Author: Leslie Read

Posted on

Patriarchal Neti-Neti: The Ultimate Tragedy of Dissociation & Spiritual Bypassing…

enabling abuse & control-over-others

From the very beginning, I was never down with ANY delineation of real-and-unreal, inside-and-outside… nor the elimination of such as: “you’re not the body, senses or mind;” the world is unreal; nothing-ever-happens (ajata) etc.

⚛️ Ajata and the wide-open-door-to-abuse: https://integrityintruth.com/ajata-and-the-wide-open-door-to-abuse/

WHY?

Firstly, it’s untrue.

Secondly, exactly who draws the line between real-and-unreal? And where do they draw it??

Thirdly, and perhaps the most important: in eliminating the body-senses-world you are eliminating the most efficacious routes to your true nature!!

As soon as anything is separated out from the Whole we are already skating-on-thin-ice. This is especially so if the renunciation is done at the bequest of spiritual leaders, as was the case in the ancient advaitic practice of renunciation known as Neti-Neti. This wholesale-elimination practice was adopted by many in the neo-Advaita space of contemporary non-duality…opening WIDE-the-door for harm, abuse and control-over-others.

Additionally, this wholesale renunciation led to sweeping judgements-of-others…literally, anyone who fell ‘outside’ the norms of such a rigid world-view. After 2 decades+ in such a dogmatic teaching I still, to this day, find myself pulling back from certain situations or thoughts or people as though some invisible line-in-the-sand exists…anywhere.

⚛️ Denial and the Duality-of-Non-duality: https://integrityintruth.com/denial-the-duality-of-non-duality/

In the early days following my arrival at SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth, Santa Cruz, CA) I was encouraged to renounce my family. (read that again!)

Historically, and with certain spiritual traditions, teachers have manipulated families-of-seekers in order to achieve certain spiritual goals.

In the early 90’s, renunciation and the path-of-siddas, became a ‘thing’ at SAT and the discourses were largely centered on the renunciation of everything…everything. The world, your body/senses/mind were ALL entirely “unreal.” And while the real meaning of “unreal” was understood to mean “not separate” it never-the-less led to the dangerous hypocrisy of the split-mind.

During one Satsang I raised my hand and asked point-blank: “Are we truly meant to be automatons??” My question was dismissed.

That teaching dismissed the very thing — our body – which is, ultimately, the most efficacious portal to Presence and transcendence (if transcendence is your goal). This transcendence-addicted approach was largely equated with spiritual evolution. Is true awakening really marked by transcendent states pervaded with bypassing, dissociation and spiritual materialism?

Is that what awakening is??

In an early private with Nome, I asked about this need to dismiss the entirety of our experience as “unreal” and stating how that did not resonate with my prior experience as a young girl. Surprisingly, Nome’s answer to me was “You must have renounced in a prior lifetime.” (From then on this devoted heart relied on the inner teaching and silence which was vastly different than what was being presented in the public talks. I would, later, be the scapegoat for those outer teachings that I never believed in).

⚛️ The Scapegoat Phenomenon…Involving Sensitive Souls and Empaths: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-scapegoat-phenomenon

⚛️ The Mystery of Past Lives: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-mystery-of-past-lives)

Nome’s answer certainly rang true, yet his current teaching should have been my indication that this was never meant to be my path where, ever since my childhood, everything was included. From a naturally devoted heart (likely from prior lifetimes) I would enter states of what is now commonly called ‘flow’ and ‘bliss.’ Yet, from the beginning, Nome was touted as the only ‘awake’ teacher in this country…and there was a deep heart connection from which his internal communication flowed.

Additionally, and as Russ pointed out, this renunciate approach was successfully taught within an airtight insularity that is often found in cults. While I believe this was never overtly felt by the members of SAT that control was/is very much the case. In SO many, if not ALL, ways…this deliberate separation can harm one for life.

No doubt the wholesale rejection-of-everything would spiritually justify Nome’s decision to, later, place an “auric block” in my field restricting relations – primarily intimate relationships – ensuring his lies and deceptions would never become public knowledge. That occult move would affect every area of this life: mental, emotional, spiritual, relational, financial – everything.

(Unmarried Woman by Wojtek Kowalski who does paintings from an ‘internal need.’This was the feeling of when an ‘auric block’ was deliberately placed in my field to prevent relations, primarily intimate ones, and the devastating effects on every.single.area.of this life…ALL because those teachers felt justified due to this un-natural separating-out from the Divine Order and the bypassing of such.)

While many of us never heard of the other contemporary non-dual teachers, as we were told Nome was the only realized teacher, when the mention of U. G. Krishnamurti came up Russ chimed-in with “How many people actually realize with such a non-teaching as Krishnamurti’s??”

U.G. was the Indian “anti-guru.”

Only recently, I watched a video where Facebook friend David Solomon, who was close to U.G. Krisnamurti, discussed U.G.’s basic approach in this way: “I don’t see UG as ever suggesting that we should ‘throw anything out.’ He was about accepting the world and ourselves exactly as we are…and in doing that, Life takes over and blossoms in its own natural Way. One’s own Life and what grows around that.

UG was not only staunchly promoting that everyone be themselves but recognizing all of Life around us has a right to be what IT is too. And to accept the Wisdom of our bodies, and accept the Wisdom of the natural world.”

It had always been my deep feeling that our body and, hence, the world was the most efficacious route to Freedom. So, it followed that all the talk of the body…the senses…and the world being unreal dragged any process of integration out for years, and, often, decades.

Not only was neti-neti inefficient and out-dated, it revealed so much of the utter hypocrisy of what radical non-duality actually is: the undeniable duality of non-duality.

⚛️ The Existential Danger of Radical Non-Duality: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-existential-danger-of-radical

“You know being around someone whose main objective in life was to NOT falsify himself…and doing his darndest to prevent us from doing that to ourselves. That’s just a Blessing… there is no explanation… I can’t imagine being any luckier than that.” ~David Solomon

Both the Krishnamurtis were against “A Way.” Every person had their own way.

The ‘way’ was about taking what comes one’s way in stride.

⚛️ The Case for Ultimate Independence:  https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-case-for-ultimate-independence

As Humans we live in this world…on this planet. Who, exactly, would draw any line and where would they draw it?

Jeff Brown said it fairly succinctly…and with a pardon for ALL the necessary f**k bombs…

Pamela Wilson (in the landmark book Ordinary Women, Extraordinary Wisdom, Spet. 28, 2007, by Rita Robinson) stated: “Not ‘neti-neti’ but ‘YES-i-YES-i’ ” A succinct statement revealing the subverted feminine-half of the spiritual journey and bringing it down to earth to embrace ALL of what it means to be Human. ❦

It’s my feeling that, at this point in our spiritual evolution, we are moving definitively away from any patriarchal paradigm and, perhaps, any need for an external teacher…and most certainly, away from the dogmatic approaches of many of them.

⚛️ The Ultimate Demise of Fundamentalist Spirituality…The Arrogance of Superiority: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-ultimate-demise-of-fundamentalist

There is no doubt that this life was/is arguably one of most disturbingly and existentially harmed (aside from the insidious accounts of sexual abuse seen in cults such as the Osho cult) not only by my immediate teachers but by the sweeping collusion in the non-dual space by teachers looking to protect their meal-ticket of teaching.

⚛️ The following short recording (22 min.) details the occult controls over 4-generations of my family to which Rick Archer (Buddha at the Gas Pump) suggested I just ‘walk away’ primarily because he was covering for Adya’s brand: https://www.dropbox.com/…/Recording%208B%20…

For my Astro-nerd friends, perhaps this will be signified by the momentous move of Neptune into Aries for the 1st time in 160 years, where it will stay until 2039 and where it will conjunct Saturn at the very beginning of the entire zodiacal wheel…something that hasn’t happened for over 9,000 years…THIS is the day I am typing this.

☯️ everything is already Whole and One

☯️ No need to separate anything out or figure out what, when, and where, how, to separate it out.

☯️ …or worse, be told WHAT to separate out (recently I was told that ‘activism’ isn’t holy!)

If we cannot actively stand-up for our most cherished values, how can we really call ourselves “spiritual?”

Thank you for following my work (and it has been work) in digging myself out from having been silenced (under a death threat)…and way more…at the hands of non-dual teachers.

