For the past 14 years…primarily on the Facebook platform…the vast majority of my conversations revolved around the ‘spirituality’ of non-duality…and not political issues.
My interests are, specifically, in the authoritarian aspects of patriarchal non-duality (as extensively demonstrated by authors Joel Kramer and Diana Alstad in their landmark book: The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power…a link to the pfd below) and how the authoritarian aspects of patriarchal non-duality (neo-advaita non-duality) drive their views politically.
I’ve noticed among those who are considered ‘awake’…however one defines that for themselves…that there are a surprising number of folks who adamantly back Donald Trump and his divisive, predatory and overtly racist policies. Yet, considering the authoritarian tendencies of so many in the non-dual world I am, now, not surprised.
Never in-a-million years would I have ever considered that those who are ‘awake’-to-wholeness would even consider to embrace such divisive, predatory and racist ideologies.
The possibility of that, alone, would be the hypocrisy-of-hypocrisies!!
This has me deeply questioning the values of the core spirituality I had once deemed the highest – that of non-duality — and, after many considerations, I question if neo-advaita (non-duality) can even be considered ‘spiritual.’
We’ve all seen that one can be awake to Wholeness and yet that, in no way, means one is free from shadow or is somehow a balanced-and-decent Human.
One can be awake to Oneness and still be creating delusions and, worse yet, harming others in the process.
All one need do is look at the energetics of the likes of such teachers as AdiDa and Osho.
As long as we don human body there is shadow…and mistakes can, and are, easily made.
It’s what a conscious person does once a mistake has occurred that is the true mark of an evolved Soul.
Then we have the unscrupulous who, with the attendant omnipresence-of-awakening, there can arise all sorts of unseen manipulation-over-others…inclusive of existential control.
Values such as truth, honesty, integrity…where the front-matches-the-back…fairness, equality and generosity seem to be hugely missing with those who align with many aspects of patriarchal spirituality, Donald Trump and the MAGA world. SO many, if not all, of the MAGA world profess the teachings of Jesus Christ and proudly wear the cross – a profound symbol of The Christ upholding the very highest of values…with His Life. THAT is what it means to be ‘spiritual’…where we back-up and honor our very Life with our values.
I see no greater opportunity than the recent election of Pope Leo who, I feel, will be a profound albeit gentle yet fierce Mirror for the profound upholding of the true values of Jesus Christ and the true meaning behind what some have bastardized in the name of spiritual and political dogma.
Imagine!!…when a leader of an organized religion has more spiritual integrity than teachers of non-dual ‘spirituality’!! 😀
“You cannot follow both Christ and the cruelty of Kings. A leader who mocks the weak, exalts himself, and preys on the innocent is not sent by God.” ~Pope Leo
Given everything that is currently going on in the world our Humanness comes into its rightful focus and, in numberless ways, is revealing the hypocrisy of those attempting to uphold the ‘world is unreal’ concept…one of the many ‘spiritual’ concepts non-dualists tend to trip-over in their life on this planet and with ‘others.’
Is it possible to uphold values of truth, honesty, integrity…where the front-matches-the-back…fairness, equality and generosity while being addicted to…or chasing after…transcendent states?
Is the mere transcendent state true enlightenment or God-realization? Or…is it merely the recognition of a transcendent state?
When non-dual teachers made the decision to place the entire burden for their lies and deceptions on these shoulders, and the shoulders of my family, they essentially took this life. That is no understatement on the existential harm that stemmed completely from deception…”what a tangled we we weave when first we practice to deceive”…” The details are here:
Once again, in the words of Facebook friend and teacher David Bingham…
“…I would like to add that in this modern age the Neo-Advaitan tradition of the truth existing ultimately in the sphere of the non-dual (which is followed by so many, with so many esteemed teachers) is a deeply flawed model of understanding of the nature of the human condition and its relationship with the Infinite.
It is a form of understanding which has an in-built tendency to deeply exacerbate illusions concerning the experiences of life and in turn to generate rigidities around its interpretation. In doing so it has great potential to be harmful to the fundamental well-being of its adherents, all the more so because it dresses itself in the clothes of liberation. It is a false and incomplete freedom of the age.”
Having lived through and watching the lives of so many in the contemporary non-dual community…the vast majority of whom lied directly to me regarding their knowledge of my former teacher and of what occurred at their hands…I’d have to conclude that there is very little about non-duality that resembles anything of a superlative Spirituality. Yet, understandably, the non-dual experience is so strong and ‘real’ as to supplant any notion to the contrary.
