Hands-down, one of the stickiest issues for me in leaving the cult of radical non-duality was the one of superiority…and of barely being able to tolerate ‘others’ who were not anywhere near a similar path. The notion that we were the “chosen ones” had not only been a very large part of the unseen, subtle indoctrination but one that was, quite literally, embedded in my bones over the course of my 20+ years at SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth). This dynamic was not only endemic to this cult but is seen playing out, similarly, in much larger cults, such as the Osho cult. While certainly not stated out loud, it was deeply implied that we were ‘The Chosen Ones’…Narcissism at its height.
One of the biggest…and most fraught…downfalls of such arrogance is that this worldview lays the perfect ground for the justification of lies-and-deceptions. The fact that Nome and Russell Smith were/are serial liars is well-known in the non-dual community. The entire set-up of the organizations at Nome and Sasvati’s SAT (Society of Abidance in Truth), Russell Smith and Helga Schleiter-Smith’s “Way of Sudden Awakening” and Candace O’Denver and Russell Smith’s “Great Freedom/Balanced View” were/are ALL based on lies, deceptions and emotional manipulations of their followers.
These types of tactics are, in no way, confined to these teachers but are part of a broad-based aspect of functioning within many fundamentalist groups. The fact that these groups were/are “non-dual” is NO exception to this destructive and coercive dynamic.
One of the truly sad aspects, within my own experience, is knowing that there are, still, people at SAT who are subject to this arrogance of manipulation…some who are the very people Nome set-out to help: the Indians. Questions during Satsang by those who have ‘awakened’ (according to Nome’s definition) are staged-and-repeated by those same people.
To this day non-duality is hailed as the equivalent to the Teachings of The Christ and The Buddha whose teachings involved so much more than mere non-duality. There is a very definitive sense of right-and-wrong and ethical standards.
Many non-dual teachers, such as Leonard Jacobson, actually advertise their programs on this false equivalencyto the Teachings of The Christ…as did Nome and Russell Smith. I had to point out to Leonard on one such thread that The Christ nor The Buddha would have ever given a pass to such actions as described in this letter: ⚛️ ASI LETTER (Assoc. for Spiritual ‘Integrity’) 03/06/2023 at the end of which is a link to a short recording (22 min.) detailing the occult controls over 4-generations of my family… to which Rick Archer said to just “walk away”…https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0&e=1&fbclid=IwAR2hNCDCiHgzRQrXqce9WFFH5vgHGHoGlda3PUlGKT2n1qMuoFfoMadMbvs
The HUMAN side of this is that 4-generations of my family were involved in the fallout from the sweeping deceptions of these teachers. We’ve all seen that one can be awake to Wholeness and yet that, in no way, means one is free from shadow or is somehow a balanced and decent human.
When there is the arrogance of superiority there is no room for discussion.
“Non-duality has LONG had within its approach the trap of just another superiority view of “spirituality/being-ness.”Any “superior” approach, whether it’s Christian, non-dual, Buddhist, Hindi, Muslim, atheist, etc. has already chosen a slippery slope practice, and invites the opportunity for exploitation, control, judgement, and exclusion.If one hasn’t processed and cleared out their subconscious “psychological basement” of cultural, religious, and familial fear-based and limiting beliefs, one will be susceptible to being controlled or capable of being controlled by a variety of “monsters” in various religious, monastic, or political garb.” ~Judith Froemming
While I absolutely agree with Judith’s statement there are many who become entangled due to the unseen-and-controlling mis-use of siddis (occult powers) which so easily mimic The Divine. This was most certainly the case at SAT. One could have cleared out their “psychological basement” all they want and still get entangled with these unseen forces.
Mere non-duality is just that: it is wholeness. In the words of FaceBook friend Kim Rome referring to my description of ‘awake’ non-dual teachers she responded : “They are not awake. They are living in a transcendent reality that is marked by spiritual materialism and bypassing.” The depth of this statement is deeply profound.
In many, if not ALL, ways…the teaching of non-duality is a teaching on self-betrayal.
In the Universal, on-going, law of as-above-so-below we are seeing play-out the arrogant superiority of fundamentalist, white Christian nationalism. So-much-so that the crosses being worn by all those in the Trump administration are beginning to burn-the-skin of those who wear them with the growing reveal of criminality, in many forms, but in a form most heinous: the cover-up of global child sex trafficking. Possibly the largest cover-up in the world of sex crime. ALL this emanating from the white, fundamentalist Christianity as spelled-out, in its entirety, in the document: Project 2025 and carried out by the man-behind-the-curtain and architect of the diabolical family separations: Stephen Miller. (link below).
