As-above-so-below”…This ‘cosmic’ law can also be applied to our worldly lives. If a dynamic is happening at the collective level you can be sure that it is also happening on the individual level.
At no other time have I been shown — in such a dramatic way — this universal law than in my own life with regard to the pathological lying accepted and participated in by my former teachers and the broader non-dual community.
All along – at each step of the way – the unfolding body-politic has mirrored the dynamic of this systemic breach replete with collusion and complicity.
Many say to let go of ‘the past.’ And, yet, such an admonition can also be for purposes of concealing where there has been harm.
It is in the actual telling of such a story…and the reopening of an expression that had been shut-down (under threat)…that is the release from a ‘past.’
Two decades ago I received, in the mail, a rare copy of the book “Love Letters from Spirit to You.” This edition contained a previously unpublished 4-chapters.
There was a palpable shock that went through my system as the mailman handed me the package.
The ‘missing 4-chapters’ not previously published were significant.
Jacob Beilhart was a late 19th – early 20th century American Sage with ‘community’ in the Santa Cruz Mountains.
I opened to the following…
“…when you submit to all that is in your nature regardless as to what it has been in the past, or whether it is called good or evil, and resist not their expression even as you have not resisted the right of other persons and things to express what they would to you; when you abandon yourself entirely to all that I give you and condemn not in any expressions then I shall clear away every vestige of the past. And thus will I renew you in every part.”
In addition to having been silenced (under threat) for a decade, as a ‘sensitive’ I have noticed there are people who engage in the dynamic of ‘over-speak’ for purposes of, essentially, silencing…making it impossible to get a word in edgewise.
These are some of the very folks who are colluding with and covering for my former teacher in the attempt to keep a ‘story’ — involving existential and deceptive harm — from ever becoming public knowledge.
The first time I noticed this dynamic was in talking to Nome’s wife, Sasvati. It was during the time when a ‘story’ had been passed around about me and, because of that, most were avoiding me.
I was in the Lotus Room (a waiting room) at SAT and there was no place else to sit…except next to Sasvati on the couch.
Never in the history of SAT — or anywhere else for that matter — have I ever witnessed someone talk so long and with zero time for any participation of a conversation.
It was the first time I ever experienced ‘over-speak’ for purposes of keeping me from getting a word in edgewise.
The next time I noticed this dynamic was in a meeting with Aile Shebar. Aile was one of the first of my FaceBook friends that I met in person. We met north of Santa Cruz for lunch and a walk at the home of her uncle.
At this lunch there was, once again, this incessant monologue in which there was very little, if any, room for participation.
Again, on a Tuscan walking tour with David Whyte. (It should be noted that Aile was hugely encouraging of this trip on which there were also other dynamics at play that had Nome’s signature.) We had met up with a very special gathering to hear a Dante expert.
I had a hugely curious question regarding Italians and how beauty permeates every aspect of their culture. I was curious if Italian cultural Beauty is a product of their language and the way they formulate thoughts (and their world) in that language? I attempted to ask my question by raising my hand. It became apparent that David was deliberately ignoring my raised hand until, finally, the Dante expert insisted on calling on me.
The latest example of this dynamic was with a reading by astrologer whose astrology software I use and appreciate. I was interested in a reading from him for several reasons. One…he lives in Santa Cruz. Two…I very much enjoy the software. Three…he’s an expert on the planetary archetype of Eris. Of any modality I feel Evolutionary Astrology offers the clearest path to the understanding of the Soul’s journey.
Additionally I feel Nome is ‘friendly’ with a great many conscious astrologers. In this zoom session it became apparent that he, too, was not going to let me get a word in edgewise as, right out-of-the-gate, he used the popular spiritual meme to ‘let-go-of-the-past’ to keep me quiet. At this point, however, I had very much regained my voice and, several times, elbowed my way in! I was kind of hoping that a prominent astrologer such as Henry would see the truth of the statement that ‘the cosmos doesn’t lie, people do.’
This dynamic…which played out in these different scenarios had the very same flavor to each one. It was not merely the flavor of a particularly talkative personality…but of an energy of abject ‘control.’
Each person involved was/is colluding and covering up for the lies and deceptions of Nome, et al.
Once again, my intention is not to single out any particular individual(s) but to weave my reporting in such a way as to indicate the systemic level-of-cover for these teachers that exists in the conscious community.
Indeed, there’s a fond-ness, an appreciation and a ‘certain level of respect’….but not enough to betray my own self-respect and the integrity of Truth itself.
This shadow of lying, silencing and cover-up I feel is a remnant of patriarchal systems.
In saying that, it is also evident that men and women carry that shadow equally as, in this example, there were two women and two men who engaged in this energetic dynamic of the control of a ‘conversation’ in order that they not be confronted with me speaking face-to-face the actual truth they were/are so intent on covering up.
My deepest gratitude that you are following this story. ❦?
Yes…in our Humanity there are mistakes…there are victims…there are ‘stories’ that need to be told…especially when there has been existential harm at the hands of spiritual teachers.
“It’s more important to be in integrity than to be ‘enlightened’.” -Adyashanti
I am in complete agreement with this statement. Yet, if Adya TRULY felt this way he would have refused to participate in the non-dual, community-wide collusion and cover-up for the lies of: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (who goes by numerous, evasive, aliases).
This is sweeping hypocrisy.
Instead, in answer to a question of mine at one of his Santa Cruz talks, he indicated for me to actually return to SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth).
That, of course, was an impossibility.
Yet…Adya was not the only one involved in this collusion. I am not reporting on his words to single him out as this breach-in-integrity was/is systemic-wide throughout the non-dual community.
However, he and Gangaji were two of the more well-known, and respected teachers, to participate in this pressure-campaign to ensure my silence regarding how/why the teachings of Nome and Russ were supposedly split up.
This was systemic collusion that placed the entirety of the burden…the entirety of their own karma…for those lies to fall squarely – and solely – on my shoulders.
In order to ensure ‘Integrity’ in the non-dual space…when (all) the acting teachers already know about these lies where is the problem with bringing this out in the open?
Is it truly ‘wise’ to perpetuate deceptions?
Thank you for following this blog and this ‘story.’ ❧
Ajata…radical Non-Duality or ‘nothing-ever-occurred’…is a dangerous understanding without equal ‘weight’ given to the fact-of-our-Humanity and the responsibility of living in a human form.
The demonstrative avoidance and downright negation of the entirety our humanity as demonstrated by radical non-duality, is the single-most harmful aspect…leaving wide-open-the-door for actual abuse…in what is commonly referred to awakening teachings.
And the subsequent need for covering for the entirety of the non-dual structure such as we find in the smokescreen of oversight with the ‘Association for Spiritual Integrity’…
How hard can it be to, finally, tell the truth of a complex situation?
It’s got to be far simpler than continuing to maintain a deceptive narrative around that complexity and, once again, return it to the natural and simple Truth.
The following is in dialogue (March 21, 2022) with Scott Funkhouser (aka Scott Kiloby) and his recent comment to me: “You’ve become anti-teacher.”
My response:
“You make an important point regarding teachers, in general, and especially those who are currently acting teachers. I am not anti-teacher. I am anti-teachers who lie. I am anti-teachers who take noresponsibility for their actions…and who use the very teachings to gaslight those who are reporting on harm.
Most, if not all, of the teachers I have come across in person, including yourself, while they have subtly indicated a level of compassion regarding what I was forced (under threat) to hold for the better part of a decade there has not.been.a.single.acting.teacher who has stepped forth and said they definitively will not support lies, deceptions and a systemic corruption that includes collusion and cover-up involving: Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver, aka Ziji Rinpoche…cover-up, the full weight of which has landed squarely…and solely…on these shoulders.