This…is, sadly, what ends-up as dogma.
Honesty & integrity are values I will not compromise on.
What values do you utterly refuse to compromise…in yourself and in others?
Thank you for reading…and for following my work. ❣️
Simply put, a cult is a person and/or organization ensuring abject control over its members thru a variety of means. It has been widely touted that intelligent people would never end-up in such situations… yet, some of the most intelligent folks certainly got ensnared in the Osho cult as well as the cult I was involved with for well over 2-decades.
“A cult is a group, religious organization or family structure of any size led by a charismatic leader. Cults control their members through manipulation, abuse, and coercion. These groups feature transcendent belief systems, and create self-sealing systems from which followers find it difficult to escape.” ~Lalich Center on Cults and Coercion
My time at SAT (the Society of Abidance in ‘Truth’) spanned over 2-decades beginning in late 1989. During that time I would have never considered the teachings of non-duality, as presented by Nome and Russell Smith, to be a cult. THAT …was/is precisely how insular SAT is.
Let me explain….
Somewhat similar to Donald Trump saying exactly what he is going to do (as-above-so-below) Russell Smith actually exclaimed, one day, for all of us to hear: “Cultic tactics actually work!”
That should have been the obvious-and-decisive indicator for me to leave…immediately.
Yet…what over-road even such an outrageous exclamation were the underlying, unseen high-level occult practices of a siddha…in this case Nome. As a siddha, Nome had/has access to occult powers (siddis)…which can literally do anything. It was this, plus the fact that Nome knew-that-I-knew of his lies and was seemingly helping me in the silent background (THAT is a whole other story!).
While a true Siddha rarely shows these to his/her followers my experience was the perception of MANY siddis with this teacher. So many, I almost wrote a book about them as they were often hilarious and, by-far, most were benevolent and helpful in the earlier years of my highly-devoted practice.
Those siddis were helpful until Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi and many other non-dual teachers in their orbit made the decision to place the entire burden for their lies and deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family.
It was then that those siddis (occult powers) turned deeply malevolent and controlling over every.single.aspect.of.this.life.Those siddis were SO controlling that someone described my situation as a “Soul murder” akin to being “buried alive.” Those are excruciatinglyaccurate descriptions.
An apt quote from Andrew Harvey on contemporary spiritual teachers:
“It is my belief that 90 percent of the so-called masters in the modern world are not enlightened at all but are in fact occult magicians. The occult magician will use his or her occult powers to ensnare the devotee in a posture of adoration by feeding them visionary experiences, which may seem to open things up for the devotee but actually keeps one dependent on the guru. It’s a kind of drug pushing as dangerous on the spiritual level as cocaine or heroin is on the physical. Because people don’t know the difference between the divine and the occult, nor how accurately the occult can mimic the divine, nor how easily occult powers can be cultivated by the unscrupulous and ambitious. They take these powers and experiences to be unmistakable signs of divine presence and go on worshipping as divine these people who have, in fact, shown that they are neither good, nor kind, nor humble, nor generous.”~Andrew Harvey
The lies I was forced (under a death threat) to hold were in regard to the supposed split of the Smith brothers (Nome and Russell) and Russell’s development of Great Freedom/Balanced View with Candace O’Denver. While I never met Candace in person, nor visited her center, I had a reluctant meeting in 2016/17 with Kevin Corlette and Britt Posmer who had just finished a visit to ‘Great Freedom.’ In that meeting I asked what that center was like. Hesitatingly, Kevin stated (paraphrasing) it was “Far too controlling for his liking.” Alternatively, Britt mentioned to stay dedicated to a root Guru. My intuitive sense, in that moment, was that she was indicating for me to stay silent. Coming from Britt, who I greatly admired, this statement actually kept me silent for another couple years.
The teachings of Nome, Russell Smith/Candace O’Denver, etc. grew-up out of the morally corrupt neo-advaita teachings of, primarily, Osho Rajneesh but may have, also, been influenced by Adi Da (who goes by a variety of names stemming from Franklin Jones), Mooji etc. Osho’s entire cult is wrapped in the mesmerizing, albeit beautiful, musical culture of Deva Premal and Miten occasionally accompanied by Manose (Miten and Manose have their own reported sexual exploits).
