it??

Thirdly, and perhaps the most important: in eliminating the body-senses-world you are eliminating the most efficacious routes to your true nature!!

As soon as anything is separated out from the Whole we are already skating-on-thin-ice. This is especially so if the renunciation is done at the bequest of spiritual leaders, as was the case in the ancient advaitic practice of renunciation known as Neti-Neti. This wholesale-elimination practice was adopted by many in the neo-Advaita space of contemporary non-duality…opening WIDE-the-door for harm, abuse and control-over-others.

Additionally, this wholesale renunciation led to sweeping judgements-of-others…literally, anyone who fell ‘outside’ the norms of such a rigid world-view. After 2 decades+ in such a dogmatic teaching I still, to this day, find myself pulling back from certain situations or thoughts or people as though some invisible line-in-the-sand exists…anywhere.

⚛️ Denial and the Duality-of-Non-duality: https://integrityintruth.com/denial-the-duality-of-non-duality/

In the early days following my arrival at SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth, Santa Cruz, CA) I was encouraged to renounce my family. (read that again!)

Historically, and with certain spiritual traditions, teachers have manipulated families-of-seekers in order to achieve certain spiritual goals.

In the early 90’s, renunciation and the path-of-siddas, became a ‘thing’ at SAT and the discourses were largely centered on the renunciation of everything…everything. The world, your body/senses/mind were ALL entirely “unreal.” And while the real meaning of “unreal” was understood to mean “not separate” it never-the-less led to the dangerous hypocrisy of the split-mind.

During one Satsang I raised my hand and asked point-blank: “Are we truly meant to be automatons??” My question was dismissed.

That teaching dismissed the very thing — our body – which is, ultimately, the most efficacious portal to Presence and transcendence (if transcendence is your goal). This transcendence-addicted approach was largely equated with spiritual evolution. Is true awakening really marked by transcendent states pervaded with bypassing, dissociation and spiritual materialism?

Is that what awakening is??

In an early private with Nome, I asked about this need to dismiss the entirety of our experience as “unreal” and stating how that did not resonate with my prior experience as a young girl. Surprisingly, Nome’s answer to me was “You must have renounced in a prior lifetime.” (From then on this devoted heart relied on the inner teaching and silence which was vastly different than what was being presented in the public talks. I would, later, be the scapegoat for those outer teachings that I never believed in).

⚛️ The Scapegoat Phenomenon…Involving Sensitive Souls and Empaths: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-scapegoat-phenomenon

⚛️ The Mystery of Past Lives: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-mystery-of-past-lives)

Nome’s answer certainly rang true, yet his current teaching should have been my indication that this was never meant to be my path where, ever since my childhood, everything was included. From a naturally devoted heart (likely from prior lifetimes) I would enter states of what is now commonly called ‘flow’ and ‘bliss.’ Yet, from the beginning, Nome was touted as the only ‘awake’ teacher in this country…and there was a deep heart connection from which his internal communication flowed.

Additionally, and as Russ pointed out, this renunciate approach was successfully taught within an airtight insularity that is often found in cults. While I believe this was never overtly felt by the members of SAT that control was/is very much the case. In SO many, if not ALL, ways…this deliberate separation can harm one for life.

No doubt the wholesale rejection-of-everything would spiritually justify Nome’s decision to, later, place an “auric block” in my field restricting relations – primarily intimate relationships – ensuring his lies and deceptions would never become public knowledge. That occult move would affect every area of this life: mental, emotional, spiritual, relational, financial – everything.

(Unmarried Woman by Wojtek Kowalski who does paintings from an ‘internal need.’This was the feeling of when an ‘auric block’ was deliberately placed in my field to prevent relations, primarily intimate ones, and the devastating effects on every.single.area.of this life…ALL because those teachers felt justified due to this un-natural separating-out from the Divine Order and the bypassing of such.)

While many of us never heard of the other contemporary non-dual teachers, as we were told Nome was the only realized teacher, when the mention of U. G. Krishnamurti came up Russ chimed-in with “How many people actually realize with such a non-teaching as Krishnamurti’s??”

U.G. was the Indian “anti-guru.”