Warmly,

-Leslie @integrityintruth.com ❦

⚛️ Integrity in Truth:  https://www.integrityintruth.com

⚛️ And on Substack: https://substack.com/@leslieread/posts

I wish I had written the following poem…posted by Glenna Erickson Bain on FaceBook:

It’s All Real…All of it. 🌷

~A Poem by Jordan Bates

Family, friends, animals, people, bodies, Earth, music, art, trees, soil, sun.

It’s Real.

It’s not an illusion.

God is not “generating an illusion of a world.”

No, God is being the world.

The world is the literal concrete Body and Heart of God.

It’s all Real.

Non-duality can so easily be used as a means of hiding from this Realness.

By writing the world off as “illusion,” the throbbing, gushing Heart of the world is kept at arm’s length.

By repeatedly asserting that “it’s all unreal,” “it’s all meaningless,” “there’s no one here,” “there is no body,” “there is no world”…

A subtle closed-off-ness can be allowed to persist.

By dismissing this universe as a mere “hologram” or “video game” or “theatrical production” or “movie appearing on the projection screen of consciousness”…

The soft animal-body of this cuddly life can be unconsciously rejected.

One can secretly block oneself from really-truly-deeply-viscerally noticing that the One Poem is written in flesh and bone.

When bones break, it doesn’t feel like a simple reformatting of pixels in a hologram.

When parents weep over the dead body of an innocent child, only a voice of confusion and coldness would ask them why they are grieving the loss of an imaginary character.

They’re grieving the loss of God.

A once-in-existence expression of God.

They’re Real, and their grief is Real.

When they grieve, God grieves.

When we suffer, God suffers.

When we are tortured, God is tortured.

When we are burned at the stake, God is burned at the stake.

When we are raped, God is raped.

When we die a slow and frightening death in a hospital on a ventilator, God dies this same slow and frightening death.

God is not “hiding in the Absolute” in perpetual non-attached, pain-free peace.

No, God is our attachment.

God is our pain.

God is our fear.

And God is also Absolute peace.

God feels it all, for God is all of it.

All of it.

It’s all Real.

True enlightenment is not to escape the human experience.

It is to arrive fully in the human experience.

To land fully on Earth, with a wide-open heart, ready to feel it all and respond wisely and compassionately.

To dig one’s feet into the ancient soil of our Mother, feel her pulsing heartbeat, and know She is Real.

Know She is God.

Know that her children are God.

Know that you are here to Serve Her.

By being exactly who you are.

Living true.

Fully, bravely, with an open heart.

Amen. 🙏

Posted on

The Ultimate Demise of Fundamentalist Spirituality…

The Arrogance of Superiority

Hands-down, one of the stickiest issues for me in leaving the cult of radical non-duality was the one of superiority…and of barely being able to tolerate ‘others’ who were not anywhere near a similar path. The notion that we were the “chosen ones” had not only been a very large part of the unseen, subtle indoctrination but one that was, quite literally, embedded in my bones over the course of my 20+ years at SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth). This dynamic was not only endemic to this cult but is seen playing out, similarly, in much larger cults, such as the Osho cult. While certainly not stated out loud, it was deeply implied that we were ‘The Chosen Ones’…Narcissism at its height.

⚛️ The Cult of Radical Non-Duality: http://: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-cult-of-non-duality

One of the biggest…and most fraught…downfalls of such arrogance is that this worldview lays the perfect ground for the justification of lies-and-deceptions. The fact that Nome and Russell Smith were/are serial liars is well-known in the non-dual community. The entire set-up of the organizations at Nome and Sasvati’s SAT (Society of Abidance in Truth), Russell Smith and Helga Schleiter-Smith’s “Way of Sudden Awakening” and Candace O’Denver and Russell Smith’s “Great Freedom/Balanced View” were/are ALL based on lies, deceptions and emotional manipulations of their followers.

These types of tactics are, in no way, confined to these teachers but are part of a broad-based aspect of functioning within many fundamentalist groups. The fact that these groups were/are “non-dual” is NO exception to this destructive and coercive dynamic.

One of the truly sad aspects, within my own experience, is knowing that there are, still, people at SAT who are subject to this arrogance of manipulation…some who are the very people Nome set-out to help: the Indians. Questions during Satsang by those who have ‘awakened’ (according to Nome’s definition) are staged-and-repeated by those same people.

To this day non-duality is hailed as the equivalent to the Teachings of The Christ and The Buddha whose teachings involved so much more than mere non-duality. There is a very definitive sense of right-and-wrong and ethical standards.

Many non-dual teachers, such as Leonard Jacobson, actually advertise their programs on this false equivalency to the Teachings of The Christ…as did Nome and Russell Smith. I had to point out to Leonard on one such thread that The Christ nor The Buddha would have ever given a pass to such actions as described in this letter: ⚛️ ASI LETTER (Assoc. for Spiritual ‘Integrity’) 03/06/2023 at the end of which is a link to a short recording (22 min.) detailing the occult controls over 4-generations of my family… to which Rick Archer said to just “walk away”…https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0&e=1&fbclid=IwAR2hNCDCiHgzRQrXqce9WFFH5vgHGHoGlda3PUlGKT2n1qMuoFfoMadMbvs

The HUMAN side of this is that 4-generations of my family were involved in the fallout from the sweeping deceptions of these teachers. We’ve all seen that one can be awake to Wholeness and yet that, in no way, means one is free from shadow or is somehow a balanced and decent human.

When there is the arrogance of superiority there is no room for discussion.

“Non-duality has LONG had within its approach the trap of just another superiority view of “spirituality/being-ness.” Any “superior” approach, whether it’s Christian, non-dual, Buddhist, Hindi, Muslim, atheist, etc. has already chosen a slippery slope practice, and invites the opportunity for exploitation, control, judgement, and exclusion. If one hasn’t processed and cleared out their subconscious “psychological basement” of cultural, religious, and familial fear-based and limiting beliefs, one will be susceptible to being controlled or capable of being controlled by a variety of “monsters” in various religious, monastic, or political garb.” ~Judith Froemming

While I absolutely agree with Judith’s statement there are many who become entangled due to the unseen-and-controlling mis-use of siddis (occult powers) which so easily mimic The Divine. This was most certainly the case at SAT. One could have cleared out their “psychological basement” all they want and still get entangled with these unseen forces.

Mere non-duality is just that: it is wholeness. In the words of FaceBook friend Kim Rome referring to my description of ‘awake’ non-dual teachers she responded : “They are not awake. They are living in a transcendent reality that is marked by spiritual materialism and bypassing.”
The depth of this statement is deeply profound.

⚛️ The Rush to Transcendence…and the existential consequences: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-rush-to-transcendence

In many, if not ALL, ways…the teaching of non-duality is a teaching on self-betrayal.

In the Universal, on-going, law of as-above-so-below we are seeing play-out the arrogant superiority of fundamentalist, white Christian nationalism. So-much-so that the crosses being worn by all those in the Trump administration are beginning to burn-the-skin of those who wear them with the growing reveal of criminality, in many forms, but in a form most heinous: the cover-up of global child sex trafficking. Possibly the largest cover-up in the world of sex crime. ALL this emanating from the white, fundamentalist Christianity as spelled-out, in its entirety, in the document: Project 2025 and carried out by the man-behind-the-curtain and architect of the diabolical family separations: Stephen Miller. (link below).

⚛️https://static.heritage.org/project2025/2025_MandateForLeadership_FULL.pdf

⚛️ A Message on Our Core Values: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/a-message-on-our-core-values

As with all forms of superiority this, too, will crumble under its own weight…as we are beginning to see with our own eyes.

Thank you for following my work. 🙏

Please feel free to contact me with any questions or comments. ❣️🌷

Warmly,

-Leslie@ integrityintruth.com

⚛️ www.integrityintruth.com

⚛️ https://leslieread.substack.com/publish/posts/publish


The statement below accurately sums up the absolutist teachings of Nome, dismissing our Humanity as essentially unreal, where ANY action…even actions of criminality…will be covered-for by the fundamentalism of his teachings…until they aren’t!