The statement below accurately sums up the absolutist teachings of Nome, dismissing our Humanity as essentially unreal, where ANY action…even actions of criminality…will be covered-for by the fundamentalism of his teachings…until they aren’t!
Simply put, a cult is a person and/or organization ensuring abject control over its members thru a variety of means. It has been widely touted that intelligent people would never end-up in such situations… yet, some of the most intelligent folks certainly got ensnared in the Osho cult as well as the cult I was involved with for well over 2-decades.
“A cult is a group, religious organization or family structure of any size led by a charismatic leader. Cults control their members through manipulation, abuse, and coercion. These groups feature transcendent belief systems, and create self-sealing systems from which followers find it difficult to escape.” ~Lalich Center on Cults and Coercion
My time at SAT (the Society of Abidance in ‘Truth’) spanned over 2-decades beginning in late 1989. During that time I would have never considered the teachings of non-duality, as presented by Nome and Russell Smith, to be a cult. THAT …was/is precisely how insular SAT is.
Let me explain….
Somewhat similar to Donald Trump saying exactly what he is going to do (as-above-so-below) Russell Smith actually exclaimed, one day, for all of us to hear: “Cultic tactics actually work!”
That should have been the obvious-and-decisive indicator for me to leave…immediately.
Yet…what over-road even such an outrageous exclamation were the underlying, unseen high-level occult practices of a siddha…in this case Nome. As a siddha, Nome had/has access to occult powers (siddis)…which can literally do anything. It was this, plus the fact that Nome knew-that-I-knew of his lies and was seemingly helping me in the silent background (THAT is a whole other story!).
While a true Siddha rarely shows these to his/her followers my experience was the perception of MANY siddis with this teacher. So many, I almost wrote a book about them as they were often hilarious and, by-far, most were benevolent and helpful in the earlier years of my highly-devoted practice.
Those siddis were helpful until Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi and many other non-dual teachers in their orbit made the decision to place the entire burden for their lies and deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family.
It was then that those siddis (occult powers) turned deeply malevolent and controlling over every.single.aspect.of.this.life.Those siddis were SO controlling that someone described my situation as a “Soul murder” akin to being “buried alive.” Those are excruciatinglyaccurate descriptions.
An apt quote from Andrew Harvey on contemporary spiritual teachers:
“It is my belief that 90 percent of the so-called masters in the modern world are not enlightened at all but are in fact occult magicians. The occult magician will use his or her occult powers to ensnare the devotee in a posture of adoration by feeding them visionary experiences, which may seem to open things up for the devotee but actually keeps one dependent on the guru. It’s a kind of drug pushing as dangerous on the spiritual level as cocaine or heroin is on the physical. Because people don’t know the difference between the divine and the occult, nor how accurately the occult can mimic the divine, nor how easily occult powers can be cultivated by the unscrupulous and ambitious. They take these powers and experiences to be unmistakable signs of divine presence and go on worshipping as divine these people who have, in fact, shown that they are neither good, nor kind, nor humble, nor generous.”~Andrew Harvey
The lies I was forced (under a death threat) to hold were in regard to the supposed split of the Smith brothers (Nome and Russell) and Russell’s development of Great Freedom/Balanced View with Candace O’Denver. While I never met Candace in person, nor visited her center, I had a reluctant meeting in 2016/17 with Kevin Corlette and Britt Posmer who had just finished a visit to ‘Great Freedom.’ In that meeting I asked what that center was like. Hesitatingly, Kevin stated (paraphrasing) it was “Far too controlling for his liking.” Alternatively, Britt mentioned to stay dedicated to a root Guru. My intuitive sense, in that moment, was that she was indicating for me to stay silent. Coming from Britt, who I greatly admired, this statement actually kept me silent for another couple years.
The teachings of Nome, Russell Smith/Candace O’Denver, etc. grew-up out of the morally corrupt neo-advaita teachings of, primarily, Osho Rajneesh but may have, also, been influenced by Adi Da (who goes by a variety of names stemming from Franklin Jones), Mooji etc. Osho’s entire cult is wrapped in the mesmerizing, albeit beautiful, musical culture of Deva Premal and Miten occasionally accompanied by Manose (Miten and Manose have their own reported sexual exploits).
The following is an important comment by Jeffrey Wolf Green (founder of Evolutionary Astrology) on the spiritual evolution of Osho. I feel it applies equally to Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’ Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi, Byron Katie and many other currently acting non-dual teachers:
“Rajneesh experienced a fall from Grace, because of intense, spiritual delusions of grandeur, and a secret egocentric agenda that pointed the way to himself as the vehicle to salvation. Since he was exposed as a fraud who perverted natural laws because of his own self-interest, we now know that he was really here to fulfill his own soul’s evolutionary intentions. There was a huge emphasis on paying his Saturnian Karmic dues (Saturn exactly opposite Pluto), and having to learn some very harsh lessons around maturity, cooperation, and taking personal responsibility for the consequences of his actions/choices: hence, the massive fall from Grace that was as an evolutionarily necessity. As the mask was finally removed, and his living-a-lie exposed as fraudulent, Pluto, his own soul, would reveal the truth that was not in harmony with natural law, and eliminate (Pluto), the false doctrines to reveal the truth of his deception to the world. The deception was that he had created teachings of the natural truth, butin truth had lured his followers through a sexual vibration, not a spiritual one. Rajneesh was a sexually realized guru, not a God realized one.” (Page 149 of 538 of Neptune: Whispers from Eternity by Jeffrey Wolf Green)
This KEY statement in the above paragraph: “The deception was that he had created teachings of the natural truth, but in truth had lured his followers through a sexual vibration, not a spiritual one. Rajneesh was a sexually realized guru, not a God realized one…”
The above statement is one that accurately describes Nome, Adi Da, Mooji, Candace O’Denver, Amma (the hugging ‘Saint’) and so many other currently acting non-dual teachers…including the teachings of ACIM (A Course in Miracles). They are not God realized.
As sexually realized gurus…the use of sex… includingthe sexual abuse of under-age girls in the ashrams…is now coming to light as seen in the various reports of the children, now grown women, who grew up in those cults.
As reports have it, by the time I arrived at SAT in 1989, many of the sexual exploits had been “cleaned up.”
As many were/are awakening to the ‘natural truth’ of wholeness…by whatever means: NDE’s (near death experiences), their own attention or thru the current non-dual teachers…people began hanging-out their signs in the hopes for the often-lucrative teaching of non-duality which…to this day…is hyped as the equivalent of the teaching of The Christ and The Buddha…which they clearly are not.
The real danger is in the declaration, and false claim, that this non-dual ‘realization’ was THE actual ‘awakened spirituality.’
Facebook Friend David Bingham accurately describes the teachers of neo-advaita:
“…in this modern age the Neo-Advaitan tradition of the truth existing ultimately in the sphere of the non-dual (which is followed by so many, with so many esteemed teachers) is a deeply flawed model of understanding of the nature of the human condition and its relationship with the Infinite. It is a form of understanding which has an in-built tendency to deeply exacerbate illusions concerning the experiences of life and in turn to generate rigidities around its interpretation. In doing so it has great potential to be harmful to the fundamental well-being of its adherents, all the more so because it dresses itself in the clothes of liberation. It is a false and incompletefreedom of the age.”
Moral-and-just, neo-advaita is NOT. The old patriarchal paradigm of abuse and control-over-others to ‘free’ people from their attachments to a ‘world’…takes the approach straight-out of the ancient Rumi (among others) play-book: “Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field…I will meet you there.” These teachers literally felt that right-and-wrong – and KARMA – did not apply to them in their transcendent selves.
“The paradox is that the character/ego persona of even the awakened Self still goes thru its cause and effect as long as it dons a physical body – that’s why masters fall ill or lose someone etc – but as awakened Self they are wholly detached from the role….thus its effects don’t affect them!Thus no-me no karma! But cause and effect IS; it’s like a board game on which the cosmic play plays out!” ~Divyaa Kumar
The teachings of neo-advaita/non-duality were/are completely devoid of the ethical integrity that is the Hallmark of true Spirituality.
Leonard Jacobson, as well as many others, actually marketed their teachings as the equivalent of the teachings of The Christ and The Buddha!
Instead of the altruism of genuine Spirituality we have the arrogance of such closed systems looking to preserve the non-dual brand (and their view of what ‘awakening’ is) and the brands of various non-dual teachers such as:
-SAND (Science & Non-Duality)
-Rick Archer’s BatGap (Buddha at the Gas Pump)
-The relatively new association of supposed over-sight: the ASI (Association of Spiritual Integrity) co-founded by Rick Archer and Jac O’Keeffe shortly after I began reporting on this website: ⚛️ https://www.integrityintruth.com
Some have said I am “anti-teacher.” This is not entirely an accurate statement yet, at this point, it is mostly true. As with any system, there are some who are far more dangerous than others…and the scary paradox is that those who may appear the most credible can, also, be the most dangerous.
I now feel that the risk of associating with any given teacher is far greater than, certainly, our own ever-present-and-direct line to God, Source, Spirit, whatever name feels right-and-true for you… and that that Line is ever pure and undefiled by corruption and control.