Only recently, I watched a video where Facebook friend David Solomon, who was close to U.G. Krisnamurti, discussed U.G.’s basic approach in this way: “I don’t see UG as ever suggesting that we should ‘throw anything out.’ He was about accepting the world and ourselves exactly as we are…and in doing that, Life takes over and blossoms in its own natural Way. One’s own Life and what grows around that.

UG was not only staunchly promoting that everyone be themselves but recognizing all of Life around us has a right to be what IT is too. And to accept the Wisdom of our bodies, and accept the Wisdom of the natural world.”

It had always been my deep feeling that our body and, hence, the world was the most efficacious route to Freedom. So, it followed that all the talk of the body…the senses…and the world being unreal dragged any process of integration out for years, and, often, decades.

Not only was neti-neti inefficient and out-dated, it revealed so much of the utter hypocrisy of what radical non-duality actually is: the undeniable duality of non-duality.

⚛️ The Existential Danger of Radical Non-Duality: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-existential-danger-of-radical

“You know being around someone whose main objective in life was to NOT falsify himself…and doing his darndest to prevent us from doing that to ourselves. That’s just a Blessing… there is no explanation… I can’t imagine being any luckier than that.” ~David Solomon

Both the Krishnamurtis were against “A Way.” Every person had their own way.

The ‘way’ was about taking what comes one’s way in stride.

⚛️ The Case for Ultimate Independence:  https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-case-for-ultimate-independence

As Humans we live in this world…on this planet. Who, exactly, would draw any line and where would they draw it?

Jeff Brown said it fairly succinctly…and with a pardon for ALL the necessary f**k bombs…

Pamela Wilson (in the landmark book Ordinary Women, Extraordinary Wisdom, Spet. 28, 2007, by Rita Robinson) stated: “Not ‘neti-neti’ but ‘YES-i-YES-i’ ” A succinct statement revealing the subverted feminine-half of the spiritual journey and bringing it down to earth to embrace ALL of what it means to be Human. ❦

It’s my feeling that, at this point in our spiritual evolution, we are moving definitively away from any patriarchal paradigm and, perhaps, any need for an external teacher…and most certainly, away from the dogmatic approaches of many of them.

⚛️ The Ultimate Demise of Fundamentalist Spirituality…The Arrogance of Superiority: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-ultimate-demise-of-fundamentalist

There is no doubt that this life was/is arguably one of most disturbingly and existentially harmed (aside from the insidious accounts of sexual abuse seen in cults such as the Osho cult) not only by my immediate teachers but by the sweeping collusion in the non-dual space by teachers looking to protect their meal-ticket of teaching.

⚛️ The following short recording (22 min.) details the occult controls over 4-generations of my family to which Rick Archer (Buddha at the Gas Pump) suggested I just ‘walk away’ primarily because he was covering for Adya’s brand: https://www.dropbox.com/…/Recording%208B%20…

For my Astro-nerd friends, perhaps this will be signified by the momentous move of Neptune into Aries for the 1st time in 160 years, where it will stay until 2039 and where it will conjunct Saturn at the very beginning of the entire zodiacal wheel…something that hasn’t happened for over 9,000 years…THIS is the day I am typing this.

☯️ everything is already Whole and One

☯️ No need to separate anything out or figure out what, when, and where, how, to separate it out.

☯️ …or worse, be told WHAT to separate out (recently I was told that ‘activism’ isn’t holy!)

If we cannot actively stand-up for our most cherished values, how can we really call ourselves “spiritual?”

Thank you for following my work (and it has been work) in digging myself out from having been silenced (under a death threat)…and way more…at the hands of non-dual teachers.

Warmly,

-Leslie @integrityintruth.com ❦

⚛️ Integrity in Truth:  https://www.integrityintruth.com

⚛️ And on Substack: https://substack.com/@leslieread/posts

I wish I had written the following poem…posted by Glenna Erickson Bain on FaceBook:

It’s All Real…All of it. 🌷

~A Poem by Jordan Bates

Family, friends, animals, people, bodies, Earth, music, art, trees, soil, sun.

It’s Real.

It’s not an illusion.

God is not “generating an illusion of a world.”

No, God is being the world.

The world is the literal concrete Body and Heart of God.

It’s all Real.

Non-duality can so easily be used as a means of hiding from this Realness.

By writing the world off as “illusion,” the throbbing, gushing Heart of the world is kept at arm’s length.

By repeatedly asserting that “it’s all unreal,” “it’s all meaningless,” “there’s no one here,” “there is no body,” “there is no world”…

A subtle closed-off-ness can be allowed to persist.

By dismissing this universe as a mere “hologram” or “video game” or “theatrical production” or “movie appearing on the projection screen of consciousness”…

The soft animal-body of this cuddly life can be unconsciously rejected.

One can secretly block oneself from really-truly-deeply-viscerally noticing that the One Poem is written in flesh and bone.

When bones break, it doesn’t feel like a simple reformatting of pixels in a hologram.

When parents weep over the dead body of an innocent child, only a voice of confusion and coldness would ask them why they are grieving the loss of an imaginary character.

They’re grieving the loss of God.

A once-in-existence expression of God.

They’re Real, and their grief is Real.

When they grieve, God grieves.

When we suffer, God suffers.

When we are tortured, God is tortured.

When we are burned at the stake, God is burned at the stake.

When we are raped, God is raped.

When we die a slow and frightening death in a hospital on a ventilator, God dies this same slow and frightening death.

God is not “hiding in the Absolute” in perpetual non-attached, pain-free peace.

No, God is our attachment.

God is our pain.

God is our fear.

And God is also Absolute peace.

God feels it all, for God is all of it.

All of it.

It’s all Real.

True enlightenment is not to escape the human experience.

It is to arrive fully in the human experience.

To land fully on Earth, with a wide-open heart, ready to feel it all and respond wisely and compassionately.

To dig one’s feet into the ancient soil of our Mother, feel her pulsing heartbeat, and know She is Real.

Know She is God.

Know that her children are God.

Know that you are here to Serve Her.

By being exactly who you are.

Living true.

Fully, bravely, with an open heart.

Amen. 🙏

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The Cult of Radical Non-Duality…as found in neo-advaita, ACIM etc.

Simply put, a cult is a person and/or organization ensuring abject control over its members thru a variety of means. It has been widely touted that intelligent people would never end-up in such situations… yet, some of the most intelligent folks certainly got ensnared in the Osho cult as well as the cult I was involved with for well over 2-decades.

“A cult is a group, religious organization or family structure of any size led by a charismatic leader. Cults control their members through manipulation, abuse, and coercion. These groups feature transcendent belief systems, and create self-sealing systems from which followers find it difficult to escape.” ~Lalich Center on Cults and Coercion

My time at SAT (the Society of Abidance in ‘Truth’) spanned over 2-decades beginning in late 1989.  During that time I would have never considered the teachings of non-duality, as presented by Nome and Russell Smith, to be a cult. THAT …was/is precisely how insular SAT is.

Let me explain….

Somewhat similar to Donald Trump saying exactly what he is going to do (as-above-so-below) Russell Smith actually exclaimed, one day, for all of us to hear: “Cultic tactics actually work!”  

That should have been the obvious-and-decisive indicator for me to leave…immediately.

Yet…what over-road even such an outrageous exclamation were the underlying, unseen high-level occult practices of a siddha…in this case Nome. As a siddha, Nome had/has access to occult powers (siddis)…which can literally do anything.
It was this, plus the fact that Nome knew-that-I-knew of his lies and was seemingly helping me in the silent background (THAT is a whole other story!).

While a true Siddha rarely shows these to his/her followers my experience was the perception of MANY siddis with this teacher. So many, I almost wrote a book about them as they were often hilarious and, by-far, most were benevolent and helpful in the earlier years of my highly-devoted practice.

Those siddis were helpful until Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi and many other non-dual teachers in their orbit made the decision to place the entire burden for their lies and deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family.

It was then that those siddis (occult powers) turned deeply malevolent and controlling over every.single.aspect.of.this.life. Those siddis were SO controlling that someone described my situation as a “Soul murder” akin to being “buried alive.” Those are excruciatingly accurate descriptions.

An apt quote from Andrew Harvey on contemporary spiritual teachers:

“It is my belief that 90 percent of the so-called masters in the modern world are not enlightened at all but are in fact occult magicians. The occult magician will use his or her occult powers to ensnare the devotee in a posture of adoration by feeding them visionary experiences, which may seem to open things up for the devotee but actually keeps one dependent on the guru. It’s a kind of drug pushing as dangerous on the spiritual level as cocaine or heroin is on the physical. Because people don’t know the difference between the divine and the occult, nor how accurately the occult can mimic the divine, nor how easily occult powers can be cultivated by the unscrupulous and ambitious. They take these powers and experiences to be unmistakable signs of divine presence and go on worshipping as divine these people who have, in fact, shown that they are neither good, nor kind, nor humble, nor generous.” ~Andrew Harvey

The lies I was forced (under a death threat) to hold were in regard to the supposed split of the Smith brothers (Nome and Russell) and Russell’s development of Great Freedom/Balanced View with Candace O’Denver. While I never met Candace in person, nor visited her center, I had a reluctant meeting in 2016/17 with Kevin Corlette and Britt Posmer who had just finished a visit to ‘Great Freedom.’ In that meeting I asked what that center was like. Hesitatingly, Kevin stated (paraphrasing) it was “Far too controlling for his liking.” Alternatively, Britt mentioned to stay dedicated to a root Guru. My intuitive sense, in that moment, was that she was indicating for me to stay silent. Coming from Britt, who I greatly admired, this statement actually kept me silent for another couple years.

The teachings of Nome, Russell Smith/Candace O’Denver, etc. grew-up out of the morally corrupt neo-advaita teachings of, primarily, Osho Rajneesh but may have, also, been influenced by Adi Da (who goes by a variety of names stemming from Franklin Jones), Mooji etc. Osho’s entire cult is wrapped in the mesmerizing, albeit beautiful, musical culture of Deva Premal and Miten occasionally accompanied by Manose (Miten and Manose have their own reported sexual exploits).

The following is an important comment by Jeffrey Wolf Green (founder of Evolutionary Astrology) on the spiritual evolution of Osho. I feel it applies equally to Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’ Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi, Byron Katie and many other currently acting non-dual teachers:

“Rajneesh experienced a fall from Grace, because of intense, spiritual delusions of grandeur, and a secret egocentric agenda that pointed the way to himself as the vehicle to salvation. Since he was exposed as a fraud who perverted natural laws because of his own self-interest, we now know that he was really here to fulfill his own soul’s evolutionary intentions. There was a huge emphasis on paying his Saturnian Karmic dues (Saturn exactly opposite Pluto), and having to learn some very harsh lessons around maturity, cooperation, and taking personal responsibility for the consequences of his actions/choices: hence, the massive fall from Grace that was as an evolutionarily necessity. As the mask was finally removed, and his living-a-lie exposed as fraudulent, Pluto, his own soul, would reveal the truth that was not in harmony with natural law, and eliminate (Pluto), the false doctrines to reveal the truth of his deception to the world. The deception was that he had created teachings of the natural truth, but in truth had lured his followers through a sexual vibration, not a spiritual one. Rajneesh was a sexually realized guru, not a God realized one.” (Page 149 of 538 of Neptune: Whispers from Eternity by Jeffrey Wolf Green)

This KEY statement in the above paragraph: “The deception was that he had created teachings of the natural truth, but in truth had lured his followers through a sexual vibration, not a spiritual one. Rajneesh was a sexually realized guru, not a God realized one…”

The above statement is one that accurately describes Nome, Adi Da, Mooji, Candace O’Denver, Amma (the hugging ‘Saint’) and so many other currently acting non-dual teachers…including the teachings of ACIM (A Course in Miracles). They are not God realized.

As sexually realized gurus…the use of sex… including the sexual abuse of under-age girls in the ashrams…is now coming to light as seen in the various reports of the children, now grown women, who grew up in those cults.

As reports have it, by the time I arrived at SAT in 1989, many of the sexual exploits had been “cleaned up.”

As many were/are awakening to the ‘natural truth’ of wholeness…by whatever means: NDE’s (near death experiences), their own attention or thru the current non-dual teachers…people began hanging-out their signs in the hopes for the often-lucrative teaching of non-duality which…to this day…is hyped as the equivalent of the teaching of The Christ and The Buddha…which they clearly are not.

The real danger is in the declaration, and false claim, that this non-dual ‘realization’ was THE actual ‘awakened spirituality.’

This false equivalent is further explored here: Nihilistic, Radical Non-Duality and ACIM…are NOT the Equivalent of Spirituality: ⚛️ https://integrityintruth.com/radical-non-duality-and-acim-are-not-the-equivalent-of-spirituality/

Facebook Friend David Bingham accurately describes the teachers of neo-advaita:

“…in this modern age the Neo-Advaitan tradition of the truth existing ultimately in the sphere of the non-dual (which is followed by so many, with so many esteemed teachers) is a deeply flawed model of understanding of the nature of the human condition and its relationship with the Infinite.   It is a form of understanding which has an in-built tendency to deeply exacerbate illusions concerning the experiences of life and in turn to generate rigidities around its interpretation.  In doing so it has great potential to be harmful to the fundamental well-being of its adherents, all the more so because it dresses itself in the clothes of liberation. It is a false and incomplete freedom of the age.”

Moral-and-just, neo-advaita is NOT. The old patriarchal paradigm of abuse and control-over-others to ‘free’ people from their attachments to a ‘world’…takes the approach straight-out of the ancient Rumi (among others) play-book: “Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field…I will meet you there.” These teachers literally felt that right-and-wrong – and KARMA – did not apply to them in their transcendent selves.

The Precipitous Dynamic…of imposed suffering, control, subservience and constriction as mechanisms to ‘trigger’ awakening: ⚛️ https://integrityintruth.com/the-precipitous-dynamicof-imposed-suffering-control-subservience-and-constriction-as-mechanisms-to-trigger-awakening/

“The paradox is that the character/ego persona of even the awakened Self still goes thru its cause and effect as long as it dons a physical body – that’s why masters fall ill or lose someone etc – but as awakened Self they are wholly detached from the role….thus its effects don’t affect them! Thus no-me no karma!  But cause and effect IS; it’s like a board game on which the cosmic play plays out!” ~Divyaa Kumar

The teachings of neo-advaita/non-duality were/are completely devoid of the ethical integrity that is the Hallmark of true Spirituality.

Leonard Jacobson, as well as many others, actually marketed their teachings as the equivalent of the teachings of The Christ and The Buddha!

Instead of the altruism of genuine Spirituality we have the arrogance of such closed systems looking to preserve the non-dual brand (and their view of what ‘awakening’ is) and the brands of various non-dual teachers such as:

-SAND (Science & Non-Duality)

-Rick Archer’s BatGap (Buddha at the Gas Pump)

-The relatively new association of supposed over-sight: the ASI (Association of Spiritual Integrity) co-founded by Rick Archer and Jac O’Keeffe shortly after I began reporting on this website: ⚛️ https://www.integrityintruth.com

Some have said I am “anti-teacher.” This is not entirely an accurate statement yet, at this point, it is mostly true. As with any system, there are some who are far more dangerous than others…and the scary paradox is that those who may appear the most credible can, also, be the most dangerous.

I now feel that the risk of associating with any given teacher is far greater than, certainly, our own ever-present-and-direct line to God, Source, Spirit, whatever name feels right-and-true for you… and that that Line is ever pure and undefiled by corruption and control.

In the words of Ken Wilber: “Unless you are on a path that includes not only ‘waking up’…but ’growing-up’ AND ‘cleaning-up’…all 3-in-one package…you are going to get f**ked!! You WILL end up in a bad, bad way because one of these is going to go sour. That is THE major, unfortunate, path that the majority of people end up taking… and they end up wasting a life. Samadhi does not, of course, address (ANY) shadow elements…in some cases it makes it *worse* as there is pure dis-identification.”

⚛️ The Existential Dangers of Pure Dis-Identification: https://integrityintruth.com/the-existential-dangers-of-pure-dis-identification/

Looking back, the characteristics the cult at SAT included the following:

-an airtight insularity and airtight secrecy

-the cutting off of anything worldly…the duality-of-non-duality

-strict dictates of dress and actions

-an efficient money-making organization (including the concept of tithing and loan ‘forgiveness’) and assigning your will to SAT as recipient

-an extensive web of lies and deceptions

-cutting people off from their families and friends

-extensive ‘love-bombing’ by those in the non-dual community looking to keep the deceptions I was forced to hold from ever becoming public knowledge.

-using the teachings themselves to gaslight the one who might report on the harm

– polarized, us-versus-them mentality…mirroring the utter duality of non-duality

-an exalted and arrogant status of, not only the teacher, but of its members

-immense control over your time in the forms of service

-pitting some people against others in the group…in the olden days it would be women competing with other women…a sad aspect of the patriarchy

-manipulation of how the group is perceived through publications etc.

-the use of (and threats by) mostly unseen-and-unknown siddis (occult powers)

-reliance on and alignment with traditional spiritual texts and historical Saints and figures

-collusion with other non-dual teachers

-little to no disagreement with the main teacher(s)

-deference to the teacher

Thank you for following my work. Please leave me a comment if you have ever experienced similar or are currently with a group…and, always, if you have any questions and/or comments..

For hotline resources please visit:

-Steven Hassan’s Bite Model of Authoritarian Control: ⚛️ https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model-pdf-download/

-The Lalich Center: ⚛️ https://www.lalichcenter.org/resources-what-is-a-cult

-Rick Ross’s Cult Education Institute: ⚛️ https://culteducation.com/culteducation.html

-Joel Kramer and Diana Alstad’s “Guru Papers – Masks of Authoritarian Control” (a free PDF of the entire book): ⚛️ https://www.joeldiana.com/?page_id=8

Warmly…❣️🌷

-Leslie@integrityintruth.com

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The Tangled Web of Deception

“What a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive.” ~Sir Walter Scott

The famous words from Sir Walter Scott’s poem are a warning about the consequences of deceptions and dishonesty which, invariably, lead to a web of complications.

In some cases, an enormous web.

This was, most certainly the case when non-dual teachers made the decision to place the entirety of the burden for their lies and deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family. In doing so, they required (and needed) the complicity and collusion of the full-sweep of currently acting non-dual teachers to provide an air-tight container that would uphold those lies should I ever speak out about what I had been forced (under existential threat) to hold.

This deceptive web forced the cooperation of ALL those who were/are teaching the non-dual “truth.” The hypocrisy and arrogance of teaching the “truth” while lying was easily covered-for within the structure of absolutist teachings.

“…everyone plays dumb to maintain a whitewashed narrative — at your expense …(and) is lying about the same thing…” ~A former member of SAT…in conversation with me… describing the impervious wall-of-deception in the non-dual community.

There are two main types of lying-to-others: direct lying and lying-by-omission.

The vast majority of ‘awake’ folks in the non-dual space lied-by-omission to me. The standard refrain was that they “never heard of my former teachers.”  Or that these teachers were, no doubt, part of a “cult.” 

The lies of Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver demanded the sweeping participation of the entire non-dual community, inclusive of such high-profile names as Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi and numerous others all looking to protect their brands…and their wallets.

Conversations with non-dual teacher Mirjam Temba Rothkamm were typical of this obvious evasion of the truth. For over 10+ years, along with many others on FaceBook threads, she lied directly to me regarding her knowledge of my former teachers, and of what had occurred at their hands.

The absolutist teachings that Mirjam espouses are the perfect cover for harm and abuse as evidenced by the famous words of Rumi.

“Out beyond ideas of right-and-wrong there is a Field…” – Rumi

In 2023 I confronted Mirjam, and her constant denial of knowing Nome, with the following answer:

“One doesn’t need to know Nome personally. In the case of this complicity nobody-on-the-planet knows him!! That is precisely how everyone has been able to lie directly to me regarding the existential control and harm at his hands in this life…and the lives of 4-generations of my family. The bottom line is: If you’re awake you know. That is the level of complicity and collusion I am referring to.”

The wise words of FaceBook friend Kim Rome came at a crucial time when I was coming to terms with the necessity of reporting publicly what I had been forced to carry, not just for my former teachers but for the entire non-dual community.

Kim said “I think the thing about lying that is most overlooked is that it is a betrayal to self.”  

This landed on me like a brick as those teachers were betraying themselves in their lies but, worse, were requiring me to betray myself for lies that did not belong to me!

The decision to no longer betray myself would be a lesson that would take years to unfold.

“Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging.” ~Brene Brown

“Lies are the royal road to chaos.” -Sam Harris

Thank you for reading this post. ❦ If you have any questions whatsoever feel free to email me at: Leslie@integrityintruth.com

⚛️ Paul Selig’s message that this ‘was not intentional to me’ yet the existential controls were most definitely intentional to me:

https://integrityintruth.com/clarif…/the-move-to-portland/

Footnote:

At one point I mentioned to my father that Nome and Russ were lying to us.  In order to get clarity on whether this was true, my father raised my allegations on this lying to Nome during a private session. 

At that private, Nome told my father that I was lying to him. 

This was something my father took to his grave before knowing the actual truth.  Nome knew my father would believe his own guru more than his own daughter. 

Recently, in late 2024, I clair-audiently heard a current Indian SAT member ask Nome if what I was reporting on my website was true.

Again, Nome stated I was lying.

This was always Nome’s standard, defaming refrain when anyone spoke about the existential controls in-play at SAT.

He would always claim that he/she was just a disgruntled ex-member of SAT…thereby brushing-off any accountability and scapegoating the one(s) reporting on harm to protect the cult organization.


This has me concerned that Indian members are trapped within the SAT organization, giving their lives and money for the spiritual concepts of a teacher(s).

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The Smokescreen of ASI Oversight

Enclosed…

In 2020 I wrote a letter to the ASI (The Association for Spiritual Integrity) describing the harm that had occurred in this life at the hands of certain spiritual teachers: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (who goes by various aliases).

The organization ASI (Association for Spiritual Integrity) was formed shortly after I began working on my own website: www.IntegrityInTruth.com.

The ASI provided a platform…an address…with which I addressed my concerns in a letter that detailed the existential harm to this life…and to the Truth. It was in the hopes of getting some support that I wrote this letter describing what is arguably one of the worst breaches in the awakening community.

(A link to the PDF of that letter appears at the end of this blog-post.)

Over time it became very clear that not only would no help be forthcoming but that there was inordinate cover-up and collusion for the very ‘story’ I was/am reporting on.

Shortly after writing that letter I started a private message thread with approximately 100+ people that I invited who were current FaceBook ‘friends.’

Of those 100 at least a couple dozen were/are currently acting teachers and others well known in the non-dual spiritual community.

Many well-known teachers were/are present on that thread as well as Rick Archer of BATGAP (Buddha at the Gas Pump) and

Ralitza Zaya Benazzo and Maurizio Benazzo, co-founders of SAND (Science & Nonduality Conference).

(At this time a separate letter explaining what had happened was addressed to Zaya and Maurizio. No answer was forthcoming.) Clairvoyantly I felt Zaya’s discomfort.

During the past couple of years, those on that private message thread bore witness to the unfolding of my deepening understanding of what had occurred and the nature of what, ultimately, looked like collusion and cover-up in the non-dual community.

Significantly, as I deepened in my understanding of the obvious collusion…people began to leave the thread.

While I appreciated the willingness to stay ‘on topic’ and not go down endless rabbit holes around abuse of power, eerily, there was an airtight silence regarding the harm I was describing among the folks that remained on the thread.

Why?

As the saying goes: Silence = Complicity

That silence became even more airtight as the enormity of the scope of collusion to cover for the existential harm to myself…and my family…became clearly evident.

Rick Archer…one of the founding board members of the ASI began pushing back on my reporting with the following gaslighting:

“All I’m saying to you Leslie is, this thing seems to dominate your life. Is it really your mission in life to bring these people to justice, or whatever you hope to do? How is that coming along? How long have you been at it and how much progress have you made?”

“I’m sure that these guys are putting much less attention on you than you are on them. That to which we give our attention grows stronger in our life. Want to get them out of your life? Stop giving them attention.”

In correspondence with me one person (who will remain unnamed) finally stated the unspoken obvious:

“…everyone plays dumb to maintain a whitewashed narrative — at your expense …(and) is lying about the same thing…”

Thank you for following this story and for your continued interest in seeing actual integrity in high-level spiritual teachings. ❦

Please email with any questions at: Leslie@IntegrityInTruth.com  

_________________________❦

Please use the following link to access the letter to the ASI. At the end of that letter is a link to a short (22 minutes) recording detailing the harm to 4-generations of my family.(There have been several editions of this letter…the factual meaning and substance remains entirely the same.)

https://www.dropbox.com/s/apmlmhd89jjwvig/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A04%3A23.pdf?dl=0

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When High-Level Light meets with High-Level Shadow…

It is said that eclipses serve as catalysts for timely change. This is being written a few days before the full moon lunar eclipse in Gemini on Nov. 30, 2020 which will be followed a couple weeks later by a total solar eclipse in Sagittarius, two weeks later, on December 14. Additionally Neptune…the planetary karmic revealer is stationing direct on November 28th. More and more I am amazed at the accuracy of these planetary reflections and energetics.

In this life I have, never before, felt such a dramatic change of direction…not intention…but a radical change of direction. What I had once considered so perfectly beautiful, and true…and had, certainly, been so devoted to…now had the makings of the worst possible nightmare. As a ‘holder of information’ for high-level spiritual teachers, that nightmare has been variously described, by those who know the situation, as a ‘Soul’s torture chamber’…akin to being ‘buried alive’ and a ‘cosmic betrayal.’ 

Those are accurate descriptions and not-at-all exaggerated.

While this situation does not include the typical breaches of integrity commonly known as sexual manipulations (and is, most certainly, not making light of such) this particular situation is far more pervasive, insidious, systemic and dis-turbing (of Integrity) in its use of over-arching lies, deceptions, and cronyism involving cover-up, collusion, coercion and the extreme misuse of high-level siddhas (occult powers) over this life and the lives of my family.

These breaches have…and are…demanding extensive cover-up throughout the spiritual community…inclusive of other high-level contemporary teachers and certainly many in the general awakening community. 

The ‘information’ I hold is in regards to the supposed separation of the teachings of Nome and Russell Smith of SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA) and Candace O’Denver, aka Candice Rinpoche of Great Freedom/Balanced View in Marin, CA. The burden for the lies regarding that supposed separation fell  squarely on my shoulders…for a decade, plus. 

In the (exact) words of Russell Smith, in private session many years ago: “You will fall through the cracks.” 

I had no idea what he was talking about at the time. That fact of falling ‘through the cracks’ and that it was ‘not intentional to me’…were the exact words of Paul Selig’s Guides!

I knew this was not ‘intentional to me.’ There was always enormous dedication, not only student-to-teacher but teacher-to-student. 

Yet…this breach, requiring enormous manipulation and suffocating control to keep it under wraps, would have never have happened without all the lying.

The lying, deflection and gas-lighting in the spiritual community regarding their knowledge of these teachers and of the situation I found myself in is systemic. This website exposes only a partial reveal of the reasons for my reporting on such over-arching corruption, coercion and collusion in the non-dual community regarding this ‘information.’ 

The teachers involved are high-level teachers with a certain ‘standard of gold’ teaching…and reputation.

That ‘gold-standard’ is the high-level Light.

Yet…there were lies and deceptions meant to control and manipulate seekers…some very long and devoted seekers who had given extensively, not only, of their dedication to Truth but of their time, labor and money.

The steps (occult and otherwise) taken by the main teachers to cover for their extensive and highly-coordinated lies and deceptions constitutes the high-level shadow. 

This included not only high-level shadow of advanced siddhas (occult powers) in the form of ‘auric blocks’ (for control) and ‘psychic implants’ (for surveillance) utilized for top-to-bottom control by the main teacher, Nome, but shadow in the form of collusion throughout, primarily, the patriarchal Non-dual spiritual community. 

This collusion included patriarchal teachers in the non-dual community as well as women non-dual teachers involved in a type of ‘false sisterhood’ based on shadow feminine energies left over from loyalty to certain patriarchy. This loyalty involved the same collusion, coercion and widespread gaslighting.

It is imperative that seekers are aware of the potential for such occult control, manipulation and extreme misuse (indeed, any misuse) of siddhas….even, and perhaps most especially, when everything seems to be pointing to high clarity and Light. 

“All that glitters is not gold.” ?

(Photo image: blossom in the full of the Moon…by Max Dupain)