Yes…in our Humanity there are mistakes…there are victims…there are ‘stories’ that need to be told…especially when there has been existential harm at the hands of spiritual teachers.
“It’s more important to be in integrity than to be ‘enlightened’.” -Adyashanti
I am in complete agreement with this statement. Yet, if Adya TRULY felt this way he would have refused to participate in the non-dual, community-wide collusion and cover-up for the lies of: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (who goes by numerous, evasive, aliases).
This is sweeping hypocrisy.
Instead, in answer to a question of mine at one of his Santa Cruz talks, he indicated for me to actually return to SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth).
That, of course, was an impossibility.
Yet…Adya was not the only one involved in this collusion. I am not reporting on his words to single him out as this breach-in-integrity was/is systemic-wide throughout the non-dual community.
However, he and Gangaji were two of the more well-known, and respected teachers, to participate in this pressure-campaign to ensure my silence regarding how/why the teachings of Nome and Russ were supposedly split up.
This was systemic collusion that placed the entirety of the burden…the entirety of their own karma…for those lies to fall squarely – and solely – on my shoulders.
In order to ensure ‘Integrity’ in the non-dual space…when (all) the acting teachers already know about these lies where is the problem with bringing this out in the open?
Is it truly ‘wise’ to perpetuate deceptions?
Thank you for following this blog and this ‘story.’ ❧
Ajata…radical Non-Duality or ‘nothing-ever-occurred’…is a dangerous understanding without equal ‘weight’ given to the fact-of-our-Humanity and the responsibility of living in a human form.
The demonstrative avoidance and downright negation of the entirety our humanity as demonstrated by radical non-duality, is the single-most harmful aspect…leaving wide-open-the-door for actual abuse…in what is commonly referred to awakening teachings.
And the subsequent need for covering for the entirety of the non-dual structure such as we find in the smokescreen of oversight with the ‘Association for Spiritual Integrity’…
How hard can it be to, finally, tell the truth of a complex situation?
It’s got to be far simpler than continuing to maintain a deceptive narrative around that complexity and, once again, return it to the natural and simple Truth.
The following is in dialogue (March 21, 2022) with Scott Funkhouser (aka Scott Kiloby) and his recent comment to me: “You’ve become anti-teacher.”
My response:
“You make an important point regarding teachers, in general, and especially those who are currently acting teachers. I am not anti-teacher. I am anti-teachers who lie. I am anti-teachers who take noresponsibility for their actions…and who use the very teachings to gaslight those who are reporting on harm.
Most, if not all, of the teachers I have come across in person, including yourself, while they have subtly indicated a level of compassion regarding what I was forced (under threat) to hold for the better part of a decade there has not.been.a.single.acting.teacher who has stepped forth and said they definitively will not support lies, deceptions and a systemic corruption that includes collusion and cover-up involving: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver, aka Ziji Rinpoche…cover-up, the full weight of which has landed squarely…and solely…on these shoulders.
So it’s not that I am ‘anti-teacher’ as much as I am not willing to put the safety of this life…and the lives of my family…at the hands of those who are obviously, if not subtly, lying directly to me.
Anyone who knows me would know that I have always considered a Teacher of integrity to be the most efficacious route to freedom.
I still feel that way.
Yet…point me to one teacher who has not known of my former teachers and of what occurred at their hands.
Just one teacher who has had the integrity to say…‘This is not right.’
Not even teachers who are deeply respected have said anything…which points to a systemic collusion.
As communication with Spirit has gotten clearer and clearer I am of the firm conviction that far too many seekers rely on teachers who are compromised, if for no other reason then for being merely in a body and carrying a certain amount of shadow that those very teachers may not even be aware of.
A subject that is far too extensive to broach on a comment thread.
Nonetheless…thanks for engaging me in this as it is deeply important not only for this life and the lives of my family but for anyone intent on awakening and utilizing any of the various teachers who are currently active.
Much love to you as well Scott…🙏🌷❤️”
(Light of a Night-time Poppy…taken with an iPhone 5 in Santa Cruz, CA)
It goes against every grain of our very nature as free and sovereign Beings to willingly be controlled and oppressed by any authoritarian figure…inclusive of authoritarian Gurus and teachers the spiritual arena.
“Authoritarian figures are everywhere, some of them in sheep’s clothing.” This is, sadly, truer-than-true. Furthermore, there are many who are willing to collude with those who look to control others.
That said…things are happening in ‘real time’ these days so wherever there is someone’s sociopathic need to control…it will be met with the *exact measure* exposing that out-of-balance dynamic. If you have landed on this blog please refer to the section of this website titled “Clarification of the Videos” (and the drop-down menu) for the much fuller description of collusion and coercion in the non-dual community. ❦
By now, many of who have followed this blog…and the published videos…know of the ‘information’ I’ve been forced to hold (under threat) for a decade…for the lies of certain spiritual teachers: Nome and Russell Smith of SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA) and Candace O’Denver, aka Candice Rinpoche of Great Freedom/Balanced View in Marin, CA.