So it’s not that I am ‘anti-teacher’ as much as I am not willing to put the safety of this life…and the lives of my family…at the hands of those who are obviously, if not subtly, lying directly to me.
Anyone who knows me would know that I have always considered a Teacher of integrity to be the most efficacious route to freedom.
I still feel that way.
Yet…point me to one teacher who has not known of my former teachers and of what occurred at their hands.
Just one teacher who has had the integrity to say…‘This is not right.’
Not even teachers who are deeply respected have said anything…which points to a systemic collusion.
As communication with Spirit has gotten clearer and clearer I am of the firm conviction that far too many seekers rely on teachers who are compromised, if for no other reason then for being merely in a body and carrying a certain amount of shadow that those very teachers may not even be aware of.
A subject that is far too extensive to broach on a comment thread.
Nonetheless…thanks for engaging me in this as it is deeply important not only for this life and the lives of my family but for anyone intent on awakening and utilizing any of the various teachers who are currently active.
Much love to you as well Scott…??❤️”
(Light of a Night-time Poppy…taken with an iPhone 5 in Santa Cruz, CA)
It goes against every grain of our very nature as free and sovereign Beings to willingly be controlled and oppressed by any authoritarian figure…inclusive of authoritarian Gurus and teachers the spiritual arena.
“Authoritarian figures are everywhere, some of them in sheep’s clothing.” This is, sadly, truer-than-true. Furthermore, there are many who are willing to collude with those who look to control others.
That said…things are happening in ‘real time’ these days so wherever there is someone’s sociopathic need to control…it will be met with the *exact measure* exposing that out-of-balance dynamic. If you have landed on this blog please refer to the section of this website titled “Clarification of the Videos” (and the drop-down menu) for the much fuller description of collusion and coercion in the non-dual community. ❦
By now, many of who have followed this blog…and the published videos…know of the ‘information’ I’ve been forced to hold (under threat) for a decade…for the lies of certain spiritual teachers: Nome and Russell Smith of SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA) and Candace O’Denver, aka Candice Rinpoche of Great Freedom/Balanced View in Marin, CA.
Not only have my former teachers gone to the extent they have individually but they have also called upon the greater non-dual community…inclusive of many currently acting teachers…to join them in a system-wide cover-up.…all for the sole-purpose of keeping this ‘information’ from becoming public knowledge.
Much of my interaction within this community has involved being lied directly to…lies which I’ve been aware of for the entirety of this past decade.
As long as I was willing to go along with those lies…betray myself and my voice…betray my family…and, essentially, betray Truth teachings, I was accepted and ‘loved’ in the online non-dual community. The coercion to continue to hold those lies was/is very real.
As someone, with long-standing ties to SAT told me recently: “…everyone plays dumb to maintain a whitewashed narrative — at your expense …(and) is lying about the same thing…”
It is this cultish support for lies…just as we are seeing in the greater body politic…that will ultimately surface.
The rallying around a cult-leader(s) in order to uphold lies is no different in these ‘high’-level spiritual teachings than is playing out on the collective/political scene.
They are the same exact dynamic.
*On all accounts it is authoritarian — and ultimately controlling — in nature.*
At what expense (our natural) awakening?
In 2018 I left the town of Santa Cruz to move to Portland in order to escape the over-arching controls over this life and the surveillance of my homes.
That move was not without consequences…some of which I cannot discuss on a public thread but which, overall, proved to be fraught with an enormous amount of psychic/occult pushback and control.
It is no exaggeration that in the years since 2018 I have literally been stalked by high-level occult powers (siddis)…the intimidation of which was/is very real.
My question to the non-dual community…and all awakening communities is: “What would you do once there has been harm?”
“If a man is a Jnani, he cannot utter a lie.”
– Ramana Maharshi
Thank you, always, for listening,
-Leslie Read
YouTube: Leslie Read
‘Information’ I Held: Video #10
(Blog post photo image: Frosted black grass…taken with an iPhone X in NW Portland)
