Leslie Read – Integrity In Truth

May 22, 2026June 1, 2026

The Women Who Uphold (The) Patriarchy… and Normalize Harm-and-Control over Others

I’ve long held the view that (the) patriarchy is not, necessarily, gender specific. It would be a man who would indicate to me that I would endure a “cosmic betrayal.” That betrayal…with sweeping participation among the women… began when non-dual teachers made the agreed-upon decision…across the FULL non-dual teaching spectrum (including Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, Bentinho, Jeannie Zandi and many others)…making me the ‘fall-guy’ and placing the entirety of the burden for their lies-and-deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family…then silencing (under a death threat) and isolating me for a decade+…ALL to ensure those lies would never become public knowledge.

As an old SAT friend accurately described this dynamic: “…everyone plays dumb to maintain a whitewashed narrative — at your “expense” …(and) is lying about the same thing…”

That “expense” would entail nothing shy of the entirety of this life…and the lives of my family…ALL of which was taken. Sadly, and surprisingly, many of those who upheld the tragic dynamic of having been made the scapegoat for the lies and deceptions of non-dual teachers…were women.

Following a character assassination in 2008, and shortly thereafter, a trail of women in the non-dual space would meet-up with me to cover-for (read: collude) that dynamic with such primary characteristics as an attempted ‘normalization’ of circumstance, obvious over-speak, and a definitive sense of false sisterhood…all marked by pervasive deception.

Picture and feel this: I was connecting with women who I actually elevated due to having realized some non-dual ‘state.’ Most were lying to me…and I could not say anything about what I was witnessing due to having been silenced under a death threat.

In the words of Jon Bernie (a truly brilliant teacher): “Without expression, you cannot wake up.” You cannot be your actual self!

In so many ways, there is the deepest of ignorance among non-dual teachers regarding the Human psyche and the existential blocks that silencing brings to the awakening process.

At that point I was, still, giving way too much significance to what is known as non-dual awakening. As if that would make anyone a better Human or a more integral one…neither of which I witnessed in any of those who had befriended me.

During that time of betrayal, one could say that I, instead, witnessed my own murder by 1,000 cuts.

It was, always, obvious in the moment who these women were covering for. Given the gravity of what they were hiding, the deception was easily sensed, so-much-so that they may as well have come out and said “I’m deceiving (read: betray) you but let’s be ‘friends’ anyway so we can all feel more comfortable with controlling your life.”

It’s what happens when lies have been taken too far down the rabbit hole: the deceptions must be maintained and covered-for at ALL costs, inclusive of any shred of integrity remaining for those teachers and the many covering for them.

The women mentioned in this post are, by no stretch, all of them. Ultimately, not one would say publicly: “This is not right.”

“Internalised patriarchy is when women adopt, believe, and enforce patriarchal ideas themselves — even when those beliefs limit or hurt them and other women.”

I thought, for sure, women — most especially those who were/are mothers — would stand behind me and uphold what I was just beginning to report on: namely the sweeping collusion and complicity in the non-dual space of neo-advaita covering for existential control-over-others in the name of the bi-furcation and transcendence of our Humanity. It would only be, later, that I would realize I had been made the singular ‘fall-guy’ for their lies, deceptions, and existential control-over-others…inclusive of controls-and-the-deliberate-separation-of-a-families…across the entire non-dual platform.

However, that feminine support was not what I found.

What I found was that there are still women who, for whatever reason, chose to actually uphold a certain, existential domination-over-others.

Perhaps there was a dedication to a non-dual teacher or they, themselves, had their own ambitions of teaching or they realized some non-dual state that allows for the actual harm of others.

This dynamic among the women began when non-dual teachers made the agreed-upon decision…across the FULL non-dual teaching spectrum (including Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, Bentinho, Jeannie Zandi and many others)…making me the ‘fall-guy’ and placing the entirety of the burden for their lies-and-deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family…then silencing (under a death threat) and isolating me for a decade+…ALL to ensure those lies would never become public knowledge.

There is an extreme arrogance to lying.

It’s an arrogance that assumes that the deception cannot be seen through.

Ultimately, it’s an arrogance of (false) superiority.

⚛️ The Ultimate Demise of Fundamentalist Spirituality…The Arrogance of Superiority: https://open.substack.com/pub/leslieread/p/the-ultimate-demise-of-fundamentalist?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

PRIOR TO THE COMPRESSION YEARS…

During a weekend phone gathering with Jeannie Zandi, I attempted to describe the feeling of being forced to hold on to something which, at that point in time, I could not disclose due to a death threat (source: Nome).

Jeannie asked me, “What if I had to hold on to the ‘something,’ that I had described, forever?“

As soon as Jeannie asked that question, I knew beyond any doubt that she was covering for the lies of Nome, etc., by using the very teachings to exert influence over my own sovereign voice and to gaslight me into silence.

A cold chill went through my entire being.

I was later befriended by a handful of Jeannie followers who were actively covering for this silencing…notably: Paul Kaufman, Cynthia Gramer, Traci Fest and Lisa Lindenlaub.

The Definitive Participation of Adyashanti…

Around 2011 I attended a couple talks by Adyashanti given in Santa Cruz. At one of those talks I went up to to the mic to ask a question…Adya’s standard format for putting the ‘ego’ on the spot. Adya’s answer was surprisingly arrogant when he indicated, in the silence, to ‘try and comprehend what it was that I was up against.’ I was well aware of Nome’s occult prowess. It was the smug arrogance of the answer that struck me more than what he actually said.

⚛️ The Unseen Use of Spiritual Power (Siddis) for Control-Over-Others…in Contemporary Non-dual Teachings: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-unseen-use-of-spiritual-power

It was shortly after having an ‘auric block’…an occult mechanism used to restrict relations — primarily intimate relations — for purposes of control that I was visited by two women: Nishkala Leslie Jennings and Rosemary Cochran. Both had lost their husbands to illness. It was evident that they came to visit to try and normalize the fact that I would be alone.

I would be alone… to ensure the deceptions of non-dual teachers would remain hidden
I would be alone…not due to an illness…
I would be alone… not due to my own choice…

…but by an occult restriction…an ‘auric block’ that would affect my entire well-being: emotionally/intimately/sexually, psychologically, spiritually, familially, financially and existentially. It was a death.

Later, Belle Sanjiti (aka: Belle Haywood) would actually taunt me with the notion of a relationship.

One of the key connections to Adyashanti was Susana Marie. We met several times at a local coffee house where she would tell me of her experiences… experiences which I deeply related to and yet it was evident that I could not share them. This connection was one of the first where I would listen to those who would describe their experiences and I had to be silent. This was not necessarily due to anything Susanne did but due to the death threat that I was under.

In 2011 Nishkala Leslie Jennings befriended me on FaceBook under the guise of the energetic sameness of our name: “Leslie.” 🙄

That excuse appeared utterly subversive even as she posted it. Yet, due to my being supplicant to absolutely everything that was beginning to be sent to me for purposes of keeping me silent…and my unfortunate fawning to those who appeared ‘awake’ to non-duality…I went along with the lies.

Nishkala, and her friend Rosemary Cochran, arranged for a visit where they would stay at my home. It was at the moment in the kitchen when I was facing Rosemary…and Nishkala was standing behind me…that Rosemary began to say something about my former teacher, Nome. As she began to speak, I noticed Nishkala’s hands waving to her to remain silent about any knowledge of Nome! Even while (not so) subtle this was one of the more overt giveaways of an early cover-up that, overtime, came in the guise of ‘friendship.’

Nishkala Leslie Jennings & Rosemary Cochran

In 2013, Gangaji gave a talk in Santa Cruz in which it was clearly evident that she was covering for the harmful aspects of Nome such as being the outcast.

⚛️ Character Assassination: https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/character-assassination/

Gangaji’s talk took place at the Sesnon House on the campus of Cabrillo College, literally a stone’s throw away from my office.

Shortly after the visit with Nishkala and Rosemary, and right before The Compression Years, two wannabe teachers appeared under the guise of helping me: Brigit Ananya and Nancy Ginty (former wife of John Wheeler and now known as Prajna O’Hara). (As of this writing Brigit has blocked me and Prajna has blocked me on her teaching and writing platforms.) Both were clearly covering for my former teachers. And both were more interested in their attempt to ‘teach’ me than any revelation of the truth of what had happened to myself and my family.

Not to mention the actual Truth.

During The Compression Years…Fall 2013-Fall 2015

By FAR, most of the women who had been sent to me were associated with Adyashanti. So much so that I have to wonder if ‘The Compression Years’ was Adya’s idea to keep me isolated and silenced. Many of these teachers were on board with extreme Gurdjieffian techniques to provoke an “experience of God.”

There were real crimes against Humanity in this regard…and the isolation and silencing of ‘The Compression Years’ was filled with absolute criminality.

Marilyn Madden, Maja Apolonia Rodé and Karen Richards

⚛️ The ‘Compression Years’…of isolation and deliberate silencing (under a death threat) at the hands of non-dual teachers…in which Adyashanti played a key role: https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/

Two women were more overt in their discomfort with what was happening.

They were rebel Kiran Trace de Jaray and Marlies Coccheret, both teachers who had indicated their utter discomfort with what was happening to me. It was Kiran who encouraged my “NO!!” when I was being pressured to move clear across the country to North Carolina to help with Bentinho’s community.

That said, neither of them could speak out.

Or, at least, I never heard about it. Marlies’s absolute discomfort, when I was in session with her, was clearly evident.

Marilyn Madden, close family friend to Adyashanti, was by far the most avid woman actively covering for the sweeping lies of these teachers. She was THE link to all the others in Open Gate.

Additionally, and this is important, she was a close family friend of Adyashanti.

During The Compression Years I was actually paying for sessions with some of the women to help me out with what I had been forced to hold…women who were not being honest and forthright with me regarding their knowledge of my former teachers and of what was occurring at their hands to myself and my family. They were:

Sonya Amrita Bibilos
Marlies Cocheret (who, as mentioned, was clearly not comfortable with the position I was forced into)
Pernilla Rose
Kate McNamara, the psychic’s psychic
Julie Yau, trauma expert and speaker at SAND

…all were covering for these teachers.

Looking to use a coupon for horse rides across the bay, I invited Marilyn. Not surprisingly Marilyn would not ride in the same car with me! That’s how much safety was being taken to keep my voice utterly silent and to ensure that certain topics would never come up.

Aile Shebar was a key player in the Poonja tribe. While helpful in some ways she also engaged in a dramatic example over-speak when we visited a relative of hers in the Bay area. I could NOT have gotten a word in edge-wise if I had tried!! 🥹

Yet she is the one who…perhaps accidentally?…described my situation as akin to being “buried alive.”At the time she uttered those words I had not felt the full force of the truth behind them. That would come as I witnessed the deliberate separation of my family while I was silenced under a death threat from speaking out. It was then, that I could barely breathe.

Aile Shebar & myself w/ the safety of fawning

Two of the most stalwart, early protectors of patriarchal teachers were Mirjam Temba and Sattva Lynn. I consider some of Mirjam’s earlier patriarchal postings to be downright harmful in the utter dismissal of our Humanity.

⚛️ The Tangled Web of Deception: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-tangled-web-of-deception

During the ‘Compression Years’ I made a reconnection with Nancy Ginty, who was now going by the name of Prajna. We ended up spending significant time together as she attempted to be a teacher to me! I took the cover photo for the 1^st edition of her book “Edge f Grace” which has since been replaced by a newer edition. At one visit to her home, she actually had to whisper when talking about my situation…that’s how nuclear and secretive my presence had to be.

Regarding patriarchal non-duality as taught by women…I attended a talk in Scotts Valley where I was hoping Prajna and Meike Schutt might offer some integral, feminine insight into the constrictions on this life. That was not what I heard from these two women. In fact, during the dialogue portion, I was so disgusted with the answers…answers completely devoid of our Humanity…that I almost got up and walked out.

I am now blocked from Prajna’s teaching and writing platforms!

The women I had the most contact with during The Compression Years were: Marilyn Madden, Maja Apolonia Rodé, Aile Shebar, Kate Hawkins (via phone: the psychic’s psychic who encouraged me to ‘let go’ of my family!!), Prajna Ginty and Carol Skolnick. Carol, among all of them, was the most critical of harmful teachings, most notably the teachings of Byron Katie.

After The Compression Years…and the Move to Portland:

The two years following The Compression Years involved a deepening concentration of my right to exist and to find a way to my rightful voice in winding my way free from what had been accurately called a “Soul murder.”