Not only have my former teachers gone to the extent they have individually but they have also called upon the greater non-dual community…inclusive of many currently acting teachers…to join them in a system-wide cover-up.…all for the sole-purpose of keeping this ‘information’ from becoming public knowledge.
Much of my interaction within this community has involved being lied directly to…lies which I’ve been aware of for the entirety of this past decade.
As long as I was willing to go along with those lies…betray myself and my voice…betray my family…and, essentially, betray Truth teachings, I was accepted and ‘loved’ in the online non-dual community. The coercion to continue to hold those lies was/is very real.
As someone, with long-standing ties to SAT told me recently: “…everyone plays dumb to maintain a whitewashed narrative — at your expense …(and) is lying about the same thing…”
It is this cultish support for lies…just as we are seeing in the greater body politic…that will ultimately surface.
The rallying around a cult-leader(s) in order to uphold lies is no different in these ‘high’-level spiritual teachings than is playing out on the collective/political scene.
They are the same exact dynamic.
*On all accounts it is authoritarian — and ultimately controlling — in nature.*
At what expense (our natural) awakening?
In 2018 I left the town of Santa Cruz to move to Portland in order to escape the over-arching controls over this life and the surveillance of my homes.
That move was not without consequences…some of which I cannot discuss on a public thread but which, overall, proved to be fraught with an enormous amount of psychic/occult pushback and control.
It is no exaggeration that in the years since 2018 I have literally been stalked by high-level occult powers (siddis)…the intimidation of which was/is very real.
My question to the non-dual community…and all awakening communities is: “What would you do once there has been harm?”
“If a man is a Jnani, he cannot utter a lie.”
– Ramana Maharshi
Thank you, always, for listening,
-Leslie Read
YouTube: Leslie Read
‘Information’ I Held: Video #10
(Blog post photo image: Frosted black grass…taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland)
Sri Yantra and the infinitude of the sacred geometry of ‘as above, so below’ representing the exquisite Balance of all Creation: may we honor the Integrity of That.
In order to bypass the law of ‘as above, so below’ various non-dual teachings have, for years, operated within the dualistic system of separating the universe into such dualities as ‘real and unreal’ etc.
It provides an effective and efficient barricade to any harm that might occur within any particular ‘non-dual’ framework in what has been brilliantly described as, ultimately, ‘authoritarian.’ (See ‘resources’ below)
Combine a system in which the guru is in a ‘no-loose authoritarian situation’ with some high-level siddis (occult powers) and you’ve entered into some potentially dark-matter…and ultimately controlling, territory….as was the case in this life.
The universal law of Karma, however, exists as the purveyor of ‘as above, so below.’
This can certainly be seen playing out in what occurred in this life at the hands of the following teachers:
Nome (and his wife Sasvati) and Russell Smith (and his wife Helga Schleiter-Smith) of SAT, The Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA and Candice O’Denver, a.k.a. Candice Rinpoche of Great Freedom/Balanced View headquartered in Marin County, CA.
Karma, ultimately, is not a punishment but a balancing of energies…a ‘boomerang’ of sorts…even of those who say they are ‘beyond karma’…as Nome, himself, said many times.
The first 8 videos in the series ‘Information I Hold’ protected the names of the teachers involved in silencing and isolating me for a decade due to being the ‘holder’ for their lies and deceptions. That time is over.
Following is the link for Video #9: ‘Information I Hold: Naming-theNames’…
The names were originally withheld for a number of reasons, not the the least of which was due to an internal ‘death’ threat (Source: Nome) should any of the ‘information’ ever become public knowledge.
That time of being silenced…and threatened…ends with Video #9. I am no longer willing to continue to martyr this life for their lies nor for the cover-up occurring in the non-dual community.
In the words of Russell Smith during a taped, private session… “You will fall through the cracks.”
Those ‘cracks’ were the lies and deceptions put forth by the above named teachers…lies which I was forced to hold, under threat, for a decade.
A series of actions creating a ‘final straw’ was the prompt to finally speak-the-names, openly and publicly, of those who are acting teachers and who are continuing to harm and control this life. This requires the silent and systemic complicity of the many in the non-dual community who are entirely willing to continue to cover for the above teachers and who, as a community, are engaging in airtight collusion and coercion to protect the lies and deceptions of the above-named teachers.
There has been gaslighting and scapegoating with regard to my reporting on the abuse by these teachers.
The actual teachings around ‘victim identification’ (there certainly are victims) and ‘story’ telling’ have been used to cast doubt and/or to shame with regard to this reporting.
Regarding ‘stories’… what I am sharing is a truthful experience and observation of deception and overt control for the purpose of silencing.