Posted on

The Scapegoat Phenomenon…

Involving Sensitive Souls and Empaths

“When someone’s shadow is reflected back through another person’s clear perception, the unconscious mind has two choices: integrate the shadow or attack the mirror. Jung documented this pattern repeatedly in his clinical work. The person who sees clearly gets blamed for creating the problems they’re merely observing.“ ~Carl Jung

This creates what Jung called the “scapegoat phenomenon.” In the case here…I was observing the lies and deceptions of non-dual teachers, which I was giving-a-pass to in the name of spiritual ‘evolution’ and ‘Freedom.’

“Highly perceptive individuals often become the designated problem in every group they enter, not because they cause problems, but because they reveal problems that already exist in the collective unconscious. Jung observed: “The bearer of superior perception becomes the repository for all that the group cannot consciously acknowledge about itself. This pattern explains why these individuals don’t just feel misunderstood, they feel systematically targeted by a force they can’t rationally explain.” ~Carl Jung

In the most recent months of my healing journey, piecing back together the “Soul fragmentation” that was a result of having been silenced (under a death threat) and isolated…forced to carry the deceptions of non-dual teachers…it was the Jungian teachings that provided some of the deepest and clearest answers as to “why?”

The following piece describes to a “T” what I experienced at SAT (The Society of Abidance in Truth) and the resultant, deliberate ‘character assassination’ (what some have called a “Soul murder”) at the hands of Nome when non-dual teachers made the deliberate decision to place the entire burden for their lies and deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family.

⚛️ Character Assassination: https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/character-assassination/

⚛️ The Tangled Web of Deception: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-tangled-web-of-deception

⚛️ The Cult of Radical Non-Duality:https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-cult-of-non-duality

⚛️ The Mystery of Past Lives: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-mystery-of-past-lives

⚛️ A Message on Our Core Values: As-Above-So-Below: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/a-message-on-our-core-values

⚛️ The Existential Danger of Radical Non-Duality: https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-existential-danger-of-radical

-Gratitude Carl Jung, Peter Brouwer and Caravaggio Bolo, via Facebook, for the following text excerpt.

Jung’s most dangerous discovery wasn’t about mental illness. It was about people who see everything others miss, and why this ability destroys them. In his clinical practice, Jung documented patients with what he called “differentiated perception.”

Individuals who could read micro-expressions, sense hidden emotions, and perceive psychological patterns that escaped everyone else. They saw through social masks, detected lies instantly, and felt the unconscious tensions in every room. Jung called this discovery “dangerous” because these people consistently ended up isolated, exhausted, and unable to maintain normal relationships.

Not because they were unstable, but because seeing everything came with a psychological cost no one understood. Today, I’ll show you Jung’s most dangerous discovery about people who see everything, and why he believed this rare ability either destroys you or transforms you into something extraordinary. The case that revealed Jung’s most dangerous discovery began with a patient he described in his private notes.

A highly introverted intuitive type who came to him in 1913 during Jung’s own psychological crisis following his break with Freud. This patient, representing what Jung would later categorize as the rarest personality type, possessed what he called “undifferentiated intuitive perception”.

She could walk into any room and immediately sense the psychological atmosphere: who was lying, who was in emotional pain, who harbored secret resentments. Jung wrote: “The patient displays an extraordinary capacity for perceiving unconscious contents in others, but this faculty appears to cause her considerable distress rather than advantage. She couldn’t engage in small talk because she saw through every social facade.

She couldn’t maintain friendships because people felt exposed and uncomfortable around her. She couldn’t hold employment because her presence disrupted the collective unconscious agreements that keep groups functioning. Jung realized he wasn’t treating pathology. He was observing what happens when the unconscious becomes too conscious, when perception becomes too differentiated for social survival. He documented her describing people with startling accuracy.

She speaks of others as if she has access to their private thoughts and hidden motivations. When I verify her observations through careful questioning, they prove remarkably accurate. This wasn’t psychosis or delusion. This was consciousness so advanced it had become socially dangerous. But Jung discovered something even more disturbing.

Because this patient’s extraordinary perception seemed impossible to explain, therefore Jung began investigating what he would later term “participation mystique”, the psychological phenomenon where individuals with highly differentiated intuition become overwhelmed by unconscious contents from others. Jung wrote in his Red Book period notes:

There are those among us whose psychic apparatus is so finely tuned that they absorb not merely conscious communications, but the entire unconscious atmosphere of their environment. Modern research by Dr. Elaine Aron on highly sensitive persons validates Jung’s early observations. Her research shows that roughly 20% of people have heightened sensory and emotional sensitivity.

But Jung identified something more specific within his psychological typology: the introverted intuitive type, comprising roughly 1% of the population, who don’t just feel deeply, but perceive unconscious patterns with startling clarity. Jung observed that these individuals have what he called “differentiated intuitive function”,

Their brains process not just obvious social cues, but unconscious emotional states, repressed content, and psychological patterns that others cannot detect. They see the depression behind forced smiles. They sense the desperation beneath confident presentations. They feel the collective shadow that groups unconsciously agree to ignore. Jung wrote: “The danger lies not in the perception itself, but in the psychic isolation it creates.

When one sees clearly what others cannot or will not see, one becomes a mirror that society cannot bear to look into. This creates what Jung called “the problem of the superior function”, when your greatest strength becomes your greatest burden because it separates you from collective unconscious participation. But Jung discovered the real danger wasn’t the perception itself,

Jung wrote in “Psychology of the Unconscious”:

Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent. But he discovered this principle extended to all relationships. When someone’s shadow is reflected back through another person’s clear perception, the unconscious mind has two choices: integrate the shadow or attack the mirror. Jung documented this pattern repeatedly in his clinical work.

The person who sees clearly gets blamed for creating the problems they’re merely observing. His patients with differentiated intuition experience this constantly. When they would gently suggest that someone seemed troubled, that person would explode at them for being negative or creating drama. When they’d express concern about obvious problems, they’d be accused of being judgmental or manufacturing issues where none existed.

Jung realized this wasn’t coincidence, it was psychological defense. In “Memories, Dreams, Reflections” he wrote: “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. But for most people, it’s easier to attack the person reflecting their shadow than to examine what’s being reflected. This creates what Jung called the scapegoat phenomenon.”

Highly perceptive individuals often become the designated problem in every group they enter, not because they cause problems, but because they reveal problems that already exist in the collective unconscious. Jung observed: “The bearer of superior perception becomes the repository for all that the group cannot consciously acknowledge about itself.”

This pattern explains why these individuals don’t just feel misunderstood, they feel systematically targeted by a force they can’t rationally explain. But Jung’s most disturbing discovery was still to come, because Jung observed that overwhelming perception manifested differently in different individuals. Therefore, he identified four distinct patterns within the introverted intuitive type, each representing a different way of processing unconscious contents from others.

For this complete article please refer to my note over on Substack by the same title: ⚛️ The Scapegoat Phenomenon…Involving Sensitive Souls and Empaths. https://leslieread.substack.com/p/the-scapegoat-phenomenon

Thank you for following my work in the unfolding of a complex karmic SoulCycle. It is my hope that these writings benefit you on your journey. Please feel to write me with any comments and/or questions. ❣️🙏🌷

Warmly,

-Leslie@integrityintruth.com

Posted on

The Cult of Radical Non-Duality…as found in neo-advaita, ACIM etc.

Simply put, a cult is a person and/or organization ensuring abject control over its members thru a variety of means. It has been widely touted that intelligent people would never end-up in such situations… yet, some of the most intelligent folks certainly got ensnared in the Osho cult as well as the cult I was involved with for well over 2-decades.

“A cult is a group, religious organization or family structure of any size led by a charismatic leader. Cults control their members through manipulation, abuse, and coercion. These groups feature transcendent belief systems, and create self-sealing systems from which followers find it difficult to escape.” ~Lalich Center on Cults and Coercion

My time at SAT (the Society of Abidance in ‘Truth’) spanned over 2-decades beginning in late 1989.  During that time I would have never considered the teachings of non-duality, as presented by Nome and Russell Smith, to be a cult. THAT …was/is precisely how insular SAT is.

Let me explain….

Somewhat similar to Donald Trump saying exactly what he is going to do (as-above-so-below) Russell Smith actually exclaimed, one day, for all of us to hear: “Cultic tactics actually work!”  