⚛️ Coffee Lane and the many engaging in sweeping deception: https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/coffee-lane-and-the-two-years-prior-to-moving-to-portland-december-2015-july-2018-%e2%9c%be/

Shortly after arriving in Portland, I met up with John and Lorraine Thomas…former SAT members who later practiced with Adyashanti. The primary message during their short visit for tea was that Adyashanti, of course, had nothing to do with what happened to me!!

Adya had everything to do with what occurred in this life and to my family.

Following that meeting I learned that Catherine and Michael Weiss Boucher had just moved to Portland. I was under the naïve assumption that by merely talking with ANY of these people and explaining my situation that they would understand. Catherine had been friends with both Nome and Russell during college, and actually lived with them. Catherine was perhaps the only one at SAT to have met Nisargadatta Maharaj in person.

The last thing she would ever do would betray Nome and Russ. So, she listened with as much compassion as possible while maintaining a cover for teachings she had been involved with for decades.

Realizing we were both in the same town, Facebook friend Amaya Gregory contacted me for tea. At this meeting she attempted an energy shifting and clearing. There was a felt sense of arrogance around this. Again, it was obvious who she was/is covering for…and, she too, was surprised when I gave her a fawning hug at the end of the meeting.

❧

“Before the rise of formal religions and patriarchy women knew ‘right sisterhood’ as a Soul experience.They knew the sacredness of their sexuality, their emotions, their creativity, their wisdom and their intuition.There is nothing to prove with ‘right sisterhood.’ She is enough. She is valued. She is loved. She is perfect God energy in feminine form.” ~Molly McCord, “Infinite Sparks of a Bonfire, chapter 15 and on Substack: https://substack.com/@intuitiveastrologymollymccord

Before the rise of formal religions and patriarchy women knew ‘Right Sisterhood’ as a Soul experience. With Right Sisterhood… acceptance, detachment, honor, and respect allowed all women to gracefully be themselves.

The truth of Right Sisterhood has diminished and shrunk in patriarchal society as women became programmed at a young age to compete, stand out, be perfect, and follow gender roles. All of this pervasive messaging established what it meant to be valued, seen, and loved.

At SAT, the patriarchal spiritual organization I was with for over two decades Russell Smith actually stated, out-loud, that “a certain amount of jealousy was good.” Unwittingly or even consciously he was encouraging shadow feminine and elements/energies within the female population at that organization and encouraging their full participation, unwitting as it may have been, in their own patriarchal control.

Typing those words actually brings a sense of shock in this day-and-age, given what we are now seeing play out in the greater global collective.

False sisterhood is based on shadow feminine energies. In some cases, shadow feminine energy supports shadow masculine energies. That was most certainly the case in this lifetime at the very point when I was made the ‘fall-guy’ for this ‘rush to transcendence’ and largely for patriarchal non-dual spirituality.

False sisterhood is when you do not feel safe to be yourself, share your truth, or connect with others. The entire decade+ that I had been silenced and forced to carry lies that were not mine, it was absolutely impossible for me to be myself.

The truly surprising part and probably the most imprisoning was when, over the years, it would be the actual women tied to those organizations-and-teachers who would be the most critical in ensuring my silence. Aside from lying directly-to-me, this happened by various psychological mechanisms such as ‘love bombing.”

“Love-bombing is a form of psychological and emotional abuse in which a person uses excessive displays of attention or affection to gain power and emotional control — creating an ‘epistemic trust.’ “

This emotional connection creates ‘epistemic trust,’ meaning the gaslighter will have a greater influence over the person’s beliefs, including beliefs about themself…”

It would not be until I actually started writing on Substack, leaving the majority of my writing on my website www.integrityintruth.com and moving my expression onto a new platform, that I began a long-awaited return to my authentic self.

It was as if I was transferring the energy from a website that still contained a substantial amount of fawning and deference…which was a way of protecting myself from the existential threats on this life…to claiming a right to exist and take up space.

This was such an airtight collusion…one where Jac O’Keeffe and the entire formation of the ASI looked to protect…and is finally evolving to a much greater transparency instead of hiding behind the notion that spirituality is all the “wild, wild west” where there can be no accountability.

From this space I began the process of slowly healing the energies back to love…and safety of expression. This is, by no means, a complete journey. I was/am digging out from years of existential control in a spiritual system deeply steeped in protective and controlling patriarchal norms.

Our individual and collective Soul missions involve healing all of our memories of separation from God…across lifetimes. This was indeed the case as intuitive astrology was the clear forerunner providing the cosmic mechanisms that were the most helpful in digging myself out from patriarchal suppression that not only included silencing but may have also included crucifixion. And an ode to Jupiter in Cancer, providing the necessary self-care during the past twelve years, without which I most certainly would have been a goner!!

It was not until I went further, and much deeper, into intuitive astrology…especially with astrologers who had no allegiance to any particular teachers…that I found a community among those on an awakening journey. Those who upheld right action, integrity and Truth. The Cosmos has no allegiance.

⚛️ The Mystery of Past Lives: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-mystery-of-past-lives

On the global stage we are seeing this same dynamic of women who are supporting a convicted felon and rapist of young girls…continuing-on with their support in spite of growing evidence of horrendous criminality becoming more and more prominent.

⚛️ A Message on Our Core Values: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/a-message-on-our-core-values

This singular rift is unlike anything we have ever witnessed on this entire planet and it’s not just occurring in the United States.

Ultimately it would take the betrayal within an intimate relationship for me to claim a self-love so strong that it would remove me entirely from that patriarchal dynamic.

⚛️ Carl Jung: Individuation and the Empath’s Road Back to Their Authentic Self: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/carl-jung-individuation

We may actually be seeing… right before our very eyes… that same kind of dynamic where the powers-that-be ultimately display a betrayal so vast and so unmistakable that the entire collective wakes-up to a self-love so strong in its refusal to ever again betray itself!

Perhaps there could be the process of individuation and awakening on the collective level!

Thank you, always, for following my work…please message me if you would like to share your own experiences with control-over-others or if you have any questions.

Warmly…🌷

-Leslie@integrityintruth.com

On Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/leslieread and at Integrity in Truth: Integrityintruth.com

April 15, 2026April 15, 2026

When Spiritual Surrender is Actual Poison

(Trailing Roses taken with an iPhone 4 in Santa Cruz, California, when I was still fully devoted
***even*** after having received a death threat should I ever speak out.)

Don’t get me wrong: spiritual surrender can be beautiful in its utter letting-go. But let’s not throw out the baby-with-the-bathwater. In the wrong context…and there are some wrong situations…spiritual surrender can, definitively, be the exact opposite of what a person needs on this most-profound-of-all-journeys.

Trust is the bottom line.

The guru, in whom I had trusted with the entirety of my life, turned out to be the least trustworthy and God, Source, Spirit, whatever term you would choose to use, turned out to be trustworthy in the Absolute sense. It would be the internal downloads from Spirit that would, ultimately, lead me out of the existential hole that the controlling relationship to this guru had created.

Over the course of my twenty-plus years of spiritual practice I found spiritual surrender to be of profound depth and beauty. It was also the predominant path of many at the organization SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth). That lasted until the time when Nome entered into a relationship with his then student, Judy Gilden, and decided that ‘spiritual inquiry’ would be the dominant path going forward. I continued on with my own practice…a combination of surrender and Dzogchen.

I was no slouch seeker. None of us were. We occasionally joked that we were definitely not at SAT for the pastries.

Much of what we engaged in over the years partook of highly ineffectual and inefficient practices…practices removed in time-and-space and decorated with the elaborate-ness of traditions that were/are long outdated. Judy Gilden, later Nome’s wife, exclaimed during one satsang, “I’ve been here for over a decade…and nothing.”

Yet, at the core of spiritual surrender at SAT was a trust in a higher power. This was the heartbeat of spiritual surrender. We need look no further than the Guru who was sitting in front of us.

*“…if one first understands the profound Guru-and-disciple relationship and is accepted as a disciple, the absorption of the Teaching will come of itself.”* This I fully believed and felt.

I jumped into the teaching at SAT earnestly beginning in late 1989. I let-go of thought (not wise when raising a family) let-go of worry and concern (great when raising a family) and sailed on a cloud of surrender where I received everything needed…even at a distance.

Fast forward to 2011 or so: when I had been up until then merely observing the lies-and-deceptions of Nome and Russell Smith, which I was giving-a-pass to in the name of spiritual ‘evolution’ and ‘freedom’ when non-dual teachers made the agreed-upon decision…across the entire non-dual teaching spectrum (including Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi and many others)…to place the full burden for their lies-and-deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family literally ripping my family apart. I was silenced (under a death threat) for a decade+…to ensure those lies would never become public knowledge.

This criminality has been described as a ‘Soul murder’ akin to being ‘buried alive.’

Those are absolutely accurate descriptions of the feeling of what occurred here.

Suddenly surrender became actual poison to this situation in which non-dual teachers foisted the full responsibility for their own actions on these shoulders and made me the sole “fall guy.”

It would take this temperament YEARS to realize that what had been second nature to me – surrender — was slowly betraying my Soul, betraying my family AND betraying the (actual) Truth.

The profound medicine of surrender had now become a profound and deadly poison. At this point, I have spent an equal amount of time healing myself from that particular devoted, bhakta path as I had spent on it!

In a delightful reading with a French-Canadian Tarot reader, one of the messages came through where she politely stated, “You need to upright your Emperor!!”

I had no idea what she was referring to. It would take me many years to rebalance an over-emphasized inner feminine with a long-missing inner masculine.

These teachers ALL knew of my ease with surrender…my proclivity to let people walk ALL OVER ME and to have utterly NO boundaries. I fully bought into the dangerous teaching expounded by non-dual teacher that Byron Katie that “Boundaries are an act of selfishness,” and “Victims are violent people.”

The teachers most directly involved in controlling this life so their deceptions would never become public knowledge used my own inner imbalance when I connected with a local man, seemingly random, to try and trigger an ‘awakening’ through the controlling use of toxic tantra…to try and induce a transcendent reality that some equate with actual ‘awakening.’

⚛️ Carl Jung: Individuation….and the Empath’s Road Back to Their Authentic Self: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/carl-jung-individuation

It was right about the 2^nd year of connection with that local man that the no-nonsense teachings of Brene Brown came slamming into my awareness. It was like a slap on the face! WAKE-UP! and stop being a doormat for the utterly unconscious actions of ALL of these non-dual teachers…AND a doormat to this man whose tantric energy I was drunk on especially after close to 2 decades of emotional starvation due to an ‘auric block’ preventing relations, primarily intimate ones for obvious reasons. Brene Brown’s words were like a resounding wake-up call with the message: “You are going “against yourself” for all the wrong reasons!!”

“Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging.” ~Brene Brown

“When somebody intentionally causes harm, that’s a choice they made with full awareness of its cost and they chose it anyway. Boundaries are not cruel; they are not harsh; they are not a form of revenge. They are clarity. They are protection. And, most importantly, they are self-respect in action.” ~Brene Brown

S L O W L Y…I began to ‘upright my Emperor.’ I began to speak-my-truth which is not easy after a literal death threat should I ever do so. And I, slowly, let go of that local man who had been obviously deceiving me the whole time.

This shift was mirrored in many ways, but most significantly in gradually moving my healing writing to the Substack platform…where there was a clean, clear and new energy.

My own website, www.integrityintruth.com had been started when there was significant fawning still present in my words. I included a bazillion flower photos…all my own photography which was also part of the healing process…but were included to, somehow, soften the intense darkness of what I was reporting on: namely actual criminality at the hands of non-dual teachers.

Around June of 2025 my writing began to take a significant turn with the beginning of this post: ⚛️ The Mystery of Past Lives: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-mystery-of-past-lives

Not everyone on the spiritual path needs ego-diminishment. Some actually need the exact opposite. That was clearly the case in this life. But it was never as clear as when I realized those teachers were blackmailing me using my own family. It was only when I rebalanced my inner feminine with an upright, clear and forceful inner masculine that I could even begin to write about their use of familial occult manipulation and blackmail. Ultimately, I was being blackmailed into surrender. These non-dual teachers indicated, I would be reunited with my family once I surrendered to THEIR lies and deceptions.

Historically, and with certain spiritual traditions, teachers have always manipulated families of seekers in order to achieve certain spiritual goals.