The following is an important comment by Jeffrey Wolf Green (founder of Evolutionary Astrology) on the spiritual evolution of Osho. I feel it applies equally to Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’ Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi, Byron Katie and many other currently acting non-dual teachers:
“Rajneesh experienced a fall from Grace, because of intense, spiritual delusions of grandeur, and a secret egocentric agenda that pointed the way to himself as the vehicle to salvation. Since he was exposed as a fraud who perverted natural laws because of his own self-interest, we now know that he was really here to fulfill his own soul’s evolutionary intentions. There was a huge emphasis on paying his Saturnian Karmic dues (Saturn exactly opposite Pluto), and having to learn some very harsh lessons around maturity, cooperation, and taking personal responsibility for the consequences of his actions/choices: hence, the massive fall from Grace that was as an evolutionarily necessity. As the mask was finally removed, and his living-a-lie exposed as fraudulent, Pluto, his own soul, would reveal the truth that was not in harmony with natural law, and eliminate (Pluto), the false doctrines to reveal the truth of his deception to the world. The deception was that he had created teachings of the natural truth, butin truth had lured his followers through a sexual vibration, not a spiritual one. Rajneesh was a sexually realized guru, not a God realized one.” (Page 149 of 538 of Neptune: Whispers from Eternity by Jeffrey Wolf Green)
This KEY statement in the above paragraph: “The deception was that he had created teachings of the natural truth, but in truth had lured his followers through a sexual vibration, not a spiritual one. Rajneesh was a sexually realized guru, not a God realized one…”
The above statement is one that accurately describes Nome, Adi Da, Mooji, Candace O’Denver, Amma (the hugging ‘Saint’) and so many other currently acting non-dual teachers…including the teachings of ACIM (A Course in Miracles). They are not God realized.
As sexually realized gurus…the use of sex… includingthe sexual abuse of under-age girls in the ashrams…is now coming to light as seen in the various reports of the children, now grown women, who grew up in those cults.
As reports have it, by the time I arrived at SAT in 1989, many of the sexual exploits had been “cleaned up.”
As many were/are awakening to the ‘natural truth’ of wholeness…by whatever means: NDE’s (near death experiences), their own attention or thru the current non-dual teachers…people began hanging-out their signs in the hopes for the often-lucrative teaching of non-duality which…to this day…is hyped as the equivalent of the teaching of The Christ and The Buddha…which they clearly are not.
The real danger is in the declaration, and false claim, that this non-dual ‘realization’ was THE actual ‘awakened spirituality.’
Facebook Friend David Bingham accurately describes the teachers of neo-advaita:
“…in this modern age the Neo-Advaitan tradition of the truth existing ultimately in the sphere of the non-dual (which is followed by so many, with so many esteemed teachers) is a deeply flawed model of understanding of the nature of the human condition and its relationship with the Infinite. It is a form of understanding which has an in-built tendency to deeply exacerbate illusions concerning the experiences of life and in turn to generate rigidities around its interpretation. In doing so it has great potential to be harmful to the fundamental well-being of its adherents, all the more so because it dresses itself in the clothes of liberation. It is a false and incompletefreedom of the age.”
Moral-and-just, neo-advaita is NOT. The old patriarchal paradigm of abuse and control-over-others to ‘free’ people from their attachments to a ‘world’…takes the approach straight-out of the ancient Rumi (among others) play-book: “Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field…I will meet you there.” These teachers literally felt that right-and-wrong – and KARMA – did not apply to them in their transcendent selves.
“The paradox is that the character/ego persona of even the awakened Self still goes thru its cause and effect as long as it dons a physical body – that’s why masters fall ill or lose someone etc – but as awakened Self they are wholly detached from the role….thus its effects don’t affect them!Thus no-me no karma! But cause and effect IS; it’s like a board game on which the cosmic play plays out!” ~Divyaa Kumar
The teachings of neo-advaita/non-duality were/are completely devoid of the ethical integrity that is the Hallmark of true Spirituality.
Leonard Jacobson, as well as many others, actually marketed their teachings as the equivalent of the teachings of The Christ and The Buddha!
Instead of the altruism of genuine Spirituality we have the arrogance of such closed systems looking to preserve the non-dual brand (and their view of what ‘awakening’ is) and the brands of various non-dual teachers such as:
-SAND (Science & Non-Duality)
-Rick Archer’s BatGap (Buddha at the Gas Pump)
-The relatively new association of supposed over-sight: the ASI (Association of Spiritual Integrity) co-founded by Rick Archer and Jac O’Keeffe shortly after I began reporting on this website: ⚛️ https://www.integrityintruth.com
Some have said I am “anti-teacher.” This is not entirely an accurate statement yet, at this point, it is mostly true. As with any system, there are some who are far more dangerous than others…and the scary paradox is that those who may appear the most credible can, also, be the most dangerous.
I now feel that the risk of associating with any given teacher is far greater than, certainly, our own ever-present-and-direct line to God, Source, Spirit, whatever name feels right-and-true for you… and that that Line is ever pure and undefiled by corruption and control.
In the words of Ken Wilber: “Unless you are on a path that includes not only ‘waking up’…but ’growing-up’ AND ‘cleaning-up’…all 3-in-one package…you are going to get f**ked!!You WILL end up in a bad, bad way because one of these is going to go sour.That is THE major, unfortunate, path that the majority of people end up taking… and they end up wasting a life.Samadhi does not, of course, address (ANY) shadow elements…in some cases it makes it *worse* as there is pure dis-identification.”
Looking back, the characteristics the cult at SAT included the following:
-an airtight insularity and airtight secrecy
-the cutting off of anything worldly…the duality-of-non-duality
-strict dictates of dress and actions
-an efficient money-making organization (including the concept of tithing and loan ‘forgiveness’) and assigning your will to SAT as recipient
-an extensive web of lies and deceptions
-cutting people off from their families and friends
-extensive ‘love-bombing’ by those in the non-dual community looking to keep the deceptions I was forced to hold from ever becoming public knowledge.
-using the teachings themselves to gaslight the one who might report on the harm
– polarized, us-versus-them mentality…mirroring the utter duality of non-duality
-an exalted and arrogant status of, not only the teacher, but of its members
-immense control over your time in the forms of service
-pitting some people against others in the group…in the olden days it would be women competing with other women…a sad aspect of the patriarchy
-manipulation of how the group is perceived through publications etc.
-the use of (and threats by) mostly unseen-and-unknown siddis (occult powers)
-reliance on and alignment with traditional spiritual texts and historical Saints and figures
-collusion with other non-dual teachers
-little to no disagreement with the main teacher(s)
-deference to the teacher
Thank you for following my work. Please leave me a comment if you have ever experienced similar or are currently with a group…and, always, if you have any questions and/or comments..
-Joel Kramer and Diana Alstad’s “Guru Papers – Masks of Authoritarian Control” (a free PDF of the entire book): ⚛️ https://www.joeldiana.com/?page_id=8
This post will discuss a bit of the common use, in non-dual teachings, of imposed suffering as the primary mechanism to trigger an awakening and the notion that, as an individual, you have no inherent worth as a Human Being.
The early days at SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth) were primarily devotional…for all of us. We were led to believe that Nome was, then-and-forever, a Sanyasi. When he changed his mind and decided to enter into a relationship many of us who were deeply devoted, myself included, suffered immensely. I’ve never been a jealous person…and Nome has acknowledged this publicly even saying, somewhat exasperated,
in Satsang “Ok…so you’re not the jealous type!” (The pitting of women-against-women is a classic, unfortunate component of patriarchal authoritarian structures.) I suffered the physical symptoms of what medicine, now, correctly calls a ‘broken heart’ manifesting as a dangerous ventricular arrhythmia. The physical symptoms of this precipitous dynamic resulted not only in a heart arrhythmia but, later, as a dangerously sustained ultra-high-blood pressure from the stress of being forced (under threat) to hold the lies belonging to those teachers. Karma that was deliberately foisted on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family, while we were deliberately separated to ensure those deceptions would never become public knowledge.
In a taped private session Russell Smith told me that I had suffered more than most at SAT…and this was before what would, later, occur at their hands.
Russell’s words should have beenthe critical, advanced warning.
About a decade+ into intense practice at SAT…and coming fresh off a retreat…I was going down-the-stairs to the basement dungeon where I packaged up the SAT book orders. I was beyond worried with how-on-earth I was going to do all the tasks that kept piling up.
I was SO worried by the time I got down the stairs that I truly felt I would have a heart attack.
Right then-and-there, I concentrated on the task in front of me. Instantly I expanded out as pure Space and became omni-present. I was the rock outside-the-door next to my desk…etc.
In that very moment, Nome called the bookstore desk-phone and said “See? That wasn’t so hard!”
During my time in the basement my desk was located in the hallway next to several of the rooms that SAT rented out to ensure the solvency of the temple. I used to be the person in charge of those rentals as it was my idea to rent out the unused spaces on the property in order to ‘save the temple.’ After my stint renting out rooms that service was given to another member. One day a man walked out of his room and, going by me, deliberately brushed-up against me in the hallway where I worked. As an empath who is deeply sensitive to energies, every-fiber-of-my-being went on red-alert. I ran upstairs, grabbed Bob Haber who was in the kitchen and pulled him into the bookstore and locking the door behind us. I was too shaken to even speak. Bob had to call Siva-Loka (the name for the sage’s residence) to have Russell try and calm me down.
That man in the basement was later convicted of murder in Oregon!!
When I asked HOW and WHY someone would possibly rent to such a person I was told by Aya Oden it was because “He was wearing white!!” 🤦
I would no longer work in the books as long as that tenant was there. Nome, knowing of my trust in him, decided to use this precipitous dynamic of intense fear as sadhana and convinced me to stay in my job…even while that, later convicted and imprisoned, man was still there!
Shortly thereafter the teachings shifted from devotional practices to self-inquiry and the, supposed, split between the teachings of Nome and Russell took place.
In my own practice a lot of Wisdom flowed on that devotion. Just as it had when I was a young girl who came in to this life devoted to The Christ. In early grammar school it was through that devotion, and an unwavering deep trust from prior lifetimes, that I would experience bliss states and, what is now referred to, as ‘flow.’
Inquiry was never my practice.
Because I had seen too much regarding the deceptions of Nome and Russ, I was finally asked to leave by Jim Clark.
Approximately a year after leaving Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (along with others in the non-dual community notably Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi etc.) made the decision to place the entirety of the karma for their lies and deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family.
In one of my earlier attempts at obtaining ‘help’ from a teacher, I attended a rare talk in the Santa Cruz area given by Jeff Foster. While I could not describe my predicament publicly (I had been silenced, under threat) it was readily apparent that Jeff knew of my former teachers and of what had occurred at their hands. His answer would be one that would freeze this Soul: he indicated there would be a “crucifixion.’
That was the actual description he used.
It is now glaring clear that the entire non-dual ‘community’ – notably all the currently acting teachers – who did not ask these teachers to own-their-own actions was agreeing with the outright taking of this life…and the lives of (4-generations) my family.
Later the precipitous dynamic took a very dark turn manifesting as the ‘compression years.’
This existential isolation and silencing was for the express, and sole, purpose of ensuring the lies of these teachers would never become public knowledge. An arrangement of existential confinement was justifiable to these teachers under this ‘precipitous dynamic.’ This confinement (and existential surveillance and restriction) served the purpose of keeping their deceptions from being known. It also fit in precisely with their spiritual concepts and beliefs that intense suffering would result in freedom. Criminal activity was easily justifiable…in their minds.
The precipitous dynamic of induced suffering is, of course, nothing new and has been extolled by countless poets and teachers as the method for transcending the more mundane suffering of life as a Human on this planet. This criminal use of suffering would also, be beyond reproach.
In the words of the famous poet, Rumi: “Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”
There are countless examples of such ancient teachings which current teachers rest upon to justify the approach of induced suffering.
As we began to see seekers reporting on abuses and controls in the teachings of such teachers as Osho, Mooji, Byron Katie, Marc Gafni etc…we see the use of the very teachings to gaslight and silence the very ones reporting on harm.
Perhaps there is no greater example of this precipitous dynamic than what played out in the Osho space.
David Solomon who was with Osho in Pune and Eastern Oregon and later had a close connection with UG Krishnamurti, talked about Osho’s Rajneeshpuram “experiment to provoke God” in a similar vein:
“I believe (Gurdjieffian) devices were used by him to possibly awaken a few at the expense of the many. About that I’ve been very vocal myself. Real crimes against humanity were committed in an effort to bring about “the New Man.” No bueno.”
As with everything hidden, we are now seeing some of the more sordid aspects of neglect and sexual abuse emerge as the now-grown children who were victims during Rajneeshpuram times are finally speak out.
While I only, ever, attended one talk of Byron Katie I knew of people who had spent significant time with her. I listened, often aghast, at some of her answers and directives to people attending her gatherings. In many of those answers I witnessed a heightened spiritual arrogance combined with a tragic attempt to subvert our Humanity with mind-bending denialism.
Byron Katie’s teaching is a prime example of the cultic type of teaching based on the false notion that suffering is the necessary key.
As she stated, “You are your only hope, because we’re not changing until you do. Our job is to keep coming at you, as hard as we can, with everything that angers, upsets, or repulses you, until you understand. We love you that much, whether you’re aware of it or not.”
Some of the more, crude examples of her directives: “Boundaries are an act of selfishness,” and “Victims are violent people.”
In order for the ‘precipitous dynamic’ of imposed suffering to be ‘successful’ it was necessary that this dynamic be housed within a cultic container of over-arching control.
In the case of SAT…these teachings were housed within a strict cultic eco-system…unknown to most of us. There was a time when I would have neverdescribed SAT as a cult. Yet now, with much distance, I see the various glaring components (the following is from an AI overview of cults): a charismatic, authoritarian leader, extreme or unconventional beliefs, strict control over members’ lives, isolation from outside society, manipulation tactics, pressure to devote excessive time and loyalty to the group, and often a lack of tolerance for dissent or critical thinking, all contributing to a dependent and sometimes harmful relationship with the group and its leader.
These were/are all true.
While many aspects of these teachings are, of course, in accord with unified Truth…and some have awakened (however one defines that for one’s self) the harm to the followers was, in most instances, never accounted for.
I do believe that not only are these ‘methods’ being phased out but, perhaps, we are beginning to see the end of what many felt was the most efficacious route to awakening: that of a living teacher.
Thank you to all the readers following this story…you are so deeply appreciated. ❣️🙏🌷
Images: Crucifixion courtesy Bing Images.
Gratitude Robert Saltzman and John Troy for the “What was I thinking” meme posted on FaceBook.
In a private (taped) session with one of my teachers (Russell Smith) I was told I would “fall through the cracks.”
At the time I had no idea what Russ was referring to. But, now, so much is clear regarding the deceptions, lies, systemic collusion and the over-arching occult (siddi) controls of Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver…hugely aided by Adyashanti, Gangaji, Bentinho and so many others in the non-dual community colluding in what is, undoubtedly, one of the largest (although, certainly, not the only) of existential breaches among so-called teachers of “truth.”
While non-duality is a Fact-of-The-Universe…there are far too many teachers, who at the moment of an ‘awakening…whether via teachers/Gurus, NDE’s, the breathe or their own innate Presence…see the enormous possibilities of teaching before there has been any thorough integration of such an awakening.
As Nome used to say ‘There’s nothing to integrate.’
That said it all. It is precisely from this dis-embodied…completely dis-identified state of Radical Non-duality…that we see the unfortunate prevalence of such breaches as existential harm and, paradoxically, the control-over-the-lives-of-others.
One of the biggest dangers of teachings of the unreality-of-the-body…ASIDE -from-the-fact that the sacred Body, itself, is the most efficacious portal into the transcendence of such!…is that the body is the Seat of sacred Presence and grounded-ness. Being…untethered from the body… creates a myriad of dualities, some of the most unfortunate showing up in the ungrounded lives and teachings of Neo-Advaita (contemporary non-dual) teachings.
In the words of Ken Wilber:
“Unless you are on a path that includes not only ‘waking up’…but ’growing-up’ AND ‘cleaning-up’…all 3-in-one package…you are going to get f**ked!!
You WILL end up in a bad…bad way because one of these is going to go sour.
That is THE major, unfortunate, path that the majority of people end up taking… and they end up wasting a life.”
Samadhi does not, of course, address (ANY) shadow elements…in some cases it makes it worse as there is pure dis-identification.
No doubt what has occurred in this life is arguably one of more horrific and existentially harmful examples of the harm that can occur when teachers have not done their own internal work.
“What we do to one, we do to the entire Web of Life.” ~Chief Seattle (Chief of the Duwamish and Suquamish tribes)
What is integration?
For those who say “I’m not the doer” and “nothing ever happens”…integration, paradoxically, means to ‘own your actions.’
Owning one’s actions is the beginning of on-going integration…and integrity.Without integrity (any) awakening is meaningless.
Four years-ago I began reporting on the lies I had been forced (under threat) to hold for non-dual teachers: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (who goes by a variety of aliases).
What were the lies?
The lies were in regard to the ‘supposed split’ of the teachings of the brothers Nome and Russell Smith and their formative connection with Candace O’Denver’s Great Freedom/Balanced View.
The supposed split (of the brothers) was a ruse.
When I returned to SAT (after being asked to leave ‘The Way of Sudden Awakening’) upon entering the SAT Satsang Hall there was Russell sitting on the dias next to Nome, looking sheepishly at me as I entered the hall. After that Sunday, Russell left and did not return during the remainder of my stay at SAT.
The deceptions of the purported animosity between the brothers…in order to convincingly ‘paint the picture’…was a deliberate ruse that was even taken into the Santa Cruz County court system.
These lies occurred in tandem with the coupling/marriage of teachers (primarily Nome and Sasvati, aka Judy Gilden) and their own projected fear that jealousy may ensue.
I (and by relation, my family) became the inadvertent ‘holder’ for the deceptive secrets of these teachers.
Because of that those teachers felt compelled to completely tear this life apart for the sole purpose of ensuring that their lies would never become public knowledge.
I (and by relation, my family) became the inadvertent ‘holder’ for their deceptive secrets.Because of that those teachers felt compelled to completely tear this life apart for the air-tight purpose of ensuring that their lies would never become public knowledge.So…I am forced (under threat) to hold the lies belonging solely to these teachers and for an un-embodied teaching I do not even believe in!Yes, non-duality is a ‘truth’ but without integrity it is (also) moot.
The systemic cover for these teachers/situation… occurring over this past decade+…includes many in ‘leadership’ and teaching roles in the ND spiritual community. This includes several far-reaching non-dual organizations such as SAND, BatGap and ASI.
Matt Licata succinctly described this situation as a ‘cosmic betrayal.’
It has not only been a process of my own unfolding and understanding but of a growing revelation as to the extent of complicity and collusion in what has become known as the “non-dual” community.
The dark underpinnings of control, corruption and collusion as they exist in the non-dual space are clearly evident as they played out in this complex dynamic, involving un-provable siddis (occult powers), that is, unless one uses names and photos painting a clear narrative that would be nigh impossible to fabricate.
As a loyal and devoted seeker I was the recipient of (way) more than my fair share of the ‘beneficial’ aspect of occult powers.
Having been the one who “fell between the cracks” (exact words of Russell Smith in a taped session) the burden for the lies of those teachers fell squarely…and solely…on these shoulders…and hence the literal waterfall of psychic control to ensure their lies would never become public knowledge.
Whether beneficial OR malevolent: both aspects of occult control look to remove the inherent sovereignty that is each-of-our birthright.
Portending that level of control were Nome’s own words from the early years:
“Just look at who it is you’re up against.”
Those words, alone, demonstrated Nome’s dedication to power over others.
It is no wonder there was such extreme existential control over this life.
It becomes my duty…if not Soul Mission…to bring light to this type of occult control and existential manipulation.
Unfortunately, I feel uniquely qualified to disclose where there has been…and continues to be…harm existing under the shroud of spiritual control.
Fortunately, this marks the end of a karmic SoulCycle of having been silenced at the hands of spiritual teachers for being the holder of deceptive secrets.
This may not have been something I would have chosen.
There are times when Life chooses us for a particular job.
For this devotee to be speaking out so publicly the actions of the above-mentioned teachers would have had to be so extremely violative on the existential level.
Owning one’s actions is the beginning of on-going integration…and integrity. ❦
The following is in dialogue (March 21, 2022) with Scott Funkhouser (aka Scott Kiloby) and his recent comment to me: “You’ve become anti-teacher.”
My response:
“You make an important point regarding teachers, in general, and especially those who are currently acting teachers. I am not anti-teacher. I am anti-teachers who lie. I am anti-teachers who take noresponsibility for their actions…and who use the very teachings to gaslight those who are reporting on harm.
Most, if not all, of the teachers I have come across in person, including yourself, while they have subtly indicated a level of compassion regarding what I was forced (under threat) to hold for the better part of a decade there has not.been.a.single.acting.teacher who has stepped forth and said they definitively will not support lies, deceptions and a systemic corruption that includes collusion and cover-up involving: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver, aka Ziji Rinpoche…cover-up, the full weight of which has landed squarely…and solely…on these shoulders.
So it’s not that I am ‘anti-teacher’ as much as I am not willing to put the safety of this life…and the lives of my family…at the hands of those who are obviously, if not subtly, lying directly to me.
Anyone who knows me would know that I have always considered a Teacher of integrity to be the most efficacious route to freedom.
I still feel that way.
Yet…point me to one teacher who has not known of my former teachers and of what occurred at their hands.
Just one teacher who has had the integrity to say…‘This is not right.’
Not even teachers who are deeply respected have said anything…which points to a systemic collusion.
As communication with Spirit has gotten clearer and clearer I am of the firm conviction that far too many seekers rely on teachers who are compromised, if for no other reason then for being merely in a body and carrying a certain amount of shadow that those very teachers may not even be aware of.
A subject that is far too extensive to broach on a comment thread.
Nonetheless…thanks for engaging me in this as it is deeply important not only for this life and the lives of my family but for anyone intent on awakening and utilizing any of the various teachers who are currently active.
Much love to you as well Scott…??❤️”
(Light of a Night-time Poppy…taken with an iPhone 5 in Santa Cruz, CA)
By now, many of who have followed this blog…and the published videos…know of the ‘information’ I’ve been forced to hold (under threat) for a decade…for the lies of certain spiritual teachers: Nome and Russell Smith of SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA) and Candace O’Denver, aka Candice Rinpoche of Great Freedom/Balanced View in Marin, CA.
Not only have my former teachers gone to the extent they have individually but they have also called upon the greater non-dual community…inclusive of many currently acting teachers…to join them in a system-wide cover-up.…all for the sole-purpose of keeping this ‘information’ from becoming public knowledge.
Much of my interaction within this community has involved being lied directly to…lies which I’ve been aware of for the entirety of this past decade.
As long as I was willing to go along with those lies…betray myself and my voice…betray my family…and, essentially, betray Truth teachings, I was accepted and ‘loved’ in the online non-dual community. The coercion to continue to hold those lies was/is very real.
As someone, with long-standing ties to SAT told me recently: “…everyone plays dumb to maintain a whitewashed narrative — at your expense …(and) is lying about the same thing…”
It is this cultish support for lies…just as we are seeing in the greater body politic…that will ultimately surface.
The rallying around a cult-leader(s) in order to uphold lies is no different in these ‘high’-level spiritual teachings than is playing out on the collective/political scene.
They are the same exact dynamic.
*On all accounts it is authoritarian — and ultimately controlling — in nature.*
At what expense (our natural) awakening?
In 2018 I left the town of Santa Cruz to move to Portland in order to escape the over-arching controls over this life and the surveillance of my homes.
That move was not without consequences…some of which I cannot discuss on a public thread but which, overall, proved to be fraught with an enormous amount of psychic/occult pushback and control.
It is no exaggeration that in the years since 2018 I have literally been stalked by high-level occult powers (siddis)…the intimidation of which was/is very real.
My question to the non-dual community…and all awakening communities is: “What would you do once there has been harm?”
“If a man is a Jnani, he cannot utter a lie.”
– Ramana Maharshi
Thank you, always, for listening,
-Leslie Read
YouTube: Leslie Read
‘Information’ I Held: Video #10
(Blog post photo image: Frosted black grass…taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland)
“It is my belief that 90 percent of the so-called masters in the modern world are not enlightened at all but are in fact occult magicians. The occult magician will use his or her occult powers to ensnare the devotee in a posture of adoration by feeding them visionary experiences, which may seem to open things up for the devotee but actually keeps one dependent on the guru. It’s a kind of drug pushing as dangerous on the spiritual level as cocaine or heroin is on the physical. Because people don’t know the difference between the divine and the occult, nor how accurately the occult can mimic the divine, nor how easily occult powers can be cultivated by the unscrupulous and ambitious. They take these powers and experiences to be unmistakeable signs of divine presence and go on worshipping as divine these people who have, in fact, shown that they are neither good, nor kind, nor humble, nor generous.”
~Interview with Andrew Harvey, Yoga Journal, July/August 1995 ❦
Along with certain levels of awakening there comes the access to differing levels of occult powers, variously known by such names as black magic, siddis, voodoo etc. These powers are generally known to exist by most cultures around the world…except by those of us in the West!
When aligning yourself with a teacher…no matter how clear they may present themselves…it is always a good precaution to pay attention to the subtler signs of shadow.
In the case with teachers: Nome and Russell Smith of SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA) and Candace O’Denver, aka Candice Rinpoche of Great Freedom/Balanced View in Marin…that shadow took the form of lies and deceptions…of which I became the ‘holder’ for.
Due to the sensitivity of the lies I was holding there were over-arching controls placed on this life to keep this ‘information’ from going public.
What occurred in this life to keep that ‘information’ from surfacing has been variously described as the ‘Soul’s torture chamber’…as akin to being ‘buried alive’…etc.
The controls over this life involved not only physical surveillance but extreme violations involving psychic violations utilizing auric blocks for purposes of relational control and psychic implants for extreme surveillance.
Detecting high-level siddis (occult powers) is almost impossible for human eyes.
If I had one piece of advice for anyone…whether on a spiritual path or not…it would be: “Clear your auric field daily.” 〄
(Photo image ‘Ensnared’…taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland)