That should have been the obvious-and-decisive indicator for me to leave…immediately.

Yet…what over-road even such an outrageous exclamation were the underlying, unseen high-level occult practices of a siddha…in this case Nome. As a siddha, Nome had/has access to occult powers (siddis)…which can literally do anything.
It was this, plus the fact that Nome knew-that-I-knew of his lies and was seemingly helping me in the silent background (THAT is a whole other story!).

While a true Siddha rarely shows these to his/her followers my experience was the perception of MANY siddis with this teacher. So many, I almost wrote a book about them as they were often hilarious and, by-far, most were benevolent and helpful in the earlier years of my highly-devoted practice.

Those siddis were helpful until Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi and many other non-dual teachers in their orbit made the decision to place the entire burden for their lies and deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family.

It was then that those siddis (occult powers) turned deeply malevolent and controlling over every.single.aspect.of.this.life. Those siddis were SO controlling that someone described my situation as a “Soul murder” akin to being “buried alive.” Those are excruciatingly accurate descriptions.

An apt quote from Andrew Harvey on contemporary spiritual teachers:

“It is my belief that 90 percent of the so-called masters in the modern world are not enlightened at all but are in fact occult magicians. The occult magician will use his or her occult powers to ensnare the devotee in a posture of adoration by feeding them visionary experiences, which may seem to open things up for the devotee but actually keeps one dependent on the guru. It’s a kind of drug pushing as dangerous on the spiritual level as cocaine or heroin is on the physical. Because people don’t know the difference between the divine and the occult, nor how accurately the occult can mimic the divine, nor how easily occult powers can be cultivated by the unscrupulous and ambitious. They take these powers and experiences to be unmistakable signs of divine presence and go on worshipping as divine these people who have, in fact, shown that they are neither good, nor kind, nor humble, nor generous.” ~Andrew Harvey

The lies I was forced (under a death threat) to hold were in regard to the supposed split of the Smith brothers (Nome and Russell) and Russell’s development of Great Freedom/Balanced View with Candace O’Denver. While I never met Candace in person, nor visited her center, I had a reluctant meeting in 2016/17 with Kevin Corlette and Britt Posmer who had just finished a visit to ‘Great Freedom.’ In that meeting I asked what that center was like. Hesitatingly, Kevin stated (paraphrasing) it was “Far too controlling for his liking.” Alternatively, Britt mentioned to stay dedicated to a root Guru. My intuitive sense, in that moment, was that she was indicating for me to stay silent. Coming from Britt, who I greatly admired, this statement actually kept me silent for another couple years.

The teachings of Nome, Russell Smith/Candace O’Denver, etc. grew-up out of the morally corrupt neo-advaita teachings of, primarily, Osho Rajneesh but may have, also, been influenced by Adi Da (who goes by a variety of names stemming from Franklin Jones), Mooji etc. Osho’s entire cult is wrapped in the mesmerizing, albeit beautiful, musical culture of Deva Premal and Miten occasionally accompanied by Manose (Miten and Manose have their own reported sexual exploits).

The following is an important comment by Jeffrey Wolf Green (founder of Evolutionary Astrology) on the spiritual evolution of Osho. I feel it applies equally to Nome, Russell Smith, Candace O’ Denver, Adyashanti, Gangaji, Jeannie Zandi, Byron Katie and many other currently acting non-dual teachers:

“Rajneesh experienced a fall from Grace, because of intense, spiritual delusions of grandeur, and a secret egocentric agenda that pointed the way to himself as the vehicle to salvation. Since he was exposed as a fraud who perverted natural laws because of his own self-interest, we now know that he was really here to fulfill his own soul’s evolutionary intentions. There was a huge emphasis on paying his Saturnian Karmic dues (Saturn exactly opposite Pluto), and having to learn some very harsh lessons around maturity, cooperation, and taking personal responsibility for the consequences of his actions/choices: hence, the massive fall from Grace that was as an evolutionarily necessity. As the mask was finally removed, and his living-a-lie exposed as fraudulent, Pluto, his own soul, would reveal the truth that was not in harmony with natural law, and eliminate (Pluto), the false doctrines to reveal the truth of his deception to the world. The deception was that he had created teachings of the natural truth, but in truth had lured his followers through a sexual vibration, not a spiritual one. Rajneesh was a sexually realized guru, not a God realized one.” (Page 149 of 538 of Neptune: Whispers from Eternity by Jeffrey Wolf Green)

This KEY statement in the above paragraph: “The deception was that he had created teachings of the natural truth, but in truth had lured his followers through a sexual vibration, not a spiritual one. Rajneesh was a sexually realized guru, not a God realized one…”

The above statement is one that accurately describes Nome, Adi Da, Mooji, Candace O’Denver, Amma (the hugging ‘Saint’) and so many other currently acting non-dual teachers…including the teachings of ACIM (A Course in Miracles). They are not God realized.

As sexually realized gurus…the use of sex… including the sexual abuse of under-age girls in the ashrams…is now coming to light as seen in the various reports of the children, now grown women, who grew up in those cults.

As reports have it, by the time I arrived at SAT in 1989, many of the sexual exploits had been “cleaned up.”

As many were/are awakening to the ‘natural truth’ of wholeness…by whatever means: NDE’s (near death experiences), their own attention or thru the current non-dual teachers…people began hanging-out their signs in the hopes for the often-lucrative teaching of non-duality which…to this day…is hyped as the equivalent of the teaching of The Christ and The Buddha…which they clearly are not.

The real danger is in the declaration, and false claim, that this non-dual ‘realization’ was THE actual ‘awakened spirituality.’

This false equivalent is further explored here: Nihilistic, Radical Non-Duality and ACIM…are NOT the Equivalent of Spirituality: ⚛️ https://integrityintruth.com/radical-non-duality-and-acim-are-not-the-equivalent-of-spirituality/

Facebook Friend David Bingham accurately describes the teachers of neo-advaita:

“…in this modern age the Neo-Advaitan tradition of the truth existing ultimately in the sphere of the non-dual (which is followed by so many, with so many esteemed teachers) is a deeply flawed model of understanding of the nature of the human condition and its relationship with the Infinite.   It is a form of understanding which has an in-built tendency to deeply exacerbate illusions concerning the experiences of life and in turn to generate rigidities around its interpretation.  In doing so it has great potential to be harmful to the fundamental well-being of its adherents, all the more so because it dresses itself in the clothes of liberation. It is a false and incomplete freedom of the age.”

Moral-and-just, neo-advaita is NOT. The old patriarchal paradigm of abuse and control-over-others to ‘free’ people from their attachments to a ‘world’…takes the approach straight-out of the ancient Rumi (among others) play-book: “Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field…I will meet you there.” These teachers literally felt that right-and-wrong – and KARMA – did not apply to them in their transcendent selves.

The Precipitous Dynamic…of imposed suffering, control, subservience and constriction as mechanisms to ‘trigger’ awakening: ⚛️ https://integrityintruth.com/the-precipitous-dynamicof-imposed-suffering-control-subservience-and-constriction-as-mechanisms-to-trigger-awakening/

“The paradox is that the character/ego persona of even the awakened Self still goes thru its cause and effect as long as it dons a physical body – that’s why masters fall ill or lose someone etc – but as awakened Self they are wholly detached from the role….thus its effects don’t affect them! Thus no-me no karma!  But cause and effect IS; it’s like a board game on which the cosmic play plays out!” ~Divyaa Kumar

The teachings of neo-advaita/non-duality were/are completely devoid of the ethical integrity that is the Hallmark of true Spirituality.

Leonard Jacobson, as well as many others, actually marketed their teachings as the equivalent of the teachings of The Christ and The Buddha!

Instead of the altruism of genuine Spirituality we have the arrogance of such closed systems looking to preserve the non-dual brand (and their view of what ‘awakening’ is) and the brands of various non-dual teachers such as:

-SAND (Science & Non-Duality)

-Rick Archer’s BatGap (Buddha at the Gas Pump)

-The relatively new association of supposed over-sight: the ASI (Association of Spiritual Integrity) co-founded by Rick Archer and Jac O’Keeffe shortly after I began reporting on this website: ⚛️ https://www.integrityintruth.com

Some have said I am “anti-teacher.” This is not entirely an accurate statement yet, at this point, it is mostly true. As with any system, there are some who are far more dangerous than others…and the scary paradox is that those who may appear the most credible can, also, be the most dangerous.

I now feel that the risk of associating with any given teacher is far greater than, certainly, our own ever-present-and-direct line to God, Source, Spirit, whatever name feels right-and-true for you… and that that Line is ever pure and undefiled by corruption and control.

In the words of Ken Wilber: “Unless you are on a path that includes not only ‘waking up’…but ’growing-up’ AND ‘cleaning-up’…all 3-in-one package…you are going to get f**ked!! You WILL end up in a bad, bad way because one of these is going to go sour. That is THE major, unfortunate, path that the majority of people end up taking… and they end up wasting a life. Samadhi does not, of course, address (ANY) shadow elements…in some cases it makes it *worse* as there is pure dis-identification.”

⚛️ The Existential Dangers of Pure Dis-Identification: https://integrityintruth.com/the-existential-dangers-of-pure-dis-identification/

Looking back, the characteristics the cult at SAT included the following:

-an airtight insularity and airtight secrecy

-the cutting off of anything worldly…the duality-of-non-duality

-strict dictates of dress and actions

-an efficient money-making organization (including the concept of tithing and loan ‘forgiveness’) and assigning your will to SAT as recipient

-an extensive web of lies and deceptions

-cutting people off from their families and friends

-extensive ‘love-bombing’ by those in the non-dual community looking to keep the deceptions I was forced to hold from ever becoming public knowledge.

-using the teachings themselves to gaslight the one who might report on the harm

– polarized, us-versus-them mentality…mirroring the utter duality of non-duality

-an exalted and arrogant status of, not only the teacher, but of its members

-immense control over your time in the forms of service

-pitting some people against others in the group…in the olden days it would be women competing with other women…a sad aspect of the patriarchy

-manipulation of how the group is perceived through publications etc.

-the use of (and threats by) mostly unseen-and-unknown siddis (occult powers)

-reliance on and alignment with traditional spiritual texts and historical Saints and figures

-collusion with other non-dual teachers

-little to no disagreement with the main teacher(s)

-deference to the teacher

Thank you for following my work. Please leave me a comment if you have ever experienced similar or are currently with a group…and, always, if you have any questions and/or comments..

For hotline resources please visit:

-Steven Hassan’s Bite Model of Authoritarian Control: ⚛️ https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model-pdf-download/

-The Lalich Center: ⚛️ https://www.lalichcenter.org/resources-what-is-a-cult

-Rick Ross’s Cult Education Institute: ⚛️ https://culteducation.com/culteducation.html

-Joel Kramer and Diana Alstad’s “Guru Papers – Masks of Authoritarian Control” (a free PDF of the entire book): ⚛️ https://www.joeldiana.com/?page_id=8

Warmly…❣️🌷

-Leslie@integrityintruth.com

Posted on

The Mystery of Past Lives…

and the profound pointing of intuitive astrology in the understanding of Karmic SoulCycles

“We can’t really understand our place in the universe without grasping the principle of evolution over lifetimes.” ~Alan Leo

My story has been one of a lot of sacrifice in knowing things that I could not talk about. In this life it was the knowing of the lies and deceptions of non-dual teachers…teachers who then silenced me (under threat) and isolated me for a decade+ to ensure those lies would never become public knowledge. This effectively placed the entire burden for those deceptions on these shoulders…and the shoulders of my family.

Would those lies, ultimately, become secrets that I keep forever, essentially, betraying my own life…and the lives of my family?

That was the single-most karmic lesson I had to answer in this life. And there was no other modality more helpful in digging myself out of this existential hole…a ‘grave’ that some have likened to a “Soul murder” akin to being “buried alive” resulting in what Carl Jung referred to as ‘Soul Fragmentation’…than intuitive astrology, otherwise known as Evolutionary Astrology.

Evolutionary Astrology has been attributed to both Steven Forrest and Jeffrey Wolf Green. Both have been deeply helpful on my journey. “We can’t make sense of the birth chart without giving credence to the conditions of prior lifetimes.” ~Steven Forrest (in interview with Chris Brennan on The Astrology Podcast: ⚛️ https://youtu.be/itkBygnVqtg?si=Zz11I5RNC82id5oc )

Before I go into a few details of the chart, there were a quite a few life circumstances, a few which I will describe, that point to prior lifetime(s) of spiritual suppression and oppression (and, possible, crucifixion). Intuiting that the birth chart represents the Soul’s navigating tool from that karma, the circumstances in this life pointed to a karmic SoulCycle recreating itself, in present-time, for the very purpose of resolve…should I ‘choose.’

Firstly…I am not an astrologer.

That said, and perhaps it was fate, I was extraordinarily blessed to have come in contact with a handful of intuitive astrologers who are deeply connected and ‘awake’ Cosmic readers. It is to these highly intuitive readers of the Cosmos that I am deeply indebted. I consider it a profound display of The-Grace-of-The-Universe that these astrologers crossed my path, at just the right moment.

It was the generosity of these connections, in combination with the modern-day astrology software, that enabled me to follow along with the intricate and complex language of the cosmos-in-motion and the connection of those planetary objects with the astrological map of my birth chart. Without these astrologers and the attending software, it would have been impossible.

As a young girl, in 2nd-4th grade there were profound spiritual experiences tied to a deep devotion to The Christ. This devotion, and full-on trust, was so deep that it would result in what is now commonly known as bliss, flow-states and experiences of manifestations. During this time, that devotion led me to attend church daily for several months after which I noticed certain disturbing inconguencies in what was being presented…even though the services were delivered in Latin!

Yet, it was never my family who placed such spirituality upon me. My mother was a divorced woman who had married my Catholic step-father. His roots were in a deeply religious family who were chased out of Austria by Hitler because his father was a religious writer. Because of their marriage my mother and step-father were essentially ex-communicated and, because of that, they never influenced me towards the church. In fact, my mother once exclaimed “If this is what your God is about, I want nothing to do with it (referring to the church).”

Thus, my experiences and participation in the church, at such a young age, were never due to a familial pressure or influence. The extraordinary pull was from some entirely different place.

Instead, it’s my feeling that my devotion to The Christ was from some ‘thing’…or some time…wholly different and un-nameable. That devotion would have HAD to have been from a prior lifetime.

This connection/devotion seemed to fade away as I entered middle and high-school, and although the manifestations continued I never thought they were out of the ordinary.

Fast forward to 1989 when I met non–dual teacher Nome. There was instant recognition, along with the perception of his occult powers (siddis), from day-one. These powers he rarely showed to others. My feeling, at the time, was that this was a teacher manifest similarly to what I had experienced as a young girl with The Christ.

Those who follow my posts know that I, ultimately, became the ‘holder’ for the lies of Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver…all ‘awake’ teachers looking to awaken others in this ‘Rush to Transcendence.’

(When shadow grows to God-like proportions and the Rush-to-Transcendence: ⚛️ https://integrityintruth.com/the-rush-to-transcendence/ )

There were several instances with these teachers that pointed to past lives. In a first private Nome stated, at the onset: “You are one blessed and graced individual.” I had no idea to what he was referencing.

Nome’s teaching was primarily one of renunciation and negation. ANY negation went entirely against everything I experienced as a young girl…where everything was included. Nothing was left out.

I expressed this to Nome in this private where he conceded and then said to “… welcome everything.” More importantly, he said I “must have renounced in a prior lifetime.” In the moment, that struck-a-deep-cord and made complete sense.

Throughout my 2-decade+ time with those teachers/teachings, the primary teaching was internal as I did not align with negation or renunciation of any kind.

Separately Russell, Nome’s brother, stopped me in the hallway near the SAT chai room and remarked upon my posture. I have slight kyphosis and scoliosis, which I never paid much attention to. He said this posture might be a response to a prior lifetime of shame and isolation. That, too, rang true.

Fast forward to somewhat more current times when, during “The Compression Years” (2013-2015), I would occasionally order a computerized astrological reading from the Steven Forrest website. I was always amazed at how accurate they were. It was during these years of deliberate isolation and silencing (under a death threat) that I could feel the truth…of even a report generated by the computer…as the geometry of the stars doesn’t lie.