⚛️ The Unseen Use of Spiritual Power (Siddis) for Control-Over-Others…in Contemporary Non-dual Teachings: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-unseen-use-of-spiritual-power

A couple decades ago there was the magical appearance of the ‘lost chapters’ of Jacob Beilhart’s ‘Love Letters From Spirit to You.’ (Some will know Jacob Beilhart as the teacher to Joseph Benner, who was the author of the well-known book: “The Impersonal Life” 1914.)

As soon as I received the book in the mail there was a palpable shock that went thru my entire system as the mailman handed me the package. In that book were the ‘missing chapters’ …4 chapters not previously published.

Beilhart was a late 19th – early 20th century American Sage with ‘spiritual community’ in the Santa Cruz Mountains. I opened to the following… “…when you submit to all that is in your nature regardless as to what it has been in the past, or whether it is called good or evil, and resist not their expression even as you have not resisted the right of other persons and things to express what they would to you; when you abandon yourself entirely to all that I give you and condemn not in any expressions then I shall clear away every vestige of the past. And thus will I renew you in every part.”

The shift was subtle. No more apologizing. No more fawning. A decisive move into a far more authentic voice which, overtime, began an inner alignment where the feminine would work in tandem with the masculine. As I began to incorporate this masculine protection, I gathered enough strength to begin speaking out about the REAL DARKHORSE: that of these teachers using my own family to blackmail me into a surrender!

While quiet, it was enough that a sensitive man-friend back east (who I’ve never met in person) messaged me on FaceBook about this change in tone. My Emperor had FINALLY stood up…and he was defending me. Someone… my own self…finally had my back!

Thank you for following my work. 🌷 If you have any questions or comments please feel free to contact me at:

~Leslie@integrityintruth.com …and on Substack: https://leslieread.substack.com/publish/posts/published

My Emperor had FINALLY stood up…and he was defending me. ***Someone***… my own self…***finally*** had my back!

March 13, 2026April 15, 2026

The Unseen Use of Spiritual Power (Siddis) for Control-Over-Others…

in Contemporary Non-dual Teachings

There is no doubt that my former teachers would rely on the utter complexity-of-the-story and the unprovable nature of siddis (occult powers) to ensure that their cultish control-over-others — fueled by lies-and-deceptions — would never surface.

However, Truth always rises. Yet, how does one even begin to write about the Unseen??

How does one write about what, largely, cannot be proven?

That is what this post will be documenting. It is only by documenting, with supportive evidence, the series of events erected to protect this type of fundamentalism, that one can crack the wall-of-silence, pull-back-the-veil on the control of the occult and shed some light on what so many in the west simply do not believe.

This will be a post on unseen siddis or occult powers as they are used in contemporary non-dual spirituality. Aside from sexual abuse, which this post in no way makes light of…occult powers are the single-most controlling factor in modern-day spirituality, particularly in contemporary neo-advaita traditions.

It was in the early days of my affiliation with SAT that this deeply-devoted and open-heart was the recipient of many benevolent occult powers. So-much-so that I nearly wrote a book about them as there were so many. Often, those siddis were accompanied by hilarious incidences. While I can only describe my understanding of such, there was a very definitive “scent” upon the arrival of each magical occasion. That unmistakable ‘scent’ was of my former teacher, Nome.

While I never ascribed any egoistic attribute to such occurrences (which may be the reason I was privy to so many), I would often run next door to my father’s small abode, and say, “You would not believe what just happened!!” Whereupon he would say: “I do not experience such occurrences, but I do believe you.” He could sense that I was not making any of this up. There were many such occasions.

From the very first, of a Bearded Collie puppy that arrived in our lives: a breed well-known for being good with young children and a puppy who had been advertised for several hundred dollars. Upon arriving at the breeder’s I was convinced by the owner to ‘take my pick’ of the litter — for free!! — and was sent-off with vaccination shots, a bath, and a crate to take her home in! ALL for FREE!

From there, I and my entire family would reap the rewards of numerous discounted airline flights from Denver to Santa Cruz…over-the-years an average of about $25. for each flight! The first of such free flights ended with my sitting in the airport lounge, steeped in bliss.

It was then that I knew exactly where all these free-flights were coming from.

On one such occasion, my entire family volunteered to give up our seats in exchange for two free airline tickets for each of us, whereupon the flummoxed pilot was heard saying, “How did that entire family get kicked off!?” My daughter joyously dancing down the airline ramp and singing “We got kicked off!!”

Occasionally, although rarely, Nome and Russ would appear together in an occult scenario. They could appear as anyone. I understand that it’s hard to wrap one’s mind around the fact that a person could assume an alternate identity.

Siddis can do anything.

Yet it was always the same feeling-scent. The feeling-scent was utterly unmistakable in each instance. (People are generally unaware of the reality of occult siddis and are definitely unaware of when siddis directly affect them!)

Spiritual teacher Andrew Harvey offers one of the very rare insights into this dynamic:

“It is my belief that 90 percent of the so-called masters in the modern world are not enlightened at all but are in fact occult magicians. The occult magician will use his or her occult powers to ensnare the devotee in a posture of adoration by feeding them visionary experiences, which may seem to open things up for the devotee but actually keeps one dependent on the guru. It’s a kind of drug pushing as dangerous on the spiritual level as cocaine or heroin is on the physical. Because people don’t know the difference between the divine and the occult, nor how accurately the occult can mimic the divine, nor how easily occult powers can be cultivated by the unscrupulous and ambitious. They take these powers and experiences to be unmistakable signs of divine presence and go on worshipping as divine these people who have, in fact, shown that they are neither good, nor kind, nor humble, nor generous.”

Andrew’s description perfectly illustrates how the occult can easily mimic the Divine and ensnare both the student and the teacher alike.

Because of my knowledge of the ruse-of-the-story behind the brothers and the deceptions of Nome & Russell Smith it gradually became too dangerous for me to remain at SAT as those teachers feared the rest of the sangha, especially the Indians, would find out.

To this day, there are a handful of people who had been there since their late teens and 20’s. And quite a few who have consistently given their entire salaries and so much of their time. Of course, the Indians, who Nome wanted to help the most, had to be shielded from what I knew.

When asked about my reporting Nome resorted to the standard refrain for all deflectors stating: “She’s lying.”

Right before the end of my time at SAT Nome stated, in silence, a warning which would come true and which would affect every single aspect of this life and the lives of my family.

He said: “The hardest thing for you will be to not be able to be in a relationship.”

This would be the very beginning of the once-benevolent siddis turning deeply-malevolent and existentially controlling.

In that moment, of course, I had no idea what he was referring to, but I will never forget that silent statement. It would only be after I had left, and after several sessions with a handful of respected seer-healers and medical intuitives that each, independently, told me an “auric block” had been placed in my field for purposes of restricting relationships.

Although that ‘auric block’ would mean ALL relationships (I was isolated for a decade+ with the exception of those forming an airtight space of collusion and complicity) it would be primarily intimate relationships, for obvious reasons.

And while there were three men (two of whom were sent via Nome/Adyashanti) those ‘companions’ would only work as long as I betrayed myself.

The existential restriction of intimate relationships would, ultimately affect every single area of my life:

personal
mental/emotional/psychological
physical
spiritual
familial
financial etc.

It was the beginning of what has been described as a “soul murder” akin to being “buried alive.”

Those descriptions, by Aile Shebar, of what happened in this life are excruciatingly accurate descriptions to the feeling-sense and the depth of psychological agony.

This was the very beginning of when non-dual teachers made the agreed-upon decision…across the full non-dual teaching spectrum (including Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi and many others)…to place the entirety of the burden for their lies-and-deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family, literally ripping my family apart…silencing and isolating me (under a death threat) for a decade+…to ensure those lies would never become public knowledge.

During the “Compression Years” (an actual description used by those at SAT) from 2013-2015, in which Adyashanti played a major role, a “psychic implant” was planted in the right side of my brain.

Again, at that time, I had no idea what a ‘psychic implant’ was nor had I ever heard of such a thing. The seer who pointed it out during a session stated that a “psychic implant” is used for purposes of extreme, existential surveillance, allowing the host to see-with-your-eyes, hear-with-your-ears, etc…

Again, seer-healers and medical intuitives, all independently pointed-out the implant out as did, oddly, a medical MRI.

(There were SO many covering for the brand of Adyashanti: people who were intent on shielding him from the possible fallout should any of what I was being forced to hold…lies that were not mine and for a teaching I did not believe in…happen to come to light.

As The universe would have it, I had numerous connections with people who were complicit in their collusion with these teachers, and the vast majority of them I had photos of.

The following link indicates some of those connected with, and covering for, Adyashanti…many who I met with in-person:

⚛️ Coffee Lane and the many engaging in sweeping deception (scroll down on this page to see the photo images): https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/coffee-lane-and-the-two-years-prior-to-moving-to-portland-december-2015-july-2018-%e2%9c%be/

It would also be during this time of the ‘compression years’ that I realized my family was, also, being manipulated (details of which I will not relay on a public platform.)

At the time, I felt I had to succumb to such controls.

Objecting to ‘spiritual authority’ absolutely felt foreign to this devoted heart.

The notion that I could possibly have the self-respect to stop this or even report on what was occurring would not arrive until much later.

No doubt this was from the MANY times Nome stressed that to betray or harm in any way, a self-realized Master, would end up in devastating karma.

⚛️ The Ultimate Demise of Fundamentalist Spirituality…The Arrogance of Superiority: https://leslieread.substack.com/…/the-ultimate-demise…

Over time, I became aware of the fact that these teachers were using my family to blackmail me further into silence, on top of the already placed ‘auric block’ and ‘psychic implant.’

Historically, and with certain spiritual traditions, teachers have manipulated families of seekers in order to achieve certain spiritual goals. In contemporary culture this is, now, considered criminal abuse.

About 10 years ago Nome’s wife Sasvati (a siddha master in her own right) appeared in the line at the Santa Cruz Costco a couple rows down from me. She was with her two daughters and laughing unusually loudly so as to get my attention.

The message was abundantly clear: if I surrendered, I’d be reunited with my daughter and son…who I already knew were being manipulated and controlled by siddis (occult controls) in their communication with me. However, surrender is always to The Truth and never to lies, deceptions and control-over-others.

The controls over my family have been on-going…and long-term.

Nome…(Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji etc) definitely did not want the ‘information’ I was holding to be shared, in any way, with my two kids…especially my daughter. These teachers all had their hands in the ‘Compression Years’…and in the deliberate ripping apart of my family.

Ultimately, it would be my family that would be the prime reason, of course, for ALL of my reporting.

These teachers truly felt confident in their feeling that what had occurred to me, was far too complex to report on, and improbable to prove. (My reporting is primarily for those who already know I am telling the truth! This reporting is basically serving as a mirror.) Additionally, Nome certainly counted on a highly-devoted heart, not only to these teachers, but to so-called ‘awakening’ teachings.

In some sense, that was all very true.

It would take me many, many years to gain enough self-respect to stop acquiescing and follow the Guidance of Spirit and Source in the unwinding of such an existential control.

I remember lying in bed at the Coffee Lane apartment, feeling utterly helpless about the state of this life and the immensity of control… a type of control that I was aware of for the entire past two decades. My life had, literally, been taken.

Two years later, I would move to Portland, which would give me the physical space away from the vast numbers of people in Santa Cruz who had been lying directly to me regarding their knowledge of my former teachers and of what had occurred.

Matt Licata described my ‘situation’ as a “cosmic betrayal” — indicating the immense scope of the betrayal.

⚛️ The Tangled Web of Deception: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-tangled-web-of-deception

The move to Portland would interrupt the physical surveillance and the betrayal by many in that community. But the move would have zero effect on the actual siddis which became dramatically worse after the move to Portland. After I arrived in Portland, there ensued being, literally, stalked by the occult – stalked by siddis.

It was during this time that my health began deteriorating to the point where I thought I could easily die from high blood pressure. This was the result of the enormous stress of being stalked…and from enduring an exceedingly high debt-level on high-interest credit cards to pay my living expenses and ensure my reporting could begin, which it did in early 2019.

Nothing was bringing that HBP down and I could not explain it to the physician.

What would I say?! I’m being stalked by siddis??

This stress would continue from 2018 thru the middle of 2025 when I finally stopped the fawning in my expressed, written voice…when my voice became much more aligned with an inner self-respect.

Notably this important turning point was also when I began my writing on Substack. It was as if I had to move the platform of my writing…a move away from my website…to clear-out even more energy from the past.

⚛️ Carl Jung: Individuation….and the Empath’s Road Back to Their Authentic Self: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/carl-jung-individuation

It would only be through the interior Guidance of Spirit, and the downloads I received, that I would continue in my reporting.

Non-dual teachers were willing to, literally, take someone’s life instead of owning-their-actions…and they felt they could hide it with the unseen powers of the occult within an airtight community.

⚛️ This link describes (only the benevolent of) Osho’s occult powers…courtesy the late Mamaji: https://www.oshonews.com/2011/12/27/16th-karmapa-about-osho/ (Nome was hugely influenced by Osho. The above link explains many of the identical benevolent siddis that both these teachers held. And yet, like with any duality, that attribute includes darkness as well.)

I could never quite reconcile the ‘awakening’ of my former teachers with what I was seeing with my own eyes and empathic sense, namely the lies, deceptions, and some very obvious sexual abuses that are now being reported on (aka Deepak) and which were clearly evident within the Osho cult.

⚛️ The Cult of Radical Non-Duality: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-cult-of-non-duality

⚛️ Inside Osho’s controversial cult – The dark side of the Rajneesh movement (Full Documentary, 2013): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6UVw7M5tlo

In light of that, I fully agree with Jeffrey Wolf Green’s assessment of Osho as a ‘sexually awakened’ person and not a ‘spiritually enlightened’ one. I do believe that was the case with Nome and the many who occupy the non-dual arena.

(Jeffrey Wolf Green, Neptune: Whispers from Eternity, 2016, Osho example: pps. 139-150)

⚛️ ASI LETTER (Association for Spiritual ‘Integrity’) 03/06/2023 at the end of which is a link to a short recording (22 min.) detailing the occult controls over 4-generations of my family… to which Rick Archer said to just walk away: https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0&e=1&fbclid=IwAR2hNCDCiHgzRQrXqce9WFFH5vgHGHoGlda3PUlGKT2n1qMuoFfoMadMbvs

Thank you for following my work. 🌷

Please feel free to contact me with any questions or to share your own experiences. ❦

Warmly, Leslie@integrityintruth.com

⚛️ Integrity in Truth https://www.integrityintruth.com

And on substack: https://substack.com/@leslieread/posts

February 20, 2026April 2, 2026

Patriarchal Neti-Neti: The Ultimate Tragedy of Dissociation & Spiritual Bypassing…

enabling abuse & control-over-others

After I left the non-dual teachings I was involved with for over 20+ years, it became obvious to me that, in those teachings, my only value as a Human was as a transcendent one.
In a nutshell, that opened wide-the-door for existential harm and control-over-others.

From the very beginning, I was never down with ANY delineation of real-and-unreal, inside-and-outside… nor the elimination of such as: “you’re not the body, senses or mind;” the world is unreal; nothing-ever-happens (ajata) etc.

⚛️ Ajata and the wide-open-door-to-abuse: https://integrityintruth.com/ajata-and-the-wide-open-door-to-abuse/

WHY?

Firstly, it’s untrue.

Secondly, exactly who draws the line between real-and-unreal? And where do they draw it??

Thirdly, and perhaps the most important: in eliminating the body-senses-world you are eliminating the most efficacious routes to your true nature!!

As soon as anything is separated out from the Whole we are already skating-on-thin-ice. This is especially so if the renunciation is done at the bequest of spiritual leaders, as was the case in the ancient advaitic practice of renunciation known as Neti-Neti. This wholesale-elimination practice was adopted by many in the neo-Advaita space of contemporary non-duality…opening WIDE-the-door for harm, abuse and control-over-others.

Additionally, this wholesale renunciation led to sweeping judgements-of-others…literally, anyone who fell ‘outside’ the norms of such a rigid world-view. After 2 decades+ in such a dogmatic teaching I still, to this day, find myself pulling back from certain situations or thoughts or people as though some invisible line-in-the-sand exists…anywhere.

⚛️ Denial and the Duality-of-Non-duality: https://integrityintruth.com/denial-the-duality-of-non-duality/

In the early days following my arrival at SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth, Santa Cruz, CA) I was encouraged to renounce my family. (read that again!)

Historically, and with certain spiritual traditions, teachers have manipulated families-of-seekers in order to achieve certain spiritual goals.

In the early 90’s, renunciation and the path-of-siddas, became a ‘thing’ at SAT and the discourses were largely centered on the renunciation of everything…everything. The world, your body/senses/mind were ALL entirely “unreal.” And while the real meaning of “unreal” was understood to mean “not separate” it never-the-less led to the dangerous hypocrisy of the split-mind.

During one Satsang I raised my hand and asked point-blank: “Are we truly meant to be automatons??” My question was dismissed.

That teaching dismissed the very thing — our body – which is, ultimately, the most efficacious portal to Presence and transcendence (if transcendence is your goal). This transcendence-addicted approach was largely equated with spiritual evolution. Is true awakening really marked by transcendent states pervaded with bypassing, dissociation and spiritual materialism?

Is that what awakening is??

In an early private with Nome, I asked about this need to dismiss the entirety of our experience as “unreal” and stating how that did not resonate with my prior experience as a young girl. Surprisingly, Nome’s answer to me was “You must have renounced in a prior lifetime.” (From then on this devoted heart relied on the inner teaching and silence which was vastly different than what was being presented in the public talks. I would, later, be the scapegoat for those outer teachings that I never believed in).

⚛️ The Scapegoat Phenomenon…Involving Sensitive Souls and Empaths: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-scapegoat-phenomenon

⚛️ The Mystery of Past Lives: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-mystery-of-past-lives)

Nome’s answer certainly rang true, yet his current teaching should have been my indication that this was never meant to be my path where, ever since my childhood, everything was included. From a naturally devoted heart (likely from prior lifetimes) I would enter states of what is now commonly called ‘flow’ and ‘bliss.’ Yet, from the beginning, Nome was touted as the only ‘awake’ teacher in this country…and there was a deep heart connection from which his internal communication flowed.

Additionally, and as Russ pointed out, this renunciate approach was successfully taught within an airtight insularity that is often found in cults. While I believe this was never overtly felt by the members of SAT that control was/is very much the case. In SO many, if not ALL, ways…this deliberate separation can harm one for life.

No doubt the wholesale rejection-of-everything would spiritually justify Nome’s decision to, later, place an “auric block” in my field restricting relations – primarily intimate relationships – ensuring his lies and deceptions would never become public knowledge. That occult move would affect every area of this life: mental, emotional, spiritual, relational, financial – everything.

**(Unmarried Woman by** Wojtek Kowalski who does paintings from an ‘internal need.’This was the feeling of when an ‘auric block’ was **deliberately** placed in my field to prevent relations, primarily intimate ones, and the devastating effects on every.single.area.of this life…ALL because those teachers felt justified due to this un-natural separating-out from the Divine Order and the bypassing of such.)

While many of us never heard of the other contemporary non-dual teachers, as we were told Nome was the only realized teacher, when the mention of U. G. Krishnamurti came up Russ chimed-in with “How many people actually realize with such a non-teaching as Krishnamurti’s??”

U.G. was the Indian “anti-guru.”

Only recently, I watched a video where Facebook friend David Solomon, who was close to U.G. Krisnamurti, discussed U.G.’s basic approach in this way: “I don’t see UG as ever suggesting that we should ‘throw anything out.’ He was about accepting the world and ourselves exactly as we are…and in doing that, Life takes over and blossoms in its own natural Way. One’s own Life and what grows around that.

UG was not only staunchly promoting that everyone be themselves but recognizing all of Life around us has a right to be what IT is too. And to accept the Wisdom of our bodies, and accept the Wisdom of the natural world.”

It had always been my deep feeling that our body and, hence, the world was the most efficacious route to Freedom. So, it followed that all the talk of the body…the senses…and the world being unreal dragged any process of integration out for years, and, often, decades.

Not only was neti-neti inefficient and out-dated, it revealed so much of the utter hypocrisy of what radical non-duality actually is: the undeniable duality of non-duality.

⚛️ The Existential Danger of Radical Non-Duality: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-existential-danger-of-radical

“You know being around someone whose main objective in life was to NOT falsify himself…and doing his darndest to prevent us from doing that to ourselves. That’s just a Blessing… there is no explanation… I can’t imagine being any luckier than that.” ~David Solomon

Both the Krishnamurtis were against “A Way.” Every person had their own way.

The ‘way’ was about taking what comes one’s way in stride.

⚛️ The Case for Ultimate Independence: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-case-for-ultimate-independence

As Humans we live in this world…on this planet. Who, exactly, would draw any line and where would they draw it?

Jeff Brown said it fairly succinctly…and with a pardon for ALL the necessary f**k bombs…

Pamela Wilson (in the landmark book Ordinary Women, Extraordinary Wisdom, Spet. 28, 2007, by Rita Robinson) stated: “Not ‘neti-neti’ but ‘YES-i-YES-i’ ” A succinct statement revealing the subverted feminine-half of the spiritual journey and bringing it down to earth to embrace ALL of what it means to be Human. ❦

It’s my feeling that, at this point in our spiritual evolution, we are moving definitively away from any patriarchal paradigm and, perhaps, any need for an external teacher…and most certainly, away from the dogmatic approaches of many of them.

⚛️ The Ultimate Demise of Fundamentalist Spirituality…The Arrogance of Superiority: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-ultimate-demise-of-fundamentalist

There is no doubt that this life was/is arguably one of most disturbingly and existentially harmed (aside from the insidious accounts of sexual abuse seen in cults such as the Osho cult) not only by my immediate teachers but by the sweeping collusion in the non-dual space by teachers looking to protect their meal-ticket of teaching.

⚛️ The following short recording (22 min.) details the occult controls over 4-generations of my family to which Rick Archer (Buddha at the Gas Pump) suggested I just ‘walk away’ primarily because he was covering for Adya’s brand: https://www.dropbox.com/…/Recording%208B%20…

For my Astro-nerd friends, perhaps this will be signified by the momentous move of Neptune into Aries for the 1^st time in 160 years, where it will stay until 2039 and where it will conjunct Saturn at the very beginning of the entire zodiacal wheel…something that hasn’t happened for over 9,000 years…THIS is the day I am typing this.

☯️ everything is already Whole and One

☯️ No need to separate anything out or figure out what, when, and where, how, to separate it out.

☯️ …or worse, be told WHAT to separate out (recently I was told that ‘activism’ isn’t holy!)

If we cannot actively stand-up for our most cherished values, how can we really call ourselves “spiritual?”

Thank you for following my work (and it has been work) in digging myself out from having been silenced (under a death threat)…and way more…at the hands of non-dual teachers.

Warmly,

-Leslie @integrityintruth.com ❦

⚛️ Integrity in Truth: https://www.integrityintruth.com

⚛️ And on Substack: https://substack.com/@leslieread/posts

I wish I had written the following poem…posted by Glenna Erickson Bain on FaceBook:

It’s All Real…All of it. 🌷

~A Poem by Jordan Bates

Family, friends, animals, people, bodies, Earth, music, art, trees, soil, sun.

It’s Real.

It’s not an illusion.

God is not “generating an illusion of a world.”

No, God is being the world.

The world is the literal concrete Body and Heart of God.

It’s all Real.

Non-duality can so easily be used as a means of hiding from this Realness.

By writing the world off as “illusion,” the throbbing, gushing Heart of the world is kept at arm’s length.

By repeatedly asserting that “it’s all unreal,” “it’s all meaningless,” “there’s no one here,” “there is no body,” “there is no world”…

A subtle closed-off-ness can be allowed to persist.

By dismissing this universe as a mere “hologram” or “video game” or “theatrical production” or “movie appearing on the projection screen of consciousness”…

The soft animal-body of this cuddly life can be unconsciously rejected.

One can secretly block oneself from really-truly-deeply-viscerally noticing that the One Poem is written in flesh and bone.

When bones break, it doesn’t feel like a simple reformatting of pixels in a hologram.

When parents weep over the dead body of an innocent child, only a voice of confusion and coldness would ask them why they are grieving the loss of an imaginary character.

They’re grieving the loss of God.

A once-in-existence expression of God.

They’re Real, and their grief is Real.

When they grieve, God grieves.

When we suffer, God suffers.

When we are tortured, God is tortured.

When we are burned at the stake, God is burned at the stake.

When we are raped, God is raped.

When we die a slow and frightening death in a hospital on a ventilator, God dies this same slow and frightening death.

God is not “hiding in the Absolute” in perpetual non-attached, pain-free peace.

No, God is our attachment.

God is our pain.

God is our fear.

And God is also Absolute peace.

God feels it all, for God is all of it.

All of it.

It’s all Real.

True enlightenment is not to escape the human experience.

It is to arrive fully in the human experience.

To land fully on Earth, with a wide-open heart, ready to feel it all and respond wisely and compassionately.

To dig one’s feet into the ancient soil of our Mother, feel her pulsing heartbeat, and know She is Real.

Know She is God.

Know that her children are God.

Know that you are here to Serve Her.

By being exactly who you are.

Living true.

Fully, bravely, with an open heart.

Amen. 🙏

February 14, 2026May 25, 2026

Carl Jung: Individuation

….and the Empath’s Road Back to Their Authentic Self

“When someone’s shadow is reflected back through another person’s clear perception, the unconscious mind has two choices: integrate the shadow or attack the mirror. Jung documented this pattern repeatedly in his clinical work. The person who sees clearly gets blamed for creating the problems they’re merely observing.“ ~Carl Jung

This creates what Jung called the scapegoat phenomenon.

The Scapegoat Phenomenon courtesy Bing Images

In the case here…I was merely observing the lies-and-deceptions of non-dual teachers, which I was giving-a-pass to in the name of spiritual ‘evolution’ and ‘Freedom’ when, later, non-dual teachers would make the agreed-upon decision…across the FULL non-dual teaching spectrum (including Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi and many others)…to place the ENTIRETY of the burden for their lies-and-deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family.

That criminal decision made it virtually impossible for me to be myself. Some called it a ‘Soul murder’ akin to being ‘buried alive.’

“Individuation is the courage to be oneself.” ~Carl Jung

“Highly perceptive individuals often become the designated problem in every group they enter, not because they cause problems, but because they reveal problems that already exist in the collective unconscious. Jung observed: “The bearer of superior perception becomes the repository for all that the group cannot consciously acknowledge about itself. This pattern explains why these individuals don’t just feel misunderstood, they feel systematically targeted by a force they can’t rationally explain.” -Carl Jung

In the most recent months of my healing journey, I began to piece-back-together the “Soul fragmentation” that was a result of having been silenced (under a death threat) and isolated at the hands of non-dual teachers. When those teachers made their decision to scapegoat me I was silenced (under a death threat) for a decade+…to ensure those lies would never never become public knowledge. This criminality has been described as a ‘Soul murder’ akin to being ‘buried alive.’ Those are absolutely accurate descriptions of the feeling of what occurred here. There has been zero accountability and no one who said “this is not right.”

It would be the Jungian teachings…along with the understanding of Evolutionary Astrology which Jung, also, intuitively understood and adhered to… that provided some of the deepest-and-clearest answers as to “why?”

⚛️ The Mystery of Past Lives: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-mystery-of-past-lives

“What really happens when you, finally…perhaps after lifetimes…begin to love yourself?”

According to Carl Jung, self-love is not a mindset or a motivational habit. It is a psychological transformation that restructures your entire relational world. You no longer accept certain behaviors; you establish boundaries where, before, there were none AND this new energy frequency repels some people/things/situations and newly attracts others who are more in alignment with your current, evolved vibrational energy.

As is often-the-case, an unexpected catalyst arrived in this life…one that would ultimately demand my own self-respect and self-love.

In this life, individuation would be unexpectedly-and-intensely catalyzed through a connection with a man I was deeply attracted to. This man was very adept at tantra: in this case, a tantra used for emotional manipulation (one could call that ‘toxic tantra’ – a deeply controlling drug-like sexual method that, I intuited, was directed by Gangaji and Eli Jaxon-Bear, during this man’s visit to Ashland). It turned out this was a man who also knew of my former teachers and of what occurred at their hands. With the connection to this man those teachers were hoping for a ‘sexual awakening’ upon which they would, then, restore my estranged family which Nome had restricted. (In certain cultures and spiritual traditions, the manipulation of families was often used to force certain spiritual outcomes.)

Obviously this man was not being forthcoming-and-honest with me about the connection with those teachers…or anything else in his life.

That betrayal ultimately forced-my-hand and re-organized the entirety of how I looked at myself, my world, my truth and The Universe.

In this profound sense, that man was an evolutionary catalyst and ultimate Blessing in this life.

Up until this point, I had been led to believe, especially in the non-dual teachings I was involved with for over 20+ years, that to deny oneself is the way to spiritual freedom. The standard ego-diminishment approach of radical, transcendent-addicted non-duality.

No doubt that radical approach to transcendent awakening can work (depending on what you consider ‘awake’) especially in an airtight, insular environment where there has been an establishment of “complete trust.” I saw this approach be successful with a handful of friends who, then, looked horrified as they could, finally, see what I had been forced to hold for years.

For many years, I felt that my trust and devotion was, certainly, strong enough to withstand such a complete ‘erasure.’

That was until that trust would be completely betrayed beginning with the ‘character assassination’ and numerous instances that culminated in Russ stating (in a taped session) that “we had to pick someone” indicating that I would be sidelined out of “Sudden Awakening” as I would be, ultimately, at SAT several years later. This sidelining was ALL due to seeing through the lies of these teachers.

⚛️ Character Assassination: https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/character-assassination/

⚛️ The Existential Danger of Radical Non-Duality: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-existential-danger-of-radical

The connection with this catalyst man forced the unspoken ultimatum of a profound Love…but only if I would continue to:

– betray myself

– betray my family and

– betray the truth of a situation.

It was a betrayal SO UTTERLY COMPLETE: asking me to uphold the lies of non-dual teachers…to succumb to the very real occult (via siddis) manipulation of my family and to uphold a patriarchal, transcendent teaching that I no longer believed in as being the liberating teaching. All of those, together, was something I could NOT do.

It would take me many months of back-and-forth and for my conscious understanding to seep down in to exactly what my Soul was demanding. I was intensely attracted to this man and was, at that point, emotionally starved from the existential restriction of an ‘auric block’ which restricted all relations, primarily intimate relationships, for obvious reasons.

Over the following months, noticeably beginning around June of 2025, I began to see the actual play of this unconscious attachment…and how my connection to this man was being weaponized by non-dual teachers to ensure their lies and deceptions would never become public knowledge. My former teachers, no doubt, felt my empathic over-giving, people-pleasing nature would continue in her self-betrayal…especially as I had been blocked and surveilled (via ‘auric block’ and ‘psychic implant’) from relations, primarily intimate ones, for over a decade…a block that would affect every single area of my life: mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, financial, familial etc.

It was the connection with this man, who touted his own self-love…as any proud Leo is apt to do (!)…that began to catalyze my own journey of self-love, self-respect and, ultimately, back to myself. Slowly, I stopped negotiating my own self-worth for access-to-love and I stopped bargaining my unconsciously devalued-self and began to return to my own inner authority. Belonging, no matter who or what it’s to would never require you to betray yourself.

Finally, I stopped negotiating my self-worth for this man’s access.

When I finally decided “no more”…this man said “I don’t know if I should be glad or sad for you.” That was as close as he would ever get to being honest with me.

When I was forced, under threat for more than a decade, to be the “holder” for the lies and deceptions of non-dual teachers it became impossible to “become who I truly was.”

“Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging.”~Brene Brown

Self-betrayal is the empath’s learned survival strategy and mechanism. This was, absolutely acknowledged by Nome…indeed, he would rely on my compliance to ensure the corruption in the non-dual space would never become public knowledge.

The empath learns to bargain their Soul and soften their boundaries in order to become acceptable.

This was definitely reinforced in the non-dual path…as it is in many traditions.

“Boundaries are an act of selfishness” and “Victims are violent people.” ~Byron Katie

An interesting memory came up when I was contemplating this aspect of the empath: I remember exactly the moment of recognition by Nome, in the middle of a talk, when he acknowledged, in silence, the ‘spiritual’ aspect of my own propensity of over-giving, akin to the martyr complex in Catholicism. It was a moment of understanding regarding the mutual symbiotic relationship between the empath and the controlling doctrine involving lies and deceptions of this teacher.

It was about people who see everything others miss, and why this ability destroys them. In his clinical practice, Jung documented patients with what he called “differentiated perception.” Individuals who could read micro-expressions, sense hidden emotions, and perceive psychological patterns that escaped everyone else. They saw through social masks, detected lies instantly, and felt the unconscious tensions in every room. Jung called this discovery “dangerous” because these people consistently ended up isolated, exhausted, and unable to maintain normal relationships. ~Carl Jung

People began to disappear as I was growing into myself. Deep inside I knew this was/is no mistake. I could feel the profound inner re-alignment under way. For the first time in this life…and no doubt lifetimes…I was beginning to feel like myself. There would be the felt snapshots-of-perception when, interiorly, everything fell into alignment. This was a new sensation. As this Self began to become the center of my psyche, relationships…and everything else not in that same frequency…began to reorganize naturally. This feels to be the ongoing process of lifetime(s).

…a LONG time!

Thank you for following this journey of a Soul reclaiming herself. No doubt this is the path of many sensitive beings.

As I grow in my own process I will add posts of the Wisdom of Carl Jung as it pertains to the empath and the process of individuation. There are, currently, many videos that beautifully capture and animate the teachings of Carl Jung…especially regarding the psychology of the empath and the, oftentimes, arduous road to individuation and the role of the healed empath.

A couple examples:

“The empathic individuals inability to forgive emotional deception isn’t weakness. Jung would call it the Wisdom of the integrated Self… the ultimate act of psychological integrity.”

⚛️ “The one emotional mistake super empaths never forgive”… https://youtu.be/bOQzQiT15CY

⚛️ Why Empaths Who Stop Caring Become the Most Dangerous of All…(it’s never that we ‘stop’ caring!) yet this is a powerful video: https://youtu.be/xwALbIQayX4

Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or would like to discuss an aspect of your own journey.

Warmly,

-Leslie@integrityintruth.com

⚛️ And on substack: https://substack.com/@leslieread/posts

Next up: The False Sense of Belonging…and other aspects, links and videos pertaining to Carl Jung and the liberating process of individuation.

October 20, 2025November 13, 2025

The Ultimate Demise of Fundamentalist Spirituality…

The Arrogance of Superiority

Hands-down, one of the stickiest issues for me in leaving the cult of radical non-duality was the one of superiority…and of barely being able to tolerate ‘others’ who were not anywhere near a similar path. The notion that we were the “chosen ones” had not only been a very large part of the unseen, subtle indoctrination but one that was, quite literally, embedded in my bones over the course of my 20+ years at SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth). This dynamic was not only endemic to this cult but is seen playing out, similarly, in much larger cults, such as the Osho cult. While certainly not stated out loud, it was deeply implied that we were ‘The Chosen Ones’…Narcissism at its height.

⚛️ The Cult of Radical Non-Duality: http://: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-cult-of-non-duality

One of the biggest…and most fraught…downfalls of such arrogance is that this worldview lays the perfect ground for the justification of lies-and-deceptions. The fact that Nome and Russell Smith were/are serial liars is well-known in the non-dual community. The entire set-up of the organizations at Nome and Sasvati’s SAT (Society of Abidance in Truth), Russell Smith and Helga Schleiter-Smith’s “Way of Sudden Awakening” and Candace O’Denver and Russell Smith’s “Great Freedom/Balanced View” were/are ALL based on lies, deceptions and emotional manipulations of their followers.

These types of tactics are, in no way, confined to these teachers but are part of a broad-based aspect of functioning within many fundamentalist groups. The fact that these groups were/are “non-dual” is NO exception to this destructive and coercive dynamic.

One of the truly sad aspects, within my own experience, is knowing that there are, still, people at SAT who are subject to this arrogance of manipulation…some who are the very people Nome set-out to help: the Indians. Questions during Satsang by those who have ‘awakened’ (according to Nome’s definition) are staged-and-repeated by those same people.

To this day non-duality is hailed as the equivalent to the Teachings of The Christ and The Buddha whose teachings involved so much more than mere non-duality. There is a very definitive sense of right-and-wrong and ethical standards.

Many non-dual teachers, such as Leonard Jacobson, actually advertise their programs on this false equivalency to the Teachings of The Christ…as did Nome and Russell Smith. I had to point out to Leonard on one such thread that The Christ nor The Buddha would have ever given a pass to such actions as described in this letter: ⚛️ ASI LETTER (Assoc. for Spiritual ‘Integrity’) 03/06/2023 at the end of which is a link to a short recording (22 min.) detailing the occult controls over 4-generations of my family… to which Rick Archer said to just “walk away”…https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0&e=1&fbclid=IwAR2hNCDCiHgzRQrXqce9WFFH5vgHGHoGlda3PUlGKT2n1qMuoFfoMadMbvs

The HUMAN side of this is that 4-generations of my family were involved in the fallout from the sweeping deceptions of these teachers. We’ve all seen that one can be awake to Wholeness and yet that, in no way, means one is free from shadow or is somehow a balanced and decent human.

When there is the arrogance of superiority there is no room for discussion.

“Non-duality has LONG had within its approach the trap of just another superiority view of “spirituality/being-ness.” Any “superior” approach, whether it’s Christian, non-dual, Buddhist, Hindi, Muslim, atheist, etc. has already chosen a slippery slope practice, and invites the opportunity for exploitation, control, judgement, and exclusion. If one hasn’t processed and cleared out their subconscious “psychological basement” of cultural, religious, and familial fear-based and limiting beliefs, one will be susceptible to being controlled or capable of being controlled by a variety of “monsters” in various religious, monastic, or political garb.” ~Judith Froemming

While I absolutely agree with Judith’s statement there are many who become entangled due to the unseen-and-controlling mis-use of siddis (occult powers) which so easily mimic The Divine. This was most certainly the case at SAT. One could have cleared out their “psychological basement” all they want and still get entangled with these unseen forces.

Mere non-duality is just that: it is wholeness. In the words of FaceBook friend Kim Rome referring to my description of ‘awake’ non-dual teachers she responded : “They are not awake. They are living in a transcendent reality that is marked by spiritual materialism and bypassing.”
The depth of this statement is deeply profound.

⚛️ The Rush to Transcendence…and the existential consequences: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-rush-to-transcendence

In many, if not ALL, ways…the teaching of non-duality is a teaching on self-betrayal.

In the Universal, on-going, law of as-above-so-below we are seeing play-out the arrogant superiority of fundamentalist, white Christian nationalism. So-much-so that the crosses being worn by all those in the Trump administration are beginning to burn-the-skin of those who wear them with the growing reveal of criminality, in many forms, but in a form most heinous: the cover-up of global child sex trafficking. Possibly the largest cover-up in the world of sex crime. ALL this emanating from the white, fundamentalist Christianity as spelled-out, in its entirety, in the document: Project 2025 and carried out by the man-behind-the-curtain and architect of the diabolical family separations: Stephen Miller. (link below).

⚛️https://static.heritage.org/project2025/2025_MandateForLeadership_FULL.pdf

⚛️ A Message on Our Core Values: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/a-message-on-our-core-values

As with all forms of superiority this, too, will crumble under its own weight…as we are beginning to see with our own eyes.

Thank you for following my work. 🙏

Please feel free to contact me with any questions or comments. ❣️🌷

Warmly,

-Leslie@ integrityintruth.com

⚛️ www.integrityintruth.com

⚛️ https://leslieread.substack.com/publish/posts/publish

The statement below accurately sums up the absolutist teachings of Nome, dismissing our Humanity as essentially unreal, where ANY action…even actions of criminality…will be covered-for by the fundamentalism of his teachings…until they aren’t!

August 17, 2025October 13, 2025

The Scapegoat Phenomenon…

Involving Sensitive Souls and Empaths

This creates what Jung called the “scapegoat phenomenon.” In the case here…I was observing the lies and deceptions of non-dual teachers, which I was giving-a-pass to in the name of spiritual ‘evolution’ and ‘Freedom.’

In the most recent months of my healing journey, piecing back together the “Soul fragmentation” that was a result of having been silenced (under a death threat) and isolated…forced to carry the deceptions of non-dual teachers…it was the Jungian teachings that provided some of the deepest and clearest answers as to “why?”

The following piece describes to a “T” what I experienced at SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth) and the resultant, deliberate ‘character assassination’ (what some have called a “Soul murder”) at the hands of Nome when non-dual teachers made the deliberate decision to place the entire burden for their lies and deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family.

⚛️ Character Assassination: https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/character-assassination/

⚛️ The Tangled Web of Deception: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-tangled-web-of-deception

⚛️ The Cult of Radical Non-Duality:https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-cult-of-non-duality

⚛️ The Mystery of Past Lives: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-mystery-of-past-lives

⚛️ A Message on Our Core Values: As-Above-So-Below: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/a-message-on-our-core-values

⚛️ The Existential Danger of Radical Non-Duality: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-existential-danger-of-radical

-Gratitude Carl Jung, Peter Brouwer and Caravaggio Bolo, via Facebook, for the following text excerpt.

Jung’s most dangerous discovery wasn’t about mental illness. It was about people who see everything others miss, and why this ability destroys them. In his clinical practice, Jung documented patients with what he called “differentiated perception.”

Individuals who could read micro-expressions, sense hidden emotions, and perceive psychological patterns that escaped everyone else. They saw through social masks, detected lies instantly, and felt the unconscious tensions in every room. Jung called this discovery “dangerous” because these people consistently ended up isolated, exhausted, and unable to maintain normal relationships.

Not because they were unstable, but because seeing everything came with a psychological cost no one understood. Today, I’ll show you Jung’s most dangerous discovery about people who see everything, and why he believed this rare ability either destroys you or transforms you into something extraordinary. The case that revealed Jung’s most dangerous discovery began with a patient he described in his private notes.

A highly introverted intuitive type who came to him in 1913 during Jung’s own psychological crisis following his break with Freud. This patient, representing what Jung would later categorize as the rarest personality type, possessed what he called “undifferentiated intuitive perception”.

She could walk into any room and immediately sense the psychological atmosphere: who was lying, who was in emotional pain, who harbored secret resentments. Jung wrote: “The patient displays an extraordinary capacity for perceiving unconscious contents in others, but this faculty appears to cause her considerable distress rather than advantage. She couldn’t engage in small talk because she saw through every social facade.

She couldn’t maintain friendships because people felt exposed and uncomfortable around her. She couldn’t hold employment because her presence disrupted the collective unconscious agreements that keep groups functioning. Jung realized he wasn’t treating pathology. He was observing what happens when the unconscious becomes too conscious, when perception becomes too differentiated for social survival. He documented her describing people with startling accuracy.

She speaks of others as if she has access to their private thoughts and hidden motivations. When I verify her observations through careful questioning, they prove remarkably accurate. This wasn’t psychosis or delusion. This was consciousness so advanced it had become socially dangerous. But Jung discovered something even more disturbing.

Because this patient’s extraordinary perception seemed impossible to explain, therefore Jung began investigating what he would later term “participation mystique”, the psychological phenomenon where individuals with highly differentiated intuition become overwhelmed by unconscious contents from others. Jung wrote in his Red Book period notes:

There are those among us whose psychic apparatus is so finely tuned that they absorb not merely conscious communications, but the entire unconscious atmosphere of their environment. Modern research by Dr. Elaine Aron on highly sensitive persons validates Jung’s early observations. Her research shows that roughly 20% of people have heightened sensory and emotional sensitivity.

But Jung identified something more specific within his psychological typology: the introverted intuitive type, comprising roughly 1% of the population, who don’t just feel deeply, but perceive unconscious patterns with startling clarity. Jung observed that these individuals have what he called “differentiated intuitive function”,

Their brains process not just obvious social cues, but unconscious emotional states, repressed content, and psychological patterns that others cannot detect. They see the depression behind forced smiles. They sense the desperation beneath confident presentations. They feel the collective shadow that groups unconsciously agree to ignore. Jung wrote: “The danger lies not in the perception itself, but in the psychic isolation it creates.

When one sees clearly what others cannot or will not see, one becomes a mirror that society cannot bear to look into. This creates what Jung called “the problem of the superior function”, when your greatest strength becomes your greatest burden because it separates you from collective unconscious participation. But Jung discovered the real danger wasn’t the perception itself,

Jung wrote in “Psychology of the Unconscious”:

Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent. But he discovered this principle extended to all relationships. When someone’s shadow is reflected back through another person’s clear perception, the unconscious mind has two choices: integrate the shadow or attack the mirror. Jung documented this pattern repeatedly in his clinical work.

The person who sees clearly gets blamed for creating the problems they’re merely observing. His patients with differentiated intuition experience this constantly. When they would gently suggest that someone seemed troubled, that person would explode at them for being negative or creating drama. When they’d express concern about obvious problems, they’d be accused of being judgmental or manufacturing issues where none existed.

Jung realized this wasn’t coincidence, it was psychological defense. In “Memories, Dreams, Reflections” he wrote: “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. But for most people, it’s easier to attack the person reflecting their shadow than to examine what’s being reflected. This creates what Jung called the scapegoat phenomenon.”

Highly perceptive individuals often become the designated problem in every group they enter, not because they cause problems, but because they reveal problems that already exist in the collective unconscious. Jung observed: “The bearer of superior perception becomes the repository for all that the group cannot consciously acknowledge about itself.”

This pattern explains why these individuals don’t just feel misunderstood, they feel systematically targeted by a force they can’t rationally explain. But Jung’s most disturbing discovery was still to come, because Jung observed that overwhelming perception manifested differently in different individuals. Therefore, he identified four distinct patterns within the introverted intuitive type, each representing a different way of processing unconscious contents from others.

For this complete article please refer to my note over on Substack by the same title: ⚛️ The Scapegoat Phenomenon…Involving Sensitive Souls and Empaths. https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-scapegoat-phenomenon

Thank you for following my work in the unfolding of a complex karmic SoulCycle. It is my hope that these writings benefit you on your journey. Please feel to write me with any comments and/or questions. ❣️🙏🌷

Warmly,

-Leslie@integrityintruth.com

July 22, 2025May 25, 2026

A Message on Our Core Values: As-Above-So-Below

For the past 14 years…primarily on the Facebook platform…the vast majority of my conversations revolved around the ‘spirituality’ of non-duality…and not political issues.

My interests are, specifically, in the authoritarian aspects of patriarchal non-duality (as extensively demonstrated by authors Joel Kramer and Diana Alstad in their landmark book: The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power…a link to the pfd below) and how the authoritarian aspects of patriarchal non-duality (neo-advaita non-duality) drive their views politically.

I’ve noticed among those who are considered ‘awake’…however one defines that for themselves…that there are a surprising number of folks who adamantly back Donald Trump and his divisive, predatory and overtly racist policies. Yet, considering the authoritarian tendencies of so many in the non-dual world I am, now, not surprised.

Never in-a-million years would I have ever considered that those who are ‘awake’-to-wholeness would even consider to embrace such divisive, predatory and racist ideologies.

The possibility of that, alone, would be the hypocrisy-of-hypocrisies!!

This has me deeply questioning the values of the core spirituality I had once deemed the highest – that of non-duality — and, after many considerations, I question if neo-advaita (non-duality) can even be considered ‘spiritual.’

⚛️ The Cult of Radical Non-Duality: https://open.substack.com/pub/leslieread/p/the-cult-of-non-duality?utm_source=app-post-stats-page&r=ze3ip&utm_medium=ios

⚛️ The Tangled Web of Deception: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-tangled-web-of-deception?r=ze3ip

We’ve all seen that one can be awake to Wholeness and yet that, in no way, means one is free from shadow or is somehow a balanced-and-decent Human.

One can be awake to Oneness and still be creating delusions and, worse yet, harming others in the process.

All one need do is look at the energetics of the likes of such teachers as AdiDa and Osho.

As long as we don human body there is shadow…and mistakes can, and are, easily made.

It’s what a conscious person does once a mistake has occurred that is the true mark of an evolved Soul.

Then we have the unscrupulous who, with the attendant omnipresence-of-awakening, there can arise all sorts of unseen manipulation-over-others…inclusive of existential control.

Values such as truth, honesty, integrity…where the front-matches-the-back…fairness, equality and generosity seem to be hugely missing with those who align with many aspects of patriarchal spirituality, Donald Trump and the MAGA world. SO many, if not all, of the MAGA world profess the teachings of Jesus Christ and proudly wear the cross – a profound symbol of The Christ upholding the very highest of values…with His Life. THAT is what it means to be ‘spiritual’…where we back-up and honor our very Life with our values.

I see no greater opportunity than the recent election of Pope Leo who, I feel, will be a profound albeit gentle yet fierce Mirror for the profound upholding of the true values of Jesus Christ and the true meaning behind what some have bastardized in the name of spiritual and political dogma.

Imagine!!…when a leader of an organized religion has more spiritual integrity than teachers of non-dual ‘spirituality’!! 😀

“You cannot follow both Christ and the cruelty of Kings. A leader who mocks the weak, exalts himself, and preys on the innocent is not sent by God.” ~Pope Leo

Given everything that is currently going on in the world our Humanness comes into its rightful focus and, in numberless ways, is revealing the hypocrisy of those attempting to uphold the ‘world is unreal’ concept…one of the many ‘spiritual’ concepts non-dualists tend to trip-over in their life on this planet and with ‘others.’

⚛️ The Existential Danger of Radical Non-Duality: http://The Existential Danger of Radical Non-Duality

⚛️ The Tyranny of (the) Now…and other Spiritual Concepts: https://integrityintruth.com/the-tyranny-of-the-nowand-other-spiritual-concepts/

Is it possible to uphold values of truth, honesty, integrity…where the front-matches-the-back…fairness, equality and generosity while being addicted to…or chasing after…transcendent states?

Is the mere transcendent state true enlightenment or God-realization? Or…is it merely the recognition of a transcendent state?

When non-dual teachers made the decision to place the entire burden for their lies and deceptions on these shoulders, and the shoulders of my family, they essentially took this life. That is no understatement on the existential harm that stemmed completely from deception…”what a tangled we we weave when first we practice to deceive”…” The details are here:

⚛️ Letter to the ASI (Association for Spiritual ‘Integrity’) at the end of which is a link to a short recording (22 min.) detailing the occult controls over 4-generations of my family: https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdfdl=0&e=1&fbclid=IwAR2hNCDCiHgzRQrXqce9WFFH5vgHGHoGlda3PUlGKT2n1qMuoFfoMadMbvs

Once again, in the words of Facebook friend and teacher David Bingham…

“…I would like to add that in this modern age the Neo-Advaitan tradition of the truth existing ultimately in the sphere of the non-dual (which is followed by so many, with so many esteemed teachers) is a deeply flawed model of understanding of the nature of the human condition and its relationship with the Infinite.

It is a form of understanding which has an in-built tendency to deeply exacerbate illusions concerning the experiences of life and in turn to generate rigidities around its interpretation. In doing so it has great potential to be harmful to the fundamental well-being of its adherents, all the more so because it dresses itself in the clothes of liberation. It is a false and incomplete freedom of the age.”

Having lived through and watching the lives of so many in the contemporary non-dual community…the vast majority of whom lied directly to me regarding their knowledge of my former teacher and of what occurred at their hands…I’d have to conclude that there is very little about non-duality that resembles anything of a superlative Spirituality. Yet, understandably, the non-dual experience is so strong and ‘real’ as to supplant any notion to the contrary.

This…is, sadly, what ends-up as dogma.

Honesty & integrity are values I will not compromise on.

What values do you utterly refuse to compromise…in yourself and in others?

Thank you for reading…and for following my work. ❣️

-Leslie Read https://www.integrityintruth.com

-Joel Kramer & Diana Alstad’s landmark book: The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power

⚛️ https://www.scribd.com/doc/161155563/The-Guru-Papers and

⚛️ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/272481999_On_The_Guru_Papers_-_Informational_Essay_Eng-101

June 28, 2025October 24, 2025

The Cult of Radical Non-Duality…as found in neo-advaita, ACIM etc.

Simply put, a cult is a person and/or organization ensuring abject control over its members thru a variety of means. It has been widely touted that intelligent people would never end-up in such situations… yet, some of the most intelligent folks certainly got ensnared in the Osho cult as well as the cult I was involved with for well over 2-decades.

“A cult is a group, religious organization or family structure of any size led by a charismatic leader. Cults control their members through manipulation, abuse, and coercion. These groups feature transcendent belief systems, and create self-sealing systems from which followers find it difficult to escape.” ~Lalich Center on Cults and Coercion

My time at SAT (the Society of Abidance in ‘Truth’) spanned over 2-decades beginning in late 1989. During that time I would have never considered the teachings of non-duality, as presented by Nome and Russell Smith, to be a cult. THAT …was/is precisely how insular SAT is.

Let me explain….

Somewhat similar to Donald Trump saying exactly what he is going to do (as-above-so-below) Russell Smith actually exclaimed, one day, for all of us to hear: “Cultic tactics actually work!”

That should have been the obvious-and-decisive indicator for me to leave…immediately.

Yet…what over-road even such an outrageous exclamation were the underlying, unseen high-level occult practices of a siddha…in this case Nome. As a siddha, Nome had/has access to occult powers (siddis)…which can literally do anything.
It was this, plus the fact that Nome knew-that-I-knew of his lies and was seemingly helping me in the silent background (THAT is a whole other story!).

While a true Siddha rarely shows these to his/her followers my experience was the perception of MANY siddis with this teacher. So many, I almost wrote a book about them as they were often hilarious and, by-far, most were benevolent and helpful in the earlier years of my highly-devoted practice.

Those siddis were helpful until Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi and many other non-dual teachers in their orbit made the decision to place the entire burden for their lies and deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family.

It was then that those siddis (occult powers) turned deeply malevolent and controlling over every.single.aspect.of.this.life. Those siddis were SO controlling that someone described my situation as a “Soul murder” akin to being “buried alive.” Those are excruciatingly accurate descriptions.

An apt quote from Andrew Harvey on contemporary spiritual teachers:

The lies I was forced (under a death threat) to hold were in regard to the supposed split of the Smith brothers (Nome and Russell) and Russell’s development of Great Freedom/Balanced View with Candace O’Denver. While I never met Candace in person, nor visited her center, I had a reluctant meeting in 2016/17 with Kevin Corlette and Britt Posmer who had just finished a visit to ‘Great Freedom.’ In that meeting I asked what that center was like. Hesitatingly, Kevin stated (paraphrasing) it was “Far too controlling for his liking.” Alternatively, Britt mentioned to stay dedicated to a root Guru. My intuitive sense, in that moment, was that she was indicating for me to stay silent. Coming from Britt, who I greatly admired, this statement actually kept me silent for another couple years.

The teachings of Nome, Russell Smith/Candace O’Denver, etc. grew-up out of the morally corrupt neo-advaita teachings of, primarily, Osho Rajneesh but may have, also, been influenced by Adi Da (who goes by a variety of names stemming from Franklin Jones), Mooji etc. Osho’s entire cult is wrapped in the mesmerizing, albeit beautiful, musical culture of Deva Premal and Miten occasionally accompanied by Manose (Miten and Manose have their own reported sexual exploits).

The following is an important comment by Jeffrey Wolf Green (founder of Evolutionary Astrology) on the spiritual evolution of Osho. I feel it applies equally to Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’ Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi, Byron Katie and many other currently acting non-dual teachers:

“Rajneesh experienced a fall from Grace, because of intense, spiritual delusions of grandeur, and a secret egocentric agenda that pointed the way to himself as the vehicle to salvation. Since he was exposed as a fraud who perverted natural laws because of his own self-interest, we now know that he was really here to fulfill his own soul’s evolutionary intentions. There was a huge emphasis on paying his Saturnian Karmic dues (Saturn exactly opposite Pluto), and having to learn some very harsh lessons around maturity, cooperation, and taking personal responsibility for the consequences of his actions/choices: hence, the massive fall from Grace that was as an evolutionarily necessity. As the mask was finally removed, and his living-a-lie exposed as fraudulent, Pluto, his own soul, would reveal the truth that was not in harmony with natural law, and eliminate (Pluto), the false doctrines to reveal the truth of his deception to the world. The deception was that he had created teachings of the natural truth, but in truth had lured his followers through a sexual vibration, not a spiritual one. Rajneesh was a sexually realized guru, not a God realized one.” (Page 149 of 538 of Neptune: Whispers from Eternity by Jeffrey Wolf Green)

This KEY statement in the above paragraph: “The deception was that he had created teachings of the natural truth, but in truth had lured his followers through a sexual vibration, not a spiritual one. Rajneesh was a sexually realized guru, not a God realized one…”

The above statement is one that accurately describes Nome, Adi Da, Mooji, Candace O’Denver, Amma (the hugging ‘Saint’) and so many other currently acting non-dual teachers…including the teachings of ACIM (A Course in Miracles). They are not God realized.

As sexually realized gurus…the use of sex… including the sexual abuse of under-age girls in the ashrams…is now coming to light as seen in the various reports of the children, now grown women, who grew up in those cults.

As reports have it, by the time I arrived at SAT in 1989, many of the sexual exploits had been “cleaned up.”

As many were/are awakening to the ‘natural truth’ of wholeness…by whatever means: NDE’s (near death experiences), their own attention or thru the current non-dual teachers…people began hanging-out their signs in the hopes for the often-lucrative teaching of non-duality which…to this day…is hyped as the equivalent of the teaching of The Christ and The Buddha…which they clearly are not.

The real danger is in the declaration, and false claim, that this non-dual ‘realization’ was THE actual ‘awakened spirituality.’

This false equivalent is further explored here: Nihilistic, Radical Non-Duality and ACIM…are NOT the Equivalent of Spirituality: ⚛️ https://integrityintruth.com/radical-non-duality-and-acim-are-not-the-equivalent-of-spirituality/

Facebook Friend David Bingham accurately describes the teachers of neo-advaita:

“…in this modern age the Neo-Advaitan tradition of the truth existing ultimately in the sphere of the non-dual (which is followed by so many, with so many esteemed teachers) is a deeply flawed model of understanding of the nature of the human condition and its relationship with the Infinite. It is a form of understanding which has an in-built tendency to deeply exacerbate illusions concerning the experiences of life and in turn to generate rigidities around its interpretation. In doing so it has great potential to be harmful to the fundamental well-being of its adherents, all the more so because it dresses itself in the clothes of liberation. It is a false and incomplete freedom of the age.”

Moral-and-just, neo-advaita is NOT. The old patriarchal paradigm of abuse and control-over-others to ‘free’ people from their attachments to a ‘world’…takes the approach straight-out of the ancient Rumi (among others) play-book: “Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field…I will meet you there.” These teachers literally felt that right-and-wrong – and KARMA – did not apply to them in their transcendent selves.

The Precipitous Dynamic…of imposed suffering, control, subservience and constriction as mechanisms to ‘trigger’ awakening: ⚛️ https://integrityintruth.com/the-precipitous-dynamicof-imposed-suffering-control-subservience-and-constriction-as-mechanisms-to-trigger-awakening/

“The paradox is that the character/ego persona of even the awakened Self still goes thru its cause and effect as long as it dons a physical body – that’s why masters fall ill or lose someone etc – but as awakened Self they are wholly detached from the role….thus its effects don’t affect them! Thus no-me no karma! But cause and effect IS; it’s like a board game on which the cosmic play plays out!” ~Divyaa Kumar

The teachings of neo-advaita/non-duality were/are completely devoid of the ethical integrity that is the Hallmark of true Spirituality.

Leonard Jacobson, as well as many others, actually marketed their teachings as the equivalent of the teachings of The Christ and The Buddha!

Instead of the altruism of genuine Spirituality we have the arrogance of such closed systems looking to preserve the non-dual brand (and their view of what ‘awakening’ is) and the brands of various non-dual teachers such as:

-SAND (Science & Non-Duality)

-Rick Archer’s BatGap (Buddha at the Gas Pump)

-The relatively new association of supposed over-sight: the ASI (Association of Spiritual Integrity) co-founded by Rick Archer and Jac O’Keeffe shortly after I began reporting on this website: ⚛️ https://www.integrityintruth.com

Some have said I am “anti-teacher.” This is not entirely an accurate statement yet, at this point, it is mostly true. As with any system, there are some who are far more dangerous than others…and the scary paradox is that those who may appear the most credible can, also, be the most dangerous.

I now feel that the risk of associating with any given teacher is far greater than, certainly, our own ever-present-and-direct line to God, Source, Spirit, whatever name feels right-and-true for you… and that that Line is ever pure and undefiled by corruption and control.

In the words of Ken Wilber: “Unless you are on a path that includes not only ‘waking up’…but ’growing-up’ AND ‘cleaning-up’…all 3-in-one package…you are going to get f**ked!! You WILL end up in a bad, bad way because one of these is going to go sour. That is THE major, unfortunate, path that the majority of people end up taking… and they end up wasting a life. Samadhi does not, of course, address (ANY) shadow elements…in some cases it makes it *worse* as there is pure dis-identification.”

⚛️ The Existential Dangers of Pure Dis-Identification: https://integrityintruth.com/the-existential-dangers-of-pure-dis-identification/

Looking back, the characteristics the cult at SAT included the following:

-an airtight insularity and airtight secrecy

-the cutting off of anything worldly…the duality-of-non-duality

-strict dictates of dress and actions

-an efficient money-making organization (including the concept of tithing and loan ‘forgiveness’) and assigning your will to SAT as recipient

-an extensive web of lies and deceptions

-cutting people off from their families and friends

-extensive ‘love-bombing’ by those in the non-dual community looking to keep the deceptions I was forced to hold from ever becoming public knowledge.

-using the teachings themselves to gaslight the one who might report on the harm

– polarized, us-versus-them mentality…mirroring the utter duality of non-duality

-an exalted and arrogant status of, not only the teacher, but of its members

-immense control over your time in the forms of service

-pitting some people against others in the group…in the olden days it would be women competing with other women…a sad aspect of the patriarchy

-manipulation of how the group is perceived through publications etc.

-the use of (and threats by) mostly unseen-and-unknown siddis (occult powers)

-reliance on and alignment with traditional spiritual texts and historical Saints and figures

-collusion with other non-dual teachers

-little to no disagreement with the main teacher(s)

-deference to the teacher

Thank you for following my work. Please leave me a comment if you have ever experienced similar or are currently with a group…and, always, if you have any questions and/or comments..

For hotline resources please visit:

-Steven Hassan’s Bite Model of Authoritarian Control: ⚛️ https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model-pdf-download/

-The Lalich Center: ⚛️ https://www.lalichcenter.org/resources-what-is-a-cult

-Rick Ross’s Cult Education Institute: ⚛️ https://culteducation.com/culteducation.html

-Joel Kramer and Diana Alstad’s “Guru Papers – Masks of Authoritarian Control” (a free PDF of the entire book): ⚛️ https://www.joeldiana.com/?page_id=8

Warmly…❣️🌷

-Leslie@integrityintruth.com

June 4, 2025May 19, 2026

The Mystery of Past Lives…

and the profound pointing of intuitive astrology in the understanding of Karmic SoulCycles

“We can’t really understand our place in the universe without grasping the principle of evolution over lifetimes.” ~Alan Leo

My story has been one of a lot of sacrifice in knowing things that I could not talk about. In this life it was the knowing of the lies and deceptions of non-dual teachers…teachers who then silenced me (under threat) and isolated me for a decade+ to ensure those lies would never become public knowledge. This effectively placed the entire burden for those deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family.

Would those lies, ultimately, become secrets that I keep forever, essentially, betraying my own life…and the lives of my family?

That was the single-most karmic lesson I had to answer in this life. And there was no other modality more helpful in digging myself out of this existential hole…a ‘grave’ that some have likened to a “Soul murder” akin to being “buried alive” resulting in what Carl Jung referred to as ‘Soul Fragmentation’…than intuitive astrology, otherwise known as Evolutionary Astrology.

Evolutionary Astrology has been attributed to both Steven Forrest and Jeffrey Wolf Green. Both have been deeply helpful on my journey. “We can’t make sense of the birth chart without giving credence to the conditions of prior lifetimes.” ~Steven Forrest (in interview with Chris Brennan on The Astrology Podcast: ⚛️ https://youtu.be/itkBygnVqtg?si=Zz11I5RNC82id5oc )

Before I go into a few details of the chart, there were a quite a few life circumstances, a few which I will describe, that point to prior lifetime(s) of spiritual suppression and oppression (and, possible, crucifixion). Intuiting that the birth chart represents the Soul’s navigating tool from that karma, the circumstances in this life pointed to a karmic SoulCycle recreating itself, in present-time, for the very purpose of resolve…should I ‘choose.’

Firstly…I am not an astrologer.

That said, and perhaps it was fate, I was extraordinarily blessed to have come in contact with a handful of intuitive astrologers who are deeply connected and ‘awake’ Cosmic readers. It is to these highly intuitive readers of the Cosmos that I am deeply indebted. I consider it a profound display of The-Grace-of-The-Universe that these astrologers crossed my path, at just the right moment.

It was the generosity of these connections, in combination with the modern-day astrology software, that enabled me to follow along with the intricate and complex language of the cosmos-in-motion and the connection of those planetary objects with the astrological map of my birth chart. Without these astrologers and the attending software, it would have been impossible.

As a young girl, in 2^nd-4^th grade there were profound spiritual experiences tied to a deep devotion to The Christ. This devotion, and full-on trust, was so deep that it would result in what is now commonly known as bliss, flow-states and experiences of manifestations. During this time, that devotion led me to attend church daily for several months after which I noticed certain disturbing inconguencies in what was being presented…even though the services were delivered in Latin!

Yet, it was never my family who placed such spirituality upon me. My mother was a divorced woman who had married my Catholic step-father. His roots were in a deeply religious family who were chased out of Austria by Hitler because his father was a religious writer. Because of their marriage my mother and step-father were essentially ex-communicated and, because of that, they never influenced me towards the church. In fact, my mother once exclaimed “If this is what your God is about, I want nothing to do with it (referring to the church).”

Thus, my experiences and participation in the church, at such a young age, were never due to a familial pressure or influence. The extraordinary pull was from some entirely different place.

Instead, it’s my feeling that my devotion to The Christ was from some ‘thing’…or some time…wholly different and un-nameable. That devotion would have HAD to have been from a prior lifetime.

This connection/devotion seemed to fade away as I entered middle and high-school, and although the manifestations continued I never thought they were out of the ordinary.

Fast forward to 1989 when I met non–dual teacher Nome. There was instant recognition, along with the perception of his occult powers (siddis), from day-one. These powers he rarely showed to others. My feeling, at the time, was that this was a teacher manifest similarly to what I had experienced as a young girl with The Christ.

Those who follow my posts know that I, ultimately, became the ‘holder’ for the lies of Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver…all ‘awake’ teachers looking to awaken others in this ‘Rush to Transcendence.’

(When shadow grows to God-like proportions and the Rush-to-Transcendence: ⚛️ https://integrityintruth.com/the-rush-to-transcendence/ )

There were several instances with these teachers that pointed to past lives. In a first private Nome stated, at the onset: “You are one blessed and graced individual.” I had no idea to what he was referencing.

Nome’s teaching was primarily one of renunciation and negation. ANY negation went entirely against everything I experienced as a young girl…where everything was included. Nothing was left out.

I expressed this to Nome in this private where he conceded and then said to “… welcome everything.” More importantly, he said I “must have renounced in a prior lifetime.” In the moment, that struck-a-deep-cord and made complete sense.

Throughout my 2-decade+ time with those teachers/teachings, the primary teaching was internal as I did not align with negation or renunciation of any kind.

Separately Russell, Nome’s brother, stopped me in the hallway near the SAT chai room and remarked upon my posture. I have slight kyphosis and scoliosis, which I never paid much attention to. He said this posture might be a response to a prior lifetime of shame and isolation. That, too, rang true.

Fast forward to somewhat more current times when, during “The Compression Years” (2013-2015), I would occasionally order a computerized astrological reading from the Steven Forrest website. I was always amazed at how accurate they were. It was during these years of deliberate isolation and silencing (under a death threat) that I could feel the truth…of even a report generated by the computer…as the geometry of the stars doesn’t lie.

(The ‘Compression Years’…of isolation and deliberate silencing (under a death threat) at the hands of non-dual teachers…in which Adyashanti played a key role: ⚛️ https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/ )

In 2016, I had a free 15 minute reading with intuitive astrologer Kristin Fontana. In that reading she said, from the get-go, that I had the same axis and houses which may have tied me to the time of The Christ…that I might have been there.

That, too, rang true.

Later, when I was deliberating deeply if-and-when-and-how I would release-the-information about the lies and deceptions that I had been forced (under threat) to hold Kristin suggested I meditate on the following profound question: “When you are no longer in the physical body, and you are looking back upon your life, what would your Soul have wanted you to do?”

That settled it.

In order to release and end this Soul Cycle…and free myself…I would have to regain my voice and exercise justice for myself, and my family.

As my understanding of astrology began to unfold for me…so, too, did the unfolding of my reporting on, not only, my former teachers but of the sweeping deception in the non-dual community that surrounded this “cosmic betrayal” – an apt description of sweeping betrayal by Matt Licata of what happened in this life.

(The Tangled Web of Deception: ⚛️ https://integrityintruth.com/the-tangled-web-of-deception/ )

“The principle of karma…extends lifetime-to-lifetime-to-lifetime…until we break the pattern. Your birth chart is your Soul’s lesson plan. Ergo, your birth chart represents everything ‘wrong’ with you… and how to fix it. There is humility…and the triumphant appearance of human potential.” ~Steven Forrest

I slowly began to understand some of the planetary influences…notably what played out with Pluto in Capricorn (top-down-authority) during the entire time I had been silenced since 2008. In my natal chart Pluto is in Leo 8^th house in strong opposition to my Sun at 15° Aquarius.

Additionally, there is a grand-cross in my natal chart with female spiritual warrior archetypes: Eris and Black Moon Lilith both in aspect, respectively, to my mid-heaven and ascendent…and in strong square to the electric Uranus.

As Astrologer Pam Gregory has stated regarding these female archetypes: “Eris fights against elitism, against deception…and against injustice. Just like Black Moon Lilith…she is unrelenting in doing that. She is the warrior sister of Mars and reflects tremendous beneficial purpose for the collective. ERIS archetype: goddess of discord…the female awakener. She gives not a jot for consequences! She’s about Truth, integrity and waking people up so their needs are being heard.”

Henry Seltzer, who has written a book on Eris, stated: “Mars fights because he wants to and Eris fights because she has to.” (It’s Henry’s TimePassages Astrology software that has been SO helpful: ⚛️ https://www.astrograph.com/astrology-software )

While all these astrologers were/are deeply helpful there were some astrologers who were obviously concerned that I would spill-the-beans regarding the deceptions of non-dual teachers. In my view, that is being loyal to a dogma…and not to the truth, and, certainly, not to the complete independence and lack-of-bias of The Cosmos.

Truth-is-not-Truth where there is a lack of integrity.

So my reporting began.

As I began to dig myself out of the existential controls-over this-life The Universe offered an intuitive astrologer who generously posted free weekly updates via podcast. This astrologer’s extraordinary cosmic read on the energies would literally walk me out-of-the-ground of having been “buried alive” (an accurate description). Her name is Molly McCord. She exhibited no such loyalty to non-dual teachers that I had intuited from several other astrologers but gave deeply intuitive reads on the Cosmic weather and how it supported our “Individuation” (a Jungian term) which I might have, previously-and-mistakenly, equated with ‘ego.’

For actual awakened freedom some people may need to diminish their ego…for others, they may need to build their ego up!

My Chiron (the wounded healer) is in the 1^st house challenging my right to even exist.

It was when I posted my birth chart for past-life suggestions that my Astrologer-Friend Shellie Enteen pointed out the South Node in my 9^th house. On, even, quick-glance she said the following about my birth chart:
“This is your birth chart. Looks like the Sag rising with Chiron conjunct is that the Part-of-Spirit near the Galactic Center would make you crusade for truth in this realm. Also, your chart ruler is Jupiter and conjunct Mars and the north node in the third house would suggest these communications about spiritual matters and something you might be angry (Mars) about that felt like victimization (Pisces). But that is the evolutionary direction, whereas the south node Virgo in the 9th was the old lives of giving into a restrictive dogma through a spiritual teacher. Also Saturn in Libra there suggests this is karma to clear.”

“The most important single contribution of twentieth-century astrology is that astrology is not a map of one’s fixed destiny but is a potential map of the unfolding of the authentic, higher self.” ~Robert Hand, from the foreword of Liz Greene’s Saturn: A New Look at an Old Devil. This would be the job of this lifetime: the profound healing of my Saturn.

Of course, there is no clear-cut textbook explanation, but what you intuitively feel when looking at your own chart. The entire chart is karmic!!

“This deeper kind of astrology is high voltage work . It may have been our fate to experience certain things, but it’s our freedom in how we process it internally.” ~Steven Forrest

“Energy is neither created nor destroyed.” ~Albert Einstein… describing a core principle of physics and, as it turns out, of our Soul.

An interesting short video on Origen’s radical teaching that the Soul existed before birth: Your Soul Always Existed…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzwenvGNzSU

Thank you for reading…and following my work. Please join me for a full journey of my life through the cult of non-duality at Integrity in Truth .

-Leslie Read

And on substack: ⚛️ https://substack.com/@leslieread/posts