In the words of Ken Wilber: “Unless you are on a path that includes not only ‘waking up’…but ’growing-up’ AND ‘cleaning-up’…all 3-in-one package…you are going to get f**ked!!You WILL end up in a bad, bad way because one of these is going to go sour.That is THE major, unfortunate, path that the majority of people end up taking… and they end up wasting a life.Samadhi does not, of course, address (ANY) shadow elements…in some cases it makes it *worse* as there is pure dis-identification.”
Looking back, the characteristics the cult at SAT included the following:
-an airtight insularity and airtight secrecy
-the cutting off of anything worldly…the duality-of-non-duality
-strict dictates of dress and actions
-an efficient money-making organization (including the concept of tithing and loan ‘forgiveness’) and assigning your will to SAT as recipient
-an extensive web of lies and deceptions
-cutting people off from their families and friends
-extensive ‘love-bombing’ by those in the non-dual community looking to keep the deceptions I was forced to hold from ever becoming public knowledge.
-using the teachings themselves to gaslight the one who might report on the harm
– polarized, us-versus-them mentality…mirroring the utter duality of non-duality
-an exalted and arrogant status of, not only the teacher, but of its members
-immense control over your time in the forms of service
-pitting some people against others in the group…in the olden days it would be women competing with other women…a sad aspect of the patriarchy
-manipulation of how the group is perceived through publications etc.
-the use of (and threats by) mostly unseen-and-unknown siddis (occult powers)
-reliance on and alignment with traditional spiritual texts and historical Saints and figures
-collusion with other non-dual teachers
-little to no disagreement with the main teacher(s)
-deference to the teacher
Thank you for following my work. Please leave me a comment if you have ever experienced similar or are currently with a group…and, always, if you have any questions and/or comments..
-Joel Kramer and Diana Alstad’s “Guru Papers – Masks of Authoritarian Control” (a free PDF of the entire book): ⚛️ https://www.joeldiana.com/?page_id=8
and the profound pointing of intuitive astrology in the understanding of Karmic SoulCycles
“We can’t really understand our place in the universe without grasping the principle of evolution over lifetimes.” ~Alan Leo
My story has been one of a lot of sacrifice in knowing things that I could not talk about. In this life it was the knowing of the lies and deceptions of non-dual teachers…teachers who then silenced me (under threat) and isolated me for a decade+ to ensure those lies would never become public knowledge. This effectively placed the entire burden for those deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family.
Would those lies, ultimately, become secrets that I keep forever, essentially, betraying my own life…and the lives of my family?
That was the single-most karmic lesson I had to answer in this life. And there was no other modality more helpful in digging myself out of this existential hole…a ‘grave’ that some have likened to a “Soul murder” akin to being “buried alive” resulting in what Carl Jung referred to as ‘Soul Fragmentation’…than intuitive astrology, otherwise known as Evolutionary Astrology.
Evolutionary Astrology has been attributed to both Steven Forrest and Jeffrey Wolf Green. Both have been deeply helpful on my journey. “We can’t make sense of the birth chart without giving credence to the conditions of prior lifetimes.” ~Steven Forrest (in interview with Chris Brennan on The Astrology Podcast: ⚛️ https://youtu.be/itkBygnVqtg?si=Zz11I5RNC82id5oc )
Before I go into a few details of the chart, there were a quite a few life circumstances, a few which I will describe, that point to prior lifetime(s) of spiritual suppression and oppression (and, possible, crucifixion). Intuiting that the birth chart represents the Soul’s navigating tool from that karma, the circumstances in this life pointed to a karmic SoulCycle recreating itself, in present-time, for the very purpose of resolve…should I ‘choose.’
Firstly…I am not an astrologer.
That said, and perhaps it was fate, I was extraordinarily blessed to have come in contact with a handful of intuitive astrologers who are deeply connected and ‘awake’ Cosmic readers. It is to these highly intuitive readers of the Cosmos that I am deeply indebted. I consider it a profound display of The-Grace-of-The-Universe that these astrologers crossed my path, at just the right moment.
It was the generosity of these connections, in combination with the modern-day astrology software, that enabled me to follow along with the intricate and complex language of the cosmos-in-motion and the connection of those planetary objects with the astrological map of my birth chart. Without these astrologers and the attending software, it would have been impossible.
As a young girl, in 2nd-4th grade there were profound spiritual experiences tied to a deep devotion to The Christ. This devotion, and full-on trust, was so deep that it would result in what is now commonly known as bliss, flow-states and experiences of manifestations. During this time, that devotion led me to attend church daily for several months after which I noticed certain disturbing inconguencies in what was being presented…even though the services were delivered in Latin!
Yet, it was never my family who placed such spirituality upon me. My mother was a divorced woman who had married my Catholic step-father. His roots were in a deeply religious family who were chased out of Austria by Hitler because his father was a religious writer. Because of their marriage my mother and step-father were essentially ex-communicated and, because of that, they never influenced me towards the church. In fact, my mother once exclaimed “If this is what your God is about, I want nothing to do with it (referring to the church).”
Thus, my experiences and participation in the church, at such a young age, were never due to a familial pressure or influence. The extraordinary pull was from some entirely different place.
Instead, it’s my feeling that my devotion to The Christ was from some ‘thing’…or some time…wholly different and un-nameable. That devotion would have HAD to have been from a prior lifetime.
This connection/devotion seemed to fade away as I entered middle and high-school, and although the manifestations continued I never thought they were out of the ordinary.
Fast forward to 1989 when I met non–dual teacher Nome. There was instant recognition, along with the perception of his occult powers (siddis), from day-one. These powers he rarely showed to others. My feeling, at the time, was that this was a teacher manifest similarly to what I had experienced as a young girl with The Christ.
Those who follow my posts know that I, ultimately, became the ‘holder’ for the lies of Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver…all ‘awake’ teachers looking to awaken others in this ‘Rush to Transcendence.’
There were several instances with these teachers that pointed to past lives. In a first private Nome stated, at the onset: “You are one blessed and graced individual.” I had no idea to what he was referencing.
Nome’s teaching was primarily one of renunciation and negation. ANY negation went entirely against everything I experienced as a young girl…where everything was included. Nothing was left out.
I expressed this to Nome in this private where he conceded and then said to “… welcome everything.” More importantly, he said I “must have renounced in a prior lifetime.” In the moment, that struck-a-deep-cord and made complete sense.
Throughout my 2-decade+ time with those teachers/teachings, the primary teaching was internal as I did not align with negation or renunciation of any kind.
Separately Russell, Nome’s brother, stopped me in the hallway near the SAT chai room and remarked upon my posture. I have slight kyphosis and scoliosis, which I never paid much attention to. He said this posture might be a response to a prior lifetime of shame and isolation. That, too, rang true.
Fast forward to somewhat more current times when, during “The Compression Years” (2013-2015), I would occasionally order a computerized astrological reading from the Steven Forrest website. I was always amazed at how accurate they were. It was during these years of deliberate isolation and silencing (under a death threat) that I could feel the truth…of even a report generated by the computer…as the geometry of the stars doesn’t lie.
In 2016, I had a free 15 minute reading with intuitive astrologer Kristin Fontana. In that reading she said, from the get-go, that I had the same axis and houses which may have tied me to the time of The Christ…that I might have been there.
That, too, rang true.
Later, when I was deliberating deeply if-and-when-and-how I would release-the-information about the lies and deceptions that I had been forced (under threat) to hold Kristin suggested I meditate on the following profound question: “When you are no longer in the physical body, and you are looking back upon your life, what would your Soul have wanted you to do?”
That settled it.
In order to release and end this Soul Cycle…and free myself…I would have to regain my voice and exercise justice for myself, and my family.
As my understanding of astrology began to unfold for me…so, too, did the unfolding of my reporting on, not only, my former teachers but of the sweeping deception in the non-dual community that surrounded this “cosmic betrayal” – an apt description of sweeping betrayal by Matt Licata of what happened in this life.
“The principle of karma…extends lifetime-to-lifetime-to-lifetime…until we break the pattern. Your birth chart is your Soul’s lesson plan. Ergo, your birth chart represents everything ‘wrong’ with you… and how to fix it. There is humility…and the triumphant appearance of human potential.” ~Steven Forrest
I slowly began to understand some of the planetary influences…notably what played out with Pluto in Capricorn (top-down-authority) during the entire time I had been silenced since 2008. In my natal chart Pluto is in Leo 8th house in strong opposition to my Sun at 15° Aquarius.
Additionally, there is a grand-cross in my natal chart with female spiritual warrior archetypes: Eris and Black Moon Lilith both in aspect, respectively, to my mid-heaven and ascendent…and in strong square to the electric Uranus.
As Astrologer Pam Gregory has stated regarding these female archetypes: “Eris fights against elitism, against deception…and against injustice. Just like Black Moon Lilith…she is unrelenting in doing that. She is the warrior sister of Mars and reflects tremendous beneficial purpose for the collective. ERIS archetype: goddess of discord…the female awakener. She gives not a jot for consequences! She’s about Truth, integrity and waking people up so their needs are being heard.”
Henry Seltzer, who has written a book on Eris, stated: “Mars fights because he wants to and Eris fights because she has to.” (It’s Henry’s TimePassages Astrology software that has been SO helpful: ⚛️ https://www.astrograph.com/astrology-software )
While all these astrologers were/are deeply helpful there were some astrologers who were obviously concerned that I would spill-the-beans regarding the deceptions of non-dual teachers. In my view, that is being loyal to a dogma…and not to the truth, and, certainly, not to the complete independence and lack-of-bias of The Cosmos.
Truth-is-not-Truth where there is a lack of integrity.
So my reporting began.
As I began to dig myself out of the existential controls-over this-life The Universe offered an intuitive astrologer who generously posted free weekly updates via podcast. This astrologer’s extraordinary cosmic read on the energies would literally walk me out-of-the-ground of having been “buried alive” (an accurate description). Her name is Molly McCord. She exhibited no such loyalty to non-dual teachers that I had intuited from several other astrologers but gave deeply intuitive reads on the Cosmic weather and how it supported our “Individuation” (a Jungian term) which I might have, previously-and-mistakenly, equated with ‘ego.’
For actual awakened freedom some people may need to diminish their ego…for others, they may need to build their ego up!
My Chiron (the wounded healer) is in the 1st house challenging my right to even exist.
It was when I posted my birth chart for past-life suggestions that my Astrologer-Friend Shellie Enteen pointed out the South Node in my 9th house. On, even, quick-glance she said the following about my birth chart: “This is your birth chart. Looks like the Sag rising with Chiron conjunct is that the Part-of-Spirit near the Galactic Center would make you crusade for truth in this realm. Also, your chart ruler is Jupiter and conjunct Mars and the north node in the third house would suggest these communications about spiritual matters and something you might be angry (Mars) about that felt like victimization (Pisces). But that is the evolutionary direction, whereas the south node Virgo in the 9th was the old lives of giving into a restrictive dogma through a spiritual teacher. Also Saturn in Libra there suggests this is karma to clear.”
“The most important single contribution of twentieth-century astrology is that astrology is not a map of one’s fixed destiny but is a potential map of the unfolding of the authentic, higher self.” ~Robert Hand, from the foreword of Liz Greene’s Saturn: A New Look at an Old Devil. This would be the job of this lifetime: the profound healing of my Saturn.
Of course, there is no clear-cut textbook explanation, but what you intuitively feel when looking at your own chart. The entire chart is karmic!!
“This deeper kind of astrology is high voltage work . It may have been our fate to experience certain things, but it’s our freedom in how we process it internally.” ~Steven Forrest
“Energy is neither created nor destroyed.” ~Albert Einstein… describing a core principle of physics and, as it turns out, of our Soul.
There are many who knew/know that Nome and Russell Smith were/are serial liars. Of the many shadow elements of these teachers, deception was/is the mostserious.
Not everyone sees through the energy of lying. Yet I remember, during one Sunday’s Satsang, when the lies were SO thick I wondered HOW-on-earth those teachers could possibly keep track of all the lies!
There is a certain level of clairvoyance here.
When it was discovered that I had seen through the lies of Nome and Russ…and would not (could not)go along with the narrative they were putting forth…which pitted one teacher-against-the-other…Nome and Russ, ultimately, determined the only way to save their deceptions would be to foist the entirety of the karma for their lies and deceptions on these shoulders.
That decision was, additionally, supported by many in the non-dual space….a collective shadow, so to speak that included the active participation of Adyashanti…and many in the Open-Gate Community. Additionally, other-wise well-regarded non-dual teachers such as Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi and others were complicit in the cover-up to keep those lies buried throughout the non-dual space.
Rather than tell-the-truth…rather than owning-their-own-actions…both Nome and Russ were sure that I would be willing to martyr this life for purposes of ensuring their lies would never become public knowledge.
As a very devoted person I, too, felt that not only I could hold those lies…but I also felt that I should hold those lies. Little did I realize the psychology and ramifications of denying and betraying myself for the actions of others. We, at SAT (the Society of Abidance in Truth), had ALWAYS been taught that giving your life, and your self, was a spiritual attribute — a definite aspect of patriarchal non-duality. So I was well-trained in that respect. Additionally the masculine and feminine aspects of my temperament were way out-of-balance and tended towards remaining obedient and acquiescent, especially to spiritual ‘authority.’
When I made the momentous decision to begin reporting on those lies, that decision was akin to the energy needed to turning around…and righting…a huge ocean-liner in the ocean 180°…a decision which, I knew, would leave me with no others to support me. This would be a story told on my own.
The following was in conversation with a FB friend and currently acting teacher regarding Adyashanti’s knowledge… and cover…for Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver:
I begin with a ‘bit’ of clarification regarding Kiran’s ‘honesty’….
While, I appreciated the feminine aspect of authenticity that Kiran Trace deJaray brought to the teachings there was, also, an obvious dishonesty regarding the reason and purpose of the time she spent with me.
She was not the only one in such a position.
Kiran was one of several who had been sent to spend time with me. This may have even been a paid job as it was with the following:
-Michael Harrington
-Steven Walters
-Marilyn Madden
-Kiran Trace
All 4 have very close ties with Adyashanti.
Those four (and, later, Prajna Ginty and Kristy Thompson) spent inordinate amounts of time with me.
Marilyn Madden invited me to gatherings at Prema Akasha’s (she was then the “Creative Director” for Open Gate and who, now, goes by Maja Apolonia Rode) where Bentinho, Michael Harrington, Benjamin Smythe (who had his knowledge of my situation written all over his face…as did Rupert Spira during the 2 Satsangs of his that I attended in 2013 with Nishkala Leslie Jennings (who, also, was sent!!), etc would gather.
Being from the highly air-tight and insular SAT (Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA), at the time I knew none of these people.
Some have gone to great lengths to protect Adya’s brand…for obvious reasons.
Yet, from Adya’s talks, in Santa Cruz, the cover for Nome was apparent.
Even mentioning such a connection of Adya’s ties with Nome to Sonya Amrita Bibilos, Marilyn Madden, John Thomas and others draws extreme reactions and, in the case of Marilyn, gaslighting that is over-the-top.
The reactions of those three tell a lot…yet SAT and Open Gate were always revolving doors.
Mary Winslow, who was very close to my kids and who eventually left for Open Gate, wore her distress about this situation all over her face. I ran into Mary and Peter outside the Nickelodeon theater in Santa Cruz where we had just (appropriately) seen ‘Diving Bell and The Butterfly”…a movie which amazingly described being physically silenced after a car accident resulting in complete paralysis with the exception of being able to blink one eye.
I was in shock from that movie as it was the very beginning of feeling my life had literally been taken.
While much of this is sensitivity and intuition there were also clairvoyant messages, particularly of other teachers tied to Nome. I didn’t know, at the time, what clairvoyance even was/is…but thoughts/feelings of others (some whom I had never met) would come streaming in.
Why am I reporting on this?
…for myself, for Stan (my father), for Em and Ty (my daughter and son), for my two grandkids (the youngest of whom would not recognize me), for those who have also been harmed by these teachers…and, ultimately, for the Truth.
Gratitude to one who had the courage to say it ‘out loud’:
“…everyone plays dumb to maintain a whitewashed narrative — at your expense …(and) is lying about the same thing…”
Honesty and integrity are values that I will not compromise on.
The extent of these deceptions is steep…and it is systemic.
❦ Feel free to contact me at with any questions: leslie@integrityintruth.com
Photo: A Deep Burn in what (only) appears to be Truth…taken with an iPhone 13 in NW Portland. ?⚖️?❤️
In addition to having been silenced (under threat) for a decade, as a ‘sensitive’ I have noticed there are people who engage in the dynamic of ‘over-speak’ for purposes of, essentially, silencing…making it impossible to get a word in edgewise.
These are some of the very folks who are colluding with and covering for my former teacher in the attempt to keep a ‘story’ — involving existential and deceptive harm — from ever becoming public knowledge.
The first time I noticed this dynamic was in talking to Nome’s wife, Sasvati. It was during the time when a ‘story’ had been passed around about me and, because of that, most were avoiding me.
I was in the Lotus Room (a waiting room) at SAT and there was no place else to sit…except next to Sasvati on the couch.
Never in the history of SAT — or anywhere else for that matter — have I ever witnessed someone talk so long and with zero time for any participation of a conversation.
It was the first time I ever experienced ‘over-speak’ for purposes of keeping me from getting a word in edgewise.
The next time I noticed this dynamic was in a meeting with Aile Shebar. Aile was one of the first of my FaceBook friends that I met in person. We met north of Santa Cruz for lunch and a walk at the home of her uncle.
At this lunch there was, once again, this incessant monologue in which there was very little, if any, room for participation.
Again, on a Tuscan walking tour with David Whyte. (It should be noted that Aile was hugely encouraging of this trip on which there were also other dynamics at play that had Nome’s signature.) We had met up with a very special gathering to hear a Dante expert.
I had a hugely curious question regarding Italians and how beauty permeates every aspect of their culture. I was curious if Italian cultural Beauty is a product of their language and the way they formulate thoughts (and their world) in that language? I attempted to ask my question by raising my hand. It became apparent that David was deliberately ignoring my raised hand until, finally, the Dante expert insisted on calling on me.
The latest example of this dynamic was with a reading by astrologer whose astrology software I use and appreciate. I was interested in a reading from him for several reasons. One…he lives in Santa Cruz. Two…I very much enjoy the software. Three…he’s an expert on the planetary archetype of Eris. Of any modality I feel Evolutionary Astrology offers the clearest path to the understanding of the Soul’s journey.
Additionally I feel Nome is ‘friendly’ with a great many conscious astrologers. In this zoom session it became apparent that he, too, was not going to let me get a word in edgewise as, right out-of-the-gate, he used the popular spiritual meme to ‘let-go-of-the-past’ to keep me quiet. At this point, however, I had very much regained my voice and, several times, elbowed my way in! I was kind of hoping that a prominent astrologer such as Henry would see the truth of the statement that ‘the cosmos doesn’t lie, people do.’
This dynamic…which played out in these different scenarios had the very same flavor to each one. It was not merely the flavor of a particularly talkative personality…but of an energy of abject ‘control.’
Each person involved was/is colluding and covering up for the lies and deceptions of Nome, et al.
Once again, my intention is not to single out any particular individual(s) but to weave my reporting in such a way as to indicate the systemic level-of-cover for these teachers that exists in the conscious community.
Indeed, there’s a fond-ness, an appreciation and a ‘certain level of respect’….but not enough to betray my own self-respect and the integrity of Truth itself.
This shadow of lying, silencing and cover-up I feel is a remnant of patriarchal systems.
In saying that, it is also evident that men and women carry that shadow equally as, in this example, there were two women and two men who engaged in this energetic dynamic of the control of a ‘conversation’ in order that they not be confronted with me speaking face-to-face the actual truth they were/are so intent on covering up.
My deepest gratitude that you are following this story. ❦?
Ajata…radical Non-Duality or ‘nothing-ever-occurred’…is a dangerous understanding without equal ‘weight’ given to the fact-of-our-Humanity and the responsibility of living in a human form.
The demonstrative avoidance and downright negation of the entirety our humanity as demonstrated by radical non-duality, is the single-most harmful aspect…leaving wide-open-the-door for actual abuse…in what is commonly referred to awakening teachings.
And the subsequent need for covering for the entirety of the non-dual structure such as we find in the smokescreen of oversight with the ‘Association for Spiritual Integrity’…
“It is my belief that 90 percent of the so-called masters in the modern world are not enlightened at all but are in fact occult magicians. The occult magician will use his or her occult powers to ensnare the devotee in a posture of adoration by feeding them visionary experiences, which may seem to open things up for the devotee but actually keeps one dependent on the guru. It’s a kind of drug pushing as dangerous on the spiritual level as cocaine or heroin is on the physical. Because people don’t know the difference between the divine and the occult, nor how accurately the occult can mimic the divine, nor how easily occult powers can be cultivated by the unscrupulous and ambitious. They take these powers and experiences to be unmistakeable signs of divine presence and go on worshipping as divine these people who have, in fact, shown that they are neither good, nor kind, nor humble, nor generous.”
~Interview with Andrew Harvey, Yoga Journal, July/August 1995 ❦
Along with certain levels of awakening there comes the access to differing levels of occult powers, variously known by such names as black magic, siddis, voodoo etc. These powers are generally known to exist by most cultures around the world…except by those of us in the West!
When aligning yourself with a teacher…no matter how clear they may present themselves…it is always a good precaution to pay attention to the subtler signs of shadow.
In the case with teachers: Nome and Russell Smith of SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA) and Candace O’Denver, aka Candice Rinpoche of Great Freedom/Balanced View in Marin…that shadow took the form of lies and deceptions…of which I became the ‘holder’ for.
Due to the sensitivity of the lies I was holding there were over-arching controls placed on this life to keep this ‘information’ from going public.
What occurred in this life to keep that ‘information’ from surfacing has been variously described as the ‘Soul’s torture chamber’…as akin to being ‘buried alive’…etc.
The controls over this life involved not only physical surveillance but extreme violations involving psychic violations utilizing auric blocks for purposes of relational control and psychic implants for extreme surveillance.
Detecting high-level siddis (occult powers) is almost impossible for human eyes.
If I had one piece of advice for anyone…whether on a spiritual path or not…it would be: “Clear your auric field daily.” 〄
(Photo image ‘Ensnared’…taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland)