That is not a “story”, in my worldview, rather it is a sharing of facts.
The return to Love happens differently for each and everyone of us. There are as many paths to the heart as there are individuals.
As many know, by now, I was purposefully separated out by my former teacher, Nome, for being the ‘holder’ for their lies and deceptions that included the operations of two main organizations:
Nome and Russell Smith of SAT…The Society of Abidance in Truth, Santa Cruz, CA…and Candace O’Denver, aka Candice Rinpoche of Great Freedom/Balanced View, Marin, CA.
It was this separating out…and the resultant occult controls (including auric blocks and psychic implants) over this life… that caused a trauma preventing this heart from fully opening, as I had experienced earlier in my life.
Part of those controls included being silenced (under threat) for a decade. Silencing and isolation are both considered human torture in cultures around the world. Perhaps more so, for an extrovert Aquarian!
Now, it is the re-opening of this expression…and the reason for that expression: to uphold the integrity of Truth…that is the ultimate return, in this life, to Love. ❦
(Photo..the tender winter Helliobore…taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland)
It is said that eclipses serve as catalysts for timely change. This is being written a few days before the full moon lunar eclipse in Gemini on Nov. 30, 2020 which will be followed a couple weeks later by a total solar eclipse in Sagittarius, two weeks later, on December 14. Additionally Neptune…the planetary karmic revealer is stationing direct on November 28th. More and more I am amazed at the accuracy of these planetary reflections and energetics.
In this life I have, never before, felt such a dramatic change of direction…not intention…but a radical change of direction. What I had once considered so perfectly beautiful, and true…and had, certainly, been so devoted to…now had the makings of the worst possible nightmare. As a ‘holder of information’ for high-level spiritual teachers, that nightmare has been variously described, by those who know the situation, as a ‘Soul’s torture chamber’…akin to being ‘buried alive’ and a ‘cosmic betrayal.’
Those are accurate descriptions and not-at-all exaggerated.
While this situation does not include the typical breaches of integrity commonly known as sexual manipulations (and is, most certainly, not making light of such) this particular situation is far more pervasive, insidious, systemic and dis-turbing (of Integrity) in its use of over-arching lies, deceptions, and cronyism involving cover-up, collusion, coercion and the extreme misuse of high-level siddhas (occult powers) over this life and the lives of my family.
These breaches have…and are…demanding extensive cover-up throughout the spiritual community…inclusive of other high-level contemporary teachers and certainly many in the general awakening community.
The ‘information’ I hold is in regards to the supposed separation of the teachings of Nome and Russell Smith of SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA) and Candace O’Denver, aka Candice Rinpoche of Great Freedom/Balanced View in Marin, CA. The burden for the lies regarding that supposed separation fell squarely on my shoulders…for a decade, plus.
In the (exact) words of Russell Smith, in private session many years ago: “You will fall through the cracks.”
I had no idea what he was talking about at the time. That fact of falling ‘through the cracks’ and that it was ‘not intentional to me’…were the exact words of Paul Selig’s Guides!
I knew this was not ‘intentional to me.’ There was always enormous dedication, not only student-to-teacher but teacher-to-student.
Yet…this breach, requiring enormous manipulation and suffocating control to keep it under wraps, would have never have happened without all the lying.
The lying, deflection and gas-lighting in the spiritual community regarding their knowledge of these teachers and of the situation I found myself in is systemic. This website exposes only a partial reveal of the reasons for my reporting on such over-arching corruption, coercion and collusion in the non-dual community regarding this ‘information.’
The teachers involved are high-level teachers with a certain ‘standard of gold’ teaching…and reputation.
That ‘gold-standard’ is the high-level Light.
Yet…there were lies and deceptions meant to control and manipulate seekers…some very long and devoted seekers who had given extensively, not only, of their dedication to Truth but of their time, labor and money.
The steps (occult and otherwise) taken by the main teachers to cover for their extensive and highly-coordinated lies and deceptions constitutes the high-level shadow.
This included not only high-level shadow of advanced siddhas (occult powers) in the form of ‘auric blocks’ (for control) and ‘psychic implants’ (for surveillance) utilized for top-to-bottom control by the main teacher, Nome, but shadow in the form of collusion throughout, primarily, the patriarchal Non-dual spiritual community.
This collusion included patriarchal teachers in the non-dual community as well as women non-dual teachers involved in a type of ‘false sisterhood’ based on shadow feminine energies left over from loyalty to certain patriarchy. This loyalty involved the same collusion, coercion and widespread gaslighting.
It is imperative that seekers are aware of the potential for such occult control, manipulation and extreme misuse (indeed, any misuse) of siddhas….even, and perhaps most especially, when everything seems to be pointing to high clarity and Light.
“All that glitters is not gold.” 🌟
(Photo image: blossom in the full of the Moon…by Max Dupain)