(The ‘Compression Years’…of isolation and deliberate silencing (under a death threat) at the hands of non-dual teachers…in which Adyashanti played a key role: ⚛️ https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/ )

In 2016, I had a free 15 minute reading with intuitive astrologer Kristin Fontana. In that reading she said, from the get-go, that I had the same axis and houses which may have tied me to the time of The Christ…that I might have been there.

That, too, rang true.

Later, when I was deliberating deeply if-and-when-and-how I would release-the-information about the lies and deceptions that I had been forced (under threat) to hold Kristin suggested I meditate on the following profound question: “When you are no longer in the physical body, and you are looking back upon your life, what would your Soul have wanted you to do?”

That settled it.

In order to release and end this Soul Cycle…and free myself…I would have to regain my voice and exercise justice for myself, and my family.

As my understanding of astrology began to unfold for me…so, too, did the unfolding of my reporting on, not only, my former teachers but of the sweeping deception in the non-dual community that surrounded this “cosmic betrayal” – an apt description of sweeping betrayal by Matt Licata of what happened in this life.

(The Tangled Web of Deception: ⚛️ https://integrityintruth.com/the-tangled-web-of-deception/ )

“The principle of karma…extends lifetime-to-lifetime-to-lifetime…until we break the pattern. Your birth chart is your Soul’s lesson plan. Ergo, your birth chart represents everything ‘wrong’ with you… and how to fix it. There is humility…and the triumphant appearance of human potential.” ~Steven Forrest

I slowly began to understand some of the planetary influences…notably what played out with Pluto in Capricorn (top-down-authority) during the entire time I had been silenced since 2008. In my natal chart Pluto is in Leo 8th house in strong opposition to my Sun at 15° Aquarius.

Additionally, there is a grand-cross in my natal chart with female spiritual warrior archetypes: Eris and Black Moon Lilith both in aspect, respectively, to my mid-heaven and ascendent…and in strong square to the electric Uranus.

As Astrologer Pam Gregory has stated regarding these female archetypes: “Eris fights against elitism, against deception…and against injustice. Just like Black Moon Lilith…she is unrelenting in doing that. She is the warrior sister of Mars and reflects tremendous beneficial purpose for the collective. ERIS archetype: goddess of discord…the female awakener. She gives not a jot for consequences! She’s about Truth, integrity and waking people up so their needs are being heard.”

Henry Seltzer, who has written a book on Eris, stated: “Mars fights because he wants to and Eris fights because she has to.” (It’s Henry’s TimePassages Astrology software that has been SO helpful: ⚛️ https://www.astrograph.com/astrology-software )

While all these astrologers were/are deeply helpful there were some astrologers who were obviously concerned that I would spill-the-beans regarding the deceptions of non-dual teachers. In my view, that is being loyal to a dogma…and not to the truth, and, certainly, not to the complete independence and lack-of-bias of The Cosmos.

Truth-is-not-Truth where there is a lack of integrity.

So my reporting began.

As I began to dig myself out of the existential controls-over this-life The Universe offered an intuitive astrologer who generously posted free weekly updates via podcast. This astrologer’s extraordinary cosmic read on the energies would literally walk me out-of-the-ground of having been “buried alive” (an accurate description). Her name is Molly McCord. She exhibited no such loyalty to non-dual teachers that I had intuited from several other astrologers but gave deeply intuitive reads on the Cosmic weather and how it supported our “Individuation” (a Jungian term) which I might have, previously-and-mistakenly, equated with ‘ego.’

For actual awakened freedom some people may need to diminish their ego…for others, they may need to build their ego up!

My Chiron (the wounded healer) is in the 1st house challenging my right to even exist.

It was when I posted my birth chart for past-life suggestions that my Astrologer-Friend Shellie Enteen pointed out the South Node in my 9th house. On, even, quick-glance she said the following about my birth chart:
“This is your birth chart. Looks like the Sag rising with Chiron conjunct is that the Part-of-Spirit near the Galactic Center would make you crusade for truth in this realm. Also, your chart ruler is Jupiter and conjunct Mars and the north node in the third house would suggest these communications about spiritual matters and something you might be angry (Mars) about that felt like victimization (Pisces). But that is the evolutionary direction, whereas the south node Virgo in the 9th was the old lives of giving into a restrictive dogma through a spiritual teacher. Also Saturn in Libra there suggests this is karma to clear.”

“The most important single contribution of twentieth-century astrology is that astrology is not a map of one’s fixed destiny but is a potential map of the unfolding of the authentic, higher self.” ~Robert Hand, from the foreword of Liz Greene’s Saturn: A New Look at an Old Devil. This would be the job of this lifetime: the profound healing of my Saturn.

Of course, there is no clear-cut textbook explanation, but what you intuitively feel when looking at your own chart. The entire chart is karmic!!

“This deeper kind of astrology is high voltage work . It may have been our fate to experience certain things, but it’s our freedom in how we process it internally.” ~Steven Forrest

“Energy is neither created nor destroyed.” ~Albert Einstein… describing a core principle of physics and, as it turns out, of our Soul.

An interesting short video on Origen’s radical teaching that the Soul existed before birth: Your Soul Always Existed…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzwenvGNzSU

Thank you for reading…and following my work. Please join me for a full journey of my life through the cult of non-duality at Integrity in Truth .

-Leslie Read

And on substack: ⚛️ https://substack.com/@leslieread/posts

Posted on

Nihilistic Radical Non-Duality and ACIM…are NOT the Equivalent of Spirituality

Many contemporary non-dual teachers equate radical non-duality with highest Spirituality.

Not true.

Radical non-duality is NOT the equivalent of ‘God’ nor of true Spirituality.

Non-duality is an aspect of such. But NOT the entirety.

True Spirituality —The Christ or The Buddha — would never negate the Human nor would they manipulate and control:

The Dogma of Patriarchal Control & Occult Manipulation:⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-dogma-of-patriarchal-control/

Letter to the ASI (Association for Spiritual ‘Integrity’):⚛️https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0&e=1&fbclid=IwAR2hNCDCiHgzRQrXqce9WFFH5vgHGHoGlda3PUlGKT2n1qMuoFfoMadMbvs

ACIM and radical non-duality (Neo-Advaita) are cut from the same cloth. These are teachings which negate the Human as ‘unreal’…leaving infinite space for all manner of harm, control and manipulation… not to mention the hidden use of the occult (siddis.)

The Existential Danger of Radical Non-Duality:⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/the-existential-danger-of-radical-non-duality/

Andrew LeCompte talks of his experiences in ACIM (A Course in Miracles) on the cult-reporting program ‘A Little Bit Culty:’⚛️https://alittlebitculty.com/episode/a-journey-of-love-andrew-lecompte-on-a-course-in-miracles

As David Bingham so beautifully describes:

“…I would like to add that in this modern age the Neo-Advaitan tradition of the truth existing ultimately in the sphere of the non-dual (which is followed by so many, with so many esteemed teachers ) is a deeply flawed model of understanding of the nature of the human condition and its relationship with the Infinite. It is a form of understanding which has an in-built tendency to deeply exacerbate illusions concerning the experiences of life and in turn to generate rigidities around its interpretation. In doing so it has great potential to be harmful to the fundamental well-being of its adherents, all the more so because it dresses itself in the clothes of liberation. It is a false and incomplete freedom of the age.” ~David Bingham

There is a reason the systems of Neo-Advaita (radical non-duality) and ACIM use highly protective and controlling methods such as insularity, exclusiveness, the false alignment with true Teachers and Scripture, systemic deception and manipulation (often using the occult).

Be aware (beware) where there is a lack of integrity…where the front-does-not-match-the-back.

Integrity is key.

We’ve all seen that one can be awake to Wholeness and yet that, in no way, means one is free from shadow or is somehow a balanced and decent human.

One can be awake to the Oneness and still be creating delusions and, worse yet, harming others in the process.

As long as we don human body there is shadow…and mistakes can, and are, easily made.

It’s what a conscious person actually does once a mistake (Yes, there are mistakes and there is harm) has occurred that is the true mark of an evolved Soul.

Please feel free to contact me should you have anything to share related to this content or any questions: ⚛️ Leslie@integrityintruth.com

(Top Image: The ever appropriate words of Jeff Brown, Enrealment Press and where expletives are, most certainly, appropriate!)

Posted on

The Rush to Transcendence…

About a decade+ into intense practice at SAT…and coming fresh off a retreat…I was going down-the-stairs to the basement dungeon where I packaged up book orders. I was beyond worried with how-on-earth I was going to do all the tasks that kept piling up. 

I was SO worried by the time I got down the stairs that I truly felt I would have a heart attack. 

Right then-and-there, I concentrated on the task in front of me and I instantly expanded out as pure Space…out to Pluto (and beyond) and became omni-present…I was the rock outside-the-door etc.

Shortly thereafter Nome calls the bookstore desk-phone and says “See? That wasn’t so hard!”

Unfortunately the story went downhill thereafter and I was segregated-out (via ‘character assassination’  ⚛️ https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/character-assassination/ ) for knowing too much about the brothers…until, ultimately, I had to be asked to leave lest the Indians catch wind of what the brothers had done by way of concocting a very elaborate story. 

In the ensuing decade+ this life would see every.single.aspect destroyed, controlled and monitored. This was done via the siddha occult practices of “auric block” (for extreme relational control, notably intimate relations), “psychic implant” (for existential surveillance) and extreme familial manipulation via siddis (occult control) to ensure this non-dual fast-track-to-transcendence would never be interrupted.

Shortly before leaving SAT for good, after a Sunday Satsang and during the final mediation, that glimpse of space was experienced again…this time through a simple and naturally focused attention. Nome immediately looked at me as though I was, somehow, supposed to ‘grab’ that state and plunge into enlightenment! 

My feeling, in the moment, was that it felt as though all the teachers were on some kind of “race-to-the-finish-line’ and that they would do anything to ensure people “wake up.” 

Nome was greatly influenced by Osho/Rajneesh and, in many of the less-sordid ways, patterned SAT after Osho’s teaching and organization. 

David Solomon who was with Osho in Pune and Eastern Oregon and later had a close connection with UG Krishnamurti, talked about Osho’s Rajneeshpuram “experiment to provoke God” in a similar vein:

“I believe (Gurdjieffian) devices were used by him to possibly awaken a few at the expense of the many. About that I’ve been very vocal myself. Real crimes against humanity were committed in an effort to bring about “the New Man.” No bueno.” (Emphasis added).

As with everything hidden, we are now seeing some of the more sordid aspects emerge with the now-grown children who were victims of neglect and sexual abuse during Rajneesh puram times finally speak out.

The salient and prophetic words of Ken Wilber here are very apt:

“Unless you are on a path that includes not only ‘waking up’…but ’growing-up’ AND ‘cleaning-up’…all 3-in-one package…you are going to get f**ked!! You WILL end up in a bad, bad way because one of these is going to go sour. That is THE major, unfortunate, path that the majority of people end up taking… and they end up wasting a life.” Samadhi does not, of course, address (ANY) shadow elements…in some cases it makes it *worse* as there is pure dis-identification.”

⚛️ The Existential Dangers of Pure Dis-Identification: https://integrityintruth.com/the-existential-dangers-of-pure-dis-identification/

A deeply insightful comment by my friend David Bingham…

“…I would like to add that in this modern age the Neo-Advaitan tradition of the truth existing ultimately in the sphere of the non-dual (which is followed by so many, with so many esteemed teachers ) is a deeply flawed model of understanding of the nature of the human condition and its relationship with the Infinite.  It is a form of understanding which has an in-built tendency to deeply exacerbate illusions concerning the experiences of life and in turn to generate rigidities around its interpretation.  In doing so it has great potential to be harmful to the fundamental well-being of its adherents, all the more so because it dresses itself in the clothes of liberation. It is a false and incomplete freedom of the age.”

No doubt what has occurred in this life is arguably one of more horrific and existentially harmful examples of the harm that can occur when non-dual teachers have not done their own internal work. While this situation does not include the typical breaches of integrity commonly known as sexual manipulations (and is, most certainly, not making light of such) this particular situation is far more pervasive, insidious, systemic and disturbing (of Integrity) in its use of over-arching lies, deceptions, cronyism involving collusion and coercion and the extreme misuse of high-level siddis (occult powers).

This is, sadly, the case before adequate inner work.

The rush to transcendence…

The following is an example (albeit extreme) of what can happen when teachers do not acknowledge and confront their own shadow(s):

⚛️ The ‘Compression Years’…of deliberate isolation and silencing (under threat)…in which Adyashanti played a key role: https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/

⚛️ Coffee Lane and the many engaging in sweeping deception: https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/coffee-lane-and-the-two-years-prior-to-moving-to-portland-december-2015-july-2018-%e2%9c%be/

⚛️ The systemic deception and collusion within the non-dual community: https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the…/

⚛️ The systemic deception and collusion within the non-dual community: https://integrityintruth.com/systemic-collusion-in-the…/

⚛️ Paul Selig’s message that this ‘was not intentional to me’ yet the existential controls were most definitely intentional to me…and my family: https://integrityintruth.com/clarif…/the-move-to-portland/

⚛️ Letter to the ASI (Association for Spiritual ‘Integrity’): https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0&e=1&fbclid=IwAR2hNCDCiHgzRQrXqce9WFFH5vgHGHoGlda3PUlGKT2n1qMuoFfoMadMbvs

Thank you for following my work. ❦

Please feel free to contact me should you have anything to share related to this content or any questions: ⚛️ Leslie@integrityintruth.com

Posted on

The Case for Ultimate Independence…

“Tarot contains and expresses any doctrine to be found in our consciousness, and in this sense it has definiteness. It represents Nature in all the richness of its infinite possibilities, and there is in it as in Nature, not one but all potential meanings. And these meanings are fluent in ever-changing, so the Tarot cannot be specifically this or that, for it ever moves and yet is ever the same.“ ~ P. D. Ouspenskty, Russian Mathematician and Occultist, author of the Symbolism of the Tarot (1913).

We are now being called to internalize our Authority and to internalize our Sovereignty.

Not too long ago I sold, or gave away, seven heaping boxes of, primarily, patriarchal non-duality…the spiritual teachings of neti-neti.

Those teachings were never my own…they never resonated. My path is one where everything is included.

In so many ways, the teachings of neti-neti were presented as the only viable path to Truth…much in the same way that my former teacher, Nome, was presented as the only ‘awakened’ teacher in this country.

Some have called me “anti-teacher.” 🙂 

Yet…that was certainly never the case. This is a deeply devoted Heart to many teachers and, more importantly, to Freedom.

What I am “anti,”  or against, are teachers who lie, deceive and look to control others. No matter the reason…perhaps most especially if that reason appears to be a “lofty” one. At some point, I became the inadvertent ‘holder’ for the lies of an awakening ‘scheme’ — a scheme to awaken Humanity — throughout the non-dual community. The gigantic karmic load for those deceptions was deliberately foisted, solely, on these shoulders. The lies were so extensive as to require the complete control over this life…effectively blocking the Freedom this Soul demanded in this lifetime.

In a very real sense (and certainly what happened in this life), nihilistic, or radical non-duality is the perfect set-up for abuse.

The Dogma of Patriarchal Control: ⚛️ https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-dogma-of-patriarchal-control/

Both of my former teachers would occasionally denounce anything deemed as “New Age.”

Yet, it was/is those very modalities…such as crystals, the pendulum (or dousing), energy work (particularly daily clearing of the auric field), water (the medium for The Light), numerology (direct confirmations from Spirit/your Higher Self), intuitive Astrology (a past, present and future uncannily-accurate roadmap of your Soul — not ‘prescriptive’ as we have ‘free will), intuitive Tarot (deLightful and direct, channeled messaging from your Soul), the natural world and the magnificent healing properties that surround and permeate us.

Those modalities were, and are,  precisely the mechanisms that would, ultimately, extricate me from the existential controls…and the complex-web-of-lies…of my former teachers.

Our True Nature is easily channeled, and recognized, by the sincere Heart through a simple asking.…an on-going dialogue with The Universe.

It is the primary difference between the Patriarchal approach – and the hyper-hypocrisy of the dualism-of-non-duality…of the splitting (or separating out ) of anything, most especially our Humanity – and the Feminine, all inclusive, approach…where everything is (already) included…and always has been included.

The patriarchal separating out…or splitting-off…of our sacred Bodies and precious Minds effectively eliminated the most efficacious portals into transcendence (if transcendence is your goal). 

WHAT, on God’s Sacred Earth, needs transcending?!

The Existential Danger of Nihilistic, Radical Non-Duality: ⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/the-existential-danger-of-radical-non-duality/

The age of the external teacher, guide and/or Guru is rapidly drawing to a close: ending an era that spans generations and thousands of years…an era where there has been enormous benefit and an equally enormous — if not greater — calamity for many who fell into the abyss of abuse and control.

It’s the unfortunate downside of power…and of falling prey to a supposed power outside of our innate Divinity.

We have everything we need…inside of ourselves…for any Answer that would be forthcoming and beholden to Unconditional Love. No teacher, in the Human form, could possibly, ever, know the trajectory of any given Soul.

It is the rightful claiming of the birthright of our integral  sovereignty, creativity and authenticity.

Welcome Home. We have everything we need.

-Leslie Read

Please feel free to contact me should you have anything to share related to this content or any questions: ⚛️ Leslie@integrityintruth.com

Posted on

Cover-for-Harm in the Non-Dual Field

Adyashanti, the ASI (Association of Spiritual ‘Integrity’) and their Collusion to cover for the Existential Controls of Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver…

Association for Spiritual ‘Integrity’ – ASI

Candace O’Denver’s Great Freedom/Balanced View
Nome and Russell Smith’s SAT –
Society of Abidance in ‘Truth’
Adyashanti and Mukti’s ‘Open Gate’

On March 2, 2023  (Admin of) the FaceBook Association for Spiritual Integrity (ASI) Discussion Group posted:

“We are excited to let you all know that the Association for Spiritual Integrity has been invited to present at the Harvard Divinity School Conference….Jac O’Keeffe, Philip Goldberg, and Rick Archer will be leading an interactive workshop on “Lessons from a Young Organization Making a Difference,” about the work of the ASI.”

“Making a difference?!?” Given the hypocrisy of the ASI’s attendance to Harvard Divinity School Conference I wrote the following:

Is this the same Rick Archer and Jac O’Keeffe who I addressed the following letter (dropbox link below) to?

ASI LETTER (Assoc. for Spiritual ’Integrity’) 03/06/2023 ⚛️https://www.dropbox.com/s/hga3c7zpo1v973j/ASI%20Letter%2003%3A06%3A23.pdf?dl=0&e=1&fbclid=IwAR2hNCDCiHgzRQrXqce9WFFH5vgHGHoGlda3PUlGKT2n1qMuoFfoMadMbvs

Instead of saying “How can we help?”…I was told Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver (who goes by too numerous aliases to mention) that they were NOT members of the ASI, and therefore the ASI could NOT help me.

Jac O’Keeffe and Lauren Medeiros met with me on Zoom for 30 minutes concluding ONLY that contemporary non-duality is the ‘wild west’ and…

…Rick Archer who, on a private messenger thread with @ 50 others, chided my reporting…and the voice recording at the end of the above letter describing the deliberate existential controls affecting 4-generations of my family…defiantly asked me “How’s that going for ya?” (in reference to my reporting).

This case involving 4-generations of my family is arguably one of the most existentially damaging to a life/lives…not to mention to the integrity of the teachers/teachings.

Are these the SAME PEOPLE who are going to the Harvard Divinity School??

How about a live…and OPEN…meeting with one of the more significant and influential teachers who absolutely participated in the existential controls of Nome/Russ/Candice?

Namely:  ADYASHANTI?

Adya could look me straight-in-my-eyes and tell me, unequivocally, that not only does he know nothing of Nome but he, himself, didn’t have his OWN HANDS directly involved in the ‘Compression Years.’

How about that??


Jeannie Zandi, Bentinho and the Adyashanti connection that drew in many connected with them…⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/bentinho-and-the-adya-connection/


Adyashanti…the major large-name non-dual teacher covering for Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver…⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/the-primary-collusive-support-of-adyashanti/


Gangaji and her support of Nome and of my continuance in being forced  hold their lies… ⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/gangaji-and-her-support-of-the-deceptions/


The ‘Compression Years’…of isolation and deliberate silencing (under threat) at the hands of non-dual teachers…in which Adyashanti played a key role: ⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-compression-years-2013-2015/


The Dogma of Patriarchal Control & Occult Manipulation:  ⚛️https://integrityintruth.com/clarification-of-videos/the-dogma-of-patriarchal-control/

Truth & Integrity contain non-duality but non-duality, most definitely, does not guarantee truth nor integrity.

Warmly, ~Leslie Read


Thank you 🌷❣️…Please feel free to contact me should you have anything to share related to this content or any questions: ⚛️ Leslie@IntegrityInTruth.com

P.S.…As of March 24, 2023 the above message was removed by an admin on the FaceBook ASI Community page

Posted on

The Colluding Role of Adyashanti and Open-Gate

A Deep Burn in what (only) appears to be Truth

The following was in conversation with a FB friend and currently acting teacher regarding Adyashanti’s knowledge… and cover…for Nome, Russell Smith and Candace O’Denver:

I begin with a ‘bit’ of clarification regarding Kiran’s ‘honesty’….

While, I appreciated the feminine aspect of authenticity that Kiran Trace deJaray brought to the teachings there was, also, an obvious dishonesty regarding the reason and purpose of the time she spent with me.

She was not the only one in such a position.

Kiran was one of several who had been sent to spend time with me. This may have even been a paid job as it was with the following:

-Michael Harrington 

-Steven Walters

-Marilyn Madden

-Kiran Trace

All 4 have very close ties with Adyashanti. 

Those four (and, later, Prajna Ginty and Kristy Thompson) spent inordinate amounts of time with me. 

https://integrityintruth.com/the-primary-collusive-support-of-adyashanti/

Marilyn Madden invited me to gatherings at Prema Akasha’s (she was then the “Creative Director” for Open Gate and who, now, goes by Maja Apolonia Rode) where Bentinho, Michael Harrington, Benjamin Smythe (who had his knowledge of my situation written all over his face…as did Rupert Spira during the 2 Satsangs of his that I attended in 2013 with Nishkala Leslie Jennings (who, also, was sent!!), etc would gather. 

Being from the highly air-tight and insular SAT (Society of Abidance in Truth in Santa Cruz, CA), at the time I knew none of these people.

Some have gone to great lengths to protect Adya’s brand…for obvious reasons. 

Yet, from Adya’s talks, in Santa Cruz,  the cover for Nome was apparent. 

Even mentioning such a connection of Adya’s ties with Nome to Sonya Amrita Bibilos, Marilyn Madden, John Thomas and others draws extreme reactions and, in the case of Marilyn, gaslighting that is over-the-top.

The reactions of those three tell a lot…yet SAT and Open Gate were always revolving doors.

https://integrityintruth.com/on-the-importance-of-integrity/

Mary Winslow, who was very close to my kids and who eventually left for Open Gate, wore her distress about this situation all over her face. I ran into Mary and Peter outside the Nickelodeon theater in Santa Cruz where we had just (appropriately) seen ‘Diving Bell and The Butterfly”…a movie which amazingly described being physically silenced after a car accident resulting in complete paralysis with the exception of being able to blink one eye.

I was in shock from that movie as it was the very beginning of feeling my life had literally been taken.

While much of this is sensitivity and intuition there were also clairvoyant messages, particularly of other teachers tied to Nome. I didn’t know, at the time, what clairvoyance even was/is…but thoughts/feelings of others (some whom I had never met) would come streaming in.

Why am I reporting on this? 

…for myself, for Stan (my father), for Em and Ty (my daughter and son), for my two grandkids (the youngest of whom would not recognize me), for those who have also been harmed by these teachers…and, ultimately, for the Truth. 

Gratitude to one who had the courage to say it ‘out loud’:

“…everyone plays dumb to maintain a whitewashed narrative — at your expense …(and) is lying about the same thing…”

Honesty and integrity are values that I will not compromise on.

The extent of these deceptions is steep…and it is systemic.

❦ Feel free to contact me at with any questions: leslie@integrityintruth.com

Photo: A Deep Burn in what (only) appears to be Truth…taken with an iPhone 13 in NW Portland. ?⚖️?❤️