Tag: awakening

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The Existential Dangers of Pure Dis-Identification…

In a private (taped) session with one of my teachers (Russell Smith) I was told I would “fall through the cracks.”

At the time I had no idea what Russ was referring to. But, now, so much is clear regarding the deceptions, lies, systemic collusion and the over-arching occult (siddi) controls of Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver…hugely aided by Adyashanti, Gangaji, Bentinho and so many others in the non-dual community colluding in what is, undoubtedly, one of the largest (although, certainly, not the only) of existential breaches among so-called teachers of “truth.” 

While non-duality is a Fact-of-The-Universe…there are far too many teachers, who at the moment of an ‘awakening…whether via teachers/Gurus, NDE’s, the breathe or their own innate Presence…see the enormous possibilities of teaching before there has been any thorough integration of such an awakening.

As Nome used to say ‘There’s nothing to integrate.’ 

That said it all.

In the words of Ken Wilber:

“Unless you are on a path that includes not only ‘waking up’…but ’growing-up’ AND ‘cleaning-up’…all 3-in-one package…you are going to get f**ked!!

You WILL end up in a bad…bad way because one of these is going to go sour.

That is THE major, unfortunate, path that the majority of people end up taking… and they end up wasting a life.”

Samadhi does not, of course, address (ANY) shadow elements…in some cases it makes it worse as there is pure dis-identification.

No doubt what has occurred in this life is arguably one of more horrific and existentially harmful examples of the harm that can occur when teachers have not done their own internal work.

🌿💔🔥💫


The systemic deception within the non-dual community: https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the…/


Paul Selig’s message that this ‘was not intentional to me’ yet the existential controls were most definitely intentional to me: https://integrityintruth.com/clarif…/the-move-to-portland/


The role of Adyashanti: https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the…/


Letter to the ASI (The Association of Spiritual ‘Integrity’): https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0&e=1&fbclid=IwAR2hNCDCiHgzRQrXqce9WFFH5vgHGHoGlda3PUlGKT2n1qMuoFfoMadMbvs


You are your own healer: https://integrityintruth.com/you-are-your-own-healer/


(Photo image taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland) https://integrityintruth.com/photo-gallery/

Thank you for following this blog. Your interest is so deeply appreciated. ❣️❧

Feel free to email me at: Leslie@integrityintruth.com should you have any questions or comments.

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Embodied Integration is the Birthplace of Integrity

“What we do to one, we do to the entire Web of Life.” ~Chief Seattle
(Chief of the Duwamish and Suquamish tribes)

What is integration? 

For those who say “I’m not the doer” and “nothing ever happens”…integration, paradoxically, means to ‘own your actions.’

Owning one’s actions is the beginning of on-going integration…and integrity. Without integrity (any) awakening is meaningless.

Four years-ago I began reporting on the lies I had been forced (under threat) to hold for non-dual teachers: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (who goes by a variety of aliases).

What were the lies?

The lies were in regard to the ‘supposed split’ of the teachings of the brothers Nome and Russell Smith and their formative connection with Candace O’Denver’s Great Freedom/Balanced View.

The supposed split (of the brothers) was a ruse.

When I returned to SAT (after being asked to leave ‘The Way of Sudden Awakening’) upon entering the SAT Satsang Hall there was Russell sitting on the dias next to Nome, looking sheepishly at me as I entered the hall. After that Sunday, Russell left and did not return during the remainder of my stay at SAT.

The deceptions of the purported animosity between the brothers…in order to convincingly ‘paint the picture’…was a deliberate ruse that was even taken into the Santa Cruz County court system.

These lies occurred in tandem with the coupling/marriage of teachers (primarily Nome and Sasvati, aka Judy Gilden) and their own projected fear that jealousy may ensue.

I (and by relation, my family) became the inadvertent ‘holder’ for the deceptive secrets of these teachers.

Because of that those teachers felt compelled to completely tear this life apart for the sole purpose of ensuring that their lies would never become public knowledge.

I (and by relation, my family) became the inadvertent ‘holder’ for their deceptive secrets. Because of that those teachers felt compelled to completely tear this life apart for the air-tight purpose of ensuring that their lies would never become public knowledge. So…I am forced (under threat) to hold the lies belonging solely to these teachers and for an un-embodied teaching I do not even believe in! Yes, non-duality is a ‘truth’ but without integrity it is (also) moot.

The systemic cover for these teachers/situation… occurring over this past decade+…includes many in ‘leadership’ and teaching roles in the ND spiritual community. This includes several far-reaching non-dual organizations such as SAND, BatGap and ASI.

Matt Licata succinctly described this situation as a ‘cosmic betrayal.’

It has not only been a process of my own unfolding and understanding but of a growing revelation as to the extent of complicity and collusion in what has become known as the “non-dual” community.

The dark underpinnings of control, corruption and collusion as they exist in the non-dual space are clearly evident as they played out in this complex dynamic, involving un-provable siddis (occult powers), that is, unless one uses names and photos painting a clear narrative that would be nigh impossible to fabricate.

As a loyal and devoted seeker I was the recipient of (way) more than my fair share of the ‘beneficial’ aspect of occult powers.

Having been the one who “fell between the cracks” (exact words of Russell Smith in a taped session) the burden for the lies of those teachers fell squarely…and solely…on these shoulders…and hence the literal waterfall of psychic control to ensure their lies would never become public knowledge.

Whether beneficial OR malevolent: both aspects of occult control look to remove the inherent sovereignty that is each-of-our birthright.

Portending that level of control were Nome’s own words from the early years:

“Just look at who it is you’re up against.”

Those words, alone, demonstrated Nome’s dedication to power over others.

It is no wonder there was such extreme existential control over this life.

The most notable alliance to Nome, et al, in the suppression of this story was/is the key support of Adyashanti (and the many involved in Open Gate) during the entire time. https://integrityintruth.com/bentinho-and-the-adya-connection/

It becomes my duty…if not Soul Mission…to bring light to this type of occult control and existential manipulation.

Unfortunately, I feel uniquely qualified to disclose where there has been…and continues to be…harm existing under the shroud of spiritual control.

 Fortunately, this marks the end of a karmic SoulCycle of having been silenced at the hands of spiritual teachers for being the holder of deceptive secrets.

This may not have been something I would have chosen.

There are times when Life chooses us for a particular job.

For this devotee to be speaking out so publicly the actions of the above-mentioned teachers would have had to be so extremely violative on the existential level.

Owning one’s actions is the beginning of on-going integration…and integrity. ❦

Thank you for your interest in this story.

Feel free to e-mail me with any questions at: Leslie@IntegrityInTruth.com ❦

An apt quote by Jeff Brown, author of numerous books including “Grounded Spirituality.”
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Non-Dual Teachers: my view

Lit Poppy taken at night…during ‘The Compression Years’ with an iPhone 5
https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/

The following is in dialogue (March 21, 2022) with Scott Funkhouser (aka Scott Kiloby) and his recent comment to me: “You’ve become anti-teacher.”

My response: 

“You make an important point regarding teachers, in general, and especially those who are currently acting teachers. I am not anti-teacher. I am anti-teachers who lie. I am anti-teachers who take no responsibility for their actions…and who use the very teachings to gaslight those who are reporting on harm.

Most, if not all, of the teachers I have come across in person, including yourself, while they have subtly indicated a level of compassion regarding what I was forced (under threat) to hold for the better part of a decade there has not.been.a.single.acting.teacher who has stepped forth and said they definitively will not support lies, deceptions and a systemic corruption that includes collusion and cover-up involving: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver, aka Ziji Rinpoche…cover-up, the full weight of which has landed squarely…and solely…on these shoulders.

So it’s not that I am ‘anti-teacher’ as much as I am not willing to put the safety of this life…and the lives of my family…at the hands of those who are obviously, if not subtly, lying directly to me.

Anyone who knows me would know that I have always considered a Teacher of integrity to be the most efficacious route to freedom.

I still feel that way.

Yet…point me to one teacher who has not known of my former teachers and of what occurred at their hands.

Just one teacher who has had the integrity to say…‘This is not right.’

Not even teachers who are deeply respected have said anything…which points to a systemic collusion.

As communication with Spirit has gotten clearer and clearer I am of the firm conviction that far too many seekers rely on teachers who are compromised, if for no other reason then for being merely in a body and carrying a certain amount of shadow that those very teachers may not even be aware of.

A subject that is far too extensive to broach on a comment thread.

Nonetheless…thanks for engaging me in this as it is deeply important not only for this life and the lives of my family but for anyone intent on awakening and utilizing any of the various teachers who are currently active.

Much love to you as well Scott…🙏🌷❤️”

(Light of a Night-time Poppy…taken with an iPhone 5 in Santa Cruz, CA)

https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/

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What Would a Conscious Person/Community do…

…once there has been harm?

Would they cover it up? 

By now, many of who have followed this blog…and the published videos…know of the ‘information’ I’ve been forced to hold (under threat) for a decade…for the lies of certain spiritual teachers: Nome and Russell Smith of SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA) and Candace O’Denver, aka Candice Rinpoche of Great Freedom/Balanced View in Marin, CA.

Not only have my former teachers gone to the extent they have individually but they have also called upon the greater non-dual community…inclusive of many currently acting teachers…to join them in a system-wide cover-up.…all for the sole-purpose of keeping this ‘information’ from becoming public knowledge.

Much of my interaction within this community has involved being lied directly to…lies which I’ve been aware of for the entirety of this past decade. 

As long as I was willing to go along with those lies…betray myself and my voice…betray my family…and, essentially, betray Truth teachings, I was accepted and ‘loved’ in the online non-dual community.  The coercion to continue to hold those lies was/is very real.

As someone, with long-standing ties to SAT told me recently:  “…everyone plays dumb to maintain a whitewashed narrative — at your expense …(and) is lying about the same thing…”

It is this cultish support for lies…just as we are seeing in the greater body politic…that will ultimately surface.

The rallying around a cult-leader(s) in order to uphold lies is no different in these ‘high’-level spiritual teachings than is playing out on the collective/political scene.

They are the same exact dynamic.

*On all accounts it is authoritarian — and ultimately controlling — in nature.*

At what expense (our natural) awakening?

In 2018 I left the town of Santa Cruz to move to Portland in order to escape the over-arching controls over this life and the surveillance of my homes.

That move was not without consequences…some of which I cannot discuss on a public thread but which, overall, proved to be fraught with an enormous amount of psychic/occult pushback and control. 

It is no exaggeration that in the years since 2018 I have literally been stalked by high-level occult powers (siddis)…the intimidation of which was/is very real. 

My question to the non-dual community…and all awakening communities is: “What would you do once there has been harm?”

“If a man is a Jnani, he cannot utter a lie.”

– Ramana Maharshi

Thank you, always, for listening,

-Leslie Read

YouTube: Leslie Read

‘Information’ I Held: Video #10

(Blog post photo image: Frosted black grass…taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland)

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Ensnared by Occult Powers

 “It is my belief that 90 percent of the so-called masters in the modern world are not enlightened at all but are in fact occult magicians. The occult magician will use his or her occult powers to ensnare the devotee in a posture of adoration by feeding them visionary experiences, which may seem to open things up for the devotee but actually keeps one dependent on the guru. It’s a kind of drug pushing as dangerous on the spiritual level as cocaine or heroin is on the physical. Because people don’t know the difference between the divine and the occult, nor how accurately the occult can mimic the divine, nor how easily occult powers can be cultivated by the unscrupulous and ambitious. They take these powers and experiences to be unmistakeable signs of divine presence and go on worshipping as divine these people who have, in fact, shown that they are neither good, nor kind, nor humble, nor generous.”

~Interview with Andrew Harvey, Yoga Journal, July/August 1995 ❦

Along with certain levels of awakening there comes the access to differing levels of occult powers, variously known by such names as black magic, siddis, voodoo etc. These powers are generally known to exist by most cultures around the world…except by those of us in the West!

When aligning yourself with a teacher…no matter how clear they may present themselves…it is always a good precaution to pay attention to the subtler signs of shadow.

In the case with teachers: Nome and Russell Smith of SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA) and Candace O’Denver, aka Candice Rinpoche of Great Freedom/Balanced View in Marin…that shadow took the form of lies and deceptions…of which I became the ‘holder’ for.

Due to the sensitivity of the lies I was holding there were over-arching controls placed on this life to keep this ‘information’ from going public.

What occurred in this life to keep that ‘information’ from surfacing has been variously described as the ‘Soul’s torture chamber’…as akin to being ‘buried alive’…etc.

The controls over this life involved not only physical surveillance but extreme violations involving psychic violations utilizing auric blocks for purposes of relational control and psychic implants for extreme surveillance.

Detecting high-level siddis (occult powers) is almost impossible for human eyes.

If I had one piece of advice for anyone…whether on a spiritual path or not…it would be: “Clear your auric field daily.” 〄

(Photo image ‘Ensnared’…taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland)