This post will discuss a bit of the common use, in non-dual teachings, of imposed suffering as the primary mechanism to trigger an awakening and the notion that, as an individual, you have no inherent worth as a Human Being.
The early days at SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth) were primarily devotional…for all of us. We were led to believe that Nome was, then-and-forever, a Sanyasi. When he changed his mind and decided to enter into a relationship many of us who were deeply devoted, myself included, suffered immensely. I’ve never been a jealous person…and Nome has acknowledged this publicly even saying, somewhat exasperated,
in Satsang “Ok…so you’re not the jealous type!” (The pitting of women-against-women is a classic, unfortunate component of patriarchal authoritarian structures.) I suffered the physical symptoms of what medicine, now, correctly calls a ‘broken heart’ manifesting as a dangerous ventricular arrhythmia. The physical symptoms of this precipitous dynamic resulted not only in a heart arrhythmia but, later, as a dangerously sustained ultra-high-blood pressure from the stress of being forced (under threat) to hold the lies belonging to those teachers. Karma that was deliberately foisted on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family, while we were deliberately separated to ensure those deceptions would never become public knowledge.
In a taped private session Russell Smith told me that I had suffered more than most at SAT…and this was before what would, later, occur at their hands.
Russell’s words should have been the critical, advanced warning.
About a decade+ into intense practice at SAT…and coming fresh off a retreat…I was going down-the-stairs to the basement dungeon where I packaged up the SAT book orders. I was beyond worried with how-on-earth I was going to do all the tasks that kept piling up.
I was SO worried by the time I got down the stairs that I truly felt I would have a heart attack.
Right then-and-there, I concentrated on the task in front of me. Instantly I expanded out as pure Space and became omni-present. I was the rock outside-the-door next to my desk…etc.
In that very moment, Nome called the bookstore desk-phone and said “See? That wasn’t so hard!”
During my time in the basement my desk was located in the hallway next to several of the rooms that SAT rented out to ensure the solvency of the temple. I used to be the person in charge of those rentals as it was my idea to rent out the unused spaces on the property in order to ‘save the temple.’ After my stint renting out rooms that service was given to another member. One day a man walked out of his room and, going by me, deliberately brushed-up against me in the hallway where I worked. As an empath who is deeply sensitive to energies, every-fiber-of-my-being went on red-alert. I ran upstairs, grabbed Bob Haber who was in the kitchen and pulled him into the bookstore and locking the door behind us. I was too shaken to even speak. Bob had to call Siva-Loka (the name for the sage’s residence) to have Russell try and calm me down.
That man in the basement was later convicted of murder in Oregon!!
When I asked HOW and WHY someone would possibly rent to such a person I was told by Aya Oden it was because “He was wearing white!!” 🤦
I would no longer work in the books as long as that tenant was there. Nome, knowing of my trust in him, decided to use this precipitous dynamic of intense fear as sadhana and convinced me to stay in my job…even while that, later convicted and imprisoned, man was still there!
Shortly thereafter the teachings shifted from devotional practices to self-inquiry and the, supposed, split between the teachings of Nome and Russell took place.
In my own practice a lot of Wisdom flowed on that devotion. Just as it had when I was a young girl who came in to this life devoted to The Christ. In early grammar school it was through that devotion, and an unwavering deep trust from prior lifetimes, that I would experience bliss states and, what is now referred to, as ‘flow.’
Inquiry was never my practice.
Because I had seen too much regarding the deceptions of Nome and Russ, I was finally asked to leave by Jim Clark.
Approximately a year after leaving Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (along with others in the non-dual community notably Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi etc.) made the decision to place the entirety of the karma for their lies and deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family.
In one of my earlier attempts at obtaining ‘help’ from a teacher, I attended a rare talk in the Santa Cruz area given by Jeff Foster. While I could not describe my predicament publicly (I had been silenced, under threat) it was readily apparent that Jeff knew of my former teachers and of what had occurred at their hands. His answer would be one that would freeze this Soul: he indicated there would be a “crucifixion.’
That was the actual description he used.
It is now glaring clear that the entire non-dual ‘community’ – notably all the currently acting teachers – who did not ask these teachers to own-their-own actions was agreeing with the outright taking of this life…and the lives of (4-generations) my family.
Later the precipitous dynamic took a very dark turn manifesting as the ‘compression years.’
⚛️ The ‘Compression Years’…of isolation and deliberate silencing (under a death threat) at the hands of non-dual teachers…in which Adyashanti played a key role: https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/
This existential isolation and silencing was for the express, and sole, purpose of ensuring the lies of these teachers would never become public knowledge. An arrangement of existential confinement was justifiable to these teachers under this ‘precipitous dynamic.’ This confinement (and existential surveillance and restriction) served the purpose of keeping their deceptions from being known. It also fit in precisely with their spiritual concepts and beliefs that intense suffering would result in freedom. Criminal activity was easily justifiable…in their minds.
The precipitous dynamic of induced suffering is, of course, nothing new and has been extolled by countless poets and teachers as the method for transcending the more mundane suffering of life as a Human on this planet. This criminal use of suffering would also, be beyond reproach.
In the words of the famous poet, Rumi: “Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”
There are countless examples of such ancient teachings which current teachers rest upon to justify the approach of induced suffering.
As we began to see seekers reporting on abuses and controls in the teachings of such teachers as Osho, Mooji, Byron Katie, Marc Gafni etc…we see the use of the very teachings to gaslight and silence the very ones reporting on harm.
Perhaps there is no greater example of this precipitous dynamic than what played out in the Osho space.
David Solomon who was with Osho in Pune and Eastern Oregon and later had a close connection with UG Krishnamurti, talked about Osho’s Rajneeshpuram “experiment to provoke God” in a similar vein:
“I believe (Gurdjieffian) devices were used by him to possibly awaken a few at the expense of the many. About that I’ve been very vocal myself. Real crimes against humanity were committed in an effort to bring about “the New Man.” No bueno.”
As with everything hidden, we are now seeing some of the more sordid aspects of neglect and sexual abuse emerge as the now-grown children who were victims during Rajneeshpuram times are finally speak out.
While I only, ever, attended one talk of Byron Katie I knew of people who had spent significant time with her. I listened, often aghast, at some of her answers and directives to people attending her gatherings. In many of those answers I witnessed a heightened spiritual arrogance combined with a tragic attempt to subvert our Humanity with mind-bending denialism.
Byron Katie’s teaching is a prime example of the cultic type of teaching based on the false notion that suffering is the necessary key.
As she stated, “You are your only hope, because we’re not changing until you do. Our job is to keep coming at you, as hard as we can, with everything that angers, upsets, or repulses you, until you understand. We love you that much, whether you’re aware of it or not.”
Some of the more, crude examples of her directives: “Boundaries are an act of selfishness,” and “Victims are violent people.”
In order for the ‘precipitous dynamic’ of imposed suffering to be ‘successful’ it was necessary that this dynamic be housed within a cultic container of over-arching control.
In the case of SAT…these teachings were housed within a strict cultic eco-system…unknown to most of us. There was a time when I would have never described SAT as a cult. Yet now, with much distance, I see the various glaring components (the following is from an AI overview of cults): a charismatic, authoritarian leader, extreme or unconventional beliefs, strict control over members’ lives, isolation from outside society, manipulation tactics, pressure to devote excessive time and loyalty to the group, and often a lack of tolerance for dissent or critical thinking, all contributing to a dependent and sometimes harmful relationship with the group and its leader.
These were/are all true.
While many aspects of these teachings are, of course, in accord with unified Truth…and some have awakened (however one defines that for one’s self) the harm to the followers was, in most instances, never accounted for.
⚛️ Ajata and the wide-open-door-to-abuse: https://integrityintruth.com/ajata-and-the-wide-open-door-to-abuse/
I do believe that not only are these ‘methods’ being phased out but, perhaps, we are beginning to see the end of what many felt was the most efficacious route to awakening: that of a living teacher.
Thank you to all the readers following this story…you are so deeply appreciated. ❣️🙏🌷
Images: Crucifixion courtesy Bing Images.
Gratitude Robert Saltzman and John Troy for the “What was I thinking” meme posted on FaceBook